[The One] Who Exercises Care and Tenderness Towards Another May 10, 2020

(“Ramadan Mubarak, Blessed Ramadan!” to anyone who is observing Ramadan. I typically talk about Ramadan at the end of the season, so keep your eyes open.)

“Keep it between the lines.
Don’t take any wooden nickels.
Breathe.
Laugh. Laugh. LAUGH!”

— words to live by, from my mommy (who is our family oar)

“I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother’s day commemorating her for the matchless service she renders to humanity in every field of life. She is entitled to it.”

— the end of 1876 Sunday school lesson by Ann Reeves Jarvis (words that inspired her daughter Anna Maria Jarvis)

Even though I am far from home, I am surrounded by motherly love. I don’t mean that metaphorically; I am literally surrounded by incredible and incredibly loving moms. Trust me when I tell you, I can spot a fabulous mom from a mile away, because I was raised by a fabulous mom.

Well, to be honest, given the maternal legacy on both sides of my family, I was raised by a whole village of fabulous moms – and I am who am (and who I will be) because of their strength, courage, and wisdom. I am also who I am, and who I will be, because of their love, joy, and perseverance. Finally, I am who I am, and who I will be, because of their food (and love of food), their relationships (with each other and the world), and their stories – stories of both successes and failures. Even though I don’t have any kids, people often say (especially around Mother’s Day) that I am like a spiritual mother; and, if that’s the truth, I am what I am, and what I will be, because of the mothers in my family.

“MOTHER, noun [Latin mater, mother; matrix, the womb; materia, matter, stuff, materials of which any thing is made. We observe that in some other languages, as well as in English, the same word signifies a female parent, and the thick slime formed in vinegar; and in all the languages of Europe here cited, the orthography is nearly the same as that of mud and matter. The question then occurs whether the name of a female parent originated in a word expressing matter, mold; either the soil of the earth, as the producer, or the like substance, when shaped and fitted as a mold for castings; or whether the name is connected with the opinion that the earth is the mother of all productions; whence the word mother-earth. We are informed by a fragment of Sanchoniathon, that the ancient Phenicians considered mud to be the substance from which all things were formed. See Mud. The word matter is evidently from the Ar. madda, to secrete, eject or discharge a purulent substance; and I think cannot have any direct connection with mud. But in the Italian, Spanish and Portuguese, the same word madre signified mother and a mold for castings; and the northern languages, particularly the German and Danish, seem to establish the fact that the proper sense of mother is matrix. Hence mother of pearl, the matrix of pearl. If this word had its origin in the name of the earth used for the forms of castings, it would not be a singular fact; for our word mold, in this sense, I suppose to be so named from mold, fine earth. The question remains sub judice.]”

 

– Webster’s Dictionary 1828

For years, I taught my classes on Mother’s Day as a tribute to my Mother and grandmothers, great-grandmothers (because I was lucky enough to know a few) and all the great-aunts, aunts, adult cousins, neighbors, and family friends who have had a hand in raising me. (Not to mention the sister-in-laws, contemporaries, and nieces who have taught me so much as they raise their kids.) Sometimes I wished my elders could take one of those classes, but I knew that probably wasn’t ever going to happen.

Then, in 2018, I went home to spend the day with my mother and maternal grandmother. This was the grandmother I would call between classes every Sunday and, as it turned out, that Sunday in 2018 would be her final Mother’s Day on Earth. I went back the following year, because it was where I wanted to be (with my mommy) and it felt like the right place to be. In my heart, I wasn’t planning to teach any more Mother’s Day classes. It was bittersweet, because it meant I wouldn’t lead the classes I considered a tribute, but – on the other hand – I got to spend the day back home with my mom, which seemed very much in the spirit Anna Jarvis always intended.

“Mother’s Day is a personal, family and memorial day. It’s a celebration for sons and daughters; a thanks and offering for the blessings of good homes…. Make Mother’s Day is a family day of reunions, messages to the absent and the spirit of good will to all. It is a constructive movement emphasizing the home as the highest inspiration of our individual and national lives. Mother’s Day is a day of sentiment — not sentimentality; a day for everybody, but is well named Mother’s Day, for where better can sentiment start?”

– Anna Marie Jarvis in a 1924 Miami Daily News interview, explaining how the commercialization of Mother’s Day was “the wrong spirit”

Like so many others, the pandemic means I don’t get to go home for Mother’s Day this year. Once again, for me, the feeling is bittersweet. While I will not spend this 112^th anniversary of the first official Mother’s Day (May 10, 1908) at home, with my mom, I do get to spend it with some fabulous moms (and some of their children). Please join us for a celebration of all mothers, by way of a virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, May 10^th) at 2:30 PM. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. Today’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.

Kiss My Asana, the yogathon that benefits Mind Body Solutions and their adaptive yoga program is officially over. But, I still owe you two posts and you can still do yoga, share yoga, help others by donating to my KMA campaign.

You can also check out the all-humanity, Kick-Off gathering featuring insights from MBS founder Matthew Sanford, conversation with MBS students, and a mind-body practice for all. This practice features several stories about mothers and one mother in particular doing what fabulous mom’s do best – supporting her child. If you’re not familiar with MBS, this will give you a glimpse into the work, the people, and the humanity of the adaptive yoga program which I am helping to raise $50K of essential support.

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To my Mom, and all Mothers everywhere,
May you be safe & protected;
May you be peaceful & happy;
May you be healthy & strong;
May you love and be loved, today and always.

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