FTWMI: We Keep On Falling September 27, 2023

Many blessings, to everyone and especially those celebrating Ganesh Chaturthi!!

For Those Who Missed It: The following was originally posted in 2020. Some additional context has been added. Some links connect outside of this blog. WARNING: This post references mental health and addiction.

“‘For a righteous man can fall seven times and rise, but the wicked shall stumble upon evil.’”

— Mishlei — Proverbs (24:16)

Here we are again. We spent some time “remembering, reflecting, repenting, and planning.” We were inspired and filled with momentum, ready for better days… And then, the inevitable happens: we fall, we stumble, we trip; we fail. We may be all the way back to square one or squarely behind the 8-ball; either way, we have a moment where we feel like we suck and it sucks to be us.

But, here’s the thing. Everyone fails. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has a setback. Think of Thomas Edison who famously said that he had had not failed 10,000; he hadn’t even failed once. He said, instead, “I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” That right there is the perspective of a man who gets up. That right there is the resilient attitude of a person who learns not only from “mistakes,” but also from things just not going according to their plan. The lesson for today, however, is more than just about our character being defined by what happens IF we fall — cause, come on, we’re going to fall. The lesson is even about more than how we rise back up. Today is also about how we respond when someone else falls and how we set ourselves up for success.

“‘When your enemy falls, do not rejoice, and when he stumbles, let your heart not exult, lest the Lord see and be displeased, and turn His wrath away from him. Do not compete with evildoers; do not envy the wicked’”

— Mishlei — Proverbs (24:17 -19)

On his podcast, Armchair Expert, the actor Dax Shepard recently (in 2020) admitted that he had fallen off the wagon after 16 years of sobriety. No, he did not go back to imbibing his drugs of choice — and that’s a blessing and a reason to celebrate — but he did start running (backwards) down a slippery slope. As he details in the podcast, his slip came with all the bad behavior of someone who had never been sober… and all the hubris of someone who had spent almost 2 decades actively being sober. The podcast episode was recorded right at the beginning of the high holidays; so (in my head), it’s cool that he started the new year doing exactly what is recommended to wipe the slate clean. What’s kind of gut wrenching to hear, as he talks about owning up to his mistakes and asking forgiveness from his wife, Kristen Bell, as well as from his podcast co-host, Monica Padman, and all his friends is how much time he spent twisting the poisoned arrow (and the second arrow).

Remember, in Buddhism there are two parables about arrows. In the case of the poisoned arrow, a man is shot with a poisoned arrow while surrounded by people who want to help save his life. The man, however, is so focused on why his shot (and all the particulars about the person that shot him) that the poison seeps into his bloodstream and kills him. In the story about the second arrow, the Buddha points out that when a person is shot by one arrow after the other (both non-poisonous), the first arrow represents physical pain; while the second arrow is the emotional and mental suffering we add to the experience. Dax Shepard admitted he spent a lot of time not being honest simply because of his comparison to others, the possible judgment of others, and the fact that he didn’t want to “lose” the accomplishment of all those years of sobriety. To his credit, he is figuring out a way to let the people around him help him. To his credit, he is figuring out the blessing of gratitude. His story may be more dramatic than ours and may have more public details, but we’ve all been in situations where we thought we had something figured out and then…. Oops, not so much.

There is yet another piece to (t)his story. It involves the homonyms “fell” and “fail.” Think for a moment about how admitting that we “fell” puts the events firmly in the past and allows us to focus on the present, as it moves into the future. When we use the word “fail” we get stuck. Because it is in the present tense — and, even when conjugated, can feel very active — we may focus on past events as if they are our present, future, and forever condition. Take a moment, to consider what happens when we put the falling in the past and rise up. Yes, life (or people) may knock us down again, but in this moment there is a lesson about how to do things differently.

“My fears were the opposite of what the result was.”

— Dax Shepard, quoted from an Armchair Expert episode “Day 7” (recorded September 21, 2020)

Classes for today are cancelled. I apologize for the inconvenience. If you are on the Wednesday class list, you will receive a recording of this practice. My regular schedule on Zoom resumes on Saturday. Check the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

The 2020 playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “09292020 Falling 7x”]

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

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