A (Happy) Fork in the Road October 6, 2020
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“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
– Yogi Berra
“Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.”
– commentary for Happiness tip #2, quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
Throughout Sukkot, I mention Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s “Six Tips for Happiness” and, on any given day, one of the tips really sticks out. For obvious reasons (as we’ll discuss tomorrow), I always highlight his final tip, “Express gratitude, whenever possible.” There is however, another little jewel, tucked in at the beginning, which is easy to gloss over and over look: Tip #2, “Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning.” To figure out what that even means, we have to go a little deeper.
Dr. Ben Shahar is the co-founder of the Happiness Studies Academy (HAS), where you can get a certificate in “Happiness Studies.” At one time, he was a tenure-track professor at Harvard who taught psychology of leadership classes and a class that was referred to as “Happiness 101.” If you are not familiar with this work, let me preface today be saying that Dr. Ben-Shahar and his colleagues are scholars of positive psychology, which is defined as “the scientific study of positive human functioning and flourishing on multiple levels that include the biological, personal, relational, institutional, cultural, and global dimensions of life.” So, basically, it is the interdisciplinary existential science of having a “good life” – whatever that means to you at this moment.
Actually, that last part is a bit tricky, because we humans have a tendency to focus on things in a way that actually makes us unhappy.
“Whoever loves silver will not be sated with silver, and he who loves a multitude without increase-this too is vanity.”
– Kohelet – Ecclesiastes (5:9)
“‘For Epicurus ataraxia was the only true happiness. And how do we achieve it? Not through Plato’s harmony of the soul nor Aristotle’s attainment of reason but simply by the elimination of worry or anxiety. If Epicurus were speaking to you at this moment, he would urge you to simplify life. Here’s how he might put it if he were standing here today….
Lads, your needs are few, they are easily attained, and any necessary suffering can be easily tolerated. Don’t complicate your life with such trivial goals as riches and fame: they are the enemy of ataraxia. Fame, for example, consists of the opinions of others and requires that we must live our life as others wish. To achieve and maintain fame, we must like what others like and shun whatever it is that they shun. Hence, a life of fame or a life in politics? Flee from it. And wealth? Avoid it! It is a trap. The more we acquire the more we crave, and the deeper our sadness when our yearning is not satisfied. Lads, listen to me: If you crave happiness, do not waste your life struggling for that which you really do not need.’”
– the fictionalized Franciscus van den Enden speaking to his students in The Spinoza Problem: A Novel by Dr. Irvin D. Yalom
While scientists focus on what it takes to thrive and flourish, there is also a very definite awareness that people define happiness in different ways and, therefore, the way they approach finding happiness becomes different. Keep in mind that we are still looking at functional/not-afflicted behavior and dysfunctional/afflicted behavior. However, positive psychology emphasizes the functional and does not rigidly define “happiness” – even though the Happiness Studies Academy states that the way in which they define happiness is critical to their mission. It is also critical, as I inferred above, to whether or not we are happy – whatever that means to you in this moment.
For some people, happiness is an ecstatic kind of joy. For others, it is “just not being miserable.” Over the last few days I have mentioned that Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, a Sri Lankan Theravada Buddhist monk, equates happiness to “not suffering” or being free of suffering. Then there is the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche (an October baby), who said:
“Happiness is the feeling that power increases – that resistance is being overcome.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Since I am, all year long, dedicated to “a joyful practice,” every physical practice I lead includes elements of the Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s “Six Tips for Happiness.” It wasn’t my original intention to mirror the good doctor’s research. Instead, I was inspired by yoga sūtra 2.46 (“sthirasukham āsanam”), which is all about finding that balance between effort and relaxation (i.e., power without resistance). But, it just turns out that the six tips are things that really work and make sense (if you take a moment to go deeper). Some of the elements are, of course, very obvious: there’s always emphasis on the mind-body connection and there’s always an opportunity to express gratitude. However, what you may not always realize is how we keep coming back to that “intersection between pleasure and meaning.”
Throughout every practice, I combine things that feel good (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) with the meaning behind why we do what we do the way we do it. Granted, what feels good in my mind-body may not feel good in yours and vice versa, and what feels good today may not feel good tomorrow – which is why the meaning or purpose is so important. It gives each practitioner agency or stewardship over their own practice. So, sometimes I offer the specific anatomical or physiological meaning/purpose of a pose or sequence. Other times I offer the energetic, emotional, and/or spiritual significance of something we are doing.
Usually, the music speaks for itself, but I might highlight a lyric here or there, just in case you missed it. Then too there is the symbolism of the poses, the sequences, and/or – as I mention during Sukkot and other spiritual observations – the symbolism of rituals within various traditions. Finally, there are the stories (and the smiles), which are just another way to mix in an extra dose of pleasure and meaning.
“And it’s up to me to try and meet my fate with a smile”
– quoted from “Joyful” by X Ambassadors
Please join me today (Tuesday, October 6th) at 12 Noon or 7:15 PM for a virtual yoga practice on Zoom, where we will do what we do. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Look for “Sukkot 2”)
Yoga Sūtra 2.18: prakāśkriyāsthitiśīlam bhūtendriyāmakam bhogāpavargārtham dŗśyam
– “The objective world (what is seen), consisted of a combination of elements and senses, and having a nature of illumination, activity, and stability, has two purposes: fulfillment and freedom.”
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Are You Happy Now? (What About Now?) October 5, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Dharma, Faith, Gratitude, Hope, Life, One Hoop, Pema Chodron, Philosophy, Suffering, Sukkot, Vairagya, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: avidyā, Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, Buddha, Buddhism, Happiness, ignorance, lojong, Pema Chödrön, Philosophy, Rabbi Marc Katz, Suffering, Sukkot, Theravada Buddhism, yoga, Yoga Sutra 2.42, Yoga Sutras 2.40-2.41
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“Skillful actions are those that create the causes for happiness, such as actions motivated by loving-friendliness and compassion. Any action that comes from a mind not currently filled with greed, hatred, or delusion brings happiness to the doer and to the receiver. Such an action is, therefore, skillful or right.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
I have heard Dharma teachers say that for all his lists, techniques, and stories, the Buddha only taught (about) two things: suffering and the end of suffering. Just like in the yoga philosophy, Buddhism focuses on the root causes of suffering in order to identify what thoughts, words, and deeds cause the end of suffering. And, in both philosophies, everything begins with understanding/knowledge. The bottom line (in both philosophies) is that avidyā (ignorance or false understanding) leads to desire/attachment which in turns causes suffering. If we can eliminate the ignorance, we can eliminate the suffering. So, ultimately, each philosophy is a path to understanding cause and effect in order to end suffering by eradicating ignorance.
The question is: What is the end of suffering?
Bhante Henepola Gunaratana is a Sri Lankan Theravada Buddhist who has lead retreats around the world and taught graduate level courses at American University, Georgetown University, Bucknell University, and the University of Maryland, College Park. In addition to writing about mindfulness “in plain English”, he identifies the end of suffering as “happiness”; thereby making the Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path “Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness”.
“The Buddha pointed to ten actions that are always unskillful because they inevitably cause suffering. Three are actions of the body: killing, stealing, and sexual misconduct. Four are actions of speech: lying, malicious words, harsh language, and useless talk. The last three are actions of the mind: covetousness, ill will, and wrong view of the nature of reality….
Before we can begin to practice the Buddha’s path, however, we need enough basic understanding to see that these ten actions are unskillful because they inevitably bring deep suffering both to the doers and the recipients.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
Right at the beginning of Sukkot, which some refer to as the “Season of Happiness”, Rabbi Marc Katz asked his synagogue a question which really resonated with me. He asked, “What is something you are holding on to that, in fact, would be better understood as impermanent?” Now, this question really resonated with me for a number of reasons — with the primary reason being that it hones in on some key points related to avidyā. First, it highlights our attachment to ignorance/delusion. Second, it brought to mind the fact that in the philosophy of Yoga the very first example of avidyā is the belief that something impermanent is permanent.
It seems to me that Patanjali was just as fond of lists as the Buddha. So, I’ll point out here that mistaking the nature of things is only the first example of avidyā. The belief that something impure is pure, that something which causes suffering will cause happiness, and that the experience of something related to the self is the (whole essence) of the Self are all identified in yoga sūtra 2.5 as avidyā. And, don’t forget, that avidyā (ignorance) is not only the first afflicted/dysfunctional thought pattern (klişţa) which leads to suffering, it is the bedrock for the other four afflicted/dysfunctional thought patterns which lead to suffering: false sense of self, attachment, aversion, and fear of loss/death.
“Moreover, people engage in such misdeeds only when their understanding is faulty and their minds are polluted by greed, hatred, or delusion. In fact, any action that comes from a mind filled with greed, hatred, or delusion leads to suffering and is thus unskillful or wrong.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
Yoga Sūtra 2.40: śaucāt svāngajugupsā parairasamsargah
— “From purity/cleanliness arises sensitivity to the unclean nature of one’s own body and [physical] unmixing.”
Yoga Sūtra 2.41: sattvaśuddhisaumanasyaikāgreyendriyayātmadarśanayogyatvāni ca
— “[From purity/cleanliness arises] pure wisdom of the heart, cheerfulness of mind, the power of concentration, victory over the senses, and the ability to directly experience our Self.”
According to the Noble Eightfold Path, skillful (or right) understanding, leads to skillful thinking, skillful speech, skillful action, skillful livelihood, skillful effort, skillful mindfulness, and skillful concentration. In the Yoga Philosophy, practicing the 8-limbs will also lead to the ability to think, speak, and act in a way that alleviates suffering. In other words, both practices can be seen as paths to happiness.
Please join me on the virtual mat today (Monday, October 5th) at 5:30 PM for a 75-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom.
This is a 75-minute Common Ground Meditation Center practice that, in the spirit of generosity (dana), is freely given and freely received. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
If you are able to support the center and its teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” my other practices, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible, class purchases are not necessarily.)
There is no playlist for the Common Ground practices.
Yoga Sūtra 2.42: santoşādanuttamah sukhalābhah
— “From contentment comes happiness without equal.”
“(21) Always maintain only a joyful mind.
Constantly apply cheerfulness, if for no other reason than because you are on this spiritual path. Have a sense of gratitude to everything, even difficult emotions, because of their potential to wake you up.”
— from Always Maintain A Joyful Mind: And Other Lojong Teachings on Awaking Compassion and Fearlessness by Pema Chödrön
Format updated, 10/07/2025.
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Be Happy, Now! October 4, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Gratitude, Hope, Life, One Hoop, Philosophy, Religion, Suffering, Sukkot, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: Covid, COVID-19, Deuteronomy, Devarim, Happiness, Sukkot, Tal Ben-Shahar
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“Be joyful at your festival – you and your son, and your daughter, and your manservant, and your maid-servant, and the Levite, and the stranger, and the orphan, and the widow who live within your city.
For seven days you must celebrate the Festival to YHVH*, your God, in the place which YHVH* shall choose, because the Lord, your God, will bless you in all your produce, and in all the work of your hands, and you will only be happy.”
(*NOTE: YHVH is commonly translated as “the Lord” in English.)
— quoted from Devarim – Deuteronomy (16:14 – 15)
In the Torah (and the Christian Old Testament), there are a list of commandments and, mixed into that list, are certain dates the faithful are commanded to observe. We think of them, in the modern context, as “holidays” and they are filled with ritual and tradition. Sometimes the mandate is general and left to interpretation (like when it says in Deuteronomy, “‘… and they shall not appear before the Lord empty: Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the Lord thy God which he hath given thee.’” Other times, however, it is very specific about who, what, when, and even where. Sukkot, the “Festival (or Feast) of the Tabernacles (or Booths)” is one of the times where the details are specific — even when they appear vague.
For seven days, 8 in the diaspora, people within the Jewish community and people who observe the commanded holidays, eat, sleep, socialize, and sometimes work in a temporary shelter. The shelter, a sukkah, consists of three walls of any material and a roof made of natural fiber. (Natural being something grown from the earth.) In this year where the pandemic has created so many obstacles to the ways in which people typically observe and practice their faith here, finally, is a time when there is less challenge. Yes, true, it is still best for people to socially distance, wear masks, wash your hands, and avoid big gatherings — but, it is also best (when gathering) to be outdoors. It’s like Sukkot was tailor-made for this part of 2020.
“1. Give yourself permission to be human.
2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning.”
— quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
One of the significant things about Sukkot is that it is a time for people to come together regardless of their circumstances, gender, religion, or political affiliation. It is a time for all to remember challenges of the past; while also celebrating better days ahead. Another especially noteworthy thing about Sukkot is the symbolism behind the rituals. For instance, one of the points of being outside in the most basic of shelters, exposed to the elements, is to remind people of the time when their ancestors were living in simple, temporary shelters when they were exiled in the desert for 40 years. It is also a good time to remember how much we have — as well as the fact that we could be happy with less. Sukkot is a reminder that life can be full, even when it is simple and bare-boned. It is a time of appreciation and it is also about accepting the present moment.
That last part — accepting the present moment — is easy to overlook. However, the commandment specifically states that the celebration occurs in a place chosen by God. In other words, we might not be where we want to be or where we thought we would be. (Hello, 2020!) This is something I point out every year, but it was especially pointed out to me in 2016, when the creamery, where I held my 2015 Sukkot retreat was no longer available… and again, in 2017, when it was no longer as easy to schedule time in the church where I held the second retreat… and again, in 2019, when the church camp I had planned to use experienced a fire and had to cancel the bulk of their season. And now, here it is 2020… once again, things are not as we planned — despite the fact that CP graciously offered to help me plan this year’s retreat. On the face, it might seem that we are “destined” not to observe this time — and yet, we do, every year… just not necessarily in the place that we thought.
“3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account.
4. Simplify!”
— quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
Many people refer to Sukkot as the “Season of Happiness”, because they view the instructions in the Bible as a mandate to be happy. Since the instruction is to be joyful, or rejoice, about things that have yet to happen — blessings yet to come — one has to wonder: How can we be “independently happy” and celebrate something that hasn’t happened yet? It’s a good question. And, it turns out, there are some really good answers.
Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, an expert in Positive Psychology and the author of Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment and A Clash of Values: The Struggle for Universal Freedom, use to teach a class at Harvard University called “Happiness 101”. In his class and through his research, he offered 6 very practical tips for cultivating happiness. Those tips are featured in the practice during Sukkot (and are highlighted throughout this blog post).
“5. Remember the mind-body connection.”
— quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
Please join me for a 65-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, October 4th) at 2:30 PM. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. PLEASE NOTE: Zoom 5.0 is in effect. If you have not upgraded, you will need to give yourself extra time to log into Zoom. You can always request an audio recording of this practice (or any practice) via email or a comment below.
Today’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Look for “Sukkot 2”)
“6. Express gratitude, whenever possible.”
— quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
Formatting updated, 10/07/2025.
A Joyful Practice 