LOOKING FOR ANSWERS WITHIN THE QUESTIONS December 16, 2012
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Fitness, Health, Hope, Karma, Karma Yoga, Mantra, Meditation, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Music, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Twin Cities, Uncategorized, Writing, Yoga.Tags: answers to tragedy, finding hope, personal crisis, questioning faith
2 comments
Q & A
Anyone who comes to my class knows I love stories. And, they can also tell you: I am an equal opportunity storyteller. This time of year is full of some of my favorite stories. Take Chanukah, for instance: within this celebration of light is the story of “Not Much,” the story of “Give It All You’ve Got,” and an opportunity to explore the original meaning of the word “miracle.” On Wednesday people all over the world were looking for and/or celebrating miracles. It wasn’t just that some people saw 12/12/12 as an auspicious date; it was also the middle of Chanukah, the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and the beginning of the Baha’i month of Masa’il (“Questions”).
Personally, I was excited, all fired up, inspired and ready for an “intensely fun, intensely intense” practice on Saturday.
Then, on Friday night, when I heard about yet another mass shooting and a death in my family, I was having a hard time focusing on fun.
It doesn’t matter if it’s today; yesterday; almost 2, 311 years ago (around 300 BCE); or nearly 100 years before that, when bad things happen we question. However, our questions don’t just stop with, “Why?” or “How could this happen?”
The closer we are to the tragedy; the bigger the scale of the tragedy; or the more innocent the people involved, the more we question. Sometimes, we question everything we believe to be true. We may question our faith, the very foundation of our existence, the things (literally and figuratively) that support us when we struggle. And, more often than not, we seek answers from that same foundation or truth – be it God, science, our leaders, or our community.
In every culture and in every heart, there is a word for that ultimate truth; for that something universal within us, and all around us. (Even science has subatomic particles that are in everything.) And in every heart, there is a question we can direct to that source, a question, which can also be an answer.
מכבים गायत्री
In Exodus 15, “Moses and the sons of Israel,” sing the praises of God to God and in doing so they cite a number of marvels (also known as miracles). When a band of brothers/a father and his sons/a clan of priests chose Maccabee as their moniker and battle cry, they not only used a variation of a word meaning “hammer,” they used an acronym for a Torah verse (Shemot/Exodus 15:11): “Who is like You…among the mighty? Glorious in holiness fearful in praises, performing wonders (miracles)?”
The Maccabees took their question to the source and within the question they found their answer: the source. They also found inspiration.
I think what they did is similar to what Rainer Maria Rilke means in Letters to a Young Poet, when he writes, “Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you will not be able to live them…. Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.”
My plan for today’s practice: Embody a question (addressed to the source) that simultaneously inspires and answers. Everyone would have their own personal question(s) and their own way of articulating “the source.” The tricky part would be getting everyone on the same wavelength.
In yoga, we talk about the light (or energy) within us, and all around us. When we move through our physical practice, our physical focus may change from moment to moment, but we have the opportunity to maintain a single-pointed mental focus, a meditation point. Adding mantra to our movement can strength our focus, and get us all on the same wavelength.
Today, I used the Gayatri Mantra to get us on the same wavelength.
People using a mantra for seated meditation often use a mala (“garland” or “ring”) to maintain japa (“repetition” or “remembering”) without excess effort (ajapa-japa or “constant awareness”). In the physical practice, using kirtan (mantra with music) is a great way to achieve a similar meditative state. More often than not, when I use kirtan in a class, the sequencing is progressive in the sense that each time we complete a cycle we begin it again and then add an additional pose or two. Occasionally, I will even get “asana-happy” (or maybe it’s “prana-happy”) and sequence in a mandala (“circle”).
Today, I wanted to go even deeper. Inspired by this idea of living the question, addressed to the source, I took another look at the Gayatri Mantra itself.
When I’ve used the Gayatri Mantra in the past, I’ve emphasized various translations and focused on the story of Visvamitra, the sage responsible for the mantra, and the peak pose named after him. But, this time I looked at the structure of the mantra.
One of the unique aspects of the Gayatri Mantra is its most common name comes from its meter. When in Sanskrit, a “great utterance” is followed by three (3) eight-syllable lines (padas or “feet”). What happens, I wondered, if an extended inclined sequence was followed by three (3) sequences, which each contained eight poses or pose variations? And what would happen if all the sequences put together made up a mandala? And what would happen if the repetition of the mandala prepared us for Visvamitrasana? And can I even get a room full of completely different bodies and practices to the point where their hips, hamstrings, shoulders, triceps/biceps, back, and core (not to mention their wrists) can even safely consider the possibility?
So many questions…that today become so many answers.
When we are moved to move, and we move to seek answers within ourselves, do we become the answer? When we live the question, as Rilke suggests, and our question is, “What can we do to make things better, brighter, to change this great wrong or keep it from happening again?” do we become the change?
OFF THE MAT
Right now, lots of people are asking questions and calling for change, personally and globally. Lots of people are also insisting they know all the answers – sometimes insisting so fervently, in fact, that they can’t even hear themselves let alone the people around them.
I’m not claiming to have any answers…just more questions. I also have a desire to be still and quiet enough to hear all the answers when they come.
And, just like I do when I am seeking guidance, answers, and inspiration from the source of all things, I think some of our questioning and listening needs to be focused on the people who are the source of these tragedies, people who are in so much pain they want to hurt themselves and the people around them.
Finally, I hope that when the right answers come, we are strong enough, wise enough, and courageous enough to recognize and live those answers.
Vinyasa Class Notes
Key Asana Sequence: Anjaneyasana (“Crescent Lunge”) with Inverted Namaskar to Anjaneyasana to Modified Virabhadrasana III (“Warrior III”) to 3 variations of Virabhadrasana III to Urdhva Prasarita Eka Padasana (“Standing Splits”) with Squats, Seated Sage Twist, and Gomukhasana (“Cow Face”)
Song(s) That Had To Make The Cut: multiple versions “Gayatri Mantra”
Song(s) Played Loud For Motivation: multiple versions of “Gayatri Mantra”
Song(s) Related To Theme (if you think about it): “Princes of the Universe” by Bear McCreary
~ NAMASTE ~
Day Twenty-What?!?! February 1, 2011
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in 21-Day Challenge, 40-Day Challenge, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Fitness, Health, Mantra, Meditation, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Movies, Music, Peace, Philosophy, Super Heroes, Texas, Twin Cities, Yoga.1 comment so far
Day 22
My housemate has a way of saying, “What?!?” that embodies more astonishment, amazement, and awe than an adult male should be capable of mustering. It is incredulous. It is not, however, a childlike exclamation. It is one that can only be expressed by a person with a certain amount of knowledge, experience, and – yes – delight. It is the sound I hear when I think of Day 22.
During the 3rd week of the Yoga Journal 21-Day Challenge, I made several allusions to continuing the practice. After all, I had done 40-day challenges before and, as my housemate recently reminded me, 42 is “the answer to life, the universe, and everything.” So, on that level, it makes sense to do another 21 days.
Today was suppose to be a day off, but I had planned to sub a 50-minute class at the Y. It was a departure from the classes I normally teach, a super SPY class: Silent Power Yoga. In some ways it felt liberating to forgo music and my usual preparatory practice. I knew it was going to be a refining and aligning sequence; a tuning, if you will. After completing my 5-minute morning meditation and the Morning Sequence with Kate Holcombe, I knew today’s theme was going to be more super hero than super spy.
Able To, edited by Neil Ellis Orts, is an anthology of stories about people with super powers. These people, however, are not your typical superheroes. They’re more Zen then that. Like the girl whose words become flowers, some of these people have really cool powers for which we can all strive: being able to extend loving-kindness, compassion, to any one and everyone – in any situation. All of these stories make me think: what else could we do, if we tried?
In his book Power Yoga, Beryl Bender Birch refers to a zen koan that sounds like it was written especially for modern day yogis: Only when you can be extremely soft and pliable, can you be extremely hard and strong. Think Plastic Man, without the acid and the history of crime.
In today’s world, we sometimes think of being soft and pliable as being a bad thing. We imagine that bending will lead to breaking. In fact, the opposite holds true. Think of the way a palm tree and a pine tree react to strong wind. Both have strong roots, but the palm tree can hold up the longest, because it bends with the wind. The same thing is true in life: sometimes the only way to withstand the pressures around us is to give a little, bend a little. Being flexible, literally and figuratively, can be a super power for which we can all strive.
There are plenty of times in a yoga class when I see people struggling to hold or get into a pose. I encourage them to slow down their breath, and to relax…something. Sometimes I’ll even remind them that finding a deeper expression is, quite literally, finding a way to smile in the pose: inhale the corners of your mouth up to your ears, exhale and relax your jaw. See, instantly, you have a “deeper expression.”
Take a moment to consider a difficult situation in your life. Take a moment to consider how you react to even the thought of this difficult situation. Does your jaw clench? Do your shoulders move closer to your ears? What’s going on with the space between your eyebrows? What about the space between your fingers and toes? What about your breath and your heartbeat?
OK, now, consider how all these expressions of power serve you.
Take a moment, in the moment, to see what happens if you find a deeper expression, whatever that means to you. Maybe you relax your shoulders. Maybe you take a deep breath in, a deeper breath out. Maybe, just maybe, you soften your brow and smile.
Today, and the next 20 days, for me will be about finding ways to be more flexible. The funny thing is, on New Year’s Eve, when I was told (essentially) that I needed to be more flexible this year, I thought it was the most ludicrous suggestion in the world.
Little did I know.
Which is one of the great things about doing challenges like this. Not only do you give yourself the opportunity to embrace change and create space for change in your life, you also discover things you never knew you could know.
~ BE WELL AND BE GREAT ~
Day 19 Gets Us Closer To The Other Side January 29, 2011
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in 21-Day Challenge, Changing Perspectives, Donate, Fitness, Health, Karma, Karma Yoga, Mantra, Meditation, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Music, Peace, Philosophy, Science, Texas, Twin Cities, Volunteer, Writing, Yoga.add a comment
Day 19
“There are only two types of people in a kayak – those who just got wet, and those who’re about to get wet.” – Bob Patman
“I learned perseverance is a quality I do not fully comprehend the depths of, but that to ever have a chance at comprehension requires a decision to explore.” – Chris Scotch
“I have no doubt you can muscle through…the question is do you have the courage to practice a little peace, to breath your way into a deeper expression.” – me, paraphrasing Mairead Corrigan Maguire
Everybody hits the wall sometime. It’s just a matter of time if you’re putting your endurance to the test. And, it doesn’t matter if you are a professional athlete; a weekend warrior running/walking/rolling/biking for a good cause; or a yogi(ni) taking Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Challenge, at some point you face the fear that it was all for not and you’re not going to make it.
Week 3 of this challenge has, quite possibly, been the most amazing – but it’s also been the most challenging. Even as I got up and got on the mat every day, even as I loved the moments and the awakenings, I started to doubt that I was going to get through it. I started to fear that I was going to oversleep – or fall asleep – or just plan give out. I was hitting the wall.
The funny thing is, I realized that (in this case) the wall was partially of my own making. From the very beginning, I knew that part of my challenge was going to be this blog. I wanted to get some momentum going and get back to writing. I wanted to get past the idea that every entry had to be perfect and erudite. I had to get past the feeling that I didn’t have time – and couldn’t make time. All of this I knew from the beginning. I also knew that it was going to be my little secret. It was going to be the “other stuff” I alluded to on Day 1. And, if I missed a day here or there, no one would be the wiser. So, even though I knew my intention – I didn’t really put it out there. I didn’t mention the blog to anyone I knew until Week 2, and I didn’t encourage anyone to read it until Week 3. Naturally, the minute I opened my big mouth about what I was doing, it became harder to do. I started building the wall.
I could blame the wall on lack of sleep; it’s a common malady. But, every morning I managed to get up and do something. Including this morning, when I felt like staying in bed and chilling out with a good book. Don’t get me wrong. This wasn’t a depressing “I don’t wanna get up, I’m a Toys’RUs kid….” kind of morning. This was a righteous “Wow, I feel so good all tucked in!” kind of morning. I hit the snooze once, maybe twice, and then I got up and sat for 5 minutes. Once my head was clear, I checked my e-mail, reviewed the events of the day, and thought about what I’d led in class earlier in the week and last Friday.
Sometimes I plan out my classes weeks in advance, sometimes mere days; but sometimes I wake up in the morning, toss the plan out, and start anew. This was one of those start anew mornings; I felt compelled to practice a little peace. So, I futzed around with a playlist, a sequence, and a theme I used this time last year. Then I considered how I wanted it to work given how I felt and what I’ve learned over the last year. All of this was in my head, but once I got on the mat I let the breath take over. I let the breath become the wall – and suddenly, I was going over the wall. I was having fun, feeling good, and more or less ready for my day.
I taught 3 classes today and although they were all centered around the “Peace People” theme and sequence, they were very different classes. The first was the most physically challenging (and, oddly, the smallest group class); the second was a private class with an emphasis on the therapeutic and restorative benefits of the practice; and the third class (which was, oddly, the largest) was another group class made challenging because it was by candlelight. Inevitably, the evening classes are a little slower and, every once in a while, I simplify the transitions or modify the balancing sequences to accommodate the darkness. While they resembled each other, and my own personal practice, none of these classes resembled the practice I did last year to celebrate Mairead Corrigan Maguire’s birthday.
Last year’s sequence was intended to be physically exhausting. I wanted people to struggle. I wanted them to find that place where they had to make a decision: muscle through and not enjoy the practice, or breathe their way into a smile.
This year, I wanted a challenging sequence that would leave everyone with a peaceful feeling. The emphasis was on hip opening and side stretching. I wanted to get at those pesky hamstrings and IT bands, but I also wanted to get in some core work and some arm balancing. During my personal practice, I felt challenged but relaxed – peaceful yet engaged. During the morning class, however, I wondered if the class was a little lighter than people expected (or wanted). Maybe for some it was, but midway through, I looked up and saw sweat sprinkled on one member’s t-shirt while several other members strategically inserted Child’s Pose into their vinyasa. “We are,” I thought, “exactly where we need to be.”
After class, I used one of the battery operated candles for my 18-Minute So Hum Meditation. I felt good, relaxed, steady, and peaceful. I could have easily ended my day here, but I still needed to fulfill the rest of my challenge. So, I headed home to practice the 30-Minute Peak Pose Sequence featuring Wheel Pose with Jason Crandell.
For the record, Crandell rocks my world again and again. I’d like to call him a teacher’s teacher, which he most definitely is, but (to be fair) he’s also an “Everyman’s Teacher.” He systematically opens up the body and fires up muscles even I forgot I had. I modified some of the arm movements just to relieve some tension in my shoulder. Half way through the Sun Salutations, I felt myself drop over the other side of the wall. Somewhere between Bridge Pose and the second or third Wheel Pose, I had not only forgotten about the wall, I had forgotten the fact that I was nursing some tenderness in my shoulder. I can’t say I was ready for a fourth Wheel Pose, which would have been my fifth (or sixth) one of the day, but I did foresee myself going into an expression I’ve only dreamed of taking. Seriously, last week, I had an 8-year old (I think) in my class doing this extended Wheel. Her parents and I joked that we wouldn’t be doing that version anytime soon. Today, however, I could feel myself being ready to do it sooner rather than later.
It was a great feeling. And with that great feeling came an even better reminder: Everybody hits the wall sometime. Just like everyone who spends any significant time in a kayak flips it over. But, it’s nothing to fear. Getting wet is half the fun – it proves you were out there and you were doing it. And once you get back in the boat, you’re on your way; you’re past that moment.
Hitting the wall is the same thing. It’s bound to happen, but it’s nothing to fear. Because, regardless of who you are or what you’re doing, there’s a second wind waiting for you on the other side of that wall. There’s a deeper experience – a deeper expression, one you’ve only imagined in your dreams. One you can only experience if you make the decision to explore.
So, take a deep breath, get wet, persevere, and and get yourself (peacefully) to the other side.
Bob Patman is usually in Texas and Mairead Corrigan Maguire resides in Ireland.
Which begs the question: Where's Chris Scotch?
Well, on Monday, January 31st, Chris will be in International Falls, Minnesota racing in the Arrowhead 270. Send him warm thoughts, big smiles, and, if you're so inclined, help him send some cold hard cash to St. Jude Children's Hospital.
A Joyful Practice 