LOOKING FOR ANSWERS WITHIN THE QUESTIONS December 16, 2012
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Fitness, Health, Hope, Karma, Karma Yoga, Mantra, Meditation, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Music, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Twin Cities, Uncategorized, Writing, Yoga.Tags: answers to tragedy, finding hope, personal crisis, questioning faith
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Q & A
Anyone who comes to my class knows I love stories. And, they can also tell you: I am an equal opportunity storyteller. This time of year is full of some of my favorite stories. Take Chanukah, for instance: within this celebration of light is the story of “Not Much,” the story of “Give It All You’ve Got,” and an opportunity to explore the original meaning of the word “miracle.” On Wednesday people all over the world were looking for and/or celebrating miracles. It wasn’t just that some people saw 12/12/12 as an auspicious date; it was also the middle of Chanukah, the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and the beginning of the Baha’i month of Masa’il (“Questions”).
Personally, I was excited, all fired up, inspired and ready for an “intensely fun, intensely intense” practice on Saturday.
Then, on Friday night, when I heard about yet another mass shooting and a death in my family, I was having a hard time focusing on fun.
It doesn’t matter if it’s today; yesterday; almost 2, 311 years ago (around 300 BCE); or nearly 100 years before that, when bad things happen we question. However, our questions don’t just stop with, “Why?” or “How could this happen?”
The closer we are to the tragedy; the bigger the scale of the tragedy; or the more innocent the people involved, the more we question. Sometimes, we question everything we believe to be true. We may question our faith, the very foundation of our existence, the things (literally and figuratively) that support us when we struggle. And, more often than not, we seek answers from that same foundation or truth – be it God, science, our leaders, or our community.
In every culture and in every heart, there is a word for that ultimate truth; for that something universal within us, and all around us. (Even science has subatomic particles that are in everything.) And in every heart, there is a question we can direct to that source, a question, which can also be an answer.
מכבים गायत्री
In Exodus 15, “Moses and the sons of Israel,” sing the praises of God to God and in doing so they cite a number of marvels (also known as miracles). When a band of brothers/a father and his sons/a clan of priests chose Maccabee as their moniker and battle cry, they not only used a variation of a word meaning “hammer,” they used an acronym for a Torah verse (Shemot/Exodus 15:11): “Who is like You…among the mighty? Glorious in holiness fearful in praises, performing wonders (miracles)?”
The Maccabees took their question to the source and within the question they found their answer: the source. They also found inspiration.
I think what they did is similar to what Rainer Maria Rilke means in Letters to a Young Poet, when he writes, “Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you will not be able to live them…. Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.”
My plan for today’s practice: Embody a question (addressed to the source) that simultaneously inspires and answers. Everyone would have their own personal question(s) and their own way of articulating “the source.” The tricky part would be getting everyone on the same wavelength.
In yoga, we talk about the light (or energy) within us, and all around us. When we move through our physical practice, our physical focus may change from moment to moment, but we have the opportunity to maintain a single-pointed mental focus, a meditation point. Adding mantra to our movement can strength our focus, and get us all on the same wavelength.
Today, I used the Gayatri Mantra to get us on the same wavelength.
People using a mantra for seated meditation often use a mala (“garland” or “ring”) to maintain japa (“repetition” or “remembering”) without excess effort (ajapa-japa or “constant awareness”). In the physical practice, using kirtan (mantra with music) is a great way to achieve a similar meditative state. More often than not, when I use kirtan in a class, the sequencing is progressive in the sense that each time we complete a cycle we begin it again and then add an additional pose or two. Occasionally, I will even get “asana-happy” (or maybe it’s “prana-happy”) and sequence in a mandala (“circle”).
Today, I wanted to go even deeper. Inspired by this idea of living the question, addressed to the source, I took another look at the Gayatri Mantra itself.
When I’ve used the Gayatri Mantra in the past, I’ve emphasized various translations and focused on the story of Visvamitra, the sage responsible for the mantra, and the peak pose named after him. But, this time I looked at the structure of the mantra.
One of the unique aspects of the Gayatri Mantra is its most common name comes from its meter. When in Sanskrit, a “great utterance” is followed by three (3) eight-syllable lines (padas or “feet”). What happens, I wondered, if an extended inclined sequence was followed by three (3) sequences, which each contained eight poses or pose variations? And what would happen if all the sequences put together made up a mandala? And what would happen if the repetition of the mandala prepared us for Visvamitrasana? And can I even get a room full of completely different bodies and practices to the point where their hips, hamstrings, shoulders, triceps/biceps, back, and core (not to mention their wrists) can even safely consider the possibility?
So many questions…that today become so many answers.
When we are moved to move, and we move to seek answers within ourselves, do we become the answer? When we live the question, as Rilke suggests, and our question is, “What can we do to make things better, brighter, to change this great wrong or keep it from happening again?” do we become the change?
OFF THE MAT
Right now, lots of people are asking questions and calling for change, personally and globally. Lots of people are also insisting they know all the answers – sometimes insisting so fervently, in fact, that they can’t even hear themselves let alone the people around them.
I’m not claiming to have any answers…just more questions. I also have a desire to be still and quiet enough to hear all the answers when they come.
And, just like I do when I am seeking guidance, answers, and inspiration from the source of all things, I think some of our questioning and listening needs to be focused on the people who are the source of these tragedies, people who are in so much pain they want to hurt themselves and the people around them.
Finally, I hope that when the right answers come, we are strong enough, wise enough, and courageous enough to recognize and live those answers.
Vinyasa Class Notes
Key Asana Sequence: Anjaneyasana (“Crescent Lunge”) with Inverted Namaskar to Anjaneyasana to Modified Virabhadrasana III (“Warrior III”) to 3 variations of Virabhadrasana III to Urdhva Prasarita Eka Padasana (“Standing Splits”) with Squats, Seated Sage Twist, and Gomukhasana (“Cow Face”)
Song(s) That Had To Make The Cut: multiple versions “Gayatri Mantra”
Song(s) Played Loud For Motivation: multiple versions of “Gayatri Mantra”
Song(s) Related To Theme (if you think about it): “Princes of the Universe” by Bear McCreary
~ NAMASTE ~
Day Twenty-What?!?! February 1, 2011
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in 21-Day Challenge, 40-Day Challenge, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Fitness, Health, Mantra, Meditation, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Movies, Music, Peace, Philosophy, Super Heroes, Texas, Twin Cities, Yoga.1 comment so far
Day 22
My housemate has a way of saying, “What?!?” that embodies more astonishment, amazement, and awe than an adult male should be capable of mustering. It is incredulous. It is not, however, a childlike exclamation. It is one that can only be expressed by a person with a certain amount of knowledge, experience, and – yes – delight. It is the sound I hear when I think of Day 22.
During the 3rd week of the Yoga Journal 21-Day Challenge, I made several allusions to continuing the practice. After all, I had done 40-day challenges before and, as my housemate recently reminded me, 42 is “the answer to life, the universe, and everything.” So, on that level, it makes sense to do another 21 days.
Today was suppose to be a day off, but I had planned to sub a 50-minute class at the Y. It was a departure from the classes I normally teach, a super SPY class: Silent Power Yoga. In some ways it felt liberating to forgo music and my usual preparatory practice. I knew it was going to be a refining and aligning sequence; a tuning, if you will. After completing my 5-minute morning meditation and the Morning Sequence with Kate Holcombe, I knew today’s theme was going to be more super hero than super spy.
Able To, edited by Neil Ellis Orts, is an anthology of stories about people with super powers. These people, however, are not your typical superheroes. They’re more Zen then that. Like the girl whose words become flowers, some of these people have really cool powers for which we can all strive: being able to extend loving-kindness, compassion, to any one and everyone – in any situation. All of these stories make me think: what else could we do, if we tried?
In his book Power Yoga, Beryl Bender Birch refers to a zen koan that sounds like it was written especially for modern day yogis: Only when you can be extremely soft and pliable, can you be extremely hard and strong. Think Plastic Man, without the acid and the history of crime.
In today’s world, we sometimes think of being soft and pliable as being a bad thing. We imagine that bending will lead to breaking. In fact, the opposite holds true. Think of the way a palm tree and a pine tree react to strong wind. Both have strong roots, but the palm tree can hold up the longest, because it bends with the wind. The same thing is true in life: sometimes the only way to withstand the pressures around us is to give a little, bend a little. Being flexible, literally and figuratively, can be a super power for which we can all strive.
There are plenty of times in a yoga class when I see people struggling to hold or get into a pose. I encourage them to slow down their breath, and to relax…something. Sometimes I’ll even remind them that finding a deeper expression is, quite literally, finding a way to smile in the pose: inhale the corners of your mouth up to your ears, exhale and relax your jaw. See, instantly, you have a “deeper expression.”
Take a moment to consider a difficult situation in your life. Take a moment to consider how you react to even the thought of this difficult situation. Does your jaw clench? Do your shoulders move closer to your ears? What’s going on with the space between your eyebrows? What about the space between your fingers and toes? What about your breath and your heartbeat?
OK, now, consider how all these expressions of power serve you.
Take a moment, in the moment, to see what happens if you find a deeper expression, whatever that means to you. Maybe you relax your shoulders. Maybe you take a deep breath in, a deeper breath out. Maybe, just maybe, you soften your brow and smile.
Today, and the next 20 days, for me will be about finding ways to be more flexible. The funny thing is, on New Year’s Eve, when I was told (essentially) that I needed to be more flexible this year, I thought it was the most ludicrous suggestion in the world.
Little did I know.
Which is one of the great things about doing challenges like this. Not only do you give yourself the opportunity to embrace change and create space for change in your life, you also discover things you never knew you could know.
~ BE WELL AND BE GREAT ~
Day 21, The Perfect Time For A Tune Up February 1, 2011
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Day 21
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
– Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr
Life happens. As long as you’re breathing, there’s no getting around it – life. As I said on Thursday, “Life is unexpected, surprising, and miraculous – it is full of the unexpected” The unexpected came in waves this past week and weekend and so, by Sunday, I felt lucky to get out of bed. Albeit, a little later than usual and with much more to do than normal. Playing catch-up meant I barely had time for my 5-minute meditation and a 20-minute asana practice. I was struggling; and, when I struggle I feel the need for a tune up.
When something mechanical – a car, for instance – needs a tune up, we take it to a professional. It’s a job that happens without us. But, when I think of tuning up as it relates to yoga, I think of a more personally interactive process. I think back to my years working for the ballet. Professional dancers take class every day; orchestra musicians start every performance by tuning up together. So, to me, tuning up means a bunch of people breathing together and running through the scales or the basics. Tuning up, is tuning in. Of course, sometimes other people are not available. So, you tune/turn to something elemental.
There is nothing more elemental than breath, and the sound of your breath. So, the first step is always to focus on the breathing. Then, to deepen the breath. Finally, when tuning, I find it’s nice to combine the breath with a mantra. Then, more often than not, I add a little movement. Asana, Pranayama, Dharana, Dhyana – half of the 8-limbs of yoga – are a great way to tune in and tune up.
Because it sounds like breathing and because I have some really great recordings of it, “So Hum/Hum Sa” is my default class mantra. My students may even say I over use it, but I’m not sure that’s possible. Still, when it came to Sunday’s practice and classes I ended up going with a mantra more in keeping with my current mindset: Om Namah Shivaya.
Om Namah Shivaya can be translated or interpreted in a lot of different ways. On a very basic level, it is considered a bhakti mantra, a devotional hymn. “Om” is the sound of the universe; the vibration under everything. “Namah” is honor or respect. “Shivaya” is a name for the divine. Of course, that last part can be the sticking part, because those of us in the West tend to view the divine in very different and conflicting ways – which is why I like to go deeper, look at it from a yoga perspective.
Yoga, on a basic level, is all about connecting the mind, the body, and the spirit. In the physical practice of yoga, we usually consider mind-body-spirit connection successful if we can be fully present and fully aware of what we’re doing at any given moment. But the ultimate connection is union with the divine. Samadhi, the 8th limb outlined in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, is considered enlightenment: the fundamental and conscious awareness that we are connected to all things, all people – and yes, to a divine spirit.
Breaking it down, “Om” represents an individual’s conscious, unconscious, and subconscious mind – it is the sound of our full awareness. “Namah Shivaya” represents the 5 elements that are inside of us and all around us: earth, water, fire, air, and ether (spirit). When we repeat this mantra on a personal level, we bring our full awareness to all we are, all that is around us, and all we are capable of creating or enduring. I usually correlate this mantra to the middle of the Serenity Prayer: the courage to change the things I can….However, the more I think about it – meditate on it – the more I realize it’s the whole enchilada. This mantra tunes you in to what is inside you and all around you; it wakes you up to what you can accept and what you can change.
On a physical level, Sunday’s practices became about being upside down. My students would probably say we did Standing Splits (Urdhva Prasarita Eka Padasana) 50 billion times. In reality (and 60 minutes), however, we could only do 3 on each side. Each time we came at it in a slightly different way and each time, theoretically, was an opportunity to take it deeper. On a subliminal level, each one was also an opportunity to accept, to change, and to distinguish the differences between what we could change and what we could accept.
In between my second and third class, I completed my 18-Minute So Hum Meditation. I was sitting in a chair, on top of a block, and at some point the motion detectors turned out the lights. It was peaceful, but more than anything it reinforced how tired I was. I planned to do one of the video practices when I first got home. However, after my third class, all I wanted was a nap.
My nap almost became a good night’s sleep. At 5 AM Monday morning, I woke up fully clothed and tried to do the Evening Sequence with Kate Holcombe. I lasted about 10 minutes. Normally, I would beat myself up about this, consider it a failure. But after the last 21 days, all I could do was accept it. And go back to bed.
The challenge that came in like a lion, went out like a lamb.
Or, so it would seem.
~ Om Namah Shivaya Om ~
A Day (18) of Surprises January 28, 2011
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Day 18
“Be prepared.” – Motto for Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of America
“To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.” – Oscar Wilde
Ask almost any red-blooded American and they can tell you the motto for the Boy Scouts of America: Be Prepared – or, always be prepared. Ask for the Girl Scouts motto and even former Girl Scouts like me draw a blank. We have to look it up. Turns out the scouting organizations share the same motto. And, while I may not have remembered the motto as being part of my scouting days, it is something I take to heart. Scouts have their trusty pocket knives and can make a tourniquet out of a belt or sash. I have a backpack I refer to as my portable office. People say even the “small” one is bigger than me. I try to carry everything I might need during the course of a day; but, even I’m not prepared for everything (not even close). There are things (and times) for which you can only prepare for by being open to whatever comes: expect the unexpected.
Today was one of those days when I could have probably (undoubtedly) left the pack at home. I was planning to sub a class that is usually taught without music, and I planned to open it up for requests – which I rarely ever do. After lunch with a fellow Texan, I planned to meet with Cynthia Rae Levine, another yoga instructor, and then take her prenatal class so that I could sub for her in the future. Somewhere along the way, I planned to practice the sequence featured for Day 18 of Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Challenge and practice one or both of my meditations.
This should have been a big purse or a pocket-full-of-stuff day, but I wasn’t prepared to go out without my full arsenal, so I swung on my “small” pack. Just in case.
Rewinding just a bit, I should mention that the unexpected happened before I ever left the house. My alarm was acting funny and I ended up getting out of bed a little later than I planned. Normally I plan to arrive where ever I’m teaching at least 30 minutes early; that way, if there’s a delay, I’m usually covered. Sometimes when I’m subbing I give myself even more grace time, but sometimes I give myself less. Even though I woke up later than usual, the class was later than when I usually teach and I figured I had time to fit in some aspects of my daily routine.
I sat for 5 minutes, which became 10 before I realized I had incorrectly set the alarm. I still had time to do the Day 18 video, a 30-Minute Aligning and Refining Forward Bends Practice with Elise Lorimer. But it was going to be tight. I almost skipped the video, just so I wouldn’t have to rush and (to be honest) I wasn’t sure I’d had enough sleep to keep up with one of Lorimer’s sequences. I ultimately decided to do the video, but I set the alarm to keep myself on schedule. (And yes, I double checked the alarm.)
I liked this sequence a lot more than the “Fun Flow.” It was still intense on the hips and I can see some people saying parts are cued a little fast, but it felt really good. I didn’t feel like I was opening up for forward bending – or that I was refining my forward bends – but I get where she was going. I also felt like it was fun and could be challenging for a variety of different fitness and experience levels. I especially liked the IT band stretch based on Ardha Hanumanasana. I haven’t been doing a lot of Eka Pada Rajakopatasana I (One Legged King Pigeon I) in my classes, because I feel like a lot of attention needs to be given to the proper alignment. So, I was a little surprised to find it in this mix. However, going into it, and Cow Face pose (legs only), gave me an opportunity to notice how my hips have changed over the last few months. Also, because I felt like the sequence lacked forward bending, I paid particular attention to the King Pigeon feels and works as a forward bend. I was a little disappointed in the way the block and blanket were used. A fully supported Standing Forward Fold or a fully supported Pascimottanasana would have been appreciated during this sequence. I’m pretty sure Lorimer was going for the latter at the end of the sequence, but I felt like it would have been more effective with the blanket on top of the legs and the block on top of that. The video seemed to go over 30-minutes, so I didn’t get the extended Savasana for which my body was begging. It would have been really nice after this sequence. Overall, I felt really good – good enough to meditate – but I didn’t have time.
I missed my bus and had to take the train, which was delayed a little bit. Honestly, I was gratefully for the slight delay because it enabled me to catch the “earlier” train. Then I discovered that the slight delay was probably a direct result of a power line falling on the train tracks and disrupting service to downtown.
Hmm, nothing in my backpack was going to help with this situation. All I could do was take a deep breath; get on the bus acting as the train; reassure a business man he wouldn’t be far from his hotel; and call my supervisor to say I would probably be a minute or two late.
I was 2 minutes late. After running through Macy’s and the skyway, I climbed up the stairs to the 6th floor studio – only to discover another teacher was teaching the class. I quietly, and as unobtrusively as possible, closed the door and headed back down the stairs. I was relieved that the class had started on time, but I was unprepared to discover there had been some scheduling confusion and the other teacher had showed up expecting to teach all along. Again, I was relieved and – again – there was nothing in my pack to help with the fact that we might encounter the same confusion on Monday. I took a deep breath and left the other teacher a message, hoping we could clear up in confusion in the morning.
My Texas friend and I met for lunch a little earlier than we had planned. Then we explored a cafe/bakery/deli/baltic import shop across the street from where we had lunch. We had a great time, as we always do, and our little retail adventure was an unexpected pleasure. (My backpack finally came in handy, because my friend brought me a package from home, which I handily slipped into my pack, but this was neither unexpected or absolutely necessary.)
Eventually, I made it over to the coffee shop near the studio to meet with Cynthia. Both of us were running late – nothing major, and nothing in my pack that would have made a big difference. We had tea and then moved over to the studio for class. I pulled some of my yoga goodies out of my pack; but, seriously folks, I could have foregone the goodies or carried them in a large purse.
At the beginning of class, Cynthia has everyone introduce themselves and give some information about their pregnancy. She also has a question for each of the “mamas” to answer. Tonight’s question was “What word are you currently associating with your pregnancy?”
Well, since I’m not pregnant, I went with an obvious one: Miraculous. One of the women said, “Surprising.” Either of those words could apply to my feelings during and after the class. Plainly put, Cynthia led an amazing class that was three parts inspiration, one part exertion, and two parts relaxation. Plus, it was a super fun combination of hip openers, core engagement, breathing, balance, and forward bending. When we moved into Savasana I felt, in a nutshell, so phenomenal and so utterly relaxed, I wished I was pregnant just so I would have an excuse to come back next week.
Nothing in my back pack prepared me for that.
At the end of the day, as I sat down to do my 18-Minute So Hum Meditation, I couldn’t help but think about how the day started and all the little things that happened along the way. Then I thought of something Cynthia repeated throughout our conversations during tea, and during the introduction to her class: “Life is life.” To me, that summed up my day, my week, and this whole 21-day yoga challenge, Life is unexpected, surprising, and miraculous – it is full of the unexpected. And, it doesn’t matter how many gadgets are on your Swiss Army knife or in your backpack, the only way you can really be prepared for everything is if you are prepared to breath through anything.
Cynthia Rae Levine teaches prenatal classes at Nokomis Yoga and at Blooma. If you're looking for a prenatal class or a doula in the Twin Cities, check her out!
~ NAMASTE ~
Day 16’s Two For One Special January 26, 2011
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Day 16
“Who knows whether it is bad luck or good luck,” says the Taoist farmer.
“Is that so?” asks the Zen monk.
“Everything…is the best,” says the Zen shopkeeper.
“Gam zu l’tovah,” says Nachum Ish Gamzu.
In the modern world, especially here in the West, we tend to view things as they come. We are quick to assume that what we have, here and now, is the whole story. And, we are quick to judge accordingly. We define a situation – or another person – as good, bad, or irrelevant depending on how it measures up to our current goals and desires. We suffer, because we react to what’s happening in a moment that is nothing more, nothing less, than the middle of a chapter. Even if (you think) this chapter is the end of your life, it is hardly ever where your story ends.
In fact, even if you’re right, and this is the last chapter of your living life, there’s still another chapter in your story – it just involves other people. If you’re wrong, and this is not the last chapter in your living life, then the next chapter is all about how your attitude about a current situation affected your future situations.
I’ve seen people recover from tragedy because they had a positive attitude. I’ve also seen people who seem to age dramatically because they can’t get past a calamity. Personally, I believe we have an infinity capacity for joy and love, but that we are only given the grief we can handle. Call me a romantic optimist. I still recognize the problem with this philosophy is that sometimes things happen which make us doubt our ability to handle the situation. We fall into the trap of believing it is the end of the story. We become disappointed, irritated, angry – and those emotions begin to supersede the joy, the hope, the love.
My Day 16 story is mostly about molehills that could have turned into mountains. Although, there is a funny celebrity moment and a really dramatic moment (which isn’t mine). The stories behind the teachings quoted above, are a little deeper. Take a moment to consider one or both of the sections below. Consider your answers to the questions which appear after the teachings. Then, see where those answers lead you.
Be open to the possibility that you don’t have the whole story. See if you can Be receptive to the inevitable joy that comes from recognizing everything is for the good.
My Day 16 Molehills
The Stories Behind The Teachings
~ Be open, be receptive. ~
27 Days Away From The Answer To Everything (Day 15 of Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Challenge) January 25, 2011
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Day 15
“Neti, neti!”
– Ajatsatru describing the nature of the divine and telling Gargya how not to meditate. Often translated as, “Not this, not this.” (The Brihadaranyaka Upanishads)
My housemate and I have discussed the wisdom and reasoning behind which videos have been repeated during Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Challenge. I think I understand the reasoning, and I even appreciate the wisdom. Neither one of us, however, has been very interested in repeating the “Fun Flow” which appears on the first day of each week. Last night I went to bed thinking I would get up early and combine the Elise Lorimer video with another video. Or two. I even thought, since I was off, I would catch up on the audio streaming meditations featured during the challenge. Monday, however, turned out to be a good day to pay the piper.
As I mentioned yesterday, all the late nights and running around comes at a cost. Today was cold (yes, I know, that’s Minnesota in the winter) and since I had a day off I decided to catch up on some much needed sleep. I know plenty of people who wake up like clock work, even on their day off, and view a midday nap as a mortal sin. These people also tend to think of waking up at 9:30 AM as sleeping in. I am not one of these people. So, when I woke up this morning I thought nothing of putting off my very ambitious plans for the day and staying in bed to finish reading a book. I have no shame; I’ll even admit to taking a nap. In fact, I barely got out of bed to eat. I probably would have switched from pajamas to yoga gear and back again if a friend hadn’t asked me to go out for dinner. Like I said, today was the day to pay the piper – and the piper was very well paid.
Once I finally came out of hibernation mode, I sat for 5 minutes and then decided I wanted to complete a video practice and the 18-Minute So Hum Meditation before I left the house. I didn’t have the time or the inclination to do the 45-minute video sequence, which I also skipped last week. I used the 15-Minute Morning Sequence as my substitution. Granted, it was no longer morning – not by a long shot – but Kate Holcombe says this sequence could be done in the afternoon if you need a little energy. All in all, it’s a very light practice and it does a good job of clearing the cobwebs that linger in the brain after sleeping. Or napping. You could also do all or part of this sequence in your office instead of grabbing that fourth cup of coffee. Or that second doughnut. Think of it as continuing the momentum of a good habit.
Today was a day when I could have easily skipped a physical practice all together. There are a variety of reasons why someone might take a day away from asana. “Ashtang-is” may not practice during certain phases of the moon. Some traditions recommend not practicing at all during menstruation or at least not on a woman’s heavy flow days. Then there’s days, like today, when you’re tired. I firmly believe in listening to the mind-body-spirit. Yes, we have an odd way of communicating with ourselves. The mind-body has a tendency to send messages like, “I’m hungry” when it’s thirsty. Or, it doesn’t commit to doing an inversion because you might fall. In both cases, however, the mind-body is doing it’s job: it’s protecting and nurturing the case that holds the spirit. Sometimes, taking a complete break is a great way to protect and nurture. It creates balance. Sometimes, however, what we need is a little cross training. My overall practice is very active (yang), so occasionally doing a restorative practice (yin) – like the ones presented by Kate Holcombe – can be a nice alternative to not practicing.
Not practicing is not an option when you’re in the middle of a challenge like the Yoga Journal 21-Day Challenge, which creates a new habit or routine through momentum. Having made a commitment to the process, as opposed to a goal, you find a way to make it work, one day at a time.
During January, we see a lot of new faces at the gyms and studios, because people have made New Year’s resolutions. Some of those faces become familiar. Some, however, disappear after a few weeks. Most of the latter group tries committing to a goal, which rarely works. I’m not saying that visualizing the goal can’t be helpful. It can, in fact, be super motivating. You still, however, have to take the first step. And then, you have to take the second step. And so on. It’s easy, after all, to give up on some lofty idea that may never happen. Fitting into a different dress size; not smoking after 20 years; keeping in touch with friends who’ve moved; and spending quality time with our family are all things we’d like to do, but if doing it were so easy, we wouldn’t need the resolution. We’d just do it.
And that’s the key, the answer to everything: just do it. Then keep doing it. Instead of making a resolution, make a sankalpa (determination promise): a commitment to the process that brings you closer to your goal.
One of the goals of doing Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Challenge is to help people develop a home practice. Unfortunately, some people – even people with a regular practice – have to get passed the idea that having a home practice is a lofty goal. This becomes a little like the Upanishads conversation between Gargya and Ajatsatru. A home practice doesn’t have to be a super complicated sequence or even a simple 2-hour one. It doesn’t have to be a series requiring a lot of space and props. It doesn’t even have to be something you do at home, per se. It could be one pose; done every morning before you go to work, every afternoon before lunch, or every evening before bed. It could be a peak pose you do after every class you take at a studio or gym. The important thing is to find something that works, and to keep doing it – to keep practicing.
My housemate and I are not the only people who have expressed preferences about a particular sequence or teacher. We’re human, it happens. But, like so many people, we’ve both made a commitment to the process. So we’re finding ways to make it work. We’re finding what works for us, as individuals – which is a great reminder that, traditionally speaking, a personal practice should be as unique as the individual who practices it. The beauty of this challenge, the sequences, and these teachers is that people have the opportunity to try different styles, at different times, and to really see what’s going to work long term. By focusing on the process, we focus on the practice. Ultimately, the process becomes the goal. That’s the practice.
~ Be well, and be great ~
Lucky (Day) 13 January 23, 2011
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Day 13
Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So, somewhere in my youth, or childhood,
I must have done something good.
– Maria and the Captain in The Sound of Music
Yoga Day USA 2011 was a great day for union. Ironically, I started the day without a physical practice. Sure, I sat for 5 minutes and I thought about asana – and I did demonstrate some poses when I taught in the morning – but I didn’t do what I would consider a significant amount of hatha yoga. Yet and still, when I sat down on a block in the empty studio to do my 18-Minute So Hum Meditation my body felt OK, and my mind and spirit felt open to the possibility of a deep seated meditation. More than anything, however, I felt lucky to be on the mat – even though, literally speaking, I wasn’t.
Part of the reason I felt so lucky, this morning was because I was looking forward to attending the wedding of some very special friends. To end “Union” Day USA with this extra special union seemed incredibly apropos. Another reason I felt so fortunate was that I had just finished guiding a 90-minute class focused on Drishti (sight/gaze/focal point) and it’s connection to Dharana (concentration), Dhyana (meditation), and Samadhi (union with divine/enlightenment). I did a companion class on this theme twice on Friday. The Saturday morning class was much smaller than the Friday classes, yet I was blown away by the energy and focus of every person in the room. When we got to the guided meditation, I faced expressions ranging from relaxed to ecstatic. Energetically, my body-mind-spirit felt like the room was packed. People seemed to be making the connection…getting it…coming together.
At an earlier point, however, I felt like I made a mistake. During a point of relaxation, when I typically say, “Don’t check out,” and encourage people to tune in to the theme, I made what might be considered a yoga faux pas. As I recited the 8-limbs of yoga and tied together how the practice of Drishti enhances Dharana and Dhyana – which in turn can lead to Samadhi – I said, “If you practice, and you’re lucky, you can reach Samadhi…” Whoops. I considered trying to correct the statement, but I let it stand and moved forward. As it turns out, this may have been my moment of truth.
We often think of luck as chance, a random accident of some kind. First and foremost, however, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines luck as “a force that brings good fortune or adversity” or, as “the events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual.” In the philosophy of yoga everything we do or think is karma – an action – which determines how future events proceed. By practicing yoga, we actively and consciously attempt to create events and circumstances that operate for us; we attempt to actively and consciously create our own luck. Hatha Yoga, the physical practice of yoga, literally means “by force union.” It is, accordingly, another form of creating one’s own luck.
So, yes, at the end of Yoga Day USA 2011, I feel lucky to have a yoga practice to call my own and to be a small part of so many wonderful practices. I also feel lucky because today’s video sequence was 20-Minute Tension Release Shoulder Openers with Kate Holcombe. Not only was this a perfect way to end a long day, it was exactly the kind of practice my body needed.
At some point directly after I finished the Day 11 sequence, which featured some shoulder rotation exercises in anticipation of backbending, I became aware of a little soreness around my trapezius muscles. Also, moving my neck in certain directions produced a sound very similar to the sound produced when milk is poured over Rice Krispies. None of this was particularly painful, but it was odd and a little disconcerting. I figured it would all come out in the wash, but I really didn’t do too much to actively help the restoring process along. At least, not until this evening’s practice.
A yoga practice can make you feel like you just had a massage, or it can highlight the areas you need massaged. Holcombe’s practice is restorative by nature and, in this case, really made me aware of the muscles I need to relax in order to get back to what passes for normal. The simple, repetitive motions made me very aware of the imbalances in my shoulder girdle. The best part, however, was Holcombe encouraging the viewer to note the differences on each side and to repeat the sequences accordingly. While not billed as a vinyasa practice, the order of the poses and the emphasis on linking breath to movement fits under the definition of vinyasa.
I especially appreciated the bits of pranayama included throughout the video. Holcombe has me rethinking my avoidance of Sitali Pranayama, cooling breath control. In the past, I’ve eschewed this type of breath control because (a) the tongue roll seemed prohibitive and (b) I rarely feel the need to cool my body down through breath work. On the rare occasions when I do want to actively use my breath to release some heat, I simply open my mouth and sigh. Sometimes I might even stick out my tongue and roar. I don’t think to do Sitali Pranayama. It’s just not part of my practice.
Holcombe offered a modification, which encouraged me to try the practice. To my surprise, I was able to produce the tongue roll. It wasn’t easy; but, with practice, I bet I could roll right into it. The temperature in my room was a little cool, which may be the reason I was struck by how incredibly cold and dry my tongue felt during the inhales. One thing I didn’t hear was any instruction on pulling the tongue as far back into the mouth as possible (during the exhale) in order to lubricate the tongue. Just closing the mouth over the tongue doesn’t seem to do enough. It’s possible this information was included but I just didn’t hear it. I also didn’t hear any cautions about times or conditions when practicing Sitali Pranayama is contraindicated.
My other a-ha moment with regard to Sitali Pranayama came when I started to realize why B. K. S. Iyengar writes, “This pranayama cools the system.” I’ve read of people cooling their body temperature with this breathing method, but tonight’s experience made me aware of how it calms and soothes the body and the nervous system. I am curious to see, as I continue the practice, if I eventually find it as calming on the parasympathetic nervous system as Nadi Sodhana Pranayama (Alternate Nasal Breathing).
Finally, I should admit that while I love props and understand their value in any practice – including a vinyasa practice – I didn’t practice this sequence in a chair, as demonstrated. Props are not always readily available. I’ve been known to get creative: using Legos and hand weights as blocks, or hardcover books as a foundation. Tonight, however, I just didn’t want take the extra time to find an appropriate chair. So, I got creative. I practiced parts of the video in Sukhasana, Siddhasana, Dandasana, and a modified Virasana. I even tried a Navasana prep position (knees bent, feet on the floor) to create more space for my back to round. Lucky for me, the sequence worked just fine in a comfortable, seated position – directly on my mat.
~ Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu ~
Day 12 Takes Flight January 22, 2011
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Day 12
“It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key.
– Winston Churchill, 1939
Crow Pose: People love it, hate it, or dread it. Some folks practice it religiously, while others avoid it at all costs. And, within both groups are the people who are continually mystified by the riddle of the name: Is it Bakasana or Kakasana?**
When it comes to the physical practice of the pose, I fall into the “love it/practice it religiously” category. My love affair with Crow undoubtedly started in Texas, but I became aware of my affinity for the pose when I was going through teacher training. Because of my experiences practicing in Texas, my Crow looked very different from the ones I saw in Minneapolis. My heart was pointed forward (instead of back), my bottom and hips were low to the ground (instead of pointed up in the air), and my back was flat (instead of rounded). Additionally, I couldn’t hold the pose for any significant amount of time, because I couldn’t get past the idea that my arms, legs, and hips were somehow ill-formed for the pose. After a little Q&A session with Kai Trinh, one of the teachers leading the training, I realized I had to trust my practice – and trust that it was right were it needed to be. I also realized three of my big reasons for loving Crow:
- It’s a pose that illustrates the difference between practicing yoga and just getting some exercise. Sure, you can muscle into this pose, but to stay here, and breath here, requires more than brute strength.
- Practicing this pose, even when fully modified with both feet on the floor, requires a person to confront doubts and fears – in particular, the literal and figurative fear of “falling on your face.”
- To do this pose, you have to lead with your heart, get your ego out of the way, and let go of the fears and doubts that hold you down. It can feel like you’re defying gravity when, in fact, you’re just playing with it.
When I first started teaching, my regulars could count on me throwing Crow Pose into the mix fairly early on, without a whole lot of preliminaries. I’d get the body integrated and warmed up, then I’d start the flying lessons. One of the reasons I did this was for the energetic benefit of an arm balance early in the practice. Another reason I did it is my fourth big reason for loving Crow:
- There’s some many places you can go! In Light On Yoga, B. K. S. Iyengar suggests that advanced students move into the arm balance** from Salamba Sirsasana II (Supported “Tripod” Headstand). If however, your Tripod is in it’s early stages and you’re still developing the core strength to lift the legs, then a great practice is mindfully moving from Crow into the first stage of Tripod (with knees on the forearms) – and then back again. You can also use Crow as the prep for Crane** and a number of other arm balances. Plus, there’s the ever popular practice of “floating” into Chaturanga.
Even though one of my favorite teaching moments was guiding a high school football coach into a full expression of Crow, after he’d said he was too heavy to do it, I’ve spent more time focused on the energetic and emotional aspects of getting into the pose than on the physical. Last year, however, I tried out a Rodney Yee video featuring hip openers and arm balances. The video introduced me to some new ways of getting into the pose. It was also a big light bulb moment, that flashed me back to teacher training: legs and hips are as much a part of the key to demystifying this pose as the heart, core, and breath – not to mention the arms.
Jason Crandell’s 30-Minute Peak Pose Sequence leading to Bakasana (Crow Pose**) beautifully opens up the body on a physical level. A good portion of the video focused on the hips and the leg muscles connected to the hips. There was also a good deal of core and arm engagement, plus some upper back opening. Unfortunately, there were also some technical difficulties – which left my body a little cold and my arms burning (from holding plank poses after a full day teaching them). One thing I will say about this sequence and the way Crandell guides it, however, is that when I was moving through it, I was building heat.
The downside to the downloading issues a lot of people experienced on Day 12 was partially canceled out, in my book, by the fact that I had to keep repeating (and holding!!!) the poses in the first 4 minutes of the video. So, my hip flexors were seriously flexed. This made my legs super ready for the deep seated meditation I did after practicing with the video. Another plus, to the unfortunate technology problems: I found another Yoga Journal video featuring Jason Crandell opening up the hips. Boy am I looking forward to that!
Day 12 was one of those days when I wished I could have downloaded the video and practiced it away from my computer. Instead, I started the day with my mini-meditation and then practiced the sequence I was going to teach. I was a little hungry and super tired when I arrived home, but it felt really good to do this video sequence. As far as my outer body was concerned, I was ready to rock the 18-Minute Meditation. Internally, however, I was a wreck. This was my worse meditating day yet. Every 5 minutes, or so, I had to remind myself to sit still, sit up, and stop thinking/day dreaming/planning/remembering….Of course, the fact that I kept pulling myself back to the moment and back to the meditation makes it a success in the practice column.
**NOTE: In vinyasa and many other hatha yoga practices, Crow Pose is an arm balance where the arms are bent, a la Chaturanga, and the knees rest on the forearms (or are tucked into the armpits). This is the pose featured in the Day 12 video. Crane Pose is a similar arm balance where the arms are straight. Bakasana is a Sanskrit word for Crane Pose, but is often used in the West for Crow Pose – which, in Sanskrit, would be Kakasana. Some traditions make the distinction between the two poses, their names, and the birds they resemble. Of course, the more traditions you explore, the more translations you find – and the more poses you find. For example, “Flying Frog” is a modification where the knees/legs are outside the arms, squeezing in. And, even though actual cranes aren’t scientifically related to actual herons (or actual crows), I’ve heard Heron Pose (a seated pose) referred to as Crane Pose.
~ NAMASTE ~
Seekers and Teachers on Day 10 January 20, 2011
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Day 10
“As the two of us stretched and shared for 90 minutes each morning, I’d get the strangest feeling that there were four of us there, two teachers and two students: me teaching Dolly yoga techniques, Dolly teaching me the value of laughter, spontaneity, nonjudgement, trust – and so much more. Then we’d slip out of our roles and slip into meditation, the four of us becoming two, becoming one.”
– Robbie Williams in an article about teaching yoga to Country & Western musicians (Yoga Journal, Nov-Dec 1984)
We are all seekers; we come to yoga for different reasons. A lot of times we come because we want to fix something – physically, mentally, or emotionally – and either a doctor or someone we admire has recommended yoga. Sometimes we want the practice to be magical, miraculous even – and sometimes it feels like it. Ultimately, however, the desired results come when someone practices a series or a pose, for an extended period of time, without attachment to the outcome.
Lessons about continuous practice (abhyasa) without attachment (vairagya) are found in the Yoga Sutras (I:12 – 15). These lessons are also found in every class room, where the seekers become the teachers. And I’m not just talking about the people who lead the practice; I’m talking about the so-called “students” who come back, again and again, week after week, day after day. The people who inspire others because of their devotion and enthusiasm for the practice, these are the teachers in the room.
The fact that we are all seekers, as well as teachers, was the message from my morning practice and the classes I taught today. The focus was on being guided by the ultimate teacher, the teacher who is within. I could have easily quoted Rainer Maria Rilke for this class, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to celebrate the Dolly Lama’s birthday!
I can’t exactly call myself an uber-fan when it comes to Dolly Parton, but I like her and I can’t imagine being in a room with her for two seconds and not smiling. I also can’t imagine being a room with her for two minutes and not laughing. Plus, she’s inspiring. She is unapologetic about where she comes from, what she looks like, or how she sounds. There’s a lesson in that. She believes in having fun and being passionate about something. There’s a lesson in that. She’s also a lesson in giving and in looking within for the answers we seek. That last part is key, because (again) we are our own ultimate teacher. We just have to take the time to do a little self-study.
The videos for days 8, 9, and 10 of the Yoga Journal 21-Day Challenge were the same sequences presented on the first three days of the challenge. Repeating sequences is great opportunity to turn inward, do that little bit of self-studying, and note how the sequences felt this week compared to last week. For anyone keeping track, it’s interesting to note how other activities affect the way we feel while practicing the asanas. Last week, for instance, I did a lot of upper body work and some fairly intense core work in my classes. I also meditated and ate after the practice. When I got to Rebecca Urban’s core sequence on the evening of Day 3, I appreciated it, but I barely felt it. This week, I had fewer classes and the sequence I taught (and practiced) had a little more intense arm balancing. Most of the abdominal work came from laughing – which means the 60-minute class got more than me or the 45-minute class. Also, I ate dinner several hours before I meditated and then practicing with the video. The end result? This week I really felt it.
Again, I’m looking forward to repeating this sequence – and maybe putting it together with another sequence. (I have it on good authority that Day 11 is different from Day 4, so maybe I’ll wait before I start mixing and matching.) Another thing I’ve noted is that the sequences so far have been very bottom heavy, meaning the emphasis has been on the lower body. Heaven knows it’s great to prepare the hips and legs for deep seated meditation, but more and more I’m noting how intensely engaged my back muscles have to be to hold a seated position for an extended period of time. Even though I see people in my classes, all the time, slumped over while in Sukhasana – and even though I remind them to engage their core muscles (back and front) in order to support a lifted heart – I’ve never been as aware of the engagement in my own mediation practice as I have been this week. Perhaps it’s because I’m meditating more and for longer periods of time. Either way, I’m curious to see how I would feel if I did this core sequence in the early morning and then went directly into my meditation.
I guess there’s only one way to find out. And, in the end, that is the lesson we come back to again and again in yoga: you have to practice, for a continued period of time, without interruption and without attachment.
~ Honor what is within you, and all around you, Namaste ~
Once More Into The Breach, Dear Friends, It’s Day 8! January 18, 2011
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“In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:”
– William Shakespeare’s Henry V (I:3)
For most of the first week of the Yoga Journal 21-Day Challenge, I was house sitting for a friend. I had tons of space, tons of quiet, and two computers in the room where I practiced the video sequences. didn’t have to worry about disturbing anyone, or about being disturbed. The cat and I did not compete for the shower. It was a peaceful way to practice. Yes, the volume was an issue, as was the height of the desk when I was lying on the floor, but I didn’t have any downloading issues and all was good. Despite the fact that I was a little off staying in a new place and working out the logistics of traveling to and from a different home base, it was pretty relaxing. It was almost like a retreat – a retreat with a great view and some really good yoga teachers.
Fast forward to Monday, Day 8 of the challenge. As much as I enjoyed practices led by teachers I had never met, I was itching for a real class with a real live, real time, teacher. Truth be told, I was also itching for something familiar. I got myself geared up to take a class from a teacher who has also been my student and whose class I had sorely missed because of my work schedule during the holidays. I walked into the studio and discovered there was a sub. Still, I was excited, because the sub was someone I’d met and from whom I had hoped to take a class. The schedule just hadn’t worked out.
As the class started, my body warmed up; my mind focused on the breath; and the movement; I smiled some and I was glad to be right there, right then. Suddenly, about midway through the Sun Salutations, I found myself in the middle of a “let go of what you know” moment. Or maybe, instead of calling it a moment, I should call it a battle. Or a war.
My breath stayed steady throughout the practice. However, as we proceeded my body felt more and more out of balance; my mind started to fluctuate; and I couldn’t let go of the sensation that things were going downhill fast. Watching me, the teacher probably had no idea I was fighting – and failing – to stay on my mat. As I made my way through some fairly challenging asanas, I doubt anyone in the room was aware that I just wanted to shout, “Are you kidding me?!?!” and then storm out of the room.
Contrary to what I wrote yesterday, I didn’t do what I knew would work for me and I didn’t go into an extended Child’s Pose. I wanted to move. I wanted to be open to the moment. So, I took the suggestions, as they were given, until we got to the final supine twist. Then, I just had to do what I had to do: I twisted to the left first, instead of the right. I settled into Savasana, feeling fairly confident that there was a method to the teacher’s “madness” – as well as a message I would have appreciated if it had come by way of a different method. I also realized I hadn’t done myself any favors by being resistant to what was being offered, as it was being offered.
Leaving the studio, my body felt a little cranky and I found myself staring into space. I joked to one of my students that all the “Shoveling Snow Pose” I had to do that afternoon wouldn’t leave me incapacitated, but that the class I took might. Two hours later, when every step felt like someone was poking a cattle prod in my right buttocks, I was no longer laughing. I was trying to figure out how I was going to restore myself.
Even though I didn’t preview any of the videos during Week 1, I was fairly certain the Week 2 videos were in the same order. I was looking forward to doing the Day 1 sequence again, just to see how it would feel after all the other sequences. At least, that’s how I felt before the cattle prod sensation. Afterward, I started reconsidering my options. Part of me really wanted to just flow on my own or stream a vinyasa practice from a teacher with whom I’m familiar. Another part of me really wanted to do the video sequence from Day 4, Day 5, or Day 6 of the challenge. I even considered Day 2, even though it was going to be evening before I could practice. Ultimately, however, I decided to give the sequence from Day 7 another shot. It had, after all, the elements I needed to fix what ailed me.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get to the practice until after I left the “retreat.” I had to make space to heal and restore. The tub was less than appealing. And, I hadn’t counted on having problems with the download. I decided it was all for the good. Repeating a section until the video unfroze worked until I realized I was cold – therefore not doing my stiff muscles any favors – and needed to do more. So, based on what I remembered about the video, I started throwing in restorative postures I knew would fit with the sequence and which would help my cranky low back and hips. Throw in a little Supine Pigeon here, a little Supta Padangusthasana there, some twisting and hip flexing, plus Ananstasana Thirty minutes later, the video had only progressed through 11 minutes of the recorded sequence and I was still cold. I did Legs-Up-The Wall, considered staying there for the 18-Minute So Hum meditation, and then decided to do shift into Savasana. There was just no way I could sit for that long and wasn’t sure it was a good time to do an inversion for that long, even a mild one. Once again, I set my alarm for the wrong time and went over.
Oh well, it’s just another day on the mat. In the end, I got through it and I feel peace.
A Joyful Practice 