“I am now wholly occupied with the new work … and it is hard for me to tear myself away from it. I believe it comes into being as the best of my works. I must finish it as soon as possible, for I have to wind up a lot of affairs and I must soon go to London. I told you that I had completed a Symphony which suddenly displeased me, and I tore it up. Now I have composed a new symphony which I certainly shall not tear up.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his brother Modest, as published in Tchaikovsky: The Man Revealed by John Suchet
Abbie Richards is a graduate student at Wageningen University & Research in the Netherlands who, in addition to being an environment and climate scholar, has studied the history of racism, sexism, and classism in golf and also created a hierarchical pyramid of conspiracy theories. I serendipitously came across a story about her conspiracy pyramid and I started wondering where, exactly, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74 would fall in the ranks.
Going by the Gregorian calendar, “The Passionate Symphony” premiered today in 1893 in Saint Petersburg, “the Cultural Capital of Russia.” It was the second work dedicated to the composer’s nephew, Vladimir Davydov (or “Bob,” as the composer called him) and, understandably (given Bob’s personality and temperament) was full of feelings. But, before we get all up in the feels, consider that the “tenor” of the piece changed when Tchaikovsky died nine days after he conducted the premiere.
“The Passionate Symphony” was the last piece premiered in Tchaikovsky’s life time and the penultimate piece he composed (with the Piano Concerto No. 3 in E-flat major, Op. 75, the last “completed” work, premiering after his death). The symphony’s second performance (on November 18, 1893) was a memorial tribute and contained some changes made by Tchaikovsky in the nine days between the premiere and his death. Conspiracy theories about the piece started almost immediately, fueled first by a passing comment between Tchaikovsky and his dear friend Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov and then by Tchaikovsky’s sudden death, not to mention the “in memorium” subtitle that accompanied the second performance.
“If this symphony is misunderstood, and torn to shreds, I shall think it quite normal, and not at all surprising. It will not be the first time. But I myself absolutely believe it to be the best and especially the most sincere of all my works. I love it as I have never loved any single one of my other musical creations.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his nephew Vladimir “Bob” Davydov as posted in “Music History Monday: His Own Requiem?” by Robert Greenberg
Tchaikovsky and Rimsky-Korsakov were part of “The Five” (or “the Mighty Handful” or “The Mighty Five”) who collaborated together and promoted a distinctly Russian style of classical music during the 19th century. Around the time of the first performance of the “The Passionate Symphony,” Rimsky-Korsakov reportedly asked Tchaikovsky if the piece was or had a program, referring to a narrative or specific atmosphere. Tchaikovsky said yes, but did not elaborate. The fact that a cruciform melody (changing tones giving the physical appearance of a crucifix) appears in the symphony and that the symphony ends in an unconventional way got people thinking,
When some of those same people attended the memorial performance on November 18th, they listened closely for some sign that the piece was a musical farewell or “symphony as suicide note.” Of course, confirmation bias kicked in and, to this day, people point to all kinds of musical “evidence” to support their theories, despite the fact that just a month before the premiere, Tchaikovsky stated that he was in no mood to write a requiem. Plus, there’s the fact that the composer could not have known he was going to die unexpectedly at age 53 and was planning a trip to London. His death is officially attributed to cholera (reportedly caused by drinking contaminated water), but conspiracy theorists have other ideas. (And, I suppose, the fact the Tchaikovsky’s mother died of cholera when he was 14 years old is just more proof for the conspiracy pudding).
“It was not true that cholera victims were always placed in sealed coffins, and Tchaikovsky’s own mother was the proof. It is documented that she lay in an open coffin, and her children were brought into the room to kiss her forehead. None of them contracted cholera as a result.
The custom in Tchaikovsky’s day, she told me, was for the coffin to be open for family and friends to pay respects, and then sealed for the funeral.
As if to clinch the argument, she told me Tchaikovsky’s death had been certified as caused by cholera by several doctors, all experts in their field. The death certificate, and other necessary paperwork, was signed and countersigned in accordance with procedure. Furthermore, since cholera was so epidemic in St Petersburg, the newspapers carried a daily list of victims in its pages. Tchaikovsky’s name had appeared, along with others. A cover-up would have been impossible.”
— quoted from Tchaikovsky: The Man Revealed by John Suchet
But, let’s get back to what we (for a fact) know to be Tchaikovsky’s intent: a tribute to Bob. The composer’s nephew was reportedly an artistic young man who ultimately decided to go into the military. Both Tchaikovsky and Davydov struggled with depression and, it appears, their relationship helped them bolster each other. Uncle and nephew had a close enough relationship that the composer at one point considered moving to be closer to the person he described as “the paramount condition of my happiness.” Additionally, Tchaikovsky left all his royalties and copyrights to his nephew, who would eventually resign his commission in order to help his uncle Modest Ilyich Tchaikovsky (the composer’s brother) run the museum created to honor the composer’s life and work. To my knowledge, there’s no question about the fact that Vladimir “Bob” Davydov used morphine and other drugs to numb his feelings or that he committed suicide at the age of 34 — something his uncle didn’t see coming.
Both uncle and nephew, as I mentioned before, could be described as “passionate” or “emotional” (with a side of suffering) and this was the original meaning of the title Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky assigned to his penultimate work, Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74. Tchaikovsky’s brother Modest (Bob’s other artistic uncle) claimed to have suggested the title Pateticheskaya (Патетическая ) which contains an emotional nuance and complexity not found in a single English word. The nuance (and subsequent meaning) gets further lost to modern audiences, because the most common title for the piece is the French word Pathétique — which is sometimes reduced to “The Pathetic” to distinguish it from Ludwig van Beethoven’s 1798 piano sonata (with the same French name).
Based on his response to Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s question and the fact that Tchaikovsky abandoned a title that would have called attention to “a hidden program,” there is evidence that the composer did not want people to be too curious about the meaning. That evidence suggests that Tchaikovsky just wanted people to feel — maybe even to feel some of what he and Bob felt. Or, maybe, the whole piece was just note from uncle to nephew, saying, “You are not alone in this.”
“While on my travels I had another idea for a symphony – a program work this time, but its program will remain a conundrum to everyone. Let them guess at it. This program is imbued with subjectivity. While composing it in my thoughts, I often wept a great deal. Then I began writing drafts, and the work was as heated as it was rapid. In less than four days I completed the first movement, and the remaining movements were outlined in my head. There will be much that is new in this symphony where form is concerned, one point being that the finale will not be a loud allegro, but the reverse, a most unhurried adagio. You cannot imagine the bliss I feel after becoming convinced that time has not yet run out and that it is still possible to work.”
— quoted from an 1893 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to his nephew Vladimir “Bob” Davydov as posted in “Music History Monday: His Own Requiem?” by Robert Greenberg
Please join me today (Wednesday, October 28th) at 4:30 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You will need to register for the 7:15 PM class if you have not already done so. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.
“…You see, my dear friend, I am made up of contradictions, and I have reached a very mature age without resting upon anything positive, without having calmed my restless spirit either by religion or philosophy. Undoubtedly I should have gone mad but for music. Music is indeed the most beautiful of all Heaven’s gifts to humanity wandering in the darkness. Alone it calms, enlightens, and stills our souls. It is not the straw to which the drowning man clings; but a true friend, refuge, and comforter, for whose sake life is worth living.”
— quoted from 1877 letter from Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky to Nadezhda Filaretovna “N. F.” von Meck (who supported the financially supported the composer for 13-years), as published in The Life & Letters of Peter Ilich Tchaikovsky by Modeste Tchaikovsky
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
Revised formatting and some links (10/28/2024). Typographical errors corrected (10/28/2025).
### THERE WAS A WHOLE LOT OF SHAKING GOING ON TODAY IN 1957 LA ###
– quoted from the poem “Do not go gentle into that good night” by Dylan Thomas
In another time and place, today was a day all about poetry and literature. Specifically, today was day devoted to the work of Sylvia Plath (born in Boston, Massachusetts today in 1932) and Dylan Thomas (born in Swansea, Wales in 1914). I even once squeezed in a couple of references to Zadie Smith – even though she was born on October 25, 1975 (in the London borough of Brent). And, while I might make a brief reference to these literary greats in class today, I find myself a little hard pressed to navigate the emotional and socio-political quagmire of yesterday when we are all so steeped in the emotional and socio-political quagmire of today. (Even though, let’s be real, some things have not really changed.)
I was especially reluctant to stick to “the way I’ve (always) done it,” because one of the elements to the way I use to lead the practice isn’t readily available. So, yesterday, I found myself looking for a something new, something special about today. Of course, there were a lot of things that caught my eye. However, thinking about the Cold War left me a little cold and, while I felt a little inspired by President Ronald Reagan’s 1964 “A Time for Choosing” speech (which aired today, as part of the “Rendezvous with Destiny” television special in support of the presidential nomination of Senator Barry Goldwater), that just opens a political can of worms.
Just to give you an idea of how my brain works: The title of Goldwater’s (Republican) TV special was inspired by a June 27, 1936 (Democratic) speech given in Philadelphia (which was founded today in 1682) by President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The fact that FDR’s (Republican) cousin, President Theodore Roosevelt, was born today (in Manhattan, New York City in 1858) opens a whole other (political and religious) can of worms. However, I did find it amusing that President TR, who won the 1906 Nobel Peace Prize and served in the United States military as well as serving as Vice President, got married on his 22nd birthday (today in 1880) – and therefore shared a “wedding” anniversary with Sonny and Cher (who had a ceremony in Tijuana, Mexico today in 1964).
“Though lovers be lost love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.”
– quoted from the poem “And death shall have no dominion” by Dylan Thomas
There’s more, but most of it is tragic. We can be horrified by what happened in Missouri today in 1838 or anger about the children killed in Syria just a year ago today, but I find there is too much heaviness in my heart already to devote a whole class to these tragedies. Don’t get me wrong, I have no intention of forgetting people who were killed for just being who they were – people like United States Navy radioman Allen R. Schindler, Jr. (who was murdered today in 1992 because he was gay) or the people of devotion who were killed and wounded during the 2018 shooting during morning services at the Tree of Life – Or L’Simcha Congregation. But, right now I feel an overwhelming need to keep focusing on the breath, and on breathing into the present moment.
The irony of all my mental gymnastics is that even when I focused on Thomas and Plath, today was always about the breath and breathing into what the heart needs in the present moment.
“I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am.”
or
“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart: I am, I am, I am.”
– quoted from two different editions of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Please join metoday (Tuesday, October 27th) at 12 Noon or 7:15 PM for a virtual yoga practice on Zoom, where we will do what we do. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
Tuesday’s Noon playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “07192020 Compassion & Peace (J’Accuse!)”]
The Tuesday evening playlist is also available on YouTube and Spotify.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible, class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
“You and I are told increasingly we have to choose between a left or right. Well I’d like to suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There’s only an up or down: [up] man’s old – old-aged dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order, or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism. And regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.”
– quoted from the 1964 “A Time for Choosing” speech by Ronald Reagan
CORRECTION: The wrong birth year was originally posted for Theodore Roosevelt. (rev. 10/28/2025)
– “Transparency and calmness of mind also comes by practicing [awareness of breath] that involves forceful exhalation and [natural] breath retention.”
“as you breathe in, breathe in through the whole body
as you breath out, breathe out the whole body
feel how the breath calms and heals the body
like a skilled potter watching clay turn on a wheel
notice how each inhalation turns into an exhalation
only to turn back again into an inhalation
over and over and over again”
– quoted from Breathing Through the Whole Body: The Buddha’s Instructions on Integrating Mind, Body, and Breath by Will Johnson
Take a deep breath in, through your nose. Open your mouth and sigh it out.
Deep breath in, through your nose; deep open mouth sigh.
Take the deepest breath you’ve taken all day, open your mouth and sigh it out.
Now, just breathe in through your nose… and out through your nose… and notice that you are breathing.
Some would say that this is the beginning of the practice – I’ve even said such a thing. However, before this awareness of breath there needs to be the ability to sit, stand, recline, and be still or move in a way that allows you to focus on the fact that you are sitting, standing, reclining, being still, and/or moving while breathing. This is something we may neglect to do all day on any given day – which means that all day, on any given day, we may be taking the shallowest and poorest breaths we’ve taken all day rather than the deepest and richest breaths we’ve taken all day. And the difference in our quality of breath translates into the difference in our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
Our autonomic nervous system is comprised our sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. We can (and often do) simplify our understanding of these parts by thinking of the sympathetic nervous system in terms of our fight/flight/freeze response and the parasympathetic system in terms of rest/digest/create. Even with that simplified view of things, we can see how the each part of our nervous system affects the breath and other systems of the body. While there are some extreme cases of human (mental and physical) fitness whereby someone can mentally control their heart rate, pupil dilation, digestion, excretion, and even arousal regardless of outside stimulation, most people have limited control over the elements of their body (and therefore the mind) which are regulated by the autonomic nervous system. On the flip side, almost everyone can control some aspect of their breath.
Even when using a breathing machine, we can bring awareness to and control the breath. This, very simply put, is the most basic form of prāņāyamā. Furthermore, as we observe the breath, the breath changes and brings awareness to our ability to control the breath. I am constantly pointing out that what happens in the body happens in the mind; what happens in the mind happens in the body; and both affect the breath – and, the breath affects what happens in the mind and in the body.
“Thus he lives contemplating the body in the body internally, or he lives contemplating the body in the body externally, or he lives contemplating the body in the body internally and externally. He lives contemplating origination factors in the body, or he lives contemplating dissolution factors in the body, or he lives contemplating origination-and-dissolution factors in the body. Or his mindfulness is established with the thought: ‘The body exists,’ to the extent necessary just for knowledge and mindfulness, and he lives detached, and clings to nothing in the world. Thus also, monks, a monk lives contemplating the body in the body.”
– quoted from Satipatthana Sutta (The Foundations of Mindfulness) translated by Nyanasatta Thera
I know, I know, someone is thinking, “Didn’t we do this whole breathing things yesterday?” Yes, indeed we did. We do it every day and in every practice; however, it is way too easy to take this part of the practice for granted. We may be in the middle of a challenging practice or a challenging day and find that we are holding our breath. We may be shallow breathing during a peak moment in our practice or in our lives. We may find that we have made certain things a higher priority than our breath – and then we suffer the consequences.
Think for a moment, about all the things you want in your life and all the things you need. Make sure you are clear about what is a desire versus what is a necessity. Now, slowly, start thinking about your life without some of the things you desire. If you are honest with yourself and clear-minded, you know you can live your whole life without those things you desire. You may even live a happy life without those things.
Notice how you feel about that.
Now, slowly, go through the list of things you need. How long can you live without some form of protection from the elements? (It depends on your environment, climate, and other external factors.) How long can you go without some form of food? (On average, a relatively healthy and well hydrated adult can survive up to two months without food – although extreme symptoms of starvation kick in about 30 days.) How long can you live without water? (A typical adult could survive about 100 hours, or 3 – 4 days without any kind of hydration; but, again, this can be time line is dependent on temperature.) How long can you go without sleep? (I don’t have a definitive answer for this one. While people have been recorded as going without sleep for almost 2 weeks, the nervous system will drop a person into “microsleep” states. Microsleep may only last a few seconds, but those few seconds keep the body functioning.) Finally, how long can you go without breathing? (Again, there are some variables, but if the average person holds their breath, their body is going to force them to breathe within 3 minutes. If external circumstances cut off breathing, irreversible brain damage occurs after 5 – 10 minutes – unless there are other variables, like temperature.)
Notice how you feel about that.
We may experience great suffering if we have to live without the things we desire. We will experience pain and suffering if we have to live (for a brief period) without the things we need. We cannot, however, live without breathing. It has to be a priority. Additionally, when we start thinking about quality of life, and how the quality of the things we want and need contribute to our overall quality of life, we may find that we have not made quality of breathing a priority. It’s not just about air quality; it’s about quality of breath. And, both the Buddha and teachers like Patanjali indicated that anyone can practice with their breath.
“Mindfulness of breathing takes the highest place among the various subjects of Buddhist meditation. It has been recommended and praised by the Enlightened One thus: ‘This concentration through mindfulness of breathing, when developed and practiced much, is both peaceful and sublime, it is an unadulterated blissful abiding, and it banishes at once and stills evil unprofitable thoughts as soon as they arise.’ Though of such a high order, the initial stages of this meditation are well within the reach of a beginner though he be only a lay student of the Buddha-Dhamma.”
– commentary on the Satipatthana Sutta (The Foundations of Mindfulness) by Nyanasatta Thera
Please join me on the virtual mat today (Monday, October 26th) at 5:30 PM for a 75-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom.
This is a 75-minute Common Ground Meditation Center practice that, in the spirit of generosity (dana), is freely given and freely received. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
“People always call it luck when you’ve acted more sensibly than they have.”
– Anne Tyler
Anne Tyler, born today in 1941, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, grew up in a way that was very different from the way most people reading this grew up. Her family was Quaker and she spent much of her childhood in intentional communities, where people raised their own food, created folk art, and sang traditional music. It wasn’t just the level of community that made life different, it was that every interaction – with herself, the environment, and the world – was different than it was when her family left commune-life. For instance, Anne Tyler was 11 years old before she used a telephone, went to public school, or regularly wore shoes.
Even though I also moved around a lot as a child, my life experiences were very, very different. Some differences could be easily attributed to race and education (one of the motivating factors behind our moves was that my father was earning his PhD), but then you have to explain some of the similarities – like our love of reading and writing, and our habit of observing people in order to tell their stories. If you take a moment to think about it, you too could categorize all many of ways in which you are also different from us…. But, then, what about the similarities.
“Missouri made an exasperated face. ‘You don’t know,’ she told her. ‘You don’t know how it would work out. Bravest thing about people, Miss Joan, is how they go on loving mortal beings after finding out there’s such a thing as dying. Do I have to tell you that?’”
.
– quoted from The Tin Can Tree by Anne Tyler
.
“‘Everything,’ his father said, ‘comes down to time in the end – to the passing of time, to changing. Ever thought of that? Anything that makes you happy or sad, isn’t it all based on minutes going by? Isn’t sadness wishing time back again? Even big things – even mourning a death: aren’t you really just wishing to have the time back when that person was alive? Or photos – ever notice old photographs? How wistful they make you feel? … Isn’t it just that time for once is stopped that makes you wistful? If only you could turn it back again, you think. If only you could change this or that, undo what you have done, if only you could roll the minutes the other way, for once.’”
.
– quoted from Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler
.
“You wouldn’t question your sanity, because you couldn’t bear to think it wasn’t real. And you certainly wouldn’t demand explanations, or alert anybody nearby, or reach out to touch this person, not even if you’d been feeling that one touch was worth giving up everything for. You would hold your breath. You would keep as still as possible. You would will your loved one not to go away again.”
.
– quoted from The Beginner’s Goodbye
As different as our circumstances, our appearances, and personalities – and therefore our lives may be – there are certain things we all have in common. We all live and die, love and are loved, experience great wins and great loss. We are also, to paraphrase First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, all in this together – even when we feel alone, isolated, and going through things we can’t imagine anyone else understanding. Yet, here we sit and stand and lie – here we are, struggling together and apart; finding our way together, even though we are apart.
Over the last few days, I spoke to some friends and we reflected on what how we’re getting through our current circumstances and constant changes versus how we were getting things in the middle of March… or the end of May and the beginning of July. Even with all of our differences and distances, we can all chart the highs and lows of what LG and S call the “coronacoaster.” I mentioned that at the beginning – or at what some might refer to as “the end of before” – I was firmly entrenched in the group of people who emotionally wanted bits of before, something familiar. By April, however, my body wanted (and needed) something a little different – but my mind wasn’t completely on board. So, I had to figure out how to compromise and navigate the conflict – just as if my body and mind were an old married couple (or new friends) suddenly finding themselves in lockdown together.
Then there were more changes, more challenges, more conflicts, and more compromises. And, through it all, I did the same thing you did – I kept breathing. What was helpful (and continues to be helpful), above and beyond everything else, was knowing how to breath and being surrounded by people who also were focused on knowing how to breathe. Breath, after all, is life. It’s not enough just to breathe, however, because how we breathe determines how we live.
“‘Breathing lessons – really,’ [Fiona] said, dropping to the floor with a thud. ‘Don’t they reckon I must know how to breathe by now?’”
.
– quoted from Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler
.
“‘Oh honey, you’re just lucky they offer such things,’ Maggie told her…. ‘I mean you’re given all these lessons for the unimportant things–piano-playing, typing. You’re given years and years of lessons in how to balance equations, which Lord knows you will never have to do in normal life. But how about parenthood? Or marriage, either, come to think of it. Before you can drive a car you need a state-approved course of instruction, but driving a car is nothing, nothing, compared to living day in and day out with a husband and raising up a new human being.’”
.
– quoted from Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler
There is a whole industry built around teaching people how to breathe when they are giving birth. Certain techniques not only lower stress, and therefore trauma, they can also help everyone in the room stay focused on that task at hand – keeping everyone healthy and whole. Funny thing is, proper breathing techniques in our day-to-day lives also lowers stress; decreases our trauma-sensitivity (which means we may have a better recovery experience, even when the initial trauma is significant); and helps us stay focused on the present moment. Research has shown improper breathing leads to physical and mental fatigue, high blood pressure, brain fog, increase stress levels, and (ironically) poor sleep. Some people eat more when they are stressed, others eat less – but, either way, poor breathing can disrupt digestion: the body’s ability to absorb nutrients and expel waste. All of this leads to poor health – something the ancient yogis, Buddhist, and contemplatives documented long ago.
Patanjali specifically states, in yoga sūtra 1.34 that clarity of the mind comes from focusing on the breath. So, take a moment, to notice your breath. If you are not breathing deeply in and breathing deeply out, consider what you need to relax the tension in your body in order to breathe more fully. I’ll give you a hint: start with your belly, your fingers, and your toes… as you breathe through your nose.
“She thought of how she had kept at Fiona, whom pregnancy had turned lackadaisical and vague, so that if it hadn’t been for Maggie she’d have spent her entire third trimester on the coach in front of the TV. Maggie would clap her hands briskly – ‘Okay!’ – and snap off the Love Boat rerun and fling open the curtains, letting sunshine flood the dim air of the living room and the turmoil of rock magazines and Fresca bottles. ‘Time for your pelvic squats!’ she would cry….”
.
– quoted from Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler
Please join me for a 65-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, October 25th) at 2:30 PM. I am in the process of updating the links from the “Class Schedules” calendar; however, the Meeting IDs in the calendar are the same and are correct. PLEASE NOTE: Zoom 5.0 is in effect. If you have not upgraded, you will need to give yourself extra time to log into Zoom. You can always request an audio recording of this practice (or any practice) via email or a comment below.
Today’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “07192020 Compassion & Peace (J’Accuse!)”]
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
You know how you step on the mat (or sit on the cushion), all the distractions drop away, and you realize you forgot to “turn off the kettle?” Well, that just happened to me. I forgot to include my favorite Jitterbug Perfume quote, which is perfect advice for yogis! I’ve updated the original post, but here it is for all the email subscribers:
“Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets.”
Like me, you may be reeling from the events of this past week, month, year, decade, lifetime. You might be hopeful about where we go next, cautiously optimistic, unusually pessimistic, or completely numb. You might be feeling a giant ball of emotion which sometimes spills out and sometimes just churns around in your stomach… until the next time it comes out. Or maybe you are safely, and blessedly, removed from it all.
For anyone slightly (or greatly) confused, let me break this down for you: I’m a Black woman from Houston, Texas who teaches yoga in the Twin Cities (Minnesota). This week, George Floyd, a Black man from Houston, Texas was killed here in Minneapolis. (For those of you who have read the last few months of posts, George Floyd grew up in the neighborhood where my grandfather had his bars and he was killed (Monday, May 25, 2020) on a corner where he and I quite possibly crossed paths (on Saturday, September 16, 2017). His death has sparked protest around the country, and some of those protests have turned violent. At least one additional person has died in the last few days during the protests. Millions and millions of dollars have been lost as local and big box businesses have burned to the ground and/or sustained damages that make it unlikely they will re-open. All of this is happening after a racially-charged death earlier this month (in the Saint Paul); after several years of racially-charged police-related deaths in the country; and during a global pandemic that has shut down much of the world over the last few months.
People are hurt, angry, confused, and fed up. People are also hurt, angry, confused, and scared. At least one international correspondent has said she has never seen anything like what’s going on here in all her years of covering protests and civil unrest all over the world. So, the question becomes, “Where do we go from here?”
As friends and family call and text to check on those of us that are here – and as we call and text to check on each – I have struggled with what to say to my students. We are largely impacted in very different ways because of our very different circumstances and backgrounds. However, because this is not our (the USA’s) first racially-charged rodeo, we have to face up to the fact that amidst all the possible aftermaths there are two very real probable outcomes:
(a) nothing-to-very little changes on a systematic level, or
(b) everything (or almost) everything changes.
For the latter to be even a remote possibility we have to heal and move forward together – something that may seem impossible when we are so far apart.
So, back to a variation of that first question: Where do we begin?
First, keep breathing. Like Eric Garner, who was killed in New York in July of 2014, one of the last things George Floyd was able to say was, “I can’t breathe.” Breathing is connected to our autonomic nervous system; it is something that happens to us, and also something we can engage or control. Situations that activate our sympathetic nervous system (making us want to fight, flee, freeze, or collapse) also create a breathe pattern that is not sustainable over long periods of time. Unfortunately, we are living in a time where are sympathetic nervous system is constantly activated – sometimes to the point of being over stimulated – and we develop a habit of bad breathing. Don’t take this next breath for granted. Never take your breath, which is a symbol of your life, for granted. Take the deepest breath you’ve taken all day, every day. Then follow it with another… and another. Make it a habit, a practice, to very deliberately and intentionally breathe. Do it for yourself and those you love. Do it, also, in honor of those who “can’t breathe.”
Second, pay attention to your heart.As I prepare to post this, the officer primarily associated with George Floyd’s death has been charged with third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter. (This could change, but I’m not betting on it.) My understanding is that in the State of Minnesota “third-degree murder” is associated with the term “depraved-heart murder;” that is to say, a murder committed by someone who acts with “depraved indifference to human life.” You can easily find more details on the legal points if you so desire. I, however, suggest considering that concept of a depraved heart.”
The word depraved comes to us from the Latin (roots meaning “down thoroughly” and “crooked, perverse”) by way of Old French and late Middle English. The late Middle English definition is to “pervert the meaning or intention of something.” So, while the modern usage of the word “depraved” is (linguistically) used to indicate something or someone is “morally corrupt or wicked,” the original idea of the word in this context is that this was a murder which perverted the intention of the heart.
Let that sink in for a moment. Now, consider the purpose of your heart. Energetically, even emotionally speaking, our heart(s) are connections and connectors. They are also a symbol of our lives. The operation of the physical heart is autonomic, but it is connected to the way in which we breathe. So, as you spend some time taking that deep breath in, and that deep breath out, focus on your heart. Notice how it feels and notice what it needs to stay connected.
Finally, listen.Below are links to “A Place to Start” playlist. If you click on the first video, it will take you through the others. Or, you could just click randomly on the videos. At some point I may add to this playlist. Listen. Notice how your heart reacts to what you see and hear. Breathe – and do it all over again.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. ”
– Maya Angelou
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.”
– Jim Rohn
Knowing that change is constant doesn’t always make it easier to accept. Change is especially hard when you don’t feel ready for it and/or it is thrust upon you unexpectedly. And sometimes the worst part about the latter kind of change is the scary feeling which comes from not knowing what comes next.
I’ve been there. I get it. On a certain level, we’ve all been there. But, even if you lose your job, lose a loved one, or lose both in close proximity, don’t lose hope.
Easier said than done (that not losing hope thing) – especially when we define hope as “feeling expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, what happens if we let go of our attachment to things being a certain way and looking a certain way? What happens if we have the old fashioned kind of hope?
Trust is implied in the modern definition of hope, and it is also an archaic definition of hope.
Again, I get it: It is hard to know what or who to trust when the rug has been pulled out from under you. So, start with what is inside of you. Trust that if you can take a deep breath in, you can take a deeper breath out. Have faith that if you take that deeper breath out, and follow it with a deeper breath in, you can look forward to that even deeper breath out. Keep going and feelings of hopelessness will (slowly, but surely) dissipate.
This is not a quick fix or a miracle cure. Neither is it a medical treatment. It’s a practice. Interested in taking the practice deeper? Close your eyes and imagine your breath as light – moving down your spine as you inhale, back up your spine as you exhale. Want to kick it up another notch? Focus on your breath while listening to one of the following mantras (see first links for translations) focused on removing obstacles and darkness:
A Joyful Practice 