Reflections on Patience & “Treats” (the post practice Monday post) ** UPDATED w/extra excerpt** March 3, 2025
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in 19-Day Fast, Baha'i, Bhakti, Changing Perspectives, Dharma, Faith, Food, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Lent / Great Lent, Life, Meditation, Mysticism, One Hoop, Peace, Philosophy, Ramadan, Religion, Science, Suffering, Vairagya, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: 19-Day Fast, 988, Alexander Graham Bell, Baháʼí, Deaf Culture, Feast Day of Saint Katharine, Great Lent, Lundi Gras, Mahatma Gandhi Canadian Foundation for World Peace, mental health, Office of Prevention of Blindness and Deafness, Patience, Ramaḍān, Ramadan, Saint Katharine, Season for Nonviolence, shenpa, Shrove Monday, Shrovetide, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thich Nhat Hanh, Who HQ, World Health Organization, World Hearing Day, Worldwide Baháʼí Community, Yoga Sutra 1.35
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“Ramadān Mubarak, Blessed Ramaḍān!” to anyone observing the holy month of Ramaḍān. Many blessings to all, and especially to those celebrating and/or observing the Baháʼí 19-Day Fast, Great Lent, and/or Carnival/Lundi Gras/Shrove Monday on World Hearing Day!
Peace, ease, and patience to all, throughout this “Season for Nonviolence” and all other seasons!
This post-practice compilation for Monday, March 3rd features new and previously posted content, as well as excerpts. Links to external websites are marked accordingly. The 2025 prompt question was, “What is your favorite indulgence?” (Bonus question was, “How patient are you?” You can request an audio recording of this practice or a previous practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).
Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.
“Patience and passion both come from a Latin word meaning to suffer or endure. Whenever we practice patience – cheerfully bearing with somebody who is irascible, or enduring discomfort rather than imposing it on others – we are embracing those principles and creating an opportunity to model nonviolence. By practicing patience we can respond rather than react, and by doing so, stay centered and at peace. There is only one way to create a nonviolent world, and that is by being nonviolent ourselves.”
— quoted from the “Reflection” section of the “Day 32 ~ March 3 ~ Patience” page for the “Season for Nonviolence,” provided by the Mahatma Gandhi Canadian Foundation for World Peace
Take a moment to consider the moments when you are most impatient. What are the causes and conditions? Are the certain people (or a certain person) that always seems to push your buttons? Are there people (or a particular person) to whom you extend a lot of grace and, therefore a lot of patience? Finally, how much patience do you have for yourself?
I find that I am the most impatient with myself and others when I am “hangry”; when I feel as if I (or someone I admire) is making an avoidable mistake; when I am not feeling heard/understood; and/or when I am not hearing/understanding someone else. I also see impatience arising in others for the same reasons and sometimes a perfect storm occurs and all of these things happen at once.
2024 EXCERPT (revised): “Anger and the Importance of Having ‘Treats’ Before You Speak”
I tend to think of impatience as being akin to frustration and it is important to remember that anger and frustration, fear, grief, worry, and anxiety are all normal human emotions. In fact, many Eastern philosophies, like Yoga and Taoism, consider everything — including our emotions — as manifestations of energy.
The aforementioned philosophies (and their corresponding sciences) view energy as being in or out of balance, stagnate or circulating. Since energy that is in balance and flowing appropriately is still the same energy, simply manifesting in a different way, every emotion has a near-peer and an opposite. In fact, we are often encouraged to cultivate the opposite(s) in order to flip or change the energy. For instance, the flip side of anger and frustration is kindness. So, if you are feeling angry or frustrated, doing something loving and kind — for yourself and/or someone else — can change the dynamic inside of you and all around you.
According to Patanjali’s Yoga Sūtras, when someone is “firmly grounded in non-injury (ahimsa), other people who come near will naturally lose any feelings of hostility.” (YS 1.35) That sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Well, full disclosure, I am not there yet. Sometimes my buttons get pushed and — despite staying mindful and practicing the four R’s and other mindfulness-based techniques — I think, say, or do something that contributes to someone’s suffering. Sometimes, I am the “someone” and everyone else just goes about their business. But, sometimes my actions contribute to the suffering of someone other than myself.
Forewarned is forearmed. So, if we know the causes and conditions exist for us to be irritated, we can take steps to cultivate patience. It is helpful to pause, take a breath, & maybe ask for (or offer) forgiveness. It can also help too indulge in a “treat” (or two).
Most people have go-to foods and/or beverages that could be considered their comfort food. However, sometimes the best “treat” is found on the mat or on the cushion. Just taking some time to sit and breathe can be loving and kind. For that matter, sometimes the “treat” can be found in the pews — especially if we are in the process of giving up certain treats.
“Anger is like a howling baby, suffering and crying. The baby needs his mother to embrace him. You are the mother for your baby, your anger. The moment you begin to practice breathing mindfully in and out, you have the energy of a mother, to cradle and embrace the baby. Just embracing your anger, just breathing in and breathing out, that is good enough. The baby will feel relief right away.”
— quoted from “Two – Putting Out the Fire of Anger: Embracing Anger with the Sunshine of Mindfulness” in Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
In addition to being the third day of the Baháʼí 19-Day Fast and also of the holy month of Ramaḍān, this Monday was also an auspicious time in the various Christian traditions.
In the Western Christian tradition, the Monday before Lent may be known as Shrove Monday by people already focusing on “shriving”. Shrovetide, which includes the three weeks before Lent, is a period of self-examination, repentance, and amendments of sins. Similarly, in Eastern Orthodox traditions which use a different calendar, this Monday marks the beginning of Great Lent is sometimes referred to as Clean Monday.
On the flipside, some people will spend this same period of time — anything from three weeks to two or three days — focusing on indulging in the things they are planning to give up during Lent. For instance, the Monday before Lent is also the last Monday of Carnival (in some Western Christian communities). In places like New Orleans and other parts of the Gulf Coast, it is also known as Lundi Gras (“Fat Monday”). Rose Monday, Merry Monday, and Hall Monday are also names associated with pre-Lenten festivities around the world. In parts of the United Kingdom, people may refer to this day as Collap Monday, because their traditional breakfast will include collaps (leftover slabs of meat, like bacon) and eggs. In east Cornwall, however, people traditionally eat pea soup and, therefore, call today Peasen (or Paisen) Monday.
Each name reflects what people value and, more importantly, each name reflects the different actions people are taking in order to fulfill their mission or serve the purpose in life. Additionally, the backstories associated with the Lenten season, the Baháʼí 19-Day Fast, and the holy month of Ramaḍān are all about getting ready for a change and for a deeper relationship with the Divine (whatever that means to you at this moment).
HEARING/UNDERSTANDING & BEING HEARD/UNDERSTOOD
“Every time a Manifestation of God appears, a fuller measure of inspiration for the next stage in the awakening and progress of humanity is released into the world. A human being—ordinary in every outward respect—is called to be a mouthpiece for God. One may call to mind Moses standing before the Burning Bush, the Buddha receiving enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, the Holy Spirit descending upon Jesus in the form of a dove, or the archangel Gabriel appearing to Muḥammad.”
— quoted from the “Introduction” section of “Bahá’u’lláh – The Divine Educator” on The Official Website of the Worldwide Baháʼí Community (https://www.bahai.org)
According to every story about every divine messenger, prophet, or spiritual leader, there is a calling and, also, a period of reflection and preparation. This preparation period puts an “ordinary” person in a position to literally and figuratively hear and understand the message from the Divine. We can look at the story of Moses — or even Arjun in the Bhagavad Gita (Song of the Lord) — and notice that the message is not always automatically and instantaneously understood or believed. We can do a little svādhyāya (“self-study”) and imagine that we might feel confusion, fear, awe, disbelief… maybe even a little frustration and impatience.
Up until now, I have mostly been talking in the metaphorical and figurative sense; but, take a moment to consider what happens when we literally and physically can’t hear or have a hard time hearing. It is something that happens to billions of people every year and there is no time period that prepares us to hear (and understand) in those situations. However, there is a time when we can get our hearing checked; take measures to prevent hearing loss; invest in tools, aids, and technology that enhances our hearing; and/or learn a new language. That time is now.
The Office of Prevention of Blindness and Deafness of the World Health Organization (WHO) designated March 3rd as World Hearing Day. Celebrated annually, it is an opportunity “for raising awareness regarding hearing loss and promoting ear and hearing care, and calling for action to address hearing loss and related issues.” In addition to various events hosted by WHO and partner organization, the WHO website has a HearWho app that “gives the general public access to a hearing screener to check their hearing status and monitor it over time….clearly [displays] the users’ results and keeps a personalized track record of their hearing status over time.”
“Changing mindsets: empower yourself to make ear and hearing care a reality for all”
— The 2025 theme for World Hearing Day
2025 UPDATE: World Hearing Day coincides with the anniversary of the birth of Alexander Graham (b. 1847), which is also the feast day of Saint Katharine (Drexel) (d.1955) Click on the excerpt title below for more about their lives.
Liminal, Lofty, & Rare Days – Redux (the “missing” Friday post)
There is no playlist for the Common Ground Meditation Center practices.
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
### A Little Patience Goes A Long Way ###
Re: Culture (the “missing” Saturday post, **with extra banned books**) September 28, 2024
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Art, Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Gratitude, Healing Stories, Life, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Movies, Music, One Hoop, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Twin Cities, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: 988, American Library Association, Ana Sofia Gala, Banned Books Week, Candlewick Press, culture, Deaf Culture, Elizabeth “Liz” Harris, International Week of Deaf People (IWDP), John Jacob Raub, Jon Urquart, Martin Handford, Maurice Sendak, Office of Intellectual Freedom, samskaras, samskāras, United States Mint, Ursula Nordstrom, Webster's 1828, World Federation of the Deaf (WFD), YMCA, Zachary / Our Signed World
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone cultivating friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom during International Week of the Deaf and during Banned Books Week.
Stay safe! Live well! Hydrate and nourish your heart, body, and mind.
This is the “missing” post for Saturday, September 28th. Some embedded links direct to sites outside of this blog. This post references 3 banned books and contains related quotes. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).
Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.
“The God asked Adam: ‘Who told you that you were naked?’ (Gn 3:11). That is, ‘Who told you that you were bad? Who told you that you were not what you should be …Humanity, who told you that you were separated from me, that you were guilty?’ In asking Adam, ‘Who told you that you were naked,’ God was asking a fundamental question, one that we will discuss…. We will discuss judging, guilt and fear of punishment and how this leads to self-punishment which is the essence of sins.”
— quoted from the Introduction of Who Told You That You Were Naked?: Freedom from Judgment, Guilt and Fear of Punishment by John Jacob Raub
Here is one of the underlying (and motivating) questions related to the 2024 Saturday practices: Why do we think, say, and do the things we do (or don’t do)?
The answer to this question is really layers upon layers of experiences, which I sometimes reference as samskāra (“mental impression”). However, what may not always be clear in my overly-simplified-for-the-practice breakdown is that our actions can be informed by our experiences as well as the experiences of others — and sometimes those “others” are people we have never met and can never met. Sometimes those “others” are actually our ancestors and the ancestors of those around us; because they (and we) all contribute to our cultures.
Wikipedia defines culture, in the social sense, as “a concept that encompasses the social behavior, institutions, and norms found in human societies, as well as the knowledge, beliefs, arts, laws, customs, capabilities, and habits of the individuals in these groups.” Culture includes language, ideas, beliefs, customs, codes of conduct, institutions, tools, techniques, works of art, rituals, traditions, ceremonies, food, and other elements. Culture also includes expectations, norms, mores, and values. Since each of us is part of multiple groups, each of us has multiple cultures.
We have our family cultures plus the cultures of every other group to which we belong: including (but not limited to) the cultures related our abilities (mental and physical), age, education, ethnicity, gender, generation, nationality, race, religion, occupation, sex, sexuality, and vocations. Keep in mind that there can be — and usually are — regional/location differences within each culture. For instance, certain expectations around online yoga practices are slightly different than if you practiced yoga with me in-person at a studio, the YMCA, or the meditation center — all of which have different cultures. Similarly, if you observe a certain faith and go to a meeting hall, temple, synagogue, church, or mosque related to your faith anywhere in the world you will find some aspects of the culture that are familiar; however, you will also find some differences.
Sometimes, the differences can seem really minute. Sometimes they can be a big deal. And, sometimes, they can be really funny (while also, maybe, being a big deal). For instance, you might say, “Break a leg” to someone going on stage for a theatre performance… unless they were a ballet dancer (in which case you would wish them, “Merde” (which French for “shit”).
“First things first: there is a big difference between the medical and cultural definition of deafness. From the medical point of view, it is a disability caused by hearing loss, which can happen at any moment in life. Now, from the cultural perspective, it is a different way to experience life not based on sounds. Usually, these two concepts are differentiated between people who are deaf (medically) and Deaf (culturally).
Today, 13% of the United States’ population are deaf or hearing impaired. However, not all of them identify with the deaf culture.”
— quoted from the Hand Talk article entitled, “Deaf culture: what is it, history, aspects, examples & facts” by Ana Sofia Gala
“Saturday 28 September 2024: Deaf Culture Celebrations
Celebrating the rich cultural heritage of the deaf communities through our sign languages and cultures. Deaf Culture involves the behaviours, traditions, beliefs, values, history, humour, art that exists within Deaf communities. We are proud of our linguistic and cultural identities. Sign up for Sign Language rights by hosting an event today that demonstrates the rich cultures of our deaf communities.”
— quoted from the “Daily Themes” page of the World Federation of the Deaf website
Today (Saturday, September 28th), the sixth day of International Week of the Deaf (IWD), is dedicated to celebrating Deaf Culture, which includes sign languages and, also, expectations around the usage of sign languages. Just like with any other community, some aspects of the culture within the Deaf community overlap with aspects of the culture of the region. Then, there are some aspects that are unique to people who are in the Deaf community and, also, things that are unique to the different communities that use the different sign languages. In addition to the sign languages, Deaf culture includes the recognition that sign language is a valid, important, and powerful form of communication; storytelling; facial expressions and expressive motion (used in tandem with the words); and identity (which includes sign names). That identity piece is really important when we remember that there is a medical definition that is different from the cultural definition; that sign languages have a history in education; and that Children of Deaf Adults (CODA) are part of culture.
For many, part of the culture is also about being able to exist alongside of the “hearing world,” without having to assimilating into it. There is also etiquette around eye contact (and, in some places, around eavesdropping). While a person outside of the Deaf community may think people who are deaf are missing something, people within the culture are very much aware of their “gains” (i.e., positive experiences that are unique to being Deaf).
Click here if the video of Liz Harris is not visible on your device.
Finally, just like with any other community, there are jokes.
Click here if the video of Jon Urquhart is not visible on your device.
While I thought the modern, social use, of the word “culture” was a modern invention, the (Western) idea actual dates back to the 17th century (CE) and has roots in the 1st century Roman empire (BCE). According to Noah Webster’s 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language, “We ought to blame the culture not the soil.” Granted, that sentence was used in the dictionary to better explain the word “culture” as it relates to agriculture; however, I think it can also be applied to here: to social culture. If we pay attention the methods of cultivating a society, we start to to notice what grows and what doesn’t grow. We start to see why some people view some things as acceptable and other things as not acceptable — which brings me to the fact that today was also the seventh day of Banned Books Week (September 22–28, 2024).
Hopefully, it goes without saying that I don’t believe in book bans. Do I have my preferences? Of course! Just like everyone else, I definitely wish I didn’t have to deal with things that negatively impact me — and, by that, I mean things that encourage people to be hateful and/or violent. However, I also believe everyone has a right to tell their story and that every adult has a right to read or not read that story. Furthermore, I believe in authors, publishers, libraries, and teachers recommending appropriate materials for appropriate age levels — which they do, because that’s their jobs. I believe parents and guardians have a responsibility to review materials to see if it is appropriate for their child, keeping in mind that restricting information can sometimes do more harm than good (especially in this internet age). I think they also have the responsibility — along with authors, publishers, libraries, and teachers — to provide some context around the subject matter. Of course, I grew up in a household (and in communities) where we shared books and talked about those books.
Finally, I think it is irresponsible to not do all of the above — just as I believe it is irresponsible to force your desires on another.
This week, I intentionally highlighted banned books that I have read (because books are often challenged by people who have not read the books they are challenging). For better or for worse, I also selected books that I could understand (on a certain level) why someone challenged. In other words, I picked books that a good faith argument could convince me should be reviewed by an adult before it is read by a child or young adult (see above). That being said, the books I selected ended up having some commonalities. For instance, the banned books I quoted on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are often challenged for the same reasons. In all three cases, the books referenced and/or depicted things that are culturally abhorrent around the world — like the assault of a child. But, there were also objections around the depictions and/or criticisms of different cultures. Finally, there was material related to something almost everyone fears: death/loss.
The banned books I selected for Saturday (really, related to Friday and Saturday) are different from the other books. First, I’m not sure that a good faith argument that will convince me they should be banned (in most of the United States). Second, they are different because they are children’s books. Finally, they aren’t challenged because of their words; they are challenged because of their pictures. Both books have pictures of someone without their clothes.
Which takes us back to the original questions, specifically: Who told you nudity was bad? Who told you there was something wrong with your body?
“I’m not the milk and the milk’s not me. I’m Mickey!”
— Mickey, quoted from In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
Every culture around the world has different expectations around nudity. In some places, there is nothing wrong with a baby, toddler, or young child (of any gender) running around without their clothes. In some places, sex and gender become a factor in determining how much nudity (if any) is acceptable and how much is taboo. Finally, there are communities where being clothed (partially or entirely) is not part of the culture. All of this is why, when I celebrate the work of Maurice Sendak, in June, I scoff a little at the fact that people object to toddler Mickey not having on any clothes when he falls In the Night Kitchen.
After all, kids that age “fall out” of their clothes all the time.
Additionally, as Ursula Nordstrom, publisher and editor-in-chief of Harper Junior Books pointed out, little kids are not bothered by the fact that Mickey doesn’t have any clothes. Why aren’t they bothered? Because no one has taught them there is anything wrong with a toddler not having on their clothes in the middle of the night. Correction: No one has taught them that there is anything sinful about a toddler not having on their clothes.
Now, we can get into the question of if (or when) children should be taught that they need to wear clothes — at home and/or in public — and we can even get into a conversation of the reasons they need their clothes. But, keep in mind, it all comes back to culture and culture is different in different countries. In some countries, nude sunbathing — or, just sunbathing topless — is not that big of a deal. Pretty much everyone does it. In other places, people drew underwear on all the illustrations of Mickey… and banned another book until the publisher reprinted the book to hide 1/16 (0.0625) of an inch of nudity.
Thickness of U. S. penny: 1.52 mm (0.060 in)
Thickness of U. S. quarter: 1.75 mm (0.069 in)
— dimensions quoted from the United States Mint
Martin Handford, born September 27, 1956, is the British author and illustrator of a series of illustrated puzzle books. Originally published in the UK as Where’s Wally? (on September 21, 1987), the series features a guy in red and white stripes who is in the middle of a crowd that covers two pages. The goal is to find him (and his friends) in each illustration. As the book progresses, the guy gets harder and harder to find in part because he gets smaller and in part because there are more people (and things) in the drawings. On average, he is 0.153 square inches (0.99 square centimeters) big in the first book; which means he is slightly bigger than that in the second scene, the controversial scene: “One the Beach.”
When the book was published in the US, as Where’s Waldo?, someone noticed that the illustration shows a mischievous child putting ice cream on the back of a woman who had untied her bikini top while she was sunbathing. Of course, the cold makes the women jump up, exposing herself to the people across from her. As for the person looking at the book… well, if you look real close, you can see the side of one of her breasts. According to the American Library Association (ALA), Where’s Waldo? was the 87th most challenged book in the 1990’s. It fell off of the list after that, presumably because the publisher moved that teeny tiny green bikini — a strip slightly larger than the side of penny, but a tad bit smaller than the side of a quarter.
“‘I can’t tell you how pleased I am that Waldo has taken on a life of his own,’ [Martin Handford] says. ‘I’d like to inspire children to open their minds to explore subjects more, to be aware of what’s going on around them. I’d like them to see wonder in places that may not have occurred to them.’”
— quoted from the Candlewick Press page for Where’s Waldo? The Fantastic Journey (by author/illustrator: Martin Handford)
BONUS BANNED BOOK:
According to the ALA, the Holy Bible — consisting of the Hebrew Bible/Christian Old Testament and the Christian New Testament — was the 52nd most challenged title from 2010-2019. The most common reasons for the challenges were “religious viewpoint, violence.” I find it interesting to note that, again, the Bible contains some of the same (aforementioned) themes for which other books are banned — like assault.
I also find it interesting, as I mentioned throughout the week, that people are more interested in figuring out ways to stop the story than they are in stopping the harmful actions.
Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “06102020 Here Be The Wild Things”]
MUSIC NOTE: YouTube is the original playlist and includes a video you can find at the end of the related post.
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk,you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
As a “thank you,” for sticking with this post, here’s a bonus ASL video! Don’t click if you are offended by strong language.
Click here if the video of Zach (of Our Signed World) is not visible on your device. Again, don’t click if you are offended by strong language.