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First Friday Night Special #63 — Invitation & EXCERPTS: “The Purpose of Naming [the Business]” & “Nom de Destiné” January 2, 2026

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in 7-Day Challenge, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Dharma, Faith, Healing Stories, Hope, Life, Mantra, Meditation, Mysticism, New Year, One Hoop, Peace, Philosophy, Poetry, Religion, Wisdom, Yoga.
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Happy 2026 to Everyone!

May you be safe and protected / May you be peaceful and happy / May you be healthy and strong!

The power of words. There are certain sacred words called Mantras, which have power, when repeated under proper conditions, produce these extraordinary powers. We are living in the midst of such a mass of miracles, day and night, that we do not think anything of them. There is no limit to man’s power, the power of words and the power of mind.”

— commentary on Yoga Sūtra 4.1 from Raja Yoga by Swami Vivekananda

Shabda (“Word”) is one of the six siddhis (“powers” or “abilities”) described in Yoga and Sankhya as “unique to being human”. According to the Yoga Sūtras, our words have an external vibration and an internal vibration that leads to internal/external reaction — meaning their power is layered. They are also described as one of the things that can lead to someone attaining great powers. For instance, we can focus/concentrate/meditate on a word to gain insight and a deeper understanding of words and language in general. In fact, there is a practice — and a sūtra (YS 3.17) — for that. However, when we talk about the power of words, we don’t always recognize or appreciate that a name is a word that has power.

Oh, sure, we may consider a (surface level) meaning of a name if we are naming a child or a pet and/or a business. People who choose a new name or nickname for themselves may, naturally, choose something that sends a message. However, most of us don’t deliberately and intentionally choose a name to send a message. Most of us are not like Johannes Mercurius — even though we are living in a time that is as interesting as his time.

Today in 533 AD, Johannes Mercurius quite literally made a name for himself. He changed his name to John II and, in doing so, became the first pope to change his name at the beginning of his papacy. Pope John II was very deliberate in his decision to change his name and in the name he chose. He understood the power of words and was sending a message about how he was planning to move forward as a leader. He was also sending a message about what he would not tolerate.

CLICK ON THE EXCERPT TITLE FOR MORE.

FTWMI: “The Purpose of Naming”

Nom de Destiné (the “missing” Sunday post *with and update*)

“Me, a name I call myself”

— quoted from the song “Do-Re-Mi” by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II

Today is a day when I usually suggest you contemplate a name you would use to indicate how you plan to show up in this new year. Normally, the suggestion focuses on a personal name. This year, however, I want you to (also) consider a business name. As you go about your business this year — the business of living your life, what is a name that reflects the alignment of your deepest desires, beliefs, and actions? What is a name that sends the message, as Pope John II sent, about what no longer serves a purpose?

Just imagine the name that is proof of what you will do this year.

“You have to imagine it.
Who said you must keep quiet?
Who heard your story, then rolled their eyes?
Who tried to change your name to invisible?

You’ve got to imagine.
Who heard your name and refused to pronounce it?
Who checked their watch and said, ‘Not now’?

James Baldwin wrote,
‘The place in which I’ll fit will not exist until I make it.’”

— quoted from the poem “Proof” by Cornelius Eady, recited at the New York mayoral inauguration of Zohran Mamdani (01/01/2026) and dedicated to the poet’s “…trans, queer, foreign, students of color at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. So they have, so they can see this is possible.”  

Please join me (tonight) Friday, January 2, 2025, 7:15 PM – 8:20 PM (CST) for “The Purpose of Naming [the Business]” for a (virtual or in-person) yoga practice. You must be registered and confirmed to attend in person.

You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra      (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

This practice is scheduled as a Yin Yoga practice. If the room is heated (as it was last night), it will be a Restorative Yoga practice. Either is accessible and open to all.

Friday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.

Music Note: You can start with Track #1, #2, or #3 (which will include #4). Track #24 is also an option.

Prop wise, this is a kitchen sink practice. You can practice without props or you  can use “studio” and/or “householder” props. Example of “Studio” props: 1 – 2 blankets, 2 – 3 blocks, a bolster, a strap, and an eye pillow. Example of “Householder” props: 1 – 2 blankets or bath towels, 2 – 3 books (similar in size), 2 standard pillows (or 1 body pillow), a belt/tie/sash, and a face towel.

You may want extra layers (as your body may cool down during this practice). Having a wall, chair, sofa, or coffee table may be handy.

“In Bengali the word for pet name is daknam, meaning, literally, the name by which one is called , by friends, family, and other intimates, at home and in other private, unguarded moments. Pet names are a persistent remnant of childhood, a reminder that life is not always so serious, so formal, so complicated. They are a reminder, too, that one is not all things to all people.”

— quoted from The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).

Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.

### Trusting, Aligning, Releasing ###

One More On Words [& Stories] (the “missing” Wednesday 12/17 post, w/EXCERPTS) December 20, 2025

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Chanukah, Faith, Healing Stories, Hope, Music, One Hoop, Philosophy, Religion, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.
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“Happy Chanukah!” to all who are celebrating. Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone observing Advent, observing the Nativity Fast / St. Philip’s Fast; and/or letting their light shine with kindness, friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, gratitude, and wisdom.

May you be safe and protected / May you be peaceful and happy / May you be healthy and strong! May you be nourished!

This “missing” compilation post, for Wednesday, December 17th, is an expanded and revised version of a 2024 post. You can request an audio recording of this practice or a previous practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra      (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).

Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.

“Composition is a discipline; it forces us to think. If you want to ‘get in touch with your feelings,’ fine—talk to yourself; we all do. But, if you want to communicate with another thinking human being, get in touch with your thoughts. Put them in order; give them a purpose; use them to persuade, to instruct, to discover, to seduce. The secret way to do this is to write it down and then cut out the confusing parts.”

— William Safire

Words are powerful. They can spread or travel like a living, breathing thing. They can bring us together; they can tear us apart; and they can change the world. For that matter, they can build the world and determine how we see the world.

Words (even when they are in visual form) are they way we tell our healing stories.

Since William Safire was born December 17, 1929, in New York City, this is a day when I like to focus on words and the power of words. Mr. Safire was a journalist, author, columnist, and political speechwriter. When he was working as a public relations agent for a model homes builder (in Moscow in 1959), he set up a “Kitchen Debate” between the then United States Vice President Richard Nixon and then Soviet Prime Minister Nikita Khrushchev. William Safire went on to work on Richard Nixon’s presidential campaigns and to serve as a speechwriter for both Nixon and his (original) vice president, Spiro Agnew.

In July 1969, William Safire wrote the “Safire Memo”( also known as “In Event of Moon Disaster”), which was the never-delivered speech then President Nixon would have delivered if the Apollo II astronauts had been stranded on the moon. The memo included protocol and the order of things, including: “PRIOR TO THE PRESIDENT’S STATEMENT: The President should telephone each of the widows-to-be.” In 2013, Joshua Keating included the memo in his Foreign Policy (magazine) article, “The Greatest Doomsday Speeches Never Made”.

“In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.

Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts.

For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.”

— quoted from “In Event of Moon Disaster / The Safire Memo” (addressed to H. R. Haldeman, dated July 18, 1969.) by William Safire 

I grew up reading William Safire’s The New York Times Magazine syndicated column “On Language”. Starting in 1979, I looked forward to the weekly opportunity to learn a new word; the etymology of an old word; how words crisscrossed cultures; and/or how old words gained new meanings. William Safire is one of the reasons I learned the power of words; how a single word can tell a whole story; how the right quote can add depth and power; and how the words — and even the letters1 — we use to tell our stories matter (as much as, maybe more than, the story).

For instance, when I tell the story of Chanukah (which this year overlapped the anniversary of William Safire’s birth), there are certain words I use no matter how I tell the story. First, there are words and phrases that are most commonly associated with the story of Chanukah, even by people who do not celebrate it: “light”, “8 days and 8 nights”, “Chanukah/dedication”, “miracle(s)”, “faith”, “G-d”, “community”.

Then, there are words that give the story more depth: “darkness”, “wilderness”, “underdogs”, “renegades”, “mighty”, “hammer”, “shamash/helper/attendant”, “25”.

Finally, there are phrases that create a rhythm: “a band of brothers… a father and his sons”. This year, I also added the word “fanatics” (for reasons).

Take a moment to notice how almost all of the words and phrases — given the English translations in the case of the Hebrew words — pop up in the music and in all the stories I tell this time of year. Take a moment to notice how the words make you feel.

“What makes a word like zap of particular interest is that it imitates an imaginary noise—the sound of a paralyzing-ray gun. Thus we can see another way that the human mind creates new words: imitating what can be heard only in the mind’s ear. The coinage filled a need for an unheard sound and—pow!— slammed the vocabulary right in the kisser. Steadily, surely, under the watchful eye of great lexicographers and with the encouragement of columnists and writers who ache for color in verbs, the creation of Buck Rogers’s creator has blasted its way into the dictionaries. The verb will live long after superpowers agree to ban ray guns; no sound thunders or crackles like an imaginary sound turned into a new word.

— quoted from The New York Times Magazine, February 12, 1984, article “On Language: Zapmanship” by William Safire

CLICK ON THE EXCERPT TITLES BELOW FOR MORE.

Tempo por vi Brili, en 2025! “Time for you to Shine, in 2025!” & FTWMI: Gravas kiel ni diras, aŭ ne diras, kio estas en niaj koroj! “How we say, or don’t say, what is in our hearts is important!” (the “missing” Monday 12/15 post)

Sweet Stories About Light (the “missing” Tuesday 12/16 post, w/extra links)

Remember, “It’s Much More Than Just a Candlelight”* (the “missing” Saturday post w/excerpts)

Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started.”

— quoted from The New York Times Magazine, February 12, 1984, article “On Language: Zapmanship” by William Safire

Also, around this time every year, the major (English) dictionaries reveal the words that have made up our zeitgeist. Back in 2022, I was going to write a sentence featuring the words of the year, but the results were so disturbing that I just listed the words.

This year (and last year), I am continuing the listing precedent. However, you can comment below if you come up with a Spelling Bee worthy sentence that’s not disturbing for this year, last year, and/or using the words from 2022.

“slop” “rage bait” “parasocial” “67”

— 2025 Word of the Year from Merriam-Webster, Oxford, Cambridge, and dictionary.com, respectively

Click on the excerpt title below for a post that references the power of words (and one of the 2022 words).

Having A Say & FTWMI: The Power of Being Seen & Heard (the “missing” Tuesday post)

“Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague….”

— quoted from Fumblerules: A Lighthearted Guide to Grammar and Good Usage by William Safire 

Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “Chanukah (Day 3 – 4) & Shabda 2025”]

MUSIC NOTE: The YouTube playlist includes some videos, the musical version of at least one which is not available on Spotify. My apologies for not posting the music before the 4:30 practice.

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

I will offering in-person classes during January 2026. Click here for more details and to reserve your spots now. Let’s start the 2026 together!

NOTE:1Ida (née Panish) and Oliver Craus Safir (who was Jewish with Romanian ancestry), had three (2) sons: Leonard, Matthew, and William. Mr. Safire is the only one who added the “e” to his last name (so the general public would know how to pronounce it).

### USE YOUR WORDS ###

One More On Words [& Stories] (just the music & blessings) December 17, 2025

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Music, One Hoop, Yoga.
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“Happy Chanukah!” to all who are celebrating. Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone observing Advent, observing the Nativity Fast / St. Philip’s Fast; and/or letting their light shine with kindness, friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, gratitude, and wisdom.

May you be safe and protected / May you be peaceful and happy / May you be healthy and strong! May you be nourished!

Please join me today (Wednesday, December 17th) at 4:30 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra   (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “Chanukah (Day 3 – 4) & Shabda 2025”]

NOTE: The YouTube playlist includes some videos, the musical version of at least one which is not available on Spotify. My apologies for not posting the music before the 4:30 practice.

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

I will offering in-person classes during January 2026. Click here for more details and to reserve your spots now. Let’s start the 2026 together!

### 🎶 ###

A Quick Note & EXCERPT: “Having A Say, redux” PLUS a Coda (the “missing” Wednesday post) November 12, 2025

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Hope, Music, One Hoop, Philosophy, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone expressing friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom.

Stay safe! Hydrate and nourish your heart, body, and mind. BREATHE!

This (short) “missing” compilation post, for Wednesday, November 12th, features previously posted content with a little something extra at the end (i.e., the coda). My apologies for not posting the music before the practices. You can request an audio recording of this practice or a previous practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra      (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).

Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.

SUFFRAGE, noun [Latin, French > Late Middle English] — the right to vote in political elections.

“late Middle English (in the sense ‘“intercessory prayers”’, also ‘“assistance”’): from Latin suffragium, reinforced by French suffrage. The modern sense of ‘“right to vote”’ was originally US (dating from the late 18th century).”

— quoted from Oxford Languages

Who do you imagine when you imagine a suffragist? What do they look like to you? Who immediately comes up in your mind?

While the word “suffragist” literally means “a person advocating that the right to vote be extended to more people”, many people automatically associate the idea with the women’s suffrage movement. Odds are that, even though men can be — and, historically, have been — suffragists, the person you envisioned was a woman.

Normally (as noted in the excerpt below), this is where I start a practice on November 12th — with the question, “What is a woman”? Today, however, I want to jump forward (and back) to the question of how you imagine a suffragist. Because, while there were American suffragists — even in leadership roles — who looked like me and were interested in ensuring the suffrage (and citizenship) of people of various identities, the person you envisioned probably looked like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who was born today in 1815, in Johnstown, New York.

CLICK ON THE EXCERPT TITLE BELOW FOR MORE.

Having A Say, redux (the “missing” post)

“If I were to draw up a set of rules for the guidance of reformers, such as Franklin and other celebrities tell us they did for their own use, I should put at the head of the list: Do all you can, no matter what, to get people to think on your reform, and then, if your reform is good, it will come about in due season.”

— quoted from a diary entry dated “Cleveland, August 20 [1888]” by Elizabeth Cady Stanton (as published in Elizabeth Cady Stanton As Revealed in Her Letterz, Diary and Reminiscences, Edited by Theodore Stanton and Harriot Stanton Blatch, Volume Two])

𝄌

“When a white member of the delegation said in ignorance, ‘If I were a colored woman, I should be willing to march with the other women of my race,’ it provoked a pointed response from [Ida B.] Wells-Barnett. ‘There is a difference… which you probably do not see. I shall not march with the colored women. Either I go with you or not at all. I am not taking this stand because I personally wish for recognition. I am doing it for the future benefit of my whole race.’

— quoted from the American Heritage (September 2020, Volume 65, Issue 5) essay, “Ida B. Wells Marches for Justice: The ex-slave and investigative journalist spent a lifetime fighting against lynching and segregation — but also for voting rights for African-American women.” by Susan Ware [adapted from Why They Marched: Untold Stories of the Women Who Fought for the Right to Vote (Harvard University Press) by Susan Ware]

Just as Elizabeth Cady Stanton referenced in her diary, the suffragists did “draw up a set of rules for the guidance of reformers….” Unfortunately, they did so in a very similar manner as the “celebrities” she mentioned: they advocated for “all women” while simultaneously leaving people out. Some of those people, were part of the movement. Some were even in leadership positions.

African-American suffragists like Mary Ann Shadd Cary (b. 10/09/1823), Frances Ellen Watkins Harper (b. 09/24/1825), Ida B. Wells (b. 07/16/1862), Mary Church Terrell (09/23/1863), and Nannie Helen Burroughs (b. 05/02/1879); as well as Native suffragists like Marie Louise Bottineau Baldwin (b. 12/14/1863), Mexican-American suffragists like Nina Otero-Warren (b. 10/23/1881), and Chinese-American suffragists like Dr. Mabel Ping-Hua Lee (b. 10/07/1896) had to battle racism, as well as misogyny — inside and outside of the movement. To add insult to injury, they were not able to vote when the 19th Amendment was ratified and adopted. In fact, the American suffragists movement as it directly affected women of color, continued well into the 20th century, when it was advanced by people like Viola Jackson (b. ~1915), Debra Barnes Wilson, Juanita Craft (b. 02/09/1902), Amelia Boynton Robinson (b. 08/18/1905), Rosa Parks (b. 02/04/1913), Marie Foster (10/24/1913), Fannie Lou Hamer (b. 10/06/1917), and Viola Liuzzo (b. 04/11/1925) — whose race and ethnicity allowed her to vote in the 1960s. Even minors1 — like Julia Barnes, Rachel West Nelson and Sheyann Webb-Christburg — attended meetings and participated in marches during the Civil Rights Movement.

Grace Trout seemed swayed by these sentiments, and she agreed to take the matter up again with the national leaders, but to no avail. Although Trout personally disagreed, she said she would abide by their wishes. Wells-Barnett would have none of it. ‘When I was asked to come down here, I was asked to march with the other women of our state, and I intend to do so or not take part in the parade at all.’”

— quoted from the American Heritage (September 2020, Volume 65, Issue 5) essay, “Ida B. Wells Marches for Justice: The ex-slave and investigative journalist spent a lifetime fighting against lynching and segregation — but also for voting rights for African-American women.” by Susan Ware [adapted from Why They Marched: Untold Stories of the Women Who Fought for the Right to Vote (Harvard University Press) by Susan Ware]

Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “11122025 Having A Say, redux III”]

NOTE: Since some Spotify tracks are shorter (than the YouTube videos), I have add (silent) filler tracks. YouTube features several extra videos that are not available on Spotify. Some are speeches worth hearing. Some are music videos worth seeing. To make up the difference, the Spotify playlist has its own Easter egg.

“We come now to the rescue…. Will you as a pastor and friend of missions help by not hindering these women when they come among you to speak and to enlist the women of your church?”

— quoted from the speech “How the Sisters Are Hindered from Helping” by Nannie Helen Burroughs (delivered at the National Baptist Convention, in Richmond, Virginia, on September 13, 1900)  

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

NOTE: 1Julia Barnes was eight years old (and with her maternal grandmother), while Rachel West Nelson and Sheyann Webb-Christburg were both nine years old, during the “Sunday Bloody Sunday” march in Selma, Alabama, on March 7, 1965. Ms. Nelson and Ms. Christburg became involved in the Civil Rights Movement after meeting Martin Luther King, Jr. During the attack on the Edmund Pettus Bridge, Ms. Christburg was carried to safety by Reverend Hosea Williams (one of the march leaders).

### Your Perspective Matters ###

And Still Another One on Words (a mini-post with an excerpt) December 17, 2024

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Healing Stories, Life, Music, One Hoop, Philosophy, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone using words that cultivate kindness, friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, gratitude, and wisdom.

May you be safe and protected / May you be peaceful and happy / May you be healthy and strong! May you be nourished!

“Composition is a discipline; it forces us to think. If you want to ‘get in touch with your feelings,’ fine—talk to yourself; we all do. But, if you want to communicate with another thinking human being, get in touch with your thoughts. Put them in order; give them a purpose; use them to persuade, to instruct, to discover, to seduce. The secret way to do this is to write it down and then cut out the confusing parts.”

— William Safire

Words are powerful. They can spread or travel like a living, breathing thing. They can bring us together; they can tear us apart; and they can change the world. For that matter, they can build the world and determine how we see the world.

Since William Safire was born today in 1929, this is a day when I like to focus on words and the power of words. Also, around this time every year, the major (English) dictionaries reveal the words that have made up our zeitgeist. Back in 2022, I was going to write a sentence featuring the words of the year, but the results were so disturbing that I just listed the words.

This year, I am continuing the listing precedent. However, you can comment below if you come up with a Spelling Bee worthy sentence that’s not disturbing for this year and/or using the words from 2022.

Click on the excerpt title below for a post that references the power of words (and one of the 2022 words).

Having A Say & FTWMI: The Power of Being Seen & Heard (the “missing” Tuesday post)

“polarization” “brain rot” “manifest” “demure”

— 2024 Word of the Year from Merriam-Webster, Oxford, Cambridge, and dictionary.com, respectively

Please join me today (Tuesday, December 17th) at 12:00 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “07112020 An Introduction”]

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

I will offering in-person classes during January 2025. Click here for more details and to reserve your spots now. Let’s start the 2025 together!

### USE YOUR WORDS ###

A Quick Note & EXCERPT: “Having A Say, redux” November 12, 2024

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Hope, Music, One Hoop, Philosophy, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone expressing friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom.

Stay safe! Hydrate and nourish your heart, body, and mind. BREATHE!

SUFFRAGE, noun [Latin, French > Late Middle English] — the right to vote in political elections.

“late Middle English (in the sense ‘“intercessory prayers”’, also ‘“assistance”’): from Latin suffragium, reinforced by French suffrage. The modern sense of ‘“right to vote”’ was originally US (dating from the late 18th century).”

— quoted from Oxford Languages

Who do you imagine when you imagine a suffragist? What do they look like to you? Who immediately comes up in your mind?

While the word “suffragist” literally means “a person advocating that the right to vote be extended to more people”, many people automatically associate the idea with the women’s suffrage movement. Odds are that, even though men can be — and, historically, have been — suffragists, the person you envisioned was a woman.

Normally, this is where I start a practice on November 12th — with the question, “What is a woman”? Today, however, I want to jump forward (and back) to the question of how you imagine a suffragist. Because, while there were American suffragists — even in leadership roles — who looked like me and were interested in ensuring the suffrage (and citizenship) of people of various identities, the person you envisioned probably looked like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who was born today in 1815, in Johnstown, New York.

CLICK ON THE EXCERPT TITLE BELOW FOR MORE.

Having A Say, redux (the “missing” post)

“If I were to draw up a set of rules for the guidance of reformers, such as Franklin and other celebrities tell us they did for their own use, I should put at the head of the list: Do all you can, no matter what, to get people to think on your reform, and then, if your reform is good, it will come about in due season.”

— quoted from a diary entry dated “Cleveland, August 20 [1888]” by Elizabeth Cady Stanton (as published in Elizabeth Cady Stanton As Revealed in Her Letterz, Diary and Reminiscences, Edited by Theodore Stanton and Harriot Stanton Blatch, Volume Two])

Please join me today (Tuesday, November 12th) at 12:00 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “11122022 Having A Say, redux”]

NOTE: YouTube features several extra videos that are not available on Spotify. Some are speeches worth hearing. Some are music videos worth seeing. To make up the difference, the Spotify playlist has its own Easter egg.

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

### Your Perspective Matters ###

Understanding, as a tool (a “missing” Sunday post) March 13, 2023

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in 19-Day Fast, Baha'i, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Faith, Gandhi, Healing Stories, Hope, Lent / Great Lent, Life, Love, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Pema Chodron, Philosophy, Poetry, Religion, Suffering, Wisdom, Yoga.
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Many blessings to all, and especially to those observing Lent, Great Lent, and the Baháʼí 19-Day Fast during this “Season for Non-violence” and all other seasons!

This is the “missing” post for Sunday, March 5th (which includes some quotes used on March 12th). There was no Saturday class last week; however, I secretly snuck in a bit of what would have been Saturday’s theme. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.)

“People who are good at understanding others are usually good listeners. We can fall into the trap of so earnestly wanting to get our point across, we forget to listen to the person we are speaking to. During your conversations today, instead of letting words go in one ear and out the other, take time to hear what the other person is saying.”

– quoted from the “Action for Teens” section of “ Day 35 ~ March 5th ~ Understanding” of the “Season for Non-violence,” provided by the Mahatma Gandhi Canadian Foundation for World Peace

How well do you understand yourself? For that matter, how well do you understand the people around you – especially those you love? Additionally, how much time and effort do you put into understanding yourself and/or the people around you (every time you inhale, every time you exhale)?

As I mentioned in the “ First Friday Night Special” post, I didn’t immediately click (literally or figuratively) on the fact that each of the themes provided by the Mahatma Gandhi Canadian Foundation for World Peace during the “Season for Non-violence” is connected to a resource page full of quotes, reflections, meditations, and thought-exercises. Although the themes are inspired by the lives and work of Mohandas Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. (whose assassination dates mark the beginning and end of the “Season for Non-violence”), the resource pages reference many others and can be used by individuals and/or groups.

I love that the resources help people better understand how each nonviolent principle can be “…a powerful way to heal, transform, and empower our lives and communities.” Last week, after I had to cancel Saturday’s Zoom practice, I also really appreciated how closely the March 4th theme (“love”) aligned with the March 5th theme (“understanding”) – especially when considered in the context of the lives and work of Mahatma Gandhi and Reverend King. They also can be closely aligned when viewed through a Yoga lens, which reinforces the fact that the process of gaining understanding about oneself is already a big part of the Yoga Philosophy.

Gaining understanding about oneself is, quite obviously, the point of  svādhyāya (“self-study”), which is the fourth niyamā (internal “observation”) and the second key element of kriyā yoga (“union in action”), as defined by Patanjali in Yoga Sūtra 2.1. The very first siddhi (“power”) described as “unique to being human” is uha, which is “knowledge without doubt, clear understanding, intuitive knowledge.” That ability is inextricably connected to several of the other five – including adhyayana (“study, analyze, and comprehend”). Furthermore, in the third section of the Yoga Sūtras, Patanjali described what sometimes sounds like “Jedi Knight tricks” – including the ability to understand all sounds uttered by any creature (i.e., all languages) (YS 3.17). Finally, towards the end of the sūtras, the culmination of all the powers is described as “the cloud of virtue” or the “cloud of clarity.”

Yet, throughout the sūtras, there are reminders that the achievements and abilities found in the practice can be obstacles to the ultimate objective of the practice. They become obstacles when we forget that they are part of the practice, steps along the way; and not the ultimate goals in-and-of-themselves. Some of the commentary surrounding the siddhis (“powers”) also reinforces the fact that every part of the practice is connected to self awareness. In other words, that part of the practice is training ourselves to be more aware of ourselves and more conscious of what informs our thoughts, words, and deeds.

“The point here is not to manipulate other people through some sort of mind control. The value is in seeing the way that your own mind is affected by the presented thoughts from others, along with the insights about the other mind from which they are being projected. From that we can deal with our own mental conditioning in response to that which might otherwise control our own actions, speech, and thoughts.” 

– quoted from the commentary on Yoga Sūtra 3.19 by Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati (as posted on SwamiJ.com)

When we cultivate the skills needed to understand why we act, react, and respond the way we do; we are also opening up to the possibility of understanding why others act, react, and respond the way they do. I say that we open up to that possibility, because (as one of my sister-in-laws has reminded me on more than one occasion) “there are some things that may not be for us to understand.” So, the question becomes: Are you willing to make the effort?

Just making the effort to open up can give us insight into ourselves and can also change the way we interact with people whose behavior seems unfathomable to us. Being open to considering where someone is coming from – and how it is similar or different from where we are coming from – means that we show up with a little more empathy, maybe even a little more compassion. It may mean that we can have a conversation with someone, rather than an argument. It does not mean that we condone bad behavior, nor does it mean that we change someone’s opinion – because, again, it is not about manipulation. However, it can mean that there is just a little less (violent) conflict in a world that is already overflowing with conflict. That moment with less (violent) conflict means there is a little more peace in the world…. It can also mean there is a little more love – especially if we use our power of “understanding” as a tool of nonviolence and a tool of love.

“Love is creative, understanding goodwill for all men. It is the refusal to defeat any individual. When you rise to the level of love, of its great beauty and power, you seek only to defeat evil systems. Individuals who happen to be caught up in that system, you love, but you seek to defeat the system.”

– quoted from “Loving Your Enemies” sermon at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church by Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. (11/17/1957)

As a simple thought-exercise, take a moment to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Imagine their heart and their scars; imagine their loves and their losses, their triumphs and their pains. When we do this thought-exercise, we may fall into the trap of thinking, “Well, I would never do what they did.” But, that’s a trap for two reasons. First, we don’t always know how we would react or respond to a situation until we are actually in it. Second, when we initial do this though-exercise we may only do it from our own perspective – which is a great first step in practicing svādhyāya. Then, however, we have to strip away our “whys” and consider that what we would do (or not do) is based on our past experiences – our saṃskāras (mental “impressions”) and our  vāsanās (the “dwelling places” of our habits).

Our past experiences have informed our hearts and hard-wired our brains to react and respond in a certain way. That other person, has different experiences, different mental impressions, different habits, different heart information, and different neural pathways (mentally speaking). We can grow up with someone, live in the same home, go to the same schools, share similar likes and dislikes – and still see/understand a shared experience in different ways; which means we have different takeaways. So, to really do the work, we have to be willing to let go of what we know and step into the unknown. We have to acknowledge the things that make us who we are and, therefore, make us see and comprehend (or not) the way we do. Then we have to be willing to not just consider what our view would be if we were sitting on the other side of the divide, but also what our view would be if we were actually the other person sitting on the side of the divide.

Again, this is a basic thought-exercise. It is relatively simple and easy to do when we are considering the viewpoint of a stranger. How willing are you, however, to engage in the same philosophical query when it comes to someone who has hurt you? Maybe the injury was physical; maybe it was a mental and emotional insult. Maybe it was all of the above. The hurt could come from disappointment – and, maybe it was unintentional on their part; just negligent. Or, the hurt could come from a very deliberate and malicious intentional action. Then there’s everything in between. Additionally, it’s possible that the hurt we feel makes it harder to put ourselves in their shoes. Then things get a little more complicated (and interesting) when we consider that the people we love the most (and that we believe are supposed to love us the most) are the ones that can hurt us the most.

Then, we have to go a little deeper into our understanding of love.

“The Greek language comes out with another word for love. It is the word agape, and agape is more than erosAgape is more than philiaAgape is something of the understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill for all men. It is a love that seeks nothing in return. It is an overflowing love; it’s what theologians would call the love of God working in the lives of men. And when you rise to love on this level, you begin to love men, not because they are likeable, but because God loves them. You look at every man, and you love him because you know God loves him. And he might be the worst person you’ve ever seen.”

– quoted from “Loving Your Enemies” sermon at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church by Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. (11/17/1957)

 Love is energy. Some people even see it as a currency. We can also look at love as tool (or a map) that leads to understanding – just as we can look at understanding as a tool we can use to express (or invest) love. Viewing “love” and “understanding” as synonyms, and/or as tools and the work of those tools, gives us the ability to turn every potential conflict into a moment of nonviolence. One of the first steps in this endeavor is remember that our human tendency to segment and label love-energy can diminish our experience of it, while simultaneously increasing our experience of suffering. This labeling can also cause us to forget (or not realize) that everyone wants and deserves to be loved. Remembering the very human desire to love and be loved – to belong – can help us understand that sometimes people make bad decisions in an effort to make a connection.

For example, depending on our individual experiences, we may not understand why someone joins a gang or a group that seems to continuously spew hatred. If, however, we consider that desire to love and be loved – and the accompanying desires to belong and be accepted – we may find that an individual who is not being accepted by one part of their community will seek that acceptance elsewhere. They may find it in a group that essentially says, “Hey, we will accept you… as long as you believe what we believe (or say you do) and do the things we want you to do.” And while those conditions may seem abhorrent and unacceptable to some, consider this: Unconditional love is very rare in modern society; we just don’t always know the conditions. Gangs, cults, and hate groups have very specific (known) conditions. They’re just not always viewed as conditions. Neither are they initially recognized as the causes and conditions of suffering.

“Everyone you ever knew who told you that they would keep you safe as long as you behaved were already hurting you.”

– Brennan Lee Mulligan (as the Beast) in College Humor’s “Dimension 20: Neverafter” campaign

People’s bad decisions, just like their good decisions, are based on previous experiences. We can look at this on a very personal, individual level and also on a community level. Either consideration gives us an opportunity to step back and gain some insight (i.e., understanding) about our sore spots.

We all have sore spots. When someone pokes them – or when we think someone is going to poke them – it is natural to go on the defensive. We may experience anger, fear, sadness, or all of the above. In certain situations we may feel the need/desire to fight, flee, or freeze/collapse. What we seldom feel when someone is poking our sore spot(s) is tolerance. Even if we start off being patient and searching for understanding, enough pokes will make most of us want to poke back. Then we are off to the races… the “let’s see who can hurt whom the most” races.

“Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.”

– attributed to Mahatma Gandhi

Despite what we may think in the moment, there is almost never a winner in situations where everyone is pushing everyone else’s buttons. Everybody loses… and walks away with more sore spots. We also walk away with more reasons to react to situations without thinking through why we are reacting the way we are and the ramifications of our thoughts, words, and deeds. If, however, we take a step back and turn inward, we engage the opportunity to overcome our sore spots and our egos. We take advantage of the opportunity to engage loving-kindness and understanding.

There are several practices that help us turn inward during challenging times. I often recommend the “4 R’s” (Recognize, Refrain, Relax, Resolve) as taught by Ani Pema Chödrön – and often throw in an extra R or two: specifically, to Remember why you are doing what you are doing. Other, similar, practices all provide the opportunity to gain more understanding of oneself and can also help us to better understand the people and the situations around us. These practices can also help us understand how our actions can contribute to peace in the world. This is the understanding Mahatma Gandhi had when he first experienced racism in South Africa – and that understanding led to his life’s work.

“He was not just a separate, physical creature; he saw that he – and, crucially, every other human being – was essentially spiritual, with ‘strength [that] does not come from physical capacity [but] from an indomitable will.’

After this first instinctive ‘holding on to Truth,’ Gandhi turned inward. He had met injustice; it degraded everyone, but everyone accepted it: How could he change himself to help everyone involved see more clearly? Somehow, dimly at first, but with increasing sureness, he had already grasped that a person can be an ‘instrument of peace,’ a catalyst of understanding, by getting himself out of the way.”

– quoted from “The Transformation” section of “Preface to the Vintage Spiritual Classics Edition” as published in The Essential Gandhi: An Anthology of his Writings on his Life, Work, and Ideas, edited by Louis Fischer, preface by Eknath Easwaran

“This, then, is the second crucially important principle that we discover in Gandhi. Contrary to what has been thought in recent centuries in the West, the spiritual or interior life is not an exclusively private affair. (In reality, the deepest and most authentic Western traditions are at one with those of the East on this point.) The spiritual life of one person is simply the life of all manifesting itself in him. While it is very necessary to emphasize the truth that as the person deepens his own thought in silence he enters into a deeper understanding of and communion with the spirit of his people (or of his Church), it is also important to remember that as he becomes engaged in the crucial struggles of his people in seeking justice and truth in himself by seeking justice and truth together with his brother, he tends to liberate the truth in himself by seeking true liberty for all.”

– quoted from “II. Introduction: Gandhi and the One-Eyed Giant” by Thomas Merton as published in Gandhi on Non-Violence: Selected Texts from Mohandas K. Gandhi’s Non-Violence in Peace and War, Edited by Thomas Merton, Preface by Mark Kurlansky

We are all connected in multiple ways. To paraphrase e e cummings, we carry each other inside of ourselves. Ironically, sometimes we need to take a step back in order to truly recognize and honor our connections. The example I often use in the practice is to recognize that even if we don’t take a physical bind (on the outside) our arms and hands are still connected. They are connected through our hearts and through our minds. Similarly, if we have a pain on one side of our body, we may be so focused on the presenting pain that we fail to notice how the hurting part is connected to the other parts. When we understand the connections, however, we may be able to reduce (or even eliminate) future harm and suffering.

“When you understand, you cannot help but love. You cannot get angry. To develop understanding, you have to practice looking at all living beings with the eyes of compassion. When you understand, you love. And when you love, you naturally act in a way that can relieve the suffering of people.”

– quoted from “2. The Three Gems” in Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh, forward by Jane Goodall, illustrated by Mayumi Oda

The physical example above can also be applied to interpersonal situations. When we understand how we work (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and energetically) we can be more present and more intentional/mindful. This is true on an individual level and also on a community level. Ultimately, it also brings us back to one of the original questions: How much time and effort do you put into understanding yourself and/or the people around you?

Would you be willing to put in the same amount of time that professional trapeze artists put into their art?

There is beauty, athleticism, and risk involved every time people fly through the air. There also must be some level of understanding about how everyone and everything works. Finally, there must be trust/faith. There must be trust/faith between the artists and also between the artists and all of the technicians and support crew. Then, too, there is trust between everyone and the audience – because we are all connected. We may not always be consciously aware of the connections and we may not always (consciously) understand how those connections work. However, the beauty is magnified when we respect and honor those connections. Our esteem rises when we understand all that it takes to put on the show.

Life is very much the same.

“mortals)
climbi
           ng i
           nto eachness begi
           n
dizzily
             swingthings
of speeds of
trapeze gush somersaults
open  ing
                   hes shes

– quoted from the poem “[‘mortals…’]” by e e cummings

Sunday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10142020 ‘I carry you in my heart’”]

“i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)”

– quoted from the poem “[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]” by e e cummings

Corrections: During the practice, I accidently attributed the Eknath Easwaran quote to Thomas Merton. I also used a quote often attributed to Albert Einstein (“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.”); however, I could not confirm an original source.

### UNDERSTAND LOVE ###

Another One On Words (a mini-post) December 17, 2022

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Healing Stories, Life, Music, Philosophy, Wisdom, Women, Yoga.
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“Composition is a discipline; it forces us to think. If you want to ‘get in touch with your feelings,’ fine—talk to yourself; we all do. But, if you want to communicate with another thinking human being, get in touch with your thoughts. Put them in order; give them a purpose; use them to persuade, to instruct, to discover, to seduce. The secret way to do this is to write it down and then cut out the confusing parts.”

– William Safire 

Since William Safire was born today in 1929, this is a day when I like to focus on words and the power of words. Also, around this time every year, the major (English) dictionaries reveal the words that have made up our zeitgeist. I was going to write a sentence featuring the 2022 words of the year, but the results were disturbing. Comment below if you come up with a Spelling Bee worthy sentence that’s not disturbing. Meanwhile, you can click here to check out a recent post that references one of the words.

“gaslighting” “goblin mode” “woman”

….

– 2022 Word of the Year from Merriam-Webster, Oxford, and dictionary.com, respectively 

Please join me for a 90-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Saturday, December 17th) at 12:00 PM. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “07112020 An Introduction”]

 

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

Please note that this is the last Saturday practice of 2022. Check the “Class Schedules” calendar for special events on New Year’s Day 2023!

 

### WORD ###

Having A Say, redux (the “missing” post) November 13, 2022

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, First Nations, Hope, Life, Meditation, Men, Music, One Hoop, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.
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This is the “missing” post for Sunday, November 11th. Some passages were previously posted. You can request an audio recording of the practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.)

“If her functioning as a female is not enough to define woman, if we decline also to explain her through ‘the eternal feminine’, and if nevertheless we admit, provisionally, that women do exist, then we must face the question ‘what is a woman’?

To state the question is, to me, to suggest, at once, a preliminary answer. The fact that I ask it is in itself significant. A man would never set out to write a book on the peculiar situation of the human male. But if I wish to define myself, I must first of all say: ‘I am a woman’; on this truth must be based all further discussion. A man never begins by presenting himself as an individual of a certain sex; it goes without saying that he is a man. The terms masculine and feminine are used symmetrically only as a matter of form, as on legal papers. In actuality the relation of the two sexes is not quite like that of two electrical poles, for man represents both the positive and the neutral, as is indicated by the common use of man to designate human beings in general; whereas woman represents only the negative, defined by limiting criteria, without reciprocity. In the midst of an abstract discussion it is vexing to hear a man say: ‘You think thus and so because you are a woman’; but I know that my only defence [sic] is to reply: ‘I think thus and so because it is true,’ thereby removing my subjective self from the argument. It would be out of the question to reply: ‘And you think the contrary because you are a man’, for it is understood that the fact of being a man is no peculiarity.”

– quoted from “Introduction: Woman as Other” in The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

Almost every January, I ask the question “What is a woman?” Then, at various times throughtout the year, I offer different lives and perspectives that could be considered as answers. But, whenever I address the issue, I recognize that the “controversial” question Simone de Beauvoir posed in 1949, is no less controversial today. In fact, it can seem more controversial today, because it is often used as a “gotcha” question asked by people who have vastly different intentions than Simone de Beauvoir. Remember, she was asking and addressing the question for philosophical insight. And, here I am doing the same.

I know, I know, I’m just asking for trouble here, but please consider a couple of things before moving forward. First, as I just mentioned, this is not the first time – in class or on the blog – that I’ve referenced what it means to be a woman. Second, I’m referencing it here in relation to Patanjali’s Yoga Sūtras. Specifically, I’m referencing the meaning of the word “woman” – or “women,” “wimmin,” “womyn,” “womban,” “womon,” and “womxn” – in relation to Yoga Sūtra 3.17, which indicates that “By making samyama on the sound of a word, one’s perception of its meaning, and one’s reaction to it – three things which are ordinarily confused – one obtains understanding of all sounds uttered by living beings.” [NOTE: “one’s reaction to it” is sometimes translated as “knowledge of it.”]

I absolutely could use a less “controversial” word – as other teachers do. I’ve heard a teacher reference a pencil and another teacher (Vyasa, perhaps) used a cow. In class, I actually cited Swami J, of the Himalayan tradition, who used the example of a table in his commentary on the sūtras. Those are all great examples, simple examples; because, if you know English (assuming you are reading this text in it’s original language), the sight/sound of each of those words is associated with specific objects, which immediately come to mind. If you don’t know a word, it is meaningless to you. Nothing comes to mind or you think of something that feels off, not quite right. But, you don’t know the word, so you need more information.

On the flip side, you can know the word and still need more information, because your perception of what I mean may not be the same as mine. We may not have the same object(s) in mind. However, by using our supernormal power of words, we can come to an agreement about the qualities that make up the concept that exists in the world (i.e., the pencil-ness, cow-ness, and/or table-ness of the thing). In other words, we can go deeper into our understanding of what makes something what we perceive/understand it to be.

While it seems like people have been going deeper into our understanding of what it means to be a woman since the dawn of time (or, at the very least, since recorded history), there’s always the possibility — not to mention the fear — that someone will completely miss the point.

“The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow in our souls. Every truth we see is ours to give the world, not to keep to oursleves along, for in so doing we cheat humanity out of their rights and check our own development.

quoted from Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s speech at the National American Woman Suffrage Association convention (and birthday celebration for Susan B. Anthony), February 18, 1890

If we just stick with modern (Western) history, the question of what it means to be a woman is a question that contains multitudes. For instance, when we talk about Miss Maria Mitchell and Rabbi Regina Jonas, the question becomes about their vocations. In a conversation about Simone de Beauvoir, Virginia Woolf, and Mary Oliver, the question becomes about upbringing and sex(uality). For Edna St. Vincent Millay and Zitkála-Šá, as well as for Gwendolyn Brooks, Louise Erdrich, Nikki Giovanni, and so many others, the question becomes about culture, race, and behavior (including sex and sexuality). Then the conversation turns to health and well-being, especially mental health, when we focus on Bertha Pappenheim (“Anna O”). We can easily pickup all of those threads if we are discussion Lorraine Hansberry, Maya Angelou, or Ntozake Shange, because their lives prove that the question of what it means to be a woman is always about all of those things – and also about rights and responsibilities. We can start our conversation about what the word means, to us and to others, at any one of those intersecting points. However, since Saturday was the anniversary of the birth of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, let’s start with the issue of rights and responsibilities.

Born November 12, 1815, in Johnstown, New York, Elizabeth Cady Stanton was a social activist, abolitionist, and suffragist. While she was one of the most influential leaders of the women’s rights movement, she does not fit the stereotypical image of a “women’s liber” or a “man-hating feminist.” She was, for example, no Susan B. Anthony. However, one could argue that there would have been no Susan B. Anthony — as she is remembered today — without Elizabeth Cady Stanton. While their backgrounds and life choices were different, they were united in their quest for equal rights.

“If I were to draw up a set of rules for the guidance of reformers, such as Franklin and other celebrities tell us they did for their own use, I should put at the head of the list: Do all you can, no matter what, to get people to think on your reform, and then, if your reform is good, it will come about in due season.”

– quoted from a diary entry dated “Cleveland, August 20 [1888]” by Elizabeth Cady Stanton (as published in Elizabeth Cady Stanton As Revealed in Her Letterz, Diary and Reminiscences, Edited by Theodore Stanton and Harriot Stanton Blatch, Volume Two])

Elizabeth Cady grew up in a wealthy family with a conservative lawyer for a father (Daniel Cady) and and a very progressive abolitionist mother (Margaret Livingston Cady). Some biographers say that the Cady family had servants, at least three of whom were African American. At least one of those “servants” (Peter Teabout) was actually enslaved and it was in his company that she and her sisters sometimes attended church. 

It seems that it was just her and her sisters that sat in the back pews of the church. While she was the seventh of eleven children, six of her siblings, including all of her brothers, died before reaching adulthood. Her last brother died when she was around ten and she responded to her parents’ grief by stating that she would live the lives her brothers would not get a chance to live. Her father’s response, that he wished she were a boy, was the first time she felt there was a difference between her sisters and her brothers. 

Despite the perceived difference between the siblings, Elizabeth Cady was well-educated — for a girl of her time — and received high marks and recognition in her advanced classes. She even convinced her father to send her to Troy Female Seminary, where she became actively interested in the abolitionist movement. It was through the seminary and the abolitionis movement that she and befriended Frederick Douglass. It was also the way she met her greatest collaborators in life: Henry Brewster Stanton and Susan B. Anthony.

“This can already be seen in the different reception given a new citizen of the world. If the father or someone else asked what ‘it’ was after a successful birth, the answer might be either the satisfied report of a boy, or—with pronounced sympathy for the disappointment— ‘Nothing, a girl,’ or ‘Only a girl.’”

– Bertha Pappenheim (b. 02/27/1859) as quoted in The Jewish Woman: New Perspectives, edited by Elizabeth Koultun

“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.”

– quoted from “Part IV – The Formative Years: Chapter XII. Childhood” in The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir (b. 01/09/1908)

Elizabeth Cady and Henrey Brewster Stanton met at the home of her  first cousin, Gerrit Smith (son of her maternal aunt), who was a member of the United States House of Representatives and one of the “Secret Six,” who funded John Brown’s 1859 raid on Harper’s Ferry, which initiated the revolt that was a prelude to the Civil War. At the time that they met, Henry Brewster Stanton was an attorny, abolitionist, and social reformer, who would go on to become a journalist and politician. Some say his support of the suffragist movement was tangential, but no one can argue that it was instrumental. It was instrumental on many levels, including the fact that he unconditionally supported his wife.

When they married in 1840, the couple omitted the word “obey” from their vows — which was a common Quaker tradition, although neither of them were Quakers. Elizabeth Cady took her husband’s surname, but she was never known simply as “Mrs. Henry B. Stanton;” she was always, in some way, recognized as “Cady Stanton.” But the exclusion or inclusion of a single word, did not diminish the couples union. Nor did it diminish her role in the household.

“First, no woman should say, ‘I am but a woman!’ But a woman! What more can you ask to be? Born a woman — born with the average brain of humanity — born with more than the average heart — if you are mortal, what higher destiny could you have? No matter where you are nor what you are, you are power.”

– quoted from Maria Mitchell: Life, Letters, and Journals by Maria Mitchell (b. 08/01/1818)

Mrs. Cady Stanton was a proud wife and mother of seven. Contrary to the social norms of the time, she recognized that healthy women had similar desires as healthy men; believed women should control a couple’s sexual relationships; and proclaimed a man’s “drunkeness” as grounds for divorce (or, at the very least, abstinance). She also belived that a woman should absolutely have dominion over her body when it came to childbearing. She was equally as bold about declaring her motherhood (when others were more demure silent) and would raise a red or white flag in front of her house depending on the sex of her newborn child. 

Of course, her “voluntary motherhood” required a compromise when it came to social reform and that compromise required her to be at home when her husband was away. While Henry Brewster Stanton traveled ten months out of the year in the 1850’s, Elizabeth Cady Stanton felt she was “a caged lioness.” However, her partnership with Ms. Anthony made the compromise less restrictive. Whenever the family moved, they set up a room for Susan B. Anthony and the women figured out the best way to work towards their goals: 

Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote; Susan B. Anthony organized and spoke.

“Eventually Anthony supplanted Henry in Elizabeth’s affections. Both Henry and Susan moved in and out of her life and her household, but overall, Stanton probably spent more hours and days with Anthony than any other adult.”

– quoted from the “Methodological Note: Stanton in Psychological Perspective” section of In Her Own Right: The Life of Elizabeth Cady Stanton by Elisabeth Griffith

The collaboration between Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton was not restricted to speeches. They co-founded the New York Women’s State Temperance Society – after Anthony was prevented from speaking at a temperance conference because she was female – and the Women’s Loyal National League in 1863. The league, which used different iterations of the name, was specifically formed to lobby for the abolition of slavery. At one time they collected almost 40,000 signatures in support of abolition, which was the largest petition drive in United States history at that time. They also initiated the American Equal Rights Association (1866) and founded the National Woman Suffrage Association (1869).

On January 8, 1868, Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton started publishing the weekly paper The Revolution. The paper’s motto was “Men, their rights and nothing more; Women, their rights and nothing less.” In addition to women’s rights and the suffrage movement, the paper covered general politics, the labor movement, and finance. Ms. Anthony ran the business end of things. Mrs. Cady Stanton co-edited the newspaper with the abolitionist minister Parker Pillsbury. The initially received funding from the transportation entrepreneur George Francis Train – who shared their views on women’s rights, but not on abolition – but eventually transferred control of the paper to the wealthy writer and activist Laura Curtis Bullard, who toned “the revolution” down a bit.

The ladies that started it, however, did not tone down at all.

“He has created a false public sentiment by giving to the world a different code of morals for men and women, by which moral delinquencies, which exclude women from society, are not only tolerated, but deemed of little account in man.”

 

quoted from the The Declaration of Sentiments by Elizabeth Cady Stanton, with Mary Ann M’Clintock

Elizabeth Cady Stanton was actively engaged in the fight for civil rights long before meeting Susan B. Anthony. Along with Lucretia Coffin Mott and Martha Coffin Wright, she organized the Seneca Falls Convention, which was the first women’s rights convention organized by women and was the primary author of the Declaration of Sentiments. One hundred of the approximately 300 attendees to the conference signed the declaration, which Elizabeth Cady Stanton, with assistance from Mary Ann M’Clintock, had modeled after the Declaration of Independence. Mrs. Cady Stanton (and her sister, Harriet Cady Eaton), Mrs. M’Clintock (plus her daughters Elizabeth W. and Mary M’Clintock and her half-sister, Margaret Pryor), Mrs. Mott, and and Mrs. Wright were among the 68 female signers; Frederick Douglass, Thomas M’Clintock, and James Mott were among the the 32 male signers.

Frederick Douglass’s name on the Declaration of Sentiments was not an accident or random happenstance. He and Mrs. Cady Stanton met early in her crusade for universal suffrage and he was one of her staunch supporters during the Seneca Falls Convention. In fact, some historians note that it was his very vocal support that led to the acceptance of the Declaration. While his support for women’s suffrage did not wane, he, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Susan B. Anthony (with whom he would also eventually befriend) did temporarily break away from each other when the issue of suffrage was divided over race and gender. He also called out E. Cady Stanton for using racist terms about Black and Asian men, when it looked like they might get the vote before (white) women. 

That divide between the three friends is a great way to highlight the fact that the fight for voting rights has always marginalized already marginalized people. It has asked people to define themselves as one thing over the other. This, as many scholars have pointed out, is not something straight, white, Christian males in America have historically had to do. They can just be “men” and everything else is understood as a foregone conclusion.

Marginalized people, however, have had to “pick one” all the time. This was especially true in the 19th century, when the presence of Black women was desired by both sides of the suffrage movement. Yet, to deny one side of themselves meant that they could be excluded from voting; either because they were Black… or because they were a woman.

Susan B. Anthony forced this issue into the courts when she and fourteen other women attempted to vote in Rochester, New York, in 1872. She was arrested, indicted, “tried,” and convicted during the very public and very publicized 1873 criminal trial (United States v. Susan B. Anthony). The case hinged on the definition of a citizen (as it related to the 14th Amendment) and the definition of a woman. After establishing that “the defendant was, on the 5th of November, 1872, a woman,” the judge instructed the all male jury – all male because women were prohibited from serving on juries – to find the defendant guilty without discussion or deliberation, which they did. Ms. Anthony was instructed to pay a fine, of $100 plus court cases, which she did not.

It’s unclear how, exactly, they determined that she was a woman on the date in question.

“U. S. Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-TN): Can you provide a definition for the word ‘woman’?

Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson: Can I provide a definition? [Senator Blackburn confirms.] No. I can’t.

U. S. Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-TN): You can’t?

Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson: Not in this context. I’m not a biologist.

U. S. Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-TN): So, you believe the word ‘woman’ is so unclear and controversial that you can’t give me a definition?

Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson: Senator, in my work as a judge, what I do is, I address disputes. If there is a dispute about a definition, people make arguments and I look at the law and I decide….”

– quoted from the confirmation hearing of Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States Ketanji Brown Jackson (Tuesday, March 22, 2022)

Fast forward to the 21st century, where Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and Janelle Monet sing lyrics that seem to be lifted directly from the Declaration of Sentiments or Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s diary – and to that moment when then-Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson was being interviewed to be the first African-American woman on the Supreme Court. Fast forward to that moment, when two very different women faced the question about the definition (the meaning) of the word woman.

When I heard Senator Marsha Blackburn’s question, I heard it as so many people heard it: as that “gotcha” question some people like to ask these days. I also heard it, as so many others have heard it throughout history, as a pick-a-side question. The sides might be defined in different ways now, versus in the 19th and early 20th centuries, but it still marginalizes people who are already marginalized. What I did not hear was a question asked with a sincere interest in the inquiry. What I did not hear was a question posed with an interest in how any of us decides on our answers.

Many people, Senator Blackburn included, have said that Supreme Court Justice Brown Jackson did not answer the question. Others have pointed out that she absolutely answered the question – she just didn’t answer the question with either/any of the answers they wanted to hear. It doesn’t help that many media outlets only reported a portion of her answer. In fact, most major outlets only quoted her as saying, “I’m not a biologist.” 

Which, I think we can all agree is true.

I also think, though, that the issue isn’t whether or not Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson is a biologist. And, despite the way the exchange was reported, the issue isn’t even whether or not being a biologist is relevant. The relevant part,in that case, was how a judge, or justice, defines things (i.e., words) as it relates to the law and specific contexts related to the law. As then-Judge Brown Jackson pointed out, the role of judges, or justices, is to look at the differing definitions (when there is a dispute),the arguments behind the definitions, and the law. In other words, they focus-concentrate-meditate on the word, people’s understandings of the word, and the related (or relevant) qualities (as they apply to the law).

Take a moment, to think apply the tool of samyama to the word “woman” (or any of the other aforementioned variations of the theme)*:

  • What, or who, comes to mind? 

  • What’s your “standard” for a woman? 

  • How many women do you know that don’t fit your exact standard? 

  • What are the overlapping qualities that apply to your “standard” and also to those outside of your standard?

  • How do you know you know if someone has those overlapping qualities?

*NOTE: This is a deliberately simple rubric, so that you can decide on attributes. If your only attribute is “sex/female,” you could skip the first two questions or you could layout a biological definition of female.

Yoga Sūtra 3.35: hṛdaye cittasaṃvit

– “By making samyama on the heart, one gains knowledge of the contents of the mind.”

Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.

NOTE: YouTube features several extra videos that are not available on Spotify. Some are speeches worth hearing. Some are music videos worth seeing. To make up the difference, the Spotify playlist has its own Easter egg.

ERRATA: The original post linked to the wrong YouTube playlist. My apologies for the inconvenience.

“If I am to confess what drove me, as a woman, to become a rabbi, two things come to mind. My belief in God’s calling and my love of my fellow man. God has bestowed on each one of us special skills and vocations without stopping to ask about our gender. This means each one of us, whether man or woman, has a duty to create and work in accordance with those God-given skills.”

– quoted from the doctoral thesis entitled “May a woman hold rabbinic office?” by Rabbi Regina Jonas (b. 08/03/1902)

### LET’S GET LOUD ~JL ###

Having A Say, redux (mostly the music) November 12, 2022

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Life, Music, Suffering, Yoga.
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Please join me for a 90-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Saturday, November 12th) at 12:00 PM. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.

NOTE: There are several extra videos that are not available on Spotify. Some are speeches worth hearing. Some are music videos worth seeing.

ERRATA: I originally linked to the wrong YouTube playlist. My apologies for the inconvenience.

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In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

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