FTWMI: The Grace of Breathing Into How You’re Feeling & EXCERPT: “Breathe Into How You’re Feeling” October 28, 2025
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Art, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Suffering, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: 988, Ben Harper, Brad Paisley, Elvis Presley, meditation, pranayama, Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky, Robert Greenberg, sensation, Vladimir “Bob” Davydov, Wally George, yoga
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone cultivating friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom.
Peace in / Peace out. Grace in / Grace out.
For Those Who Missed It: The following was originally posted in 2023 (and revised in 2024). Class details and links have been updated.
“If this symphony is misunderstood, and torn to shreds, I shall think it quite normal, and not at all surprising. It will not be the first time. But I myself absolutely believe it to be the best and especially the most sincere of all my works. I love it as I have never loved any single one of my other musical creations.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his nephew Vladimir “Bob” Davydov as posted in “Music History Monday: His Own Requiem?” by Robert Greenberg
How are you feeling today?
Perhaps you are feeling a lot. Perhaps you are feeling one emotion strongly — or a combination of strong emotions. Perhaps you are feeling so much that you are overwhelmed and feeling numb… as if you are feeling nothing.
No matter what you are feeling, take a moment to breathe into what you are feeling.
There is grace in that breath and the ability to breathe into what you are feeling.
Note, that I have not indicated or suggested that what you are feeling is positive, negative, or neutral; good, bad, or neutral. However, there’s a pretty good chance that you assigned a value to the idea of strong feelings, emotions. That’s what we do as humans. That’s one (really three… or six) of the reasons why sensations can be experienced in 108 different ways according to some Eastern philosophies.
PRACTICE NOTE: The 2024 practice focused more on breath and sensations/feelings/vibrations. Previous practices on this date have highlighted musicians born on this date (in 1969 and 1962) who really moved people and/or musical events that emotionally “shook” people. For example, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74, known as “The Passionate Symphony,” premiered today in 1893 (according to the Gregorian calendar) and Elvis Presley performed the first of two shows at the Pan Pacific Auditorium in Los Angeles, California, today in 1957.
Click on the excerpt title below to learn about some of the conspiracy theories related to Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky and his music.
“‘What’s your emotional power over women?’ demanded one obviously influenced female reporter.
‘Gosh…’ replied Elvis, whispering something inaudible into a mike provided for the occasion.”
— quoted from the 1957 article “Elvis Wiggles, Fans Scream at Pan-Pacific” by Wally George
Please join me today (Tuesday, October 28th) at 12:00 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into in the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10282020 Feeling Pathétique?”]
NOTE: The playlist primarily focuses on Tchaikovsky; but, I finally added some before/after music related to Elvis and some musicians born on this date.
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).
Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.
### AIN’T NOTHING… ###
FTWMI: The Grace of Breathing Into How You’re Feeling (revised with an excerpt as a post-practice Monday post) October 28, 2024
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Art, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Suffering, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: Ben Harper, Brad Paisley, Elvis Presley, pranayama, prāņāyāma, Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky, Robert Greenberg, sensation, Vladimir “Bob” Davydov, Wally George
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone cultivating friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom.
Peace in / Peace out. Grace in / Grace out.
For Those Who Missed It: This post-practice post related to the practice on Monday, October 28th was originally posted in 2023. The 2024 prompt question was, “What is on your mind (and how are you feeling?) You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).
Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.
“If this symphony is misunderstood, and torn to shreds, I shall think it quite normal, and not at all surprising. It will not be the first time. But I myself absolutely believe it to be the best and especially the most sincere of all my works. I love it as I have never loved any single one of my other musical creations.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his nephew Vladimir “Bob” Davydov as posted in “Music History Monday: His Own Requiem?” by Robert Greenberg
How are you feeling today?
Perhaps you are feeling a lot. Perhaps you are feeling one emotion strongly — or a combination of strong emotions. Perhaps you are feeling so much that you are overwhelmed and feeling numb… as if you are feeling nothing.
No matter what you are feeling, take a moment to breathe into what you are feeling.
There is grace in that breath and the ability to breathe into what you are feeling.
Note, that I have not indicated or suggested that what you are feeling is positive, negative, or neutral; good, bad, or neutral. However, there’s a pretty good chance that you assigned a value to the idea of strong feelings, emotions. That’s what we do as humans. That’s one (really three… or six) of the reasons why sensations can be experienced in 108 different ways according to some Eastern philosophies.
2024 PRACTICE NOTE: This year’s practice focused more on breath and sensations/feelings/vibrations. Previous practices on this date have highlighted musicians born on this date (in 1969 and 1962) who really moved people and/or musical events that emotionally “shook” people. For example, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74, known as “The Passionate Symphony,” premiered today in 1893 (according to the Gregorian calendar) and Elvis Presley performed the first of two shows at the Pan Pacific Auditorium in Los Angeles, California, today in 1957.
Click on the excerpt title below to learn about some of the conspiracy theories related to Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky and his music.
There is no playlist for the Common Ground Meditation Center practices.
The 2020/2023 playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10282020 Feeling Pathétique?”]
NOTE: The playlist is currently focused on Tchaikovsky; but, I plan to add some before/after music related to Elvis and some musicians born on this date.
“‘What’s your emotional power over women?’ demanded one obviously influenced female reporter.
‘Gosh…’ replied Elvis, whispering something inaudible into a mike provided for the occasion.”
— quoted from the 1957 article “Elvis Wiggles, Fans Scream at Pan-Pacific” by Wally George
### AIN’T NOTHING… ###
The Grace of Breathing Into How You’re Feeling October 28, 2023
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Art, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Suffering, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: Elvis Presley, Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky, Robert Greenberg, Vladimir “Bob” Davydov, Wally George
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Peace in / Peace out. Grace in / Grace out.
“If this symphony is misunderstood, and torn to shreds, I shall think it quite normal, and not at all surprising. It will not be the first time. But I myself absolutely believe it to be the best and especially the most sincere of all my works. I love it as I have never loved any single one of my other musical creations.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his nephew Vladimir “Bob” Davydov as posted in “Music History Monday: His Own Requiem?” by Robert Greenberg
How are you feeling today?
Perhaps you are feeling a lot. Perhaps you are feeling one emotion strongly — or a combination of strong emotions. Perhaps you are feeling so much that you are overwhelmed and feeling numb… as if you are feeling nothing.
No matter what you are feeling, take a moment to breathe into what you are feeling.
There is grace in that breath and the ability to breathe into what you are feeling.
Note, that I have not indicated or suggested that what you are feeling is positive, negative, or neutral; good, bad, or neutral. However, there’s a pretty good chance that you assigned a value to the idea of strong feelings, emotions. That’s what we do as humans. That’s one (really three… or six) of the reasons why sensations can be experienced in 108 different ways according to some Eastern philosophies. It is also one of the things that was happening in 1893 and in 1957, when two very different musicians emotionally “shook” people.
Click here to learn about the conspiracy related to Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74, known as “The Passionate Symphony,” which premiered today in 1893 (according to the Gregorian calendar).
This practice also references the first of two shows that Elvis Presley performed at the Pan Pacific Auditorium in Los Angeles, California, today in 1957.
Please join me today (Saturday, October 28th) at 12:00 PM, for a 90-minute yoga practice on Zoom. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10282020 Feeling Pathétique?”]
NOTE: The playlist is currently focused on Tchaikovsky; but, I will add some before/after music related to Elvis and some musicians born on this date.
“‘What’s your emotional power over women?’ demanded one obviously influenced female reporter.
‘Gosh…’ replied Elvis, whispering something inaudible into a mike provided for the occasion.”
— quoted from the 1957 article “Elvis Wiggles, Fans Scream at Pan-Pacific” by Wally George
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible, class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
### AIN’T NOTHING… ###
Never the Time and the Place (the “missing” Sunday post) May 7, 2023
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Donate, Faith, Gratitude, Healing Stories, Hope, Karma Yoga, Life, Love, Meditation, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Poetry, Suffering, Texas, Tragedy, Volunteer, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: Johannes Brahms, John Suchet, KISS MY ASANA, Modest Tchaikovsky, Modeste Tchaikovsky, Nadezhda Filaretovna “N. F.” von Meck, Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky, Rabbi Abraham ibn Ezra, Robert Browning, Robert Greenberg, Swan Lake, Vladimir “Bob” Davydov
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Many blessings to everyone, and especially to anyone Counting the Omer!
This is a “missing” post for Sunday, May 7th. Warning: It alludes to certain current events. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).
This week you can also click here to Kiss My Asana Now! (Or, you can also click here to join my team and get people to kiss [your] asana!)
Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.)
“…You see, my dear friend, I am made up of contradictions, and I have reached a very mature age without resting upon anything positive, without having calmed my restless spirit either by religion or philosophy. Undoubtedly I should have gone mad but for music. Music is indeed the most beautiful of all Heaven’s gifts to humanity wandering in the darkness. Alone it calms, enlightens, and stills our souls. It is not the straw to which the drowning man clings; but a true friend, refuge, and comforter, for whose sake life is worth living.”
– quoted from 1877 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to Nadezhda Filaretovna “N. F.” von Meck (who financially supported the composer for 13-years), as published in The Life & Letters of Peter Ilich Tchaikovsky by Modeste Tchaikovsky
How are you feeling today? And, what are you feeling today?
Perhaps you are feeling one thing very passionately. Perhaps, like me today, you are feeling several very strong emotions. Either way, I would encourage you to take a moment to breathe into what you’re feeling and to acknowledge what you’re feeling, every time you inhale, every time you exhale. That is the practice.
So, today, I am breathing into my gratitude for my practice and for the opportunity to breathe and move (even when I may not move as much as easily as I would like). I am breathing into my gratitude that some people were safe and well enough to join me on Zoom, or use the recording of a practice, and/or read (or listen) to this blog post. However, I am also feeling angry, frustrated, worried, fearful, heartbroken, and emotionally exhausted – because of things that are happening in the world, in my country, in my home state, and in my hometown – and I am breathing into all of that, too. Because that is the practice.
One of the beautiful things about the practice is that it allows for and provides a container in which we can process all of our emotions and sensations – even when they seem contradictory. It is a time and a place where we can pause and set our burdens aside for a moment – not with the intention to ignore what we must do in the world; but, instead, as a way to go deeper into ourselves and into what can be done.
“I am now wholly occupied with the new work … and it is hard for me to tear myself away from it. I believe it comes into being as the best of my works. I must finish it as soon as possible, for I have to wind up a lot of affairs and I must soon go to London. I told you that I had completed a Symphony which suddenly displeased me, and I tore it up. Now I have composed a new symphony which I certainly shall not tear up.”
– quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his brother Modest, as published in Tchaikovsky: The Man Revealed by John Suchet
According to the Gregorian calendar, today (May 7th) is the anniversary of the birth of both Johannes Brahms and Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. Brahms was born in Hamburg, Germany – which would have marked time with the Gregorian calendar when the composer was born in 1833. However, Tchaikovsky was born in Votkinsk, Russian Empire – which would have been using the Julian calendar in 1840, making April 25th the composer’s “official” birth date. Both composers created music that could be considered “the most beautiful of all Heaven’s gifts to humanity wandering in the darkness.” Yet, I have a long history with Tchaikovsky and tend to lean into his music.
So, today is a day when I would normally play some rather festive ballet music – and pair it with what might be considered hopeful and inspiring poetry by Robert Browning, who was born in Camberwell, London, England today in 1840. But, I did not start off today feeling hopeful or inspired. Neither did I initially feel like proclaiming, “Rejoice we are allied” – because we are not.
We are not yet allied.
I mean, maybe we are together in our hearts. Maybe our spirits are one. Maybe we are of the same mind, in the privacy of our own minds. Out in the world, however, we are not presenting a united front against evil, violence, oppression, and tyranny. We are not yet joining the energy of youth with the wisdom of old age and working together to bring about peace. We can not trust the opening lines from Robert Browning’s poem “RABBI BEN EZRA,” because we are constantly reminded that we may not have the time that the poet promised.
“Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith ‘A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!’”
– quoted from the poem “RABBI BEN EZRA” by Robert Browning
I’ll be honest, it kind of irks me that some really amazing lines of poetry sound like things shouted by my master teachers and precious jewels, people that push my buttons. I get especially annoyed by people who respond to calls for change by saying that it’s not the time or the place to discuss changes that need to be made. Unfortunately, in the United States, we can no longer ask, “When is the time and when is the place?” because horrific tragedies just keep happening. Even before we reached the point where we are today, the unstated answer to the question was, “It’s never the time and it’s never the place.” And now we have politicians that straight up say that they’ll discuss gun reform in our dreams.
So, let’s go there.
“Never the time and the place
And the loved one all together!
This path—how soft to pace!
This May—what magic weather!
Where is the loved one’s face?
In a dream that loved one’s face meets mine,
But the house is narrow, the place is bleak
Where, outside, rain and wind combine
With a furtive ear, if I strive to speak,
With a hostile eye at my flushing cheek,
With a malice that marks each word, each sign!
O enemy sly and serpentine,
Uncoil thee from the waking man!
Do I hold the Past
Thus firm and fast
Yet doubt if the Future hold I can?
This path so soft to pace shall lead
Thro’ the magic of May to herself indeed!
Or narrow if needs the house must be,
Outside are the storms and strangers: we
Oh, close, safe, warm sleep I and she,—
I and she!”
– quoted from the poem “Never the Time and the Place” by Robert Browning
Now I know, I know, that at the end of the poem, the poet decides to go back to sleep and back to the love that is in his dreams. In real life, however, Robert Browning’s poetry (and his dreams) led to him meeting, falling in love, and marrying the poet Elizabeth Barrett. Their lives were not perfect. They had to overcome challenges, illness, and hardships; but, they were together “safe, warm.” Furthermore, since I was talking about dreams and Sigmund Freud yesterday, I can’t help but think of the knowledge that is found in dreams and the work that is needed to make those dreams come true.
Which brings me back Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – whose music has been used (in Russia) as a signal that things need to change.
Even though I feel like we need change (and that a younger generation may bring it), I’m not broadcasting “Danse des petits cygnes” (“Dance of the little swans”) today as a shibboleth or coded message encouraging people to overthrow the government. I don’t think the answer to our violence problems is more violence. Instead, I feel more like playing Tchaikovsky’s “Symphony No. 6 in B Minor, Op. 74,” which comes with it’s own conspiracy backstory and a little bit of wisdom.
Click here if you want to know more about one of the conspiracies.
Tchaikovsky composed “Symphony No. 6 in B Minor, Op. 74” at the very end of his life. He called it the “Passionate Symphony” (in Russian). However, he died nine days after the piece premiered (in October 1893) and, therefore, could not correct the French translator who later called the piece “Pathétique” – which means to “invoking pity” or, in English, can also mean “miserably inadequate.”
Pity is a tricky emotion, because it implies that whatever or whomever inspires (or invokes) the pity is somehow beneath the person who is feeling the emotion. It is not the same as empathy or sympathy – which I think we need more of in the world – and it is not the same as compassion (again, which could be useful right now). Pity allows us to “feel sorry for [the ones suffering]” and then to go on about our business. Tchaikovsky, however, was not producing pity. He was feeling, passionately, and creating something amazing, beneficial, and hopeful out of those emotions.
He was drawing everyone in the world in and saying, “life is worth living.”
“If this symphony is misunderstood, and torn to shreds, I shall think it quite normal, and not at all surprising. It will not be the first time. But I myself absolutely believe it to be the best and especially the most sincere of all my works. I love it as I have never loved any single one of my other musical creations.”
– quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his nephew Vladimir “Bob” Davydov as posted in “Music History Monday: His Own Requiem?” by Robert Greenberg
Pick your music. The second option is “balletic” and “Christmas-y.”
The playlist used today is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10282020 Feeling Pathétique?”]
The playlist I have typically used is also available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “05072022 Rejoice We Are Allied”]
Yes! You can still click here to Kiss My Asana Now! (And, you can also still click here to join my team and get people to kiss [your] asana!)
“Rejoice we are allied
To That which doth provide
And not partake, effect and not receive!
A spark disturbs our clod;
Nearer we hold of God
Who gives, than of His tribes that take, I must believe.”
– quoted from the poem “RABBI BEN EZRA” by Robert Browning
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also call the TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
### This is the season…. ###
Breathe Into How You’re Feeling October 28, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Art, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Suffering, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: 988, Ben Harper, Brad Paisley, Elvis Presley, pranayama, prāņāyāma, Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky, Robert Greenberg, sensation, Vladimir “Bob” Davydov, Wally George
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“I am now wholly occupied with the new work … and it is hard for me to tear myself away from it. I believe it comes into being as the best of my works. I must finish it as soon as possible, for I have to wind up a lot of affairs and I must soon go to London. I told you that I had completed a Symphony which suddenly displeased me, and I tore it up. Now I have composed a new symphony which I certainly shall not tear up.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his brother Modest, as published in Tchaikovsky: The Man Revealed by John Suchet
Abbie Richards is a graduate student at Wageningen University & Research in the Netherlands who, in addition to being an environment and climate scholar, has studied the history of racism, sexism, and classism in golf and also created a hierarchical pyramid of conspiracy theories. I serendipitously came across a story about her conspiracy pyramid and I started wondering where, exactly, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74 would fall in the ranks.
Going by the Gregorian calendar, “The Passionate Symphony” premiered today in 1893 in Saint Petersburg, “the Cultural Capital of Russia.” It was the second work dedicated to the composer’s nephew, Vladimir Davydov (or “Bob,” as the composer called him) and, understandably (given Bob’s personality and temperament) was full of feelings. But, before we get all up in the feels, consider that the “tenor” of the piece changed when Tchaikovsky died nine days after he conducted the premiere.
“The Passionate Symphony” was the last piece premiered in Tchaikovsky’s life time and the penultimate piece he composed (with the Piano Concerto No. 3 in E-flat major, Op. 75, the last “completed” work, premiering after his death). The symphony’s second performance (on November 18, 1893) was a memorial tribute and contained some changes made by Tchaikovsky in the nine days between the premiere and his death. Conspiracy theories about the piece started almost immediately, fueled first by a passing comment between Tchaikovsky and his dear friend Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov and then by Tchaikovsky’s sudden death, not to mention the “in memorium” subtitle that accompanied the second performance.
“If this symphony is misunderstood, and torn to shreds, I shall think it quite normal, and not at all surprising. It will not be the first time. But I myself absolutely believe it to be the best and especially the most sincere of all my works. I love it as I have never loved any single one of my other musical creations.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his nephew Vladimir “Bob” Davydov as posted in “Music History Monday: His Own Requiem?” by Robert Greenberg
Tchaikovsky and Rimsky-Korsakov were part of “The Five” (or “the Mighty Handful” or “The Mighty Five”) who collaborated together and promoted a distinctly Russian style of classical music during the 19th century. Around the time of the first performance of the “The Passionate Symphony,” Rimsky-Korsakov reportedly asked Tchaikovsky if the piece was or had a program, referring to a narrative or specific atmosphere. Tchaikovsky said yes, but did not elaborate. The fact that a cruciform melody (changing tones giving the physical appearance of a crucifix) appears in the symphony and that the symphony ends in an unconventional way got people thinking,
When some of those same people attended the memorial performance on November 18th, they listened closely for some sign that the piece was a musical farewell or “symphony as suicide note.” Of course, confirmation bias kicked in and, to this day, people point to all kinds of musical “evidence” to support their theories, despite the fact that just a month before the premiere, Tchaikovsky stated that he was in no mood to write a requiem. Plus, there’s the fact that the composer could not have known he was going to die unexpectedly at age 53 and was planning a trip to London. His death is officially attributed to cholera (reportedly caused by drinking contaminated water), but conspiracy theorists have other ideas. (And, I suppose, the fact the Tchaikovsky’s mother died of cholera when he was 14 years old is just more proof for the conspiracy pudding).
“It was not true that cholera victims were always placed in sealed coffins, and Tchaikovsky’s own mother was the proof. It is documented that she lay in an open coffin, and her children were brought into the room to kiss her forehead. None of them contracted cholera as a result.
The custom in Tchaikovsky’s day, she told me, was for the coffin to be open for family and friends to pay respects, and then sealed for the funeral.
As if to clinch the argument, she told me Tchaikovsky’s death had been certified as caused by cholera by several doctors, all experts in their field. The death certificate, and other necessary paperwork, was signed and countersigned in accordance with procedure. Furthermore, since cholera was so epidemic in St Petersburg, the newspapers carried a daily list of victims in its pages. Tchaikovsky’s name had appeared, along with others. A cover-up would have been impossible.”
— quoted from Tchaikovsky: The Man Revealed by John Suchet
But, let’s get back to what we (for a fact) know to be Tchaikovsky’s intent: a tribute to Bob. The composer’s nephew was reportedly an artistic young man who ultimately decided to go into the military. Both Tchaikovsky and Davydov struggled with depression and, it appears, their relationship helped them bolster each other. Uncle and nephew had a close enough relationship that the composer at one point considered moving to be closer to the person he described as “the paramount condition of my happiness.” Additionally, Tchaikovsky left all his royalties and copyrights to his nephew, who would eventually resign his commission in order to help his uncle Modest Ilyich Tchaikovsky (the composer’s brother) run the museum created to honor the composer’s life and work. To my knowledge, there’s no question about the fact that Vladimir “Bob” Davydov used morphine and other drugs to numb his feelings or that he committed suicide at the age of 34 — something his uncle didn’t see coming.
Both uncle and nephew, as I mentioned before, could be described as “passionate” or “emotional” (with a side of suffering) and this was the original meaning of the title Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky assigned to his penultimate work, Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74. Tchaikovsky’s brother Modest (Bob’s other artistic uncle) claimed to have suggested the title Pateticheskaya (Патетическая ) which contains an emotional nuance and complexity not found in a single English word. The nuance (and subsequent meaning) gets further lost to modern audiences, because the most common title for the piece is the French word Pathétique — which is sometimes reduced to “The Pathetic” to distinguish it from Ludwig van Beethoven’s 1798 piano sonata (with the same French name).
Based on his response to Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s question and the fact that Tchaikovsky abandoned a title that would have called attention to “a hidden program,” there is evidence that the composer did not want people to be too curious about the meaning. That evidence suggests that Tchaikovsky just wanted people to feel — maybe even to feel some of what he and Bob felt. Or, maybe, the whole piece was just note from uncle to nephew, saying, “You are not alone in this.”
“While on my travels I had another idea for a symphony – a program work this time, but its program will remain a conundrum to everyone. Let them guess at it. This program is imbued with subjectivity. While composing it in my thoughts, I often wept a great deal. Then I began writing drafts, and the work was as heated as it was rapid. In less than four days I completed the first movement, and the remaining movements were outlined in my head. There will be much that is new in this symphony where form is concerned, one point being that the finale will not be a loud allegro, but the reverse, a most unhurried adagio. You cannot imagine the bliss I feel after becoming convinced that time has not yet run out and that it is still possible to work.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his nephew Vladimir “Bob” Davydov as posted in “Music History Monday: His Own Requiem?” by Robert Greenberg
Please join me today (Wednesday, October 28th) at 4:30 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You will need to register for the 7:15 PM class if you have not already done so. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.
“…You see, my dear friend, I am made up of contradictions, and I have reached a very mature age without resting upon anything positive, without having calmed my restless spirit either by religion or philosophy. Undoubtedly I should have gone mad but for music. Music is indeed the most beautiful of all Heaven’s gifts to humanity wandering in the darkness. Alone it calms, enlightens, and stills our souls. It is not the straw to which the drowning man clings; but a true friend, refuge, and comforter, for whose sake life is worth living.”
— quoted from 1877 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to Nadezhda Filaretovna “N. F.” von Meck (who supported the financially supported the composer for 13-years), as published in The Life & Letters of Peter Ilich Tchaikovsky by Modeste Tchaikovsky
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
Revised formatting and some links (10/28/2024). Typographical errors corrected (10/28/2025).