Knowing & Unknowing, prequel (Sorry, it’s just the music.) October 13, 2020
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“It feels like I should have something momentous to say now that I’ve hit this landmark birthday. There is only this—I feel I’m in the middle of it all. Family, grandkids, work, marriage, good friends, joy, sadness, knowing and unknowing. Hmmm…come to think of it, that is pretty remarkable!”
– my dear friend DB on turning 60 (in an email dated 10/14/2013)
Please join me today (Tuesday, October 13th) at 12 Noon or 7:15 PM for a virtual yoga practice on Zoom, where we will do what we do. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.
### What Do I Know? ###
The Hardest Part of Knowing? Unknowing. October 11, 2020
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“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In stopping to think through the meaning of what I have learned, there is much that I believe intensely, much I am unsure of. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And, the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
– quoted from the “Forward” to You Learn By Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life by Eleanor Roosevelt
“I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt, as quoted in Laurence J. Peter’s Peter’s Quotations: Ideas for Our Time (1972)
Having established that all forms of avidyā (“ignorance” manifesting as misunderstanding the nature of things that are temporal, impure, suffering and different from the Soul, YS 2.5) are the bedrock for afflicted /dysfunctional thought patterns (kleśāh) that lead to suffering (YS 2.3 – 4), Patanjali’s Yoga Sutrās encourages us to really consider how we understand ourselves. Remember, the second type of afflicted /dysfunctional thought patterns is asmitā (“false sense of self”), which comes from the third and fourth types, rāga (“attachment” rooted in pleasure) and dveşa (“aversion,” which is attachment rooted in pain). So, when we initially turn inward, we are faced with the fact that our understanding of who we are is based on ignorance. Once we see this, we have to decide if we are ready to let go of what we once believed (about ourselves and the world) in order to embrace an existence with less suffering.
It seems like a no-brainer, right? Of course, we want less suffering. Of course, we want to be happy! Of course, we’re willing to…. Wait. WHAT?!!? I have to let go of my attachments?!!? I have to publicly appear and conduct myself in a way that is different from the way I have previously presented myself? I have to BE something other than what/who I said I was?
Even if what we are coming to understand about ourselves is more consistent with who we are and who we want to be – even if it is more consistent with our current and/or ideal behavior – we can get stuck (and experience a great deal of suffering in the process) because of that last afflicted /dysfunctional thought pattern: abhiniveśāh (“fear of death/loss”). Sure, we’re familiar with the idea Joseph Campbell expressed by equating letting go of our past with a snake shedding its skin. However the reality is painful. It’s painful now, at a moment when we don’t know what the future holds. One can’t help but wonder, “What if I let go of all the things that ‘bring me comfort and joy’ and I face more suffering?”
In the fog of our avidyā-based thinking, we may not be able to distinguish the difference between letting go of an idea, a person, a job, (or even a hat) and physically dying. It is all one and the same. We see this every day – not only in ourselves, but also in the world around us. From the outside looking in, it may be hard to understand how someone else holds on to something that is so clearly causing suffering (to themselves and others). We may question how someone can be so “ignorant.” We may think they are out of their mind to continue believing things that are so clearly (to us) false. And yet, we don’t always see that we are engaged in the same types of beliefs and behaviors. We don’t always notice that we are holding on, just as tightly, to some things that cause us suffering. Nor do we notice that we too are sometimes willing to struggle, even “fight to the death,” in order to protect our status quo.
Right now, someone is thinking, “Oh, no, what I’m doing is it’s different, because….”
Is it? Is it really?
Or are we, as human beings, just as reluctant to change as the other humans we believe need to change? Bottom line, the thought patterns Patanjali describes (as well as the suffering, obstacles, and ailments that follow) are part of being human. However, being human also includes the abilities to overcome this aspect of our lived experience. In fact, some people would say that overcoming that which separates us and causes suffering is exactly the point of living.
“Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively.”
– quoted from the “Forward” to You Learn By Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life by Eleanor Roosevelt
“When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt, as quoted in Joseph P. Lash’s Eleanor: The Years Alone (1972)
Born today in 1884, in New York City, First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt was an advocate for change. In many ways, she changed the role of the first lady by actively championing civil rights, challenging her husband’s policies (in order to ensure they equally served minority and underserved communities), and even advancing the rights of the disabled by encouraging the political career of her wheelchair bound husband, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. She became the first to hold regular press conferences, speak at a national party convention, and write a daily syndicated newspaper column (“My Day”) as well as a monthly magazine column. She was also the first to host a daily radio show and continue her business and political speaking engagements – all while also being the mother of six children.
FDR served four terms, making Eleanor the longest serving First Lady of the United States. After leaving the White House, she continued her human rights efforts – even serving as a United States’ first Delegate to the United Nations General Assembly (1945 – 1952). She chaired the UN’s Commission on Human Rights; oversaw the drafting of the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights; chaired President John F. Kennedy’s Presidential Commission on the Status of Women; and was called “First Lady of the World” by President Harry S. Truman. At the time, some also considered her the most controversial first lady. Yet, she never let the criticism or detractors slow her down – neither did she let her recognized heritage stop her from bring beauty and truth to the world.
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right — for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be ‘damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.’”
– Eleanor Roosevelt, as quoted in Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1944, 1948)
First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt lived and served during a time of great upheaval and fear. So, like her husband, she is often quoted when people (myself included) are promoting the benefits of being fearless. For instance, she wrote in You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…. You must do what you think you cannot do.” While people can easily relate this concept of fearlessness with external activity, it is perhaps best applied when we turn it towards our inward activity. It’s still scary and challenging, but the benefit to changing how we understand ourselves extends beyond ourselves.
The Second Ecumenical Council of the Vatican, more commonly known as the Second Vatican Council or Vatican II, is a great example of how changing how you understand and identify yourself can be simultaneously challenging and beneficial, even beyond yourself. Opened today in 1962, by Pope John XXIII, the council would entail four sessions and span a little over three years. It “more fully defined the nature of the Church;” changed and expanded the roles of bishops; opened up dialogue with other faith communities; and created an opportunity for Catholics around the world to better understand the teachings of the Church. One of the ways Vatican II opened up understanding within the Church was to refocus the liturgy (so that the Church calendar highlighted the events of the Holy Week, leading up to and including Easter) and to allow for services to be conducted in languages other than Latin. The goal, especially with the streamlining of focus and language options, was to ensure people “take part fully aware of what they are doing, actively engaged in the rite, and enriched by its effects.”
To this day, however, there are Catholics who believe the liturgy and service are not real (and truly sacramental) if they are not in Latin.
Vatican II was attended by four future popes, lay members of the Catholic community, and religious leaders outside of the Catholic Church, including Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel. Rabbi Heschel worked with Cardinal Augustin Bea, the Jesuit head of the Secretariat for the Christian Unity, to dynamical change the way the Church teaches and views Jewish people; foster mutual knowledge and respect among congregants of the two faiths; and to ensure the Church officially (and categorically) condemned anti-Semitism. It sounds all good, right? Yet, the Nostra aetate – which specifically states, “… in her rejection of every persecution against any man, the Church, mindful of the patrimony she shares with the Jews and moved not by political reasons but by the Gospel’s spiritual love, decries hatred, persecutions, displays of anti-Semitism, directed against Jews at any time and by anyone” – was one of the most controversial parts of Vatican II.
It turns out; it’s hard to get rid of your perception of others when it is tied to your convictions on right and wrong – even if correct those misconceptions alleviates suffering.
“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt, quoted from a Voice of America broadcast on November 11, 1951
“We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together and if we are to live together we have to talk.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt, as quoted in Rosalie Maggio’s The Beacon Book of Quotations (1992)
Please join me for a 65-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, October 11th) at 2:30 PM. (Don’t be surprised if today’s practice brings up some fond memories, since a man who once described himself as “careless, thoughtless, godless” was born today 1821.)
You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. PLEASE NOTE: Zoom 5.0 is in effect. If you have not upgraded, you will need to give yourself extra time to log into Zoom. You can always request an audio recording of this practice (or any practice) via email or a comment below.
Today’s playlist is available on YouTube and YouTube.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible, class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
“‘That they all may be one.’ (John 17:21)”
– original motto of the YMCA, established in the “Paris Basis” by the First World Conference of YMCAs in 1855
### “When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it? ER ###
Happiness Redux October 10, 2020
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[My apologies for the delayed posting. You can request an audio recording of Saturday’s practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible, class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for next week’s class schedule.]
“You don’t start by the action; you start by the motivation, and motivation is something that can be cultivated…..
It is the inner quality that you need to cultivate first, and then the expression in speech and action will just naturally follow. The mind is the king. The speech and the activities are the servants. The servants are not going to tell the king how it is going to be. The king has to change, and then the other ones follow up.”
– Matthieu Ricard, speaking about generosity and other mental attitudes in a 2011 Sounds True interview with Tami Simon, entitled “Happiness is a Skill”
During the week of Sukkot, I ended each post with three things for which I am grateful. I regularly express gratitude for at least three things a day. But, let’s be honest; at the end of the day I usually have more than three things on my list.
Just out of curiosity, for what (or whom) are you grateful today?
Really take a moment, to think about it. Make a mental list, a physical list; you can even comment below.
Now that you’ve thought about it and expressed that appreciation, take a moment to notice how you feel.
This whole week of Sukkot, as I’ve talked about gratitude, happiness, ATARAXIA, and positive psychology, I’ve really just been talking about mental health. The Mental Health Foundation, the largest charity in the United Kingdom devoted to mental health, points out that “Good mental health is not simply the absence of diagnosable health problems, although good mental health is likely to protect against development of many such problems.” Like happiness, good mental health is a state of mind (smile) and while we may have different ways of describing or defining the experience, people with good mental health are capable of doing certain things that may not be possible when experiencing mental health issues.
For instance, the ability to learn; the ability to focus/concentrate; the ability to “feel, express, and manage a range of positive and negative emotions;” the ability to cope and manage change and uncertainty; and the ability to form and maintain meaningful relationships can be severely compromised when we do not have good mental health. Another way to look at it is to consider that the siddhis (“powers”) unique to being human are diminished when our mental health is compromised. In fact, ordered the list above (partially adapted from the Mental Health Foundation’s website) to reflect the order of the siddhis“ unique to being human.”
“I dedicate this song to recession,
Depression and unemployment
This song’s for you”
“Smile
See I just want don’t you to be happy
‘Cause then you have to have something you haven’t been
I want you to have joy ’cause can’t nobody
Take that away from you”
– quoted from “I Smile” (on the Hello Fear album) by Kirk Franklin
There are some people in the Jewish Diaspora who celebrate an eighth day (today) of Sukkot. However, there are also people celebrating two more holidays, part of it in their Sukkah. Yes, for forty days some people prep for the High Holidays; spend ten days reflecting, remembering, repenting, and planning for the new year; take a breath; and then dive into a week of happiness; and then spend two more days celebrating their connection to each other and to the lessons of the Torah. It is a time, within the Jewish community, that can have a profound impact on one’s overall mental health. But, that’s not the main reason we’re still doing the “happy dance.”
Today, October 10th, is designated by the World Health Organization (WHO) as World Mental Health Day. In the best of times, one in five adults in the United States experiences mental health issues, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. These issues can range from depression and anxiety to substance abuse and thoughts of harm. Over half of those who acknowledge having had issues in any given year, do not (I repeat, do not) seek treatment. Given, the stigma that can be attached to the conversation of mental health (even when it’s good, but especially when it’s not), there’s a good chance that the percentage of people who experience problems is actually higher than reported.
Not surprisingly, sexual minorities are at a greater risk – as are racial minorities – and treatment in these high risk communities may not be readily accessible. Veterans (of all genders) and men are high risk for suicide or other violent acts, but may not talk about their feelings before they hit a critical point. Additionally, statistics from a 2019 study published in JAMA Pediatrics indicates that half of children with mental health problems (including those experiencing depression, anxiety, and/or attention-deficit or hyperactive disorders) do not receive treatment. Again, part of the disparity in treatment comes from stigma; however, some of it comes from a shortage in providers.
Now, consider for a moment, that all of that (and more) is related to the “best of times.” And, as we all know, 2020, has been less than the best. According to a recent “Mental Illness Awareness Week” article by Sam Romano, 51.5 million American adults reported that they experienced mental health illness within the past year. Additionally, this statistic indicates that there is a steady increase in reported mental health issues (experienced by adults) over the last few years. That’s not surprising; so, you may miss the importance. Look at it this way, a little over 13 million more adults reported experiencing mental health issues in 2019 versus 2008. On the flip side, the population increase in this same time was around 24 million.
As you let that sink in, consider what you are doing for your mental health and the mental health of those around you. Consider what is accessible to you. Remember those siddhis “unique to being human?” Start there: turn inward, use your words, understand yourself,(so you know how to) help yourself be free of three-fold sorrow, cultivate your friendships, and give away what no longer serves you – as well as what you know will serve others.
“If you’re not happy with what you have, you’ll never be happy with what you get.”
– Rabbi Noah Weinberg
Yoga Sūtra 2.42: santoşādanuttamah sukhalābhah
– “From contentment comes happiness without equal.”
In English, we have a tendency to equate “being content” with settling – as if there is something we are missing. In truth, contentment is a state of “peaceful happiness,” meaning there is no desire or craving. Rabbi Noah Weinberg points out, in “Way #27: Happiness” in 48 Ways to Wisdom, that one of the big misconceptions about being content is that it diminishes motivation; when in fact being happy gives us energy. Or, at the very least, it doesn’t sap our energy.
Today’s sūtra highlights the importance of accepting what is and also of paying attention to our attitude about what is. Take a moment to notice how often you get swept up in the various forms of avidyā (“ignorance”). Notice how often we are so caught up in how we think things should work that we don’t pay attention to actual cause and effect. Notice how often negative emotions gain power over our innate abilities of the heart (like wisdom, kindness, compassion, generosity, and joy), because we feed those negative emotions by working so hard to ignore or stuff them down.
Flip the script, turn the tables; feed your heart and the positivity that lies within. You can engage joy without being delusional and creating more suffering. You just have to spend some time being present, right here and right now; accept what is; breathe deeply in, breathe deeply out; and smile.
Is that going to fix every problem in the world? Nope. But, it will help you manage whatever challenges you face.
Today’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also call the TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
### People whose work makes me smile; people whose work makes me think; people whose work makes me wiggle ###
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! October 7, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Gratitude, Hope, Life, One Hoop, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Sukkot, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: Adam Levin, Casey Wakeley Harris, Dalai Lama, Donald T. Campbell, Ethics of the Fathers, Gregorian calendar, Happiness, hedonic adaptation, hedonic set point, hedonic treadmill, Leo Tolstoy, Matthieu Ricard, Philip Brickman, Pirkei Avot, Rabbi Noah Weinberg, Richard Davidson, Russ Flynn, Samuel Nelson Harris, Sukkot, Tenzin Gyatso, X Ambassadors
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“… I’m running out of time
And it’s up to me to try and meet my fate with a smile
And it might sound silly, but I still will try
To be joyful, joyful
Joyful and happy, sunny and bright
To be joyful, joyful
Joyful and happy, just being alive.”
— quoted from “Joyful” by X Ambassadors (written by Samuel Nelson Harris, Casey Wakeley Harris, Adam Levin, Russ Flynn)
In English, we often say that this moment is a gift, that’s why we call it the present. I usually add to that the fact that one’s presence is also a gift. Remember, no one is guaranteed anything more than this moment in time: right here, right now. When you consider that today didn’t even exist for some people back in 1582 — when Italy, Spain, Portugal, France, and places like the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar and, therefore, skipped 10 days (October 5 – 14) — it seems like a good time to ask, “How could I spend my time?” We could even phrase it like one of Leo Tolstoy’s “Three Questions” and ask, “What is the most important thing to do with the time that I’ve been given?”
As I mentioned in July, Tolstoy’s short story confirms that “now” is the most important moment and that the most important thing we can do, in any given moment, is to something good for the person or people around us. What if, however, we are only around ourselves? How can we do our self good? We can very quickly come up with any number of things we can do to “treat” ourselves, but science shows that one of the best things we can do is be happy.
I know, I know, even as we enter the last few days of Sukkot, “The Season of Happiness, “The Season of Happiness”, it can seem a little odd to think about being happy on command. The suggestion (and even this week’s classes and blog posts) can seem especially tone deaf when taken out of the religious context and just viewed through the lens of all the unfortunate and tragic things currently happening around and/or to us. Yet, consider for a moment that even in the midst of despair people experience happiness. Our definitions of happiness may be different — for some it may be an ecstatic kind of joy, for others it is “not being miserable”, and then there is everything in between — but the feeling of well-being, safety, and security is part of being human. Being happy, regardless of your definition, is part of being alive.
“I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering. Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affect this. From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment.”
— Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama in July 2015
Science has shown that our propensity for happiness is based on a cocktail of genetics, personality, and attitude. That mixture of elements combined with our circumstances creates what was referred to by Drs. Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell as a “hedonic treadmill” (or “hedonic adaptation”), whereby as our circumstances change our expectations (and desires) also change — creating a baseline for happiness. Accordingly, research in positive psychology shows that regardless of how extreme an event is (e.g., we win the lottery or experience a debilitating accident) people return to their happiness baseline (or “hedonic set point”) in a relatively short period of time. We just need recover time.
During that recovery time there are, obviously, things that promote good mental, emotional, and physical health. For instance, eating well, sleeping, staying hydrated, and exercise are always recommended. So too is acceptance and gratitude. We may or not feel grateful for what has happened to us, but not being grateful for something is definitely detrimental. Furthermore, science has shown that even thinking about something for which we could be grateful is beneficial.
“So the whole point of that is not, sort of, to make, like, a circus thing of showing exceptional beings who can jump, or whatever. It’s more to say that mind training matters. That this is not just a luxury. This is not a supplementary vitamin for the soul. This is something that’s going to determine the quality of every instant of our lives. We are ready to spend 15 years achieving education. We love to do jogging, fitness. We do all kinds of things to remain beautiful. Yet, we spend surprisingly little time taking care of what matters most – the way our mind functions – which, again, is the ultimate thing that determines the quality of our experience.”
— quoted from a Ted2004 talk entitled “The Habits of Happiness” by Matthieu Ricard
Matthieu Ricard is a French Tibetan Buddhist monk who has served as a translator for the 14th Dalai Lama and has been called “the happiest man in the world”. He is one of the monks whose brain has been observed and studied to learn the clinical benefits of meditation. What researchers have learned about M. Ricard’s brain, however, is about more than just mindfulness. While hooked up to 256 electrodes, the brains of Matthieu Ricard and the other mediators indicated that even adult brains have some neuroplasticity and, therefore, can be changed. The research shows that we can not only change our brains; it shows that in doing so we can change our baseline for happiness.
M. Ricard equates changing one’s baseline for happiness to training for a marathon. It’s about pacing and using the appropriate techniques. In the documentary “A Joyful Mind”, Dr. Richard Davidson, a psychologist and neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin, states that brain scans indicate someone new to meditation can meditate 30 minutes a day over a 2-week period and see a change in brain activity. If you specifically want to change your baseline for happiness, one of the most effective “training techniques” is cultivating benevolent thoughts — like meditating on loving-kindness and compassion (which takes us right back to Tolstoy’s answer of “do that person good”). Another effective method for changing your happiness baseline is giving thanks.
“Western society commonly perceives happiness as the outcome of what you achieve and acquire….
Happiness is not a happening. Happiness is a state of mind. You can have everything in the world and still be miserable. Or you can have relatively little and feel unbounded joy.
The Talmud says:
‘Who is rich? The one who appreciates what he has.’ (Pirkei Avot 4:1)”
— quoted from “Way #27: Happiness” in 48 Ways to Wisdom by Rabbi Noah Weinberg
Please join me today (Wednesday, October 7th) at 4:30 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You will need to register for the 7:15 PM class if you have not already done so. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Look for “Sukkot 3”)
“Misconception #2: ‘If I become content and satisfied with what I have, I’ll lose my motivation to achieve more.’
Happiness doesn’t drain your energy. It adds more!
Ask a happy person: ‘I have a boat. Do you want to go fishing?’
He’ll say: ‘Great! Let’s go!’
Now ask someone who is depressed: ‘C’mon, let’s go fishing!’
He says, ‘I’m tired. Maybe tomorrow. And anyway, it might rain…’
Happy people are energetic and ambitious. There’s never enough time to do everything they want to do.”
— quoted from “Way #27: Happiness” in 48 Ways to Wisdom by Rabbi Noah Weinberg
Format updated and credits added, 10/7/2025.
### today, yesterday, the possibility of tomorrow ###
A (Happy) Fork in the Road October 6, 2020
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“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
– Yogi Berra
“Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.”
– commentary for Happiness tip #2, quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
Throughout Sukkot, I mention Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s “Six Tips for Happiness” and, on any given day, one of the tips really sticks out. For obvious reasons (as we’ll discuss tomorrow), I always highlight his final tip, “Express gratitude, whenever possible.” There is however, another little jewel, tucked in at the beginning, which is easy to gloss over and over look: Tip #2, “Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning.” To figure out what that even means, we have to go a little deeper.
Dr. Ben Shahar is the co-founder of the Happiness Studies Academy (HAS), where you can get a certificate in “Happiness Studies.” At one time, he was a tenure-track professor at Harvard who taught psychology of leadership classes and a class that was referred to as “Happiness 101.” If you are not familiar with this work, let me preface today be saying that Dr. Ben-Shahar and his colleagues are scholars of positive psychology, which is defined as “the scientific study of positive human functioning and flourishing on multiple levels that include the biological, personal, relational, institutional, cultural, and global dimensions of life.” So, basically, it is the interdisciplinary existential science of having a “good life” – whatever that means to you at this moment.
Actually, that last part is a bit tricky, because we humans have a tendency to focus on things in a way that actually makes us unhappy.
“Whoever loves silver will not be sated with silver, and he who loves a multitude without increase-this too is vanity.”
– Kohelet – Ecclesiastes (5:9)
“‘For Epicurus ataraxia was the only true happiness. And how do we achieve it? Not through Plato’s harmony of the soul nor Aristotle’s attainment of reason but simply by the elimination of worry or anxiety. If Epicurus were speaking to you at this moment, he would urge you to simplify life. Here’s how he might put it if he were standing here today….
Lads, your needs are few, they are easily attained, and any necessary suffering can be easily tolerated. Don’t complicate your life with such trivial goals as riches and fame: they are the enemy of ataraxia. Fame, for example, consists of the opinions of others and requires that we must live our life as others wish. To achieve and maintain fame, we must like what others like and shun whatever it is that they shun. Hence, a life of fame or a life in politics? Flee from it. And wealth? Avoid it! It is a trap. The more we acquire the more we crave, and the deeper our sadness when our yearning is not satisfied. Lads, listen to me: If you crave happiness, do not waste your life struggling for that which you really do not need.’”
– the fictionalized Franciscus van den Enden speaking to his students in The Spinoza Problem: A Novel by Dr. Irvin D. Yalom
While scientists focus on what it takes to thrive and flourish, there is also a very definite awareness that people define happiness in different ways and, therefore, the way they approach finding happiness becomes different. Keep in mind that we are still looking at functional/not-afflicted behavior and dysfunctional/afflicted behavior. However, positive psychology emphasizes the functional and does not rigidly define “happiness” – even though the Happiness Studies Academy states that the way in which they define happiness is critical to their mission. It is also critical, as I inferred above, to whether or not we are happy – whatever that means to you in this moment.
For some people, happiness is an ecstatic kind of joy. For others, it is “just not being miserable.” Over the last few days I have mentioned that Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, a Sri Lankan Theravada Buddhist monk, equates happiness to “not suffering” or being free of suffering. Then there is the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche (an October baby), who said:
“Happiness is the feeling that power increases – that resistance is being overcome.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Since I am, all year long, dedicated to “a joyful practice,” every physical practice I lead includes elements of the Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s “Six Tips for Happiness.” It wasn’t my original intention to mirror the good doctor’s research. Instead, I was inspired by yoga sūtra 2.46 (“sthirasukham āsanam”), which is all about finding that balance between effort and relaxation (i.e., power without resistance). But, it just turns out that the six tips are things that really work and make sense (if you take a moment to go deeper). Some of the elements are, of course, very obvious: there’s always emphasis on the mind-body connection and there’s always an opportunity to express gratitude. However, what you may not always realize is how we keep coming back to that “intersection between pleasure and meaning.”
Throughout every practice, I combine things that feel good (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) with the meaning behind why we do what we do the way we do it. Granted, what feels good in my mind-body may not feel good in yours and vice versa, and what feels good today may not feel good tomorrow – which is why the meaning or purpose is so important. It gives each practitioner agency or stewardship over their own practice. So, sometimes I offer the specific anatomical or physiological meaning/purpose of a pose or sequence. Other times I offer the energetic, emotional, and/or spiritual significance of something we are doing.
Usually, the music speaks for itself, but I might highlight a lyric here or there, just in case you missed it. Then too there is the symbolism of the poses, the sequences, and/or – as I mention during Sukkot and other spiritual observations – the symbolism of rituals within various traditions. Finally, there are the stories (and the smiles), which are just another way to mix in an extra dose of pleasure and meaning.
“And it’s up to me to try and meet my fate with a smile”
– quoted from “Joyful” by X Ambassadors
Please join me today (Tuesday, October 6th) at 12 Noon or 7:15 PM for a virtual yoga practice on Zoom, where we will do what we do. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Look for “Sukkot 2”)
Yoga Sūtra 2.18: prakāśkriyāsthitiśīlam bhūtendriyāmakam bhogāpavargārtham dŗśyam
– “The objective world (what is seen), consisted of a combination of elements and senses, and having a nature of illumination, activity, and stability, has two purposes: fulfillment and freedom.”
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Are You Happy Now? (What About Now?) October 5, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Dharma, Faith, Gratitude, Hope, Life, One Hoop, Pema Chodron, Philosophy, Suffering, Sukkot, Vairagya, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: avidyā, Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, Buddha, Buddhism, Happiness, ignorance, lojong, Pema Chödrön, Philosophy, Rabbi Marc Katz, Suffering, Sukkot, Theravada Buddhism, yoga, Yoga Sutra 2.42, Yoga Sutras 2.40-2.41
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“Skillful actions are those that create the causes for happiness, such as actions motivated by loving-friendliness and compassion. Any action that comes from a mind not currently filled with greed, hatred, or delusion brings happiness to the doer and to the receiver. Such an action is, therefore, skillful or right.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
I have heard Dharma teachers say that for all his lists, techniques, and stories, the Buddha only taught (about) two things: suffering and the end of suffering. Just like in the yoga philosophy, Buddhism focuses on the root causes of suffering in order to identify what thoughts, words, and deeds cause the end of suffering. And, in both philosophies, everything begins with understanding/knowledge. The bottom line (in both philosophies) is that avidyā (ignorance or false understanding) leads to desire/attachment which in turns causes suffering. If we can eliminate the ignorance, we can eliminate the suffering. So, ultimately, each philosophy is a path to understanding cause and effect in order to end suffering by eradicating ignorance.
The question is: What is the end of suffering?
Bhante Henepola Gunaratana is a Sri Lankan Theravada Buddhist who has lead retreats around the world and taught graduate level courses at American University, Georgetown University, Bucknell University, and the University of Maryland, College Park. In addition to writing about mindfulness “in plain English”, he identifies the end of suffering as “happiness”; thereby making the Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path “Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness”.
“The Buddha pointed to ten actions that are always unskillful because they inevitably cause suffering. Three are actions of the body: killing, stealing, and sexual misconduct. Four are actions of speech: lying, malicious words, harsh language, and useless talk. The last three are actions of the mind: covetousness, ill will, and wrong view of the nature of reality….
Before we can begin to practice the Buddha’s path, however, we need enough basic understanding to see that these ten actions are unskillful because they inevitably bring deep suffering both to the doers and the recipients.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
Right at the beginning of Sukkot, which some refer to as the “Season of Happiness”, Rabbi Marc Katz asked his synagogue a question which really resonated with me. He asked, “What is something you are holding on to that, in fact, would be better understood as impermanent?” Now, this question really resonated with me for a number of reasons — with the primary reason being that it hones in on some key points related to avidyā. First, it highlights our attachment to ignorance/delusion. Second, it brought to mind the fact that in the philosophy of Yoga the very first example of avidyā is the belief that something impermanent is permanent.
It seems to me that Patanjali was just as fond of lists as the Buddha. So, I’ll point out here that mistaking the nature of things is only the first example of avidyā. The belief that something impure is pure, that something which causes suffering will cause happiness, and that the experience of something related to the self is the (whole essence) of the Self are all identified in yoga sūtra 2.5 as avidyā. And, don’t forget, that avidyā (ignorance) is not only the first afflicted/dysfunctional thought pattern (klişţa) which leads to suffering, it is the bedrock for the other four afflicted/dysfunctional thought patterns which lead to suffering: false sense of self, attachment, aversion, and fear of loss/death.
“Moreover, people engage in such misdeeds only when their understanding is faulty and their minds are polluted by greed, hatred, or delusion. In fact, any action that comes from a mind filled with greed, hatred, or delusion leads to suffering and is thus unskillful or wrong.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
Yoga Sūtra 2.40: śaucāt svāngajugupsā parairasamsargah
— “From purity/cleanliness arises sensitivity to the unclean nature of one’s own body and [physical] unmixing.”
Yoga Sūtra 2.41: sattvaśuddhisaumanasyaikāgreyendriyayātmadarśanayogyatvāni ca
— “[From purity/cleanliness arises] pure wisdom of the heart, cheerfulness of mind, the power of concentration, victory over the senses, and the ability to directly experience our Self.”
According to the Noble Eightfold Path, skillful (or right) understanding, leads to skillful thinking, skillful speech, skillful action, skillful livelihood, skillful effort, skillful mindfulness, and skillful concentration. In the Yoga Philosophy, practicing the 8-limbs will also lead to the ability to think, speak, and act in a way that alleviates suffering. In other words, both practices can be seen as paths to happiness.
Please join me on the virtual mat today (Monday, October 5th) at 5:30 PM for a 75-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom.
This is a 75-minute Common Ground Meditation Center practice that, in the spirit of generosity (dana), is freely given and freely received. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
If you are able to support the center and its teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” my other practices, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible, class purchases are not necessarily.)
There is no playlist for the Common Ground practices.
Yoga Sūtra 2.42: santoşādanuttamah sukhalābhah
— “From contentment comes happiness without equal.”
“(21) Always maintain only a joyful mind.
Constantly apply cheerfulness, if for no other reason than because you are on this spiritual path. Have a sense of gratitude to everything, even difficult emotions, because of their potential to wake you up.”
— from Always Maintain A Joyful Mind: And Other Lojong Teachings on Awaking Compassion and Fearlessness by Pema Chödrön
Format updated, 10/07/2025.
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Be Happy, Now! October 4, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Gratitude, Hope, Life, One Hoop, Philosophy, Religion, Suffering, Sukkot, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: Covid, COVID-19, Deuteronomy, Devarim, Happiness, Sukkot, Tal Ben-Shahar
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“Be joyful at your festival – you and your son, and your daughter, and your manservant, and your maid-servant, and the Levite, and the stranger, and the orphan, and the widow who live within your city.
For seven days you must celebrate the Festival to YHVH*, your God, in the place which YHVH* shall choose, because the Lord, your God, will bless you in all your produce, and in all the work of your hands, and you will only be happy.”
(*NOTE: YHVH is commonly translated as “the Lord” in English.)
— quoted from Devarim – Deuteronomy (16:14 – 15)
In the Torah (and the Christian Old Testament), there are a list of commandments and, mixed into that list, are certain dates the faithful are commanded to observe. We think of them, in the modern context, as “holidays” and they are filled with ritual and tradition. Sometimes the mandate is general and left to interpretation (like when it says in Deuteronomy, “‘… and they shall not appear before the Lord empty: Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the Lord thy God which he hath given thee.’” Other times, however, it is very specific about who, what, when, and even where. Sukkot, the “Festival (or Feast) of the Tabernacles (or Booths)” is one of the times where the details are specific — even when they appear vague.
For seven days, 8 in the diaspora, people within the Jewish community and people who observe the commanded holidays, eat, sleep, socialize, and sometimes work in a temporary shelter. The shelter, a sukkah, consists of three walls of any material and a roof made of natural fiber. (Natural being something grown from the earth.) In this year where the pandemic has created so many obstacles to the ways in which people typically observe and practice their faith here, finally, is a time when there is less challenge. Yes, true, it is still best for people to socially distance, wear masks, wash your hands, and avoid big gatherings — but, it is also best (when gathering) to be outdoors. It’s like Sukkot was tailor-made for this part of 2020.
“1. Give yourself permission to be human.
2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning.”
— quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
One of the significant things about Sukkot is that it is a time for people to come together regardless of their circumstances, gender, religion, or political affiliation. It is a time for all to remember challenges of the past; while also celebrating better days ahead. Another especially noteworthy thing about Sukkot is the symbolism behind the rituals. For instance, one of the points of being outside in the most basic of shelters, exposed to the elements, is to remind people of the time when their ancestors were living in simple, temporary shelters when they were exiled in the desert for 40 years. It is also a good time to remember how much we have — as well as the fact that we could be happy with less. Sukkot is a reminder that life can be full, even when it is simple and bare-boned. It is a time of appreciation and it is also about accepting the present moment.
That last part — accepting the present moment — is easy to overlook. However, the commandment specifically states that the celebration occurs in a place chosen by God. In other words, we might not be where we want to be or where we thought we would be. (Hello, 2020!) This is something I point out every year, but it was especially pointed out to me in 2016, when the creamery, where I held my 2015 Sukkot retreat was no longer available… and again, in 2017, when it was no longer as easy to schedule time in the church where I held the second retreat… and again, in 2019, when the church camp I had planned to use experienced a fire and had to cancel the bulk of their season. And now, here it is 2020… once again, things are not as we planned — despite the fact that CP graciously offered to help me plan this year’s retreat. On the face, it might seem that we are “destined” not to observe this time — and yet, we do, every year… just not necessarily in the place that we thought.
“3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account.
4. Simplify!”
— quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
Many people refer to Sukkot as the “Season of Happiness”, because they view the instructions in the Bible as a mandate to be happy. Since the instruction is to be joyful, or rejoice, about things that have yet to happen — blessings yet to come — one has to wonder: How can we be “independently happy” and celebrate something that hasn’t happened yet? It’s a good question. And, it turns out, there are some really good answers.
Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, an expert in Positive Psychology and the author of Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment and A Clash of Values: The Struggle for Universal Freedom, use to teach a class at Harvard University called “Happiness 101”. In his class and through his research, he offered 6 very practical tips for cultivating happiness. Those tips are featured in the practice during Sukkot (and are highlighted throughout this blog post).
“5. Remember the mind-body connection.”
— quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
Please join me for a 65-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, October 4th) at 2:30 PM. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. PLEASE NOTE: Zoom 5.0 is in effect. If you have not upgraded, you will need to give yourself extra time to log into Zoom. You can always request an audio recording of this practice (or any practice) via email or a comment below.
Today’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Look for “Sukkot 2”)
“6. Express gratitude, whenever possible.”
— quoted from the Psychology 1504 (“Positive Psychology”) course by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
Formatting updated, 10/07/2025.
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Consider Being In the Stream September 30, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Uncategorized.2 comments
“Yin and Yang
Hidden in the mystery of the Tao
lies the original unity.
This unity contains the duality
of yin and yang.
Yin and yang together
produce the energy of creation
and give rise to all things.
Every atom of the cosmos
contains the yin and yang together.
We feel this harmonious process
In the rising and falling of the breath.”
– (42) quoted from A Path and A Practice: Using Lao-tzu’s Tao Te Ching as a Guide to an Awakened Spiritual Life by William Martin
“When the mind lacks any hindrances, it automatically becomes bright, luminous, and clear. Such a mind is receptive to the development of wholesome states; to concentration, and to the ability to see clearly into the impermanent nature of things.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepole Gunaratana
Yoga Sutra 1.34: pracchardanavidhāraņābhyām vā prāņasya
– “The mind can be calmed by regulating the breath, especially with emphasis on the exhalation and the natural stilling of breath [retention that comes with the practice].”
Ever notice when the inhale becomes the exhale, when the exhale becomes the inhale? I don’t just mean on the mat or on the cushion. I mean, do you notice the beginning of the end (or the ending that is the beginning) in your day to day life? It’s kind of like trying to unpack why we react or respond to certain things/people in certain ways and/or where an idea begins, really begins. It’s also like trying to figure out where something went horribly wrong.
“Life is like stepping into a boat that is about to sail out to sea and sink.”
– Shunryu Suzuki Roshi
Sometimes we miss the moment when we actually start to sink, slip, get pushed off center, and/or the moment when our buttons get pushed. Even when we are in the middle of a volatile situation – and we recognize it as such – we may think, “I’m handling this so well. I got this! Look at me behaving like a grown-up and using my words (instead of fisticuffs).” And that right there is the moment we miss. That right there is the moment we actually start to slip or sink, because, more often than not we miss the little slips that mark the beginning of our fall. Instead, we focus on what happens when all the little things come together to make the big thing. We continue on our merry way, without regard for the fact that we have already started moving in the wrong direction.
Contemplative and mindfulness-based practices help in cultivating awareness. We can develop awareness so that we start to notice the little slips and we can also develop awareness around the fact that we are on a slippery slope or have somehow lost traction. One of the best things about the practices, however, is that they can also give us tools to regain traction. These tools are the opposites of what you think – and I mean that quite literally.
Yoga Sūtra 2.33: vitarkabādhane pratipakşabhāvanam
— “When troublesome thoughts prevent the practice (of yamās and niyamās), cultivate the opposite thoughts.”
As mentioned in earlier posts, the yoga philosophy, details five afflicted thought patterns (ignorance, false sense of self, attachment, aversion, and fear of loss/death), which lead to and/or feed nine obstacles to the practice and to life (disease, mental inertia, doubt, carelessness, sloth, an inability to withdraw from sense craving, clinging to misunderstandings, frustration [from failing to reach a goal], and the [frustration] inability to maintain a clear and present mind). The nine obstacles produce five debilitating conditions (physical pain, mental agitation, unsteadiness or trembling of limbs, abnormal inhalation, and abnormal exhalation) which feed into the five afflicted thoughts and the nine obstacles. It can be a continuous feedback loop – or, more appropriately, it’s the endless cycle of karma.
We don’t always see the beginning of the cycle when we are in the middle of it, neither do see the beginning (or end) of the circle when it is already completed. So, in the Yoga Sūtras, Patanjali offers ways to work the mind and one of those ways is by cultivating the opposites. A similar practice is found in Buddhism, where the five hindrances, also considered obstacles to practice and to life, are defined as sensory desire or greed; ill will; dullness and drowsiness; restlessness and worry; and doubt). Notice the overlap, not only in the impediments (or stumbling blocks), but take a moment to notice that the Buddha also encourages the cultivation and awareness of opposites that is mentioned in the Tao te Ching and the Yoga Sūtras.
“The Buddha taught a four-step approach to working with the mind. You should apply Skillful Effort to:
-
prevent negative states of mind
-
overcome negative states of mind
-
cultivate positive states of mind
-
maintain positive states of mind”
“…sometimes people say that spiritual growth takes ‘effortless effort.’ I’m sorry to disillusion you, friend, but there is no effortless effort. Effort must be balanced.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepole Gunaratana
Another parallel in the practices is the emphasis on the work/effort (karma) required to reach a pristine, clear mind and to tap into our intuitive wisdom. For example, the Taoist concept wu-wei is usually translated as “effortless effort,” but some commentators (and even the Tao itself) highlight the effort. You could even explain the practice as just “doing what we do,” but with awareness – and that awareness allows us to find the way of progressing with the least amount of resistance. It’s kind of like having a certain body type; even if you are born with your desired genes and physique, even if you are born with certain talents and/or have a propensity for certain skills, effort goes into the maintenance of your mind-body and skills. Some things may be easier for some people (at certain times), but they still require effort.
When we overlook the effort that unintentionally produced our current circumstances, we may find ourselves overwhelmed by the effort to change course. The teachings dispel the misconception that something magical happens which enables some people to “keep calm” or to avoid snake-bit situations and focuses instead on the action of actively keeping calm and actively avoiding situations that seem to get worse the more we do. When we become more aware of cause and effect, we can be more conscious about how we work our way towards a desired situation or outcome.
“You must remember that it is not some other person or some difficult situation that is causing your problems. It is your own past conditioning.”
— quoted from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Bhante Henepole Gunaratana
Please join me today (Wednesday, September 30th) at 4:30 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You will need to register for the 7:15 PM class if you have not already done so. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Today’s playlist is dated 07192020 “Compassion & Peace (J’Accuse!)”)
This come to mind, and it turns out the message fits.
### FIRST, FIND THE FLOW… THEN GO ###
A Joyful Practice 