FTWMI: I Don’t Mou’ About You, But… (a quick note, expanded with excerpts) November 8, 2025
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Changing Perspectives, Depression, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Men, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Suffering, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: 988, ALEC, anxiety, Brendan Maher, Depression, Dorothy Day, Men's Health, mental health, Movember, No(shave)mber, suicide, Suicide Prevention
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May we all be safe and protected / May we all be peaceful and happy / May we all be healthy and strong!
For Those Who Missed It: The following was previously posted. Links, class details, and excerpts have been added.
“‘We respond differently to life’s unexpected challenges. Sometimes, though, that can leave us feeling worried or overwhelmed. It’s our hope that we can connect men with the right support, and equip their peers with the confidence and skills to reach out and help when it’s most needed.’”
— Brendan Maher, Global Director of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention, Movember
I don’t [know] about you, but — with all that’s going on — I feel some kind of way. What kind of way, you might ask and — depending on who you are and how you ask — I will be anything from vaguely honest to brutally honest. While you might think that the determining factor on that spectrum is the “who” part, it actually may be the “how” part.
As I mentioned a couple of years ago, there has been some heightened awareness around how to ask someone how they were doing. In particular, given some of the things that happened in 2020, there started to be growing awareness around how people asked when they were asking someone who might be perceived as being different from them. That perceived difference might be related to race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, age, weight, ability/disability, sexuality, gender… political affiliation. (Just saying.)
Well, today seems like as good a day as any to check back in about how we check in and why it’s so important to check in.
Click on the excerpt title below if you missed the Movember history lesson.
“We repeat, there is nothing that we can do but love, and dear God – please enlarge our hearts to love each other, to love our neighbor, to love our enemy as well as our friend.”
— quoted from “Love Is The Measure” printed in The Catholic Worker (June 1946, 2) by Dorothy Day (b. 1897)
Click on the excerpt title below for my post on checking in (with little nods to Dorothy Day (born today in 1897).
“What’s happening now is impacting us all in different ways. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do, where to start or what to say. As we push through this together, we hope we can empower people to connect with others who are struggling and find the help they need now.”
— Brendan Maher, Global Director of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention, Movember
Please join me for a virtual yoga practice on Zoom, today (Saturday, Movember 8th) at 12:00 PM. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [“Look for Movember 3rd 2020”]
Ask
Listen
Encourage Action
Check (Back) In
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
### But, No, How Mou You, Really? ###
Cowboy, I Moustache You To Go… Over Here (the “missing” Sunday post) November 29, 2021
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, California, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Faith, First Nations, Fitness, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Loss, Love, Men, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Poetry, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Twin Cities, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: ALEC, Arthur Frank Wertheim, Barbara Bair, Benjamin Franklin Keith, Betty Blake Rogers, Broadway, California, Cherokee Nation, Edward Franklin Albee II, Eric Bigger, Gleason score, Gustav Walter, Harry Houdini, M. Jane Johansson, Martin Beck, Martin Lehman, mental health, Morris Meyerfeld Jr, Moses Meyerfeld, Movember, music, No(shave)mber, Oklahoma, Orpheum Circuit, President Calvin Coolidge, prostate health, PSA Test, Samuel Goldwyn, stage migration, Steven K. Gragert, testicular cancer, Texas Jack, Will Rogers, Will Rogers Phenomenon, William Hammerstein, Wirth Brothers, Ziegfeld Follies
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“Happy Chanukah!” to those who are celebrating.
This is the “missing” post for Sunday, Movember 28th. There are mental health references, but nothing graphic. You can request an audio recording of either practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.)
“Anyhow, Mr. Coolidge – I am going to tell you about the people over the radio. You can’t talk over the radio and use the same type of stuff that you do on the stage, because you haven’t got that kind of audience. Everybody listening in over the radio wouldn’t laugh like this. A radio audience – and I’m not saying this to flatter you, but everybody, you all wouldn’t have come in if you hadn’t had a sense of humor. There has to be something the matter with you or you wouldn’t have come in. They don’t have that over the radio. I am sure you all had to have a sense of humor; it is certain that sex appeal drew nobody in here, and I’m positive that nobody come in to whet their intellect. No, you come in here to get just a laugh, but over the radio you have people listening in there with no sense of humor at all. Anybody can tune in on that.”
— quoted from The Papers of Will Rogers: From the Broadway Stage to the National Stage, Volume Four, September 1915 – July 1928 by Will Rogers, edited by Steven K. Gragert and M. Jane Johansson
It may have been on his lecture tour, maybe even on April 16, 1928, that Will Rogers said, “There has to be something the matter with you or you wouldn’t have come in.” I think that statement could be applied to yoga — as can the rest of that discussion about having a sense of humor and about the difference between sharing space live and in-person versus sharing virtual or recorded space. There’s no denying that there’s a difference. And while it may also be true that people are not drawn in by the sex appeal or to “whet their intellect”, it doesn’t change the fact yoga can be sexy and intellectual, as well as funny — just like vaudeville.
Vaudeville, an upscale version of your garden variety variety show, was a 19th century French invention that started experienced a great deal of popularity in North America in the 1880’s. A large part of that popularity can be traced to the “Orpheum Circuit”, which was started when the German producer and American immigrant Gustav Walter built the first Orpheum Opera House in San Francisco. With financial backing from another German-American, Morris Meyerfeld Jr (born November 17, 1855 as Moses Meyerfeld), the impresario opened a second and third Orpheum in pre-existing theatres in Los Angeles and Kansas City, Missouri, respectively. All three theatres opened to sold out houses and experienced great success. Part of that success was due to the fact that the duo could book entertainers who went from one house to the other and used the publicity in one city to push ticket sales in the other cities.
Their plan was to expand through the Midwest. However, Gustav Walter died unexpectedly (after suffering with appendicitis for four days) on May 9, 1898, just three months after the Kansas City theatre opened. Morris (née Moses) Meyerfeld became the circuit’s president and, in order to carry out the original plan, paired up with Martin Lehman. After opening five more theatres, the pair joined forces with the Western Circuit of Vaudeville Theaters (WCVT); hired Hungarian immigrant Martin Beck as a booking agent (the same booking agent that would give Harry Houdini his big break); and eventually created the Vaudeville Managers Association (VMA) with leaders of the Eastern Vaudeville Circuit, like Benjamin Franklin Keith and Edward Franklin Albee II.
Eventually, the big circuits merged to form the Keith-Albee-Orpheum (KAO) circuit — which, after more mergers and acquisitions, became Radio-Keith-Orpheum (RKO) and included the movie studio RKO Radio Pictures, Inc. (later known as RKO Pictures). But that’s jumping way ahead in the story. Not to mention the fact that by the time RKO Pictures formed in 1928, Will Rogers had already filmed almost 50 silent films produced by a Polish-American immigrant named Samuel Goldwyn (born August 27, 1882 as Szmuel Gelbfisz, and also known as Samuel Goldfish). So, let’s step back a minute…
According to The Papers of Will Rogers: From Vaudeville to Broadway, Volume Three, September 1908 – 1915, (by Will Rogers, edited by Arthur Frank Wertheim and Barbara Bair), the first Orpheum opened June 20, 1887, and Gustav Walter was booking vaudeville-only bills by 1897. Meaning that, Will Rogers was seven when some of the seeds for his success were first planted and that by the time he was 18 those seeds had taken root.
After working at his family’s ranch (Dog Iron Ranch), spending some time in Argentina and the Pampas, and working at a ranch in South Africa, “Oklahoma’s Favorite Son” started doing his rope tricks in the circus. First, he performed in South Africa with Texas Jack Wild West Circus. Then, he performed in Australia with the Wirth Brothers Circus. He was about twenty-five when he returned to the United States, roping and riding at the Saint Louis World’s Fair, rodeos, and the vaudeville circuits that were just starting to come together. He was twenty-five when his rope “tricks” saved the day at Madison Square Garden and caught the attention of William Hammerstein (see “Will Rogers” link above), who kept him consistently employed, performing on a New York rooftop, for years.
In many ways, however, that rooftop gig was a bit of a fluke and the success that followed was, again, in large part because of the infrastructure that had been established by the vaudeville producers. Those previously mentioned partnerships, collaborations, and organizations connected audiences that previously had been targeted by niche entertainers and created a circuit that relied on entertainers who could appeal to people in urban as well as rural areas. The circuit would eventually guarantee performers anywhere from 20 weeks to several years worth of performances — something that had previously been unheard of for entertainers like the cowboy philosopher or a certain “handcuff king”.
“Will Rogers, billed as the Oklahoma Cowboy, in a rope act is a feature at the Orpheum this week. He does wonders in rope spinning but you get so much interested in his ‘patter’ that you forget to watch the tricks, as he calls them. He is a monolinguist disguised in chaps, and one of the best ever….
PD. Printed in Kansas City Post and Journal, ca. 26 October 1914. Scrapbook 1914, CPpR”
— quoted from The Papers of Will Rogers: From Vaudeville to Broadway: Volume Three, September 1908 – August 1915 by Will Rogers, edited by Arthur Frank Wertheim and Barbara Bair
NOTE: The scrapbook cited above, containing a printed copy of the Kansas City Post and Journal, is part of the collection at the Will Rogers State Historic Park, Pacific Palisades, California (CPpR).
Will Rogers signed a major Orpheum Circuit contract in December 1908, soon after he married Betty Blake (and only days after she saw him perform for the first time). The newlyweds spent the first four months of 1909 traveling the circuit together — something they would continue to do off and on throughout their marriage. By 1910, Will Rogers was so popular that he was being booked by all the major vaudeville producers and even mounted his own “Wild West” show. For many years, including in 1913 and 1914, he spent the end of summer through the beginning of winter on the Orpheum Circuit. In fact, in August 1914, he started in San Francisco (performing five days at the very first Orpheum theatre); then, performed at six California Orpheum theatres plus a non “Orpheum” theatre in California; and eight Orpheum theatres from Salt Lake City, Utah, to Minneapolis (November 8-14) and Duluth (November 16-21). From November 22-28, he performed at the Orpheum Theatre in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Ten years later, on November 28, 1925, he performed in Washington, D. C. and visited with President Calvin Coolidge.
While I normally reference “the Will Rogers phenomenon” (as it relates to prostate health) at the beginning of Movember, I decided to use that last little bit of trivia to bring awareness to the fact that stage migration also occurs in relation to mental health. Remember, “the Will Rogers phenomenon” is a situation where moving something from one category to another increases the average value of both categories. In medical stage migration, this can occur when awareness, testing, and/or overall medical understanding changes diagnosis so that previously undetected illness is detected — which can increase the average life expectancy of people who are considered “healthy” as well as those who are considered “unhealthy”.
Note, the “Will Rogers” links above all go to the same post about prostate cancer diagnosis, but this situation also holds true for other health issues where early detection is the key to survival. It holds true for different kinds of cancer, and also applies to heart and lung issues, diabetes, and mental health issues.
We all know that the last few years have been rough — on everyone — and the challenges in life include increased physical, mental, and emotional stress. If we consider these akin to the three-fold sorrows, then we (humans) have the power to eliminate this dis-ease. Eliminating our own suffering, however, requires awareness and communication. In the last few years, there has been an increase in people reporting mental health issues. While that can be daunting, consider that people often have a mental health crisis that “no one saw coming”, in part because people didn’t share what they were experience and/or seek help. Some of the discrepancies between men and women’s health, including the fact that 4 in 5 people affected by suicide are men, may come down to socialization.
It sucks that so many people are struggling, but — believe it or not — an increase in reporting is actually good news. The fact that people are sharing their experiences and seeking guidance, even treatment, is actually a good thing. It’s also the smart thing.
“When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.”
— Will Rogers
Sunday’s playlist is is available on YouTube and Spotify. [“Look for “Mov 4th & Will Rogers 2020”]
You don’t have to take my word for all this! Click here for the US Movember website page on mental health, featuring men sharing their own stories. Just click and scroll down.
“I realized, over time, that when I actually began to talk about what I was going through, it actually began to heal me.”
— Eric Bigger, quoted on the (US) Movember website
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
11/16/2025: Revised with formatting and some links updated.
### ALEC ###
You Moustache This Out! November 8, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Donate, Faith, Healing Stories, Health, Karma Yoga, Life, Love, Men, One Hoop, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Volunteer, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.Tags: ALEC, Brendan Maher, Dorothy Day, mental health, R U OK?
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“We repeat, there is nothing that we can do but love, and dear God – please enlarge our hearts to love each other, to love our neighbor, to love our enemy as well as our friend.”
– quoted from “Love Is The Measure” printed in The Catholic Worker (June 1946, 2) by Dorothy Day (b. today 1897)
Maybe it’s just me; but have you noticed that this year (in particular) there seems to be more awareness around the fact that there’s a “wrong” way to ask someone how they are doing? Don’t get me wrong – I think we all appreciate when someone cares enough to ask about our overall well-being (and then sticks around to listen). And anyone who is over the age of five knows that there are levels of “Fine” and “OK” that either hold a wealth of subtext or a complete lack of context.
Earlier this year, after the world watched George Floyd being killed, there were articles (like this one) about how to check in with POC – in particular, Black people – and I had more than one people say to me, “I’m not going to ask how you’re doing, because….” To some, especially my white male friends, I explained that if they would ask me how I was doing at any other time in our kinship (anthropologically speaking), they could ask me during a time when pretty much everyone in the world was horrified, terrified, exhausted, angry, and sad.
That said; I appreciated the awareness that the question (and the opportunity to ask it) were not simple and perfunctory. Similarly, I appreciated the friends, especially my close white friends, who might have done some soul searching before calling me, but were also quite aware of the fact that they could call me, “should” call me, and ask, “How are you today?” Simple as that – with no other explanations or apologies needed. I also loved that before one of my Tuesday night Zoom classes, when we were all checking in (and basically saying, we were doing “OK”), someone called out the fact that none of us was really doing “OK.” Because while checking in with each other, and ourselves, is important, being honest about how we’re doing in any given moment is also important to our overall well-being.
“And there are Father Zossima’s unforgettable words in The Brothers Karamazov – ‘Love in practice is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.’ What does the modern world know of love, with its divorces, with its light touching of the surface of love. It has never reached down into the depths, to the misery and pain and glory of love which endures to death and beyond it. We have not yet begun to learn about love. Now is the time to begin, to start afresh, to use this divine weapon.’”
– quoted from “Love Is The Measure” printed in The Catholic Worker (June 1946, 2) by Dorothy Day (b. today 1897)
This morning I came across an article entitled “6 Questions to Ask Instead of ‘How Are You?’, According to Therapists.” And, I’ll be honest, when I first saw the headline; I wasn’t going to open it. But once I did, I realized how fortunate I am to have people in my life who ask questions like, “But how are you, really, really?” (Which is not on the list, by the way.) I also noticed that the 6 ways reference can actually lead to dialogue and honesty – and that those are two parts of “sharing and caring” that can also lead to improved physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
In an earlier Movember post, I mentioned information on the (US) Movember website that always strikes me as off – but also oddly accurate: “70% of men say their friends can rely on them for support, but only 48% say that they rely on their friends.” I feel like this year, with everything that’s been going on, there might be more people checking in with each other, but not really, really checking in with each other. Which brings me to Alec (and Brendan Maher)
Brendan Maher is a “Mo Bro” and the Global Director of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention, Movember. If you go to the (US) Movember Foundation’s “Men’s Health – Mental Health and Suicide Prevention” website you will find a picture of Mr. Maher. He’s smiling gently, and looks like the kind of guy you could talk to about almost anything. At first, I thought he was “Alec.” It turns out, however, that ALEC is actually an acronym for four simple steps a person can take when checking on someone who is going through a hard time:
Ask
Listen
Encourage Action
Check (Back) In
If you check out the website for more details about ALEC (a model developed by “R U OK?”) and you compare it to the six questions referenced in the aforementioned Huffington Post article, you will find that each and every one of us can be Alec… and Alec’s friend. Each and every one of us has the ability to identify and (help) eliminate three-fold sorrow. It’s one of six our “super” human powers after all!
One of the reasons why checking in about how someone is feeling in the present moment, is that things change and the way we feel changes – physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetic/spiritually – moment to moment. As the world changes around us, it’s OK – more than OK – to be happy about certain things while simultaneously angry and frustrated (sometimes about the same things). We can simultaneously hold gratitude and sadness about a lost loved one – gratitude that they were in our lives and sadness that they are no longer with us on physical plane. We can be confused about which way to go moving forward, while also very confident about our desire not to go backwards.
One thing it is important to remember is that we embody all of the sensations, thoughts, and emotions we experience. So, as we are checking in with each other, be sure to check in with your own self. The physical practice of yoga (hatha yoga, regardless of the style or tradition) is a great opportunity to tune in and tune up. Also, take some time – maybe while you walk or sit or write – to ask yourself, “How YOU Doin’?”
“What’s happening now is impacting us all in different ways. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do, where to start or what to say. As we push through this together, we hope we can empower people to connect with others who are struggling and find the help they need now.”
– Brendan Maher, Global Director of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention, Movember
Please join me for a 65-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, Movember 8th) at 2:30 PM. I am in the process of updating the links from the “Class Schedules” calendar; however, the Meeting IDs in the calendar are the same and are correct. PLEASE NOTE: Zoom 5.0 is in effect. If you have not upgraded, you will need to give yourself extra time to log into Zoom. You can always request an audio recording of this practice (or any practice) via email or a comment below.
Today’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [“Look for Movember 3rd 2020”]
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
Some of you definitely moustache this out!
“What we would like to do is change the world–make it a little simpler for people to feed, clothe and shelter themselves as God intended them to do. And to a certain extent, by fighting for better conditions, by crying out unceasingly for the rights of the workers, of the poor, of the destitute–the rights of the worthy and the unworthy poor in other words, we can to a certain extent change the world; we can work for the oasis, the little cell of joy and peace in a harried world. We can throw our pebble in the pond and be confident that its ever widening circle will reach around the world. We can give away an onion.”
– quoted from “Love Is The Measure” printed in The Catholic Worker (June 1946, 2) by Dorothy Day (b. today 1897)
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also call the TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.