Anger and the Importance of Having “Treats” Before You Speak (a post-practice Monday post) February 12, 2024
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Art, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Daoism, Faith, Food, Healing Stories, Lent / Great Lent, Life, Movies, Music, New Year, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Pema Chodron, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Suffering, Super Heroes, Wisdom, Writing, Yin Yoga, Yoga.Tags: Abraham Lincoln, anger, Carnival, Chandraghanta, Charles Darwin, Clean Monday, Durga, Fugitive Slave Act, Gupta Navaratri, Hongjun Lozu, Jan Swammerdam, Judy Blume, Kristen Anderson, Lunar New Year, Lundi Gras, mental health, Navaratri, Nian, Parvati, Season for Nonviolence, Season of Non-violence, shenpa, Shrove Monday, Shrovetide, Ted Hammond, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thich Nhat Hanh, Who HQ, Year of the Dragon, Yoga Sutra 1.35
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“Happy (Lunar) New Year!” and/or “Happy Carnival!” to those who are already celebrating! Many blessings to anyone preparing for Lent on Shrove Monday / Lundi Gras. “Nine days and nine nights of blessings and happiness if you are celebrating Gupta (Magha) Navaratri!” Peace and ease for all throughout this “Season for Nonviolence,” and in all other seasons!!!
This is the post–practice post for Monday, February 12th. It is a compilation post with some new content and some previously posted content. Some links and date-specific information has been updated. You can request an audio recording of either practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.)
“Anger is a mental, psychological phenomenon, yet it is closely linked to biological and biochemical elements. Anger makes you tense your muscles, but when you know how to smile, you begin to relax and your anger will decrease. Smiling allows the energy of mindfulness to be born in you, helping you to embrace your anger.”
— quoted from “Two – Putting Out the Fire of Anger: Tools for Cooling the Flames” in Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
Born today in 1637, the Dutch biologist and microscopist Jan Swammerdam probably could have told us which muscles engage and which muscles relax when we smile versus when we frown. He studied muscle contractions; is recognized as the first person to observe and describe red blood cells; and also recognized as one of the first people (in Western science) to use a microscope in dissection. Like Charles Darwin, who was born today in 1809, Dr. Swammerdam had some controversial ideas about the origins of things — specifically about the origins of insects.
Even though he considered himself a man of faith, his ideas about insects were not compatible with the religious beliefs of his father and the community around them. For instance, the idea that God would create everything except insects just didn’t make sense to him. So, he combined his knowledge of human anatomy and development with his fascination about insects and studied egg, larva, pupa, and adult insects — and came to a conclusion that really angered people at the time. He concluded that they were all the same animal in different phases of life.
Jan Swammerdam’s ideas may not seem groundbreaking or revolutionary today; but consider that we all have our own ideas about metamorphosis. For example, artistic depictions of people changing because of strong emotions may reflection modern (especially Western) ideas about emotion; but we must remember that each person is still themselves, just in different forms. In other words, the Hulk is still Bruce Banner, She-Hulk is still Jennifer “Jen” Walters, and the Red Panda is still Meilin “Mei” Lee. Furthermore, it is important to remember that anger and frustration, fear, grief, worry, and anxiety are all normal human emotions. In fact, many Eastern philosophies, like Yoga and Taoism, consider everything — including our emotions — as manifestations of energy.
“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.”
— quoted from Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume (b. 02/12/1938)
The aforementioned philosophies (and their corresponding sciences) view energy as being in or out of balance, stagnate or circulating. Since energy that is in balance and flowing appropriately is still the same energy, simply manifesting in a different way, every emotion has a near-peer and an opposite. In fact, we are often encouraged to cultivate the opposite(s) in order to flip or change the energy. For instance, the flip side of anger and frustration is kindness. So, if you are feeling angry or frustrated, doing something loving and kind — for yourself and/or someone else — can change the dynamic inside of you and all around you.
According to Patanjali’s Yoga Sūtras, when someone is “firmly grounded in non-injury (ahimsa), other people who come near will naturally lose any feelings of hostility.” (YS 1.35) That sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Well, full disclosure, I am not there yet. Sometimes my buttons get pushed and despite staying mindful and practicing the four R’s and other mindfulness-based techniques, I think, say, or do something that contributes to someone’s suffering. Sometimes, I am the “someone” and everyone else just goes about their business. But, sometimes my actions contribute to the suffering of someone other than myself. In fact, it happened today (Monday, February 12th). While I paused, took a breath, and thought before I spoke, I did not consider that today was the third day of the Lunar New Year — a day when some people avoid interacting with others in order to avoid conflict.
“恭禧发财
Gong Xi Fa Cai [Congratulations and Prosperity!]
Gong Hey Fat Choy [Congratulations and Prosperity!]
— A common New Year’s greeting in Hanzi [Chinese characters], Mandarin and Cantonese pīnyīn [“spelled sounds”], and English
According to some Chinese creation mythology the third day of the Lunar New Year is the birthday of all boars. As I mentioned yesterday, some people will spend this third day of the Year of the Dragon visiting the temple of the God of Wealth. Others associate this day with the “marriage of mice” and — in addition to providing treats as a “dowry” for the mice — they will go to bed early to ensure the mice have a peaceful ceremony. This tradition is based on the idea that if the mice have a peaceful ceremony, they will not pester humans during the rest of the year. In Vietnam, this third day is a day to honor teachers.
Another reason people may go to bed early on the third night of the Lunar New Year is that, in certain parts of China, this third day is the “Day of the Red Dog” or “Red Mouth” Day and there is a greater danger of conflict on this day. Since a Chinese word for “red dog” is also a description for the “God of Blazing Wrath,” some people may also stay home and avoid anyone outside of their primary family circle in order not to say the wrong thing in anger. Some people also associate the tendency to say the wrong thing on the third day with the demon (or monster) Nian.
The Hanzi (Chinese character) for Nian also means “year” or “new year.” According to the legends, the monster Nian would come out of the sea or the mountain once a year looking for crops, animals, or villagers to eat. All the villagers would hide at this time of year, but one time an elderly gentleman was outside during the time Nian came to visit the village. One version of the story indicates that the man was a Taoist monk (Hongjun Lozu) who, like Br’er Rabbit, was a bit of a trickster. He somehow convinced the monster that the mand would taste better if he could take off his outer clothing. In the version I often tell in class, there is a big chase and the monster rips the man’s outerwear with his sharp teeth and claws. Either way, when the gentleman’s bright red undergarments are revealed Nian freaks out, because he is afraid of the color red (and of loud noises). Therefore, it became auspicious to start the New Year (or even a marriage) wearing red; placing red throughout the village or town; and making a lot of noise.
If I had thought about it being the “Red Mouth” Day at the beginning of my day, I might have saved myself (and others) a little suffering, by spending my time giving myself a little treat. Most people have go-to foods and/or beverages that could be considered their comfort food. However, sometimes the best “treat” is found on the mat or on the cushion. Just taking some time to sit and breathe can be loving and kind. For that matter, sometimes the “treat” can be found in the pews.
“Anger is like a howling baby, suffering and crying. The baby needs his mother to embrace him. You are the mother for your baby, your anger. The moment you begin to practice breathing mindfully in and out, you have the energy of a mother, to cradle and embrace the baby. Just embracing your anger, just breathing in and breathing out, that is good enough. The baby will feel relief right away.”
— quoted from “Two – Putting Out the Fire of Anger: Embracing Anger with the Sunshine of Mindfulness” in Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
In the Western Christian tradition, the Monday before Lent may be known as Shrove Monday by people already focusing on “shriving.” Shrovetide, which includes the three weeks before Lent, is a period of self-examination, repentance, and amendments of sins. Similarly, in Eastern Orthodox traditions which use a different calendar, the Monday before Lent is sometimes referred to as Clean Monday.
On the flipside, some people will spend this same period of time — anything from three weeks to two or three days — focusing on indulging in the things they are planning to give up during Lent. For instance, the Monday before Lent is also the last Monday of Carnival. In places like New Orleans and other parts of the Gulf Coast, it is also known as Lundi Gras (“Fat Monday”). Rose Monday, Merry Monday, and Hall Monday are also names associated with pre-Lenten festivities around the world. In parts of the United Kingdom, people may refer to this day as Collap Monday, because their traditional breakfast will include collaps (leftover slabs of meat, like bacon) and eggs. In east Cornwall, however, people traditionally eat pea soup and, therefore, call today Peasen (or Paisen) Monday.
Even though people prepare for and observe the Lenten season in different ways, it is all about getting ready for a change.
“Because some changes happen deep down inside of you. And the truth is, only you know about them. Maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
— quoted from Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
In addition to being the third day of the Lunar New Year and Lundi Gras, today was also the third day/night of Navaratri, the “nine nights” dedicated to celebrating divine feminine energy in various manifestations. The third manifestation of Durga, the divine mother, is Chandraghanta, whose name “one who has a half-moon shaped like a bell” comes from the image of the newly-wed Parvati. She is depicted as a combination of beauty, grace, and courage, with her third eye open — so that she is always ready to fight evil and demons. In fact, she is sometimes known as the “Goddess Who Fights Demons.”
If one considers “demons” to be a metaphor, then it makes sense that some people have depicted Abraham Lincoln (born today in 1890) as someone who fought demons. He and Charles Darwin were both born on the anniversary of the day President George Washington signed the Fugitive Slave Act of 1793. In addition to sharing a birthday, they also both pushed a lot of people’s buttons. Darwin’s work led to debates, parlor arguments, and trials. Lincoln’s work led to the end of things like the Fugitive Slave Act and, unfortunately, to his assassination. All of this is to say that while we can get upset about things that are not important, people can also get angry or frustrated over things that make a real difference in world.
Consider that Judy Blume (who was born today in 1938) has written books that often get banned and that have also changed people’s lives — in the best possible way. She writes about topics people often find hard for to discuss, including: racism, gender, menstruation, divorce, bullying, masturbation, sex and sexuality, and emotions like anger, fear, and grief. To some people, the worst part is not only that she has tackled these issues in her books; it’s that most of her books are intended for children and young adults. And, let’s be honest, nothing pushes people’s buttons like someone talking about things they are uncomfortable discussing. While we can say that there are some things better left unsaid, there are also things that need to be said — just in a skillful manner and… while treating ourselves and others with lovingkindness.
“My only advice is to stay aware, listen carefully, and yell for help if you need it.”
— Judy Blume, as quoted in “Starring Judy Blume as Herself” in Who is Judy Blume by Kristen Anderson, Who HQ, Ted Hammond (illustrator)
There is no playlist for the Common Ground Meditation Center practices.
SIDEBAR: Last year, when I posted the first half of the special Black History notes, I actually posted following two (2) posts related to February 12th:
### TAP INTO THE POWER OF YOUR CREATIVITY ###
Leadership & Kriya Yoga (the “missing” Monday post) February 21, 2023
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Baha'i, Changing Perspectives, Dharma, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Faith, Food, Gandhi, Healing Stories, Hope, Karma, Lent / Great Lent, Life, Mysticism, One Hoop, Passover, Philosophy, Ramadan, Religion, Wisdom, Yoga, Yom Kippur.Tags: Avishai Cohen, Clean Monday, Daisy Bates, Jack Hawley, kriya yoga, kriyā yoga, Lundi Gras, Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, President's Day, Presidents' Day, Sadhguru, Season for Nonviolence, Season of Non-violence, Shrove Monday, Shrovetide, The Second Book of Chronicles, Washington's Birthday
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Many blessings to to anyone preparing for Lent. Peace and ease to all during this “Season for Non-violence” and all other seasons!
This is the “missing” post for Monday, February 20th. Some elements of this post appeared in a different context, which you can click here to review. You can request a recording of either practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
Check the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming practices.
“There comes a time when we should be together
United in our fight to make things better.
Our world is here,
But will not be forever,
Depending on our will to change [the] matter.”
“This is a song of hope.”
– quoted the song “Song of Hope” by Avishai Cohen
During the Season for Non-violence (January 30th – April 4th), the Mahatma Gandhi Canadian Foundation for World Peace offers daily themes or elements for contemplation, which are derived from the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi and the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and the theme for February 20th is “mission.” We can think of a mission the way some people think of a goal or desire, we can think of it as a calling – or, in the sense of the Yoga Philosophy, we can think of it as sva-dharma (“one’s personal duty in life”), which can also be called one’s personal law). No matter how we view it, the Bhagavad Gita indicates that we all have such a role – which means we all have a mission.
The Bhagavad Gita is set during a lull in battle during a great civil war. Arjuna is a prince and military leader on one side of the battle. As others magically look on, he stands in the middle of the battlefield and has a crisis of faith. He looks at his family and friends on both sides of the battlefield and he “loses his resolve.” He questions why he is fighting and what will be resolved. He shares with his best friend and charioteer that he is filled with an amalgamation of emotions, including the possibility of shame and unhappiness if he were to kill his own friends and family. As Arjuna shares his deepest worries and fears, his friend and charioteer (Krishna) reveals himself as an avatar of God and then emphasizes the importance of doing what’s right even when it (and everything else) seems wrong.
Krishna outlines several different methods by which one can live a “truth-based life” and experience ultimate fulfilment (which, spoiler alert, has nothing to do with the spoils of battle). He is very clear that there are different methods or paths for different people and (sometimes) for different situations, but that all paths ultimately lead to the Divine and to self-realization. One of the big takeaways from his explanation is that everyone has a role to play in society.
“‘Your very nature dictates that you perform the duties attuned to your disposition. Those duties are your dharma, your natural calling. It is far better to do your own dharma, even if you do it imperfectly, than to try to master the work of another. Those who perform the duties called for by their obligations, even if those duties seem of little merit, are able to do them with less effort – and this releases consciousness that can be directed Godward.”
– Krishna speaking to Arjuna (18.47) in The Bhagavad Gita: A Walkthrough for Westerners by Jack Hawley
As Krishna explains in Chapter 18 people’s different personalities play a part in determining their different roles and duties. In very general (but explicit) terms, he describes “Seers, Leaders, Providers, and Servers.” He also emphasizes that “No particular group of people is superior to any other, but like limbs of the body, each has a respective role to play.” (BG 18.41) The descriptions are clear enough that we can easily identify ourselves and also recognize that there are times when we are called to serve more than one role.
For example, a professional teacher could be described as a seer and/or a leader. But, even if someone is not a professional teacher, the way they live their life sets an example. The way any of us lives our lives teaches others – especially younger generations – how to love, how to care for each other, how to stand up for what’s right, and how to do the right thing… even when it is hard. In this way, we are all leaders.
“‘Consider them one by one. Society’s Seers are the holy ones (in some societies referred to as Brahmins). Seers are expected to establish the character and spiritual underpinnings of society. Their duties are generally of pure, unmixed sattva and are therefore congenial to a person of sattvic nature. This is what is meant by the term “born of their own nature.” Providing spiritual and moral leadership is generally “natural” to Seers.
‘Seers must have spiritual knowledge and wisdom – knowledge of God-realization obtained through devout study – and wisdom beyond knowledge, acquired through direct experience of the Atma. Seers must have purity of heart, mind, and body; and allow no perversity or corruption to creep in. They must possess serenity, calmness, forbearance, forgiveness, and patience – and hold to an unwavering faith in the divinity of all life. The primary purpose of the Seers is to help transform society’s exemplary human beings into godly beings.
‘The primary objective of society’s Leaders is to help transform ordinary human beings into exemplary human beings. The Leaders (referred to as Kshatriyas) are expected to guard the welfare and prosperity of society by serving the people. They are charged with bringing moral stamina and adherence to duty through courage, fearlessness, resourcefulness, and ingenuity in the face of changing conditions. They must be examples of law, justice, and generosity. They must lead by inspiring the populace through good example and yet be ready to enforce their authority.
‘Both groups are strong in their own ways. The strength of the Leaders lies in their courage; the strength of the Seers lies in their spiritual glow.’”
– Krishna speaking to Arjuna (18.42 – 18.43) in The Bhagavad Gita: A Walkthrough for Westerners by Jack Hawley
In the United States, the third Monday in February is a federal holiday intended to honor the country’s highest leader, the president. Officially designated by the federal government as “Washington’s Birthday,” it was named to honor George Washington (born Feb 22, 1732), who served as a general during the American Revolution and was the newly-formed country’s first president. It is also known, federally (but not officially), as “Presidents’ Day,” to honor all U. S. presidents. Some states call it “President’s Day” (singular) or some combination of “Washington and Lincoln’s Day” (since Abraham Lincoln played a prominent role in shaping the United States and also had a February birthday). In Alabama this Monday is called “George Washington/Thomas Jefferson Birthday” (even though the latter of whom was born April 12, 1743) and in Arkansas it is “George Washington’s Birthday and Daisy Bates Day” (the latter of whom was not a president; but, rather a Civil Rights activist, born in Arkansas on November 11, 1914). Many states also have other president-related celebrations at throughout the year; however, Delaware does not observe a Presidents Day at all, while New Mexico, Georgia, and Indiana have celebrations around Thanksgiving or Christmas.
In some ways, this holiday has fallen into the same trap as other federal holidays: it’s become a paid day off for federal employees, a three-day weekend, and a weekend for sales. That’s it. However, it can still be a day to reflect on what it takes to be a great leader and, maybe, even a great leader who is also a great seer. It could also be a great day to consider what kind of effort it would take for a great leader to be a wonderful human being – if that’s even a thing in our modern society.
“The literal meaning kriya is “verb.” Every verb is representative of a distinct process or function and no process of function reaches fruition without a doer.”
– quoted from the commentary on Yoga Sūtra 2.1 from The Practice of the Yoga Sūtra: Sadhana Pada by Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, PhD
Over the last couple of days, I have mentioned a suggestion Sadhguru offered people celebrating Maha Shivaratri. The founder of the Isha Foundation suggested that people write down three things that would make them a wonderful human being and then to put those three things into action. Of course, action is a big deal in the Indian philosophies and their corresponding sacred texts.
There are two Sanskrit words that can be translated into English as “work” or “effort,” and which both apply to our thoughts, words, and deeds/actions. The first word is kriyā and the second word is karma. Most English speakers are familiar with the word karma (or kamma in Pali). Even if they are not 100% certain about the meaning, they understand the general concept of cause-and-effect. What they may miss is that karma is the effect or consequence, while kriyā is the cause. Kriyā is an ongoing process and also the steps within the process; it is active. You could also think of karma as fate and kriyā as destiny; where the former is unchangeable and the latter is the journey to your destination.
Another perspective is to think about karma as an intention. Classically, when we talk about karma, we talk about planting seeds and things coming into fruition. So, one way to think of it is that we plant seeds that already have within them the image of the final product and kriyā is what we do to nurture and harvest what’s been planted – and/or what we do when we need to uproot the poisonous weeds.
Some traditions specifically use kriyā in relation to internal action or work and speak of karma when referring to external work. In some ways, this dovetails with Yoga Sūtra 2.1, which defines kriyā yoga (“union in action”) as a combination of the final three niyamas (internal “observations”): discipline/austerity, self-study, and trustful surrender to a higher power (other than one’s self). In this context, kriyā yoga* is a purification ritual. It is an opportunity to let go of what no longer serves us and move with more strength, focus, and determination.
Of course, we all have different rituals and traditions.
Just as we all may describe the attributes of a leader, a seer, and/or a wonderful human being in different ways, the work needed to reach that potential is going to be different for everyone. However, the basic structure of Patanjaliʼs kriyā yoga remains the same and there are several religious and philosophical observations that can fit within this rubric, including Yom Kippur and Passover, the Baháʼí 19-Day Fast, and the holy month of Ramaḍān. Lent, for which people are currently preparing, can also be considered a form of kriyā yoga.
“Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people….”
– quoted from King Solomon’s request in The Second Book of the Chronicles 1:10 (NIV)
In the Western Christian tradition, the Monday before Lent may be known as Shrove Monday by people already focusing on “shriving.” Shrovetide, which includes the three weeks before Lent, is a period of self-examination, repentance, and amendments of sins. Similarly, in Eastern Orthodox traditions, which use a different calendar, the Monday before Lent is next week and is sometimes referred to as Clean Monday.
On the flipside, some people will spend this same period of time – anything from three weeks to two or three days – focusing on indulging in the things they are planning to give up during Lent. For instance, the Monday before Lent is also the last Monday of Carnival. In places like New Orleans and other parts of the Gulf Coast, it is also known as Lundi Gras (“Fat Monday”). Rose Monday, Merry Monday, and Hall Monday are also names associated with pre-Lenten festivities around the world. In parts of the United Kingdom, people may refer to this day as Collap Monday, because their traditional breakfast will include collaps (leftover slabs of meat, like bacon) and eggs. In east Cornwall, however, people traditionally eat pea soup and, therefore, call today Peasen (or Paisen) Monday.
Just like with the aforementioned federal holiday in the United States, each name reflects what people value and, more importantly, each name reflects the different actions people are taking in order to fulfill their mission or serve the purpose in life.
“‘Wherever Divinity and humanity are found together – with humanity armed and ready to fight wickedness – there also will be found victory in the battle of life, a life expanded to Divinity and crowned with prosperity and success, a life of adherence to dharma, in tune with the Cosmic Plan. I am convinced of this.ʼ”
– Sanjaya, the minister, speaking to “the blind old King, Dhritarashtra”(18.78) in The Bhagavad Gita: A Walkthrough for Westerners by Jack Hawley
There is no music for the Common Ground Meditation Center practice.
*NOTE: In the Kundalini Yoga tradition, “kriyā” is the term applied to sequences with specific energetic intentions.
A Joyful Practice 