A Place to Start…

[This page was originally a post dated May 30, 2020]

Where to begin?

Like me, you may be reeling from the events of this past week, month, year, decade, lifetime. You might be hopeful about where we go next, cautiously optimistic, unusually pessimistic, or completely numb. You might be feeling a giant ball of emotion which sometimes spills out and sometimes just churns around in your stomach… until the next time it comes out. Or maybe you are safely, and blessedly, removed from it all.

For anyone slightly (or greatly) confused, let me break this down for you: I’m a Black woman from Houston, Texas who teaches yoga in the Twin Cities (Minnesota). This week, George Floyd, a Black man from Houston, Texas was killed here in Minneapolis. (For those of you who have read the last few months of posts, George Floyd grew up in the neighborhood where my grandfather had his bars and he was killed (Monday, May 25, 2020) on a corner where he and I quite possibly crossed paths (on Saturday, September 16, 2017). His death has sparked protest around the country, and some of those protests have turned violent. At least one additional person has died in the last few days during the protests. Millions and millions of dollars have been lost as local and big box businesses have burned to the ground and/or sustained damages that make it unlikely they will re-open. All of this is happening after a racially-charged death earlier this month (in the Saint Paul); after several years of racially-charged police-related deaths in the country; and during a global pandemic that has shut down much of the world over the last few months.

People are hurt, angry, confused, and fed up. People are also hurt, angry, confused, and scared. At least one international correspondent has said she has never seen anything like what’s going on here in all her years of covering protests and civil unrest all over the world. So, the question becomes, “Where do we go from here?”

As friends and family call and text to check on those of us that are here – and as we call and text to check on each – I have struggled with what to say to my students. We are largely impacted in very different ways because of our very different circumstances and backgrounds. However, because this is not our (the USA’s) first racially-charged rodeo, we have to face up to the fact that amidst all the possible aftermaths there are two very real probable outcomes:

(a) nothing-to-very little changes on a systematic level, or

(b) everything (or almost) everything changes.

For the latter to be even a remote possibility we have to heal and move forward together – something that may seem impossible when we are so far apart.

So, back to a variation of that first question: Where do we begin?

First, keep breathing. Like Eric Garner, who was killed in New York in July of 2014, one of the last things George Floyd was able to say was, “I can’t breathe.” Breathing is connected to our autonomic nervous system; it is something that happens to us, and also something we can engage or control. Situations that activate our sympathetic nervous system (making us want to fight, flee, freeze, or collapse) also create a breathe pattern that is not sustainable over long periods of time. Unfortunately, we are living in a time where are sympathetic nervous system is constantly activated – sometimes to the point of being over stimulated – and we develop a habit of bad breathing. Don’t take this next breath for granted. Never take your breath, which is a symbol of your life, for granted. Take the deepest breath you’ve taken all day, every day. Then follow it with another… and another. Make it a habit, a practice, to very deliberately and intentionally breathe. Do it for yourself and those you love. Do it, also, in honor of those who “can’t breathe.”

Second, pay attention to your heart. As I prepare to post this, the officer primarily associated with George Floyd’s death has been charged with third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter. (This could change, but I’m not betting on it.) My understanding is that in the State of Minnesota “third-degree murder” is associated with the term “depraved-heart murder;” that is to say, a murder committed by someone who acts with “depraved indifference to human life.” You can easily find more details on the legal points if you so desire. I, however, suggest considering that concept of a depraved heart.”

The word depraved comes to us from the Latin (roots meaning “down thoroughly” and “crooked, perverse”) by way of Old French and late Middle English. The late Middle English definition is to “pervert the meaning or intention of something.” So, while the modern usage of the word “depraved” is (linguistically) used to indicate something or someone is “morally corrupt or wicked,” the original idea of the word in this context is that this was a murder which perverted the intention of the heart.

Let that sink in for a moment. Now, consider the purpose of your heart. Energetically, even emotionally speaking, our heart(s) are connections and connectors. They are also a symbol of our lives. The operation of the physical heart is autonomic, but it is connected to the way in which we breathe. So, as you spend some time taking that deep breath in, and that deep breath out, focus on your heart. Notice how it feels and notice what it needs to stay connected.

Finally, listen. Below are links to “A Place to Start” playlist. If you click on the first video, it will take you through the others. Or, you could just click randomly on the videos. ~~At some point I may add to this playlist.~~ As of May 21, 2021, I’ve added two more videos to the list. Listen. Notice how your heart reacts to what you see and hear. Breathe – and do it all over again.

A young man sings from his heart.