[a prologue for] the Birthday of Poets June 7, 2021
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Uncategorized.Tags: asana, Gwendolyn Brooks, insight, inspiration, Life, Loss, Louise Erdrich, Love, Nikki Giovanni, Poetry, Prince Rogers Nelson, protests, trauma, truth, yoga
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[Originally posted June 7, 2020, the poem below references (and links to) the works of poets – or my practice posts about the poets – who were born today in 1919, 1943, 1954, and 1958. You can request an audio recording of Monday’s practice or last year’s June 7th practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes. If you are using an Apple device/browser and the calendar is no longer loading, please email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com at least 20 minutes before the practice you would like to attend.]
Today I bring you poetry. True
It is no longer poetry month / but
It is the birthday of poets – and so,
I bring you their words, their lyrics, their music.
I bring you their movement, and
their Movements.
I bring you POC [Poets of Color],
NOT because of what’s happening…
BUT because…
That is what I’ve always done, while you pose… {Did you not notice?}
AND
Today is the birthday of poets.
Nikki dared you to listen to “The Song of the Feet” (and apply
Hear The Painted Drum (Louise, please…more:)
Gwendolyn wrote “about what I saw and heard in the street,”
and asked us what we would do “with all this life.” Then she warned us…
“that we are each other’s
harvest:
we are each other’s
business:
we are each other’s
magnitude and bond.”
Looks like we failed to listen, even
To the royal “Condition of the Heart”
Now, birds cry in the snow and the rain,
“I think I know a better way y’all.”
And I ask,
are you “Willing and Able”
“America”? “Around the World…”?
Anybody?
– whisper, shout, scream, or –
will we continue to be “like a child lost in the wilderness [?]”
If we live, we [still only] have two choices:
“[we’ll] either learn or we won’t;”
“growing up or decaying.”
(One requires love & listening “to [y]our own Black heart[s].”)
Of course…
those were our choices all along.
©MKR 2020
There is no playlist for the Common Ground practice. Last year’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Interlude music is different between the playlists. YouTube is the original.)
### DON’T WASTE ANY SWEETNESS ###
Here Be The Wild Things June 10, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Uncategorized.Tags: addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, Anne Smith, asana, Bill Wilson, disability, Dr. Bob Smith, Eugene Glenn, G. Alan Marlatt, Holocaust, In the Night Kitchen, Loss, Maurice Sendak, Mindfulness, Outside Over There, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, recovery, Richard Gottlieb, Stanton Peele, survivors, trauma, Where The Wild Things Are, yoga practice
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“And so we have…this critical problem as human beings of seeing to it that the mythology—the constellation of sign signals, affect images, energy-releasing and -directing signs—that we are communicating to our young will deliver directive messages qualified to relate them richly and vitally to the environment that is to be theirs for life, and not to some period of man already past, some piously desiderated future, or—what is worst of all—some querulous, freakish sect or momentary fad. And I call this problem critical because, when it is badly resolved, the result for the miseducated individual is what is known, in mythological terms, as a Waste Land situation. The world does not talk to him; he does not talk to the world. When that is the case, there is a cut-off, the individual is thrown back on himself, and he is in prime shape for that psychotic break-away that will turn him into either an essential schizophrenic in a padded cell, or a paranoid screaming slogans at large, in a bughouse without walls.”
– from A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living by Joseph Campbell
How do we keep from becoming, to paraphrase Joseph Campbell, a screaming paranoid person? How do we face trauma, loss, and disability with a smile on our face, as Wayman Tisdale did? Maybe we have to go all the way back to the womb to figure out why some people survive the challenging circumstances they face in life. Maybe we have to go back even farther than that to see why some people just inherently know how to stay connected to their “inside stuff” even when life throws them one curve ball after another fast ball. Whatever the reason some people rebound and some people don’t (or don’t as easily as others), trying to figure out that reason has fascinated people since the beginning of time.
Children’s book author and illustrator Maurice Sendak, born today in 1928, in Brooklyn, New York, once said, “I only have one subject. The question I am obsessed with is: How do children survive?” Like the poets mentioned during Sunday’s class (06/07/2020), Sendak wrote about what he saw – and what he saw was a family decimated by the Holocaust and trying to acclimate to a new country and a new culture. He saw kids being kids, being alive and full of so much life despite the overwhelming and pervasive feeling of perpetual mourning. The adults called the unruly children “vilde chaya,” which is Yiddish for “wild animal.” Sendak turned it into “wild things” and wrote a children’s book that become the center of a trilogy about (you guessed it) how children survive and thrive.
“I grew up in a house that was in a constant state of mourning.”
– Maurice Sendak in a 2002 interview with children’s book historian Leonard Marcus
“’And now,’ cried Max, ‘let the wild rumpus start!’”
– from Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
Where The Wild Things Are, published in 1963, tells the story of preschool-age Max who, as adults would have said during my childhood, gets a little too big for his britches. He is sent to his room without his dinner because he can’t behave and, as children do, he lets his imagination take over. His bedroom becomes a magical land full of wild animals, beasts, monsters….
My amazing friend Julie K just sent me a recent essay in The New Yorker about metaphorical monsters. I found it problematic because the identity of the monsters is too vague. Sendak, however, was always very clear; the monsters in his first book were the perpetually mourning and stern adults in his family. He just exaggerated them into something endearingly grotesque. As Max manages his emotions, becoming “king of all wild things” (a. k. a. the “most wild thing of all”), he finds his way back to the regular world. Managing one’s emotions, it turns out, is the secret to making one’s way back to the regular world.
“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again. You really don’t have a sacred space, a rescue land, until you find somewhere to be that’s not a wasteland, some field of action where there is a spring of ambrosia—a joy that comes from inside, not something external that puts joy into you—a place that lets you experience your own will and your own intention and your own wish so that, in small, the Kingdom is there. I think everybody, whether they know it or not, is in need of such a place.”
– from A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living by Joseph Campbell
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen.”
– from Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
As I mentioned before, Where The Wild Things Are was the first of a three-part series to be published, but it is actually the centerpiece to the trilogy. In The Night Kitchen (published in 1970) follows toddler-age Mickey as he falls, naked, into the Night Kitchen, where he has to avoid getting baked into the cake batter and eaten up. Max, again, is preschool-age. Outside Over There (published in 1981) features pre-adolescent Ida, who shirks her responsibility and then has to face the consequences of making things right. It is interesting to note that while there is always a symbol of a mother and evidence of a mother’s love in all three books, Ida is the only real-live human girl featured prominently in the books and she is given (in the book) the mother’s role of caregiver – a role she initially fails to take seriously.
“When Papa was away at sea and Mama in the arbor, Ida played her wonder horn to rock the baby still – but never watched.”
– from Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak
Maurice Sendak’s trilogy is recognized as a series which traces the psychological development of children. Each protagonist has age appropriate responsibilities, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Each protagonist also has to navigate and find balance between the (age appropriate) expectations of the simultaneously present yet absent parent(s) and their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. One of the emotions that figures prominently, especially in Where The Wild Things Are, is rage and one of the themes that figures prominently in the books is how to manage emotions like rage. Because, as I sated before, managing one’s emotions is the secret to making one’s way back to the regular world. It is the boon, as it were, of this particular hero’s journey/cycle.
“But it is more than mere survival that Sendak aspires to, for his children and for himself. He asks the question of resilience: How do children surmount and transform in order to prosper and create? It is tempting to imagine that Sendak conceives of the trajectory of his own life and art as a model for the way he has handled these questions in his works.”
– from a 2009 The Psychologist article by psychoanalyst Richard Gottlieb
When Where The Wild Things Are was turned into a movie, therapists like Richard Gottlieb offered their clinical take on the book and the movie. Psychoanalyst and attorney Stanton Peele noted in a 2009 article for Psychology Today that Dr. G. Alan Marlatt, a psychologist who focused on addiction, “specifically developed mindfulness as a relapse prevention technique, one that assists addicted people to combat cravings. In brief, a user may imagine the urge to use again as a physical challenge – like a wave – that he or she rides out.” Then, Peele called Sendak’s work “a model of mindfulness.” For his part, Gottlieb did not think it was an accident that Sendaks’ work was so psychologically applicable. In fact, he specifically highlights various “psychological proddings and teachings” which influenced Sendak’s life – including the fact that his partner (for over 50 years) was psychoanalyst Eugene Glenn – and shares bits of conversations with colleagues who also see the value in the book.
“I’m not the milk and the milk’s not me. I’m Mickey!”
– Mickey in In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
Call it a coincidence, a coinkydink, God winking, or serendipity, but it is interesting to note that Maurice Sendak, whose seminal book has been hailed and praised by addiction experts, was born on the anniversary of Dr. Bob Smith’s last drink, which is also the anniversary of Alcoholics Anonymous. Today in 1935, Bill Wilson and Smith’s wife Anne gave a severely hung-over Smith (a. k. a. “Dr. Bob”) a beer so that he would be “steady enough” to go into surgery. Hours beyond when the surgery should have ended, Smith announced that yes, the surgery was successful and that he had spent the remaining time reaching out to creditors and others he had hurt when he was drinking. Founded by Smith and Wilson, with support from Smith’s wife Anne, Alcoholics Anonymous is a 12-step rehabilitation program that has helped some people cope with alcoholism. It is also the model for other 12-step programs. While I have not counted the steps as they apply to Maurice Sendak’s work, there are very definite parallels in the way the main characters acknowledge their problems, turn inward, and offer restitution and express remorse. There are also, in the books and in recovery, humongous amounts of love and forgiveness (in particular, self-love and self-forgiveness).
“Quiet down there!”
– Mickey In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
“If Ida backwards in the rain would only turn around again and catch those goblins with a tune, she’d spoil their kidnap honeymoon!”
– Papa’s song in Outside Over There
Please join me today (Wednesday, June 10th) at 4:30 PM or 7:15 PM for a practice inspired by the inner workings of a child’s heart and mind. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You will need to register for the 7:15 PM class if you have not already done so. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
Since music soothes the wild beasts, the goblins, and the cooks, Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (NOTE: YouTube is the original playlist and includes the video below.)
My all time favorite rendition!
### “I’LL EAT YOU UP!”• “I LOVE YOU!” ###
Not So De-Lovely Circumstance(s)? June 9, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Uncategorized.Tags: accident, amputation, Arthur Thompson, cancer, Changing Perspectives, Cole Porter, disability, Dolphin Davis, jazz, Loss, Matthew Sanford, Mind Body Solutions, music, Noel Coward, trauma, Wayman Tisdale, yoga philosophy, yoga practice
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“You can never give up because quitting is not an option. No matter how dark it is or how weak you get, until you take that last breath, you must fight.”
– Wayman Tisdale, professional musician and basketball player
“Sad times, may follow your tracks
Bad times, may bar you from Sak’s
At times, when Satan in slacks
Breaks down your self control
Maybe, as often it goes
Your Abe-y, may tire of his rose
So baby, this rule I propose
Always have an ace in the hole.”
– from “Ace in the Hole” by Cole Porter
Here’s a question: Have you ever experienced trauma, loss, and disability? We all have, on some level, and we all will before we leave this earth.
So, here’s a better question: Have you ever experienced trauma, loss, and disability that changed the way you viewed yourself and the world? Many who would have answered “no” to that question a month or two ago (or even a year ago), might answer “yes” now.
I specifically mention two months ago, rather than two weeks ago, because two months ago I was participating in the seventh annual Kiss My Asana yogathon, which benefited Mind Body Solutions. Known for their adaptive yoga program, which includes teacher training, and training for care givers Mind Body Solutions “helps those who have experienced trauma, loss, and disability find new ways to live by integrating both mind and body.” Founding teacher Matthew Sanford is constantly reminding us that at some point we are all going to experience trauma, loss, and disability. Even if we do not become physically disabled, we can experience trauma and loss that disables us and makes it impossible to do things the way we did them before. The practice of yoga, especially as it is applied by the teachers at MBS, is both simple and complex – because the way we deal with trauma, loss, and disability is simultaneously simple and complex… because humans are both simple and complex. Ultimately, it’s not the if/when/how we experience the trauma, loss, and disability that’s important. Ultimately, what’s important is how we deal with it.
“I am only half a man now.”
– Cole Porter to his friends in 1958
“Cancer might’ve taken my leg, but it can’t take my smile.”
– Wayman Tisdale in an ESPN interview released in 2008, five months before he died (The reporter noted that he followed the words with “that famous, ear-splitting grin.”)
Depending on how you look at them, Cole Porter (who was born today in 1891, in Peru, Indiana) and Wayman Tisdale (who was born today in 1964, in Fort Worth, Texas) don’t have a lot in common. Except for the whole birthday thing… and the fact that they were both professional musicians whose parents started their musical training at early ages. (Porter’s mother started him on violin lessons at 6 and piano lessons at 8. Tisdale’s father bought him his first bass guitar at age 8.) Tisdale said music was his “first love” and, undoubtedly, Porter would have shared the sentiment. They both ended up being known for jazz – although slightly different kinds of jazz. Oh, then there is the fact that they both engaged in highly physical activities (outside of music); Porter as an equestrian, Tisdale as a professional basketball player who was inducted into the College Basketball Hall of Fame (2009), the Oklahoma Hall of Fame (2009), and played in both the Olympics (1984) and Pan American (1983) Games. Both men were extremely well-liked and remarked upon because of their sunny dispositions.
Oh, and they were both (right leg) amputees.
Weird coincidence, huh? But, that’s not really the point today. The point today is how they dealt with their trauma, loss, and disability.
“The doctor had never given anyone chemo that was my size. They just calculated how much chemo to give me and said, ‘We hope it doesn’t mess up your kidneys. If it does, sorry.’”
– Wayman Tisdale in an ESPN interview released in 2008, five months before his death
In 1937, a horseback riding accident resulted in the horse crushing both of Cole Porter’s legs. In 2007, Wayman Tisdale fell down a flight of stairs and broke his leg – an accident that revealed he had osteosarcoma in his knee. Both men were bound and determined to live, despite their situations – which involved immense amounts of pain and uncertainty. By all accounts, including his own words, Wayman Tisdale accepted the amputation and focused on using the support around him to help him heal and move forward. He even appreciated the attitude of one of his master teachers/precious jewels, who he didn’t think wanted him to get better, stating in a 2008 ESPN interview, “At the time, I frowned on that. I look at it today that had I not persevered through a lot of the stuff [USA Team coach Bobby Knight] put me through, I probably wouldn’t be here today. I thank God for that dude because he pushed me.” Cole Porter, on the other hand, seems to have given up. He fought the amputation until he was given no other choice and, while he wrote an immense amount of music after the accident that ultimately cost him his leg, he wrote (so far as we know) not a lick after the amputation.
“The lines of ceaseless pain have been wiped from his face…I am convinced that his whole life will cheer up and that his work will profit accordingly.”
– Noel Coward writing in his diary about his friend Cole Porter, after Porter’s leg was amputated in 1958
“But when we first talked on the phone, he [Wayman] made me feel better. Ninety-five percent of us would’ve gone into a deep depression, but he didn’t.”
– Arthur Thompson, drummer and friend of Wayman Tisdale, in a 2008 ESPN interview, after Tisdale’s diagnosis and amputation
Please join me today (Tuesday, June 9th) at 12 Noon or 7:15 PM for a virtual yoga practice on Zoom, where you can check in with your attitude. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Links will be available on Zoom and I have updated this page, with links, shortly before the Noon class. NOTE: Spotify users may have 2 Eartha Kitt songs. Enjoy.)
“For a man who lives by schedules to not know the next day because of being so fatigued, that puts things in perspective.”
– Dolphin Davis, Sr., Wayman Tisdale’s friend and personal trainer
### ??? ###
Today is the Birthday of Poets June 7, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Uncategorized.Tags: asana, Gwendolyn Brooks, insight, inspiration, Life, Loss, Louise Erdrich, Love, Nikki Giovanni, Poetry, Prince Rogers Nelson, protests, trauma, truth, yoga
4 comments
Today I bring you poetry. True
It is no longer poetry month / but
It is the birthday of poets – and so,
I bring you their words, their lyrics, their music.
I bring you their movement, and
their Movements.
I bring you POC [Poets of Color],
NOT because of what’s happening…
BUT because…
That is what I’ve always done, while you pose… {Did you not notice?}
AND
Today is the birthday of poets.
Nikki dared you to listen to “The Song of the Feet” (and apply
Hear The Painted Drum (Louise, please…more:)
Gwendolyn wrote “about what I saw and heard in the street,”
and asked us what we would do “with all this life.” Then she warned us…
“that we are each other’s
harvest:
we are each other’s
business:
we are each other’s
magnitude and bond.”
Looks like we failed to listen, even
To the royal “Condition of the Heart”
Now, birds cry in the snow and the rain,
“I think I know a better way y’all.”
And I ask,
are you “Willing and Able”
“America”? “Around the World…”?
Anybody?
– whisper, shout, scream, or –
will we continue to be “like a child lost in the wilderness [?]”
If we live, we [still only] have two choices:
“[we’ll] either learn or we won’t;”
“growing up or decaying.”
(One requires love & listening “to [y]our own Black heart[s].”)
Of course…
those were our choices all along.
©MKR 2020
Please join me for a 65-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, June 7th) at 2:30 PM. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. PLEASE NOTE: Zoom 5.0 has gone into effect yesterday. If you have not upgraded, you will need to give yourself extra time to log into Zoom. You can always request an audio recording of this practice (or any practice) via email or a comment below.
Today’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Interlude music is different between the playlists. YouTube is the original.)
### DON’T WASTE ANY SWEETNESS ###
A Place to Start… May 30, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Uncategorized.Tags: Black Lives Matter, Eric Garner, George Floyd, heart, Keedron Bryant, pranayama, trauma, truth, Tyler Merritt, union, yoga
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NOTE: This post has been updated (and upgraded) as a page.
Where to begin?
Like me, you may be reeling from the events of this past week, month, year, decade, lifetime. You might be hopeful about where we go next, cautiously optimistic, unusually pessimistic, or completely numb. You might be feeling a giant ball of emotion which sometimes spills out and sometimes just churns around in your stomach… until the next time it comes out. Or maybe you are safely, and blessedly, removed from it all.
For anyone slightly (or greatly) confused, let me break this down for you: I’m a Black woman from Houston, Texas who teaches yoga in the Twin Cities (Minnesota). This week, George Floyd, a Black man from Houston, Texas was killed here in Minneapolis. (For those of you who have read the last few months of posts, George Floyd grew up in the neighborhood where my grandfather had his bars and he was killed (Monday, May 25, 2020) on a corner where he and I quite possibly crossed paths (on Saturday, September 16, 2017). His death has sparked protest around the country, and some of those protests have turned violent. At least one additional person has died in the last few days during the protests. Millions and millions of dollars have been lost as local and big box businesses have burned to the ground and/or sustained damages that make it unlikely they will re-open. All of this is happening after a racially-charged death earlier this month (in the Saint Paul); after several years of racially-charged police-related deaths in the country; and during a global pandemic that has shut down much of the world over the last few months.
People are hurt, angry, confused, and fed up. People are also hurt, angry, confused, and scared. At least one international correspondent has said she has never seen anything like what’s going on here in all her years of covering protests and civil unrest all over the world. So, the question becomes, “Where do we go from here?”
As friends and family call and text to check on those of us that are here – and as we call and text to check on each – I have struggled with what to say to my students. We are largely impacted in very different ways because of our very different circumstances and backgrounds. However, because this is not our (the USA’s) first racially-charged rodeo, we have to face up to the fact that amidst all the possible aftermaths there are two very real probable outcomes:
(a) nothing-to-very little changes on a systematic level, or
(b) everything (or almost) everything changes.
For the latter to be even a remote possibility we have to heal and move forward together – something that may seem impossible when we are so far apart.
So, back to a variation of that first question: Where do we begin?
First, keep breathing. Like Eric Garner, who was killed in New York in July of 2014, one of the last things George Floyd was able to say was, “I can’t breathe.” Breathing is connected to our autonomic nervous system; it is something that happens to us, and also something we can engage or control. Situations that activate our sympathetic nervous system (making us want to fight, flee, freeze, or collapse) also create a breathe pattern that is not sustainable over long periods of time. Unfortunately, we are living in a time where are sympathetic nervous system is constantly activated – sometimes to the point of being over stimulated – and we develop a habit of bad breathing. Don’t take this next breath for granted. Never take your breath, which is a symbol of your life, for granted. Take the deepest breath you’ve taken all day, every day. Then follow it with another… and another. Make it a habit, a practice, to very deliberately and intentionally breathe. Do it for yourself and those you love. Do it, also, in honor of those who “can’t breathe.”
Second, pay attention to your heart. As I prepare to post this, the officer primarily associated with George Floyd’s death has been charged with third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter. (This could change, but I’m not betting on it.) My understanding is that in the State of Minnesota “third-degree murder” is associated with the term “depraved-heart murder;” that is to say, a murder committed by someone who acts with “depraved indifference to human life.” You can easily find more details on the legal points if you so desire. I, however, suggest considering that concept of a depraved heart.”
The word depraved comes to us from the Latin (roots meaning “down thoroughly” and “crooked, perverse”) by way of Old French and late Middle English. The late Middle English definition is to “pervert the meaning or intention of something.” So, while the modern usage of the word “depraved” is (linguistically) used to indicate something or someone is “morally corrupt or wicked,” the original idea of the word in this context is that this was a murder which perverted the intention of the heart.
Let that sink in for a moment. Now, consider the purpose of your heart. Energetically, even emotionally speaking, our heart(s) are connections and connectors. They are also a symbol of our lives. The operation of the physical heart is autonomic, but it is connected to the way in which we breathe. So, as you spend some time taking that deep breath in, and that deep breath out, focus on your heart. Notice how it feels and notice what it needs to stay connected.
Finally, listen. Below are links to “A Place to Start” playlist. If you click on the first video, it will take you through the others. Or, you could just click randomly on the videos. At some point I may add to this playlist. Listen. Notice how your heart reacts to what you see and hear. Breathe – and do it all over again.
A young man sings from his heart.
Could be my brother…except for that one part.
A question and an answer, maybe.
A song I dreamed of us all singing and then woke up to two angels singing it.
{Sorry Twin, I thought it would be less words.}
### STAY SAFE, BE WELL ###
STILL CLIMBIN’ – 2018 Kiss My Asana Offering #10 April 10, 2018
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in 31-Day Challenge, Abhyasa, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Dharma, Donate, Faith, Fitness, Gratitude, Healing Stories, Hope, Karma Yoga, Langston Hughes, Life, Loss, Mantra, Meditation, Men, Minneapolis, Minnesota, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Suffering, Surya Namaskar, Texas, Tragedy, Twin Cities, Vairagya, Volunteer, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.Tags: Army, Crystal Stair, inspiration, KISS MY ASANA, Langston Hughes, M. Scott Peck, Matthew Sanford, Month of the Military Child, Navy Seals, recovery, Ryan Holiday, SERE, Team 6, trauma
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Don’t you set down on the steps
’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now—
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
– from Mother to Son by Langston Hughes
“The only easy day was yesterday.”
– from Navy Seals
My early yoga teachers often said, “How you do yoga is how you do life.” I sometimes repeat this statement to myself and to people who come to my class, because I find it’s true. We humans only have so many reactions and responses. Our reactions on the mat are pretty consistent with our reactions off the mat, whether we are dealing with things we enjoy, things we dislike, things that challenge us, things we do well, things we fear, and/or things we don’t understand. (Substitute the word “people” for the word “things” and you see how we end up with some of our current problems.)
We delay gratification or we rush in to quickly experience the things we enjoy. We procrastinate or we push through that which we do not enjoy. We appreciate what we have or we focus on what we don’t have.
When something blocks our progression, we stop and turn back – or, as Marcus Aurelius encouraged, we pause and figure out a way to keep going. When we fall down, we either pick ourselves up – rising above the challenge – or we fall down and stay down. We either, as Thomas Edison did when his warehouse caught fire, learn from past mistakes and enjoy the unexpected – even when it seems catastrophic – or we curl up in a fetal position and watch the world go by. We pick up the pieces and re-build (again, like Edison) or we sweep the debris under the rug and step over the bulge, pretending it’s not there.
We are capable of putting blame behind us and focusing on what is, but (more often than not) blame occupies our minds when something goes wrong. We blame ourselves, we blame others, and/or we blame God and the fates. We live in the past (which is no longer), the future (which is not yet), or we live the present to its fullest.
The details change, but the overall responses are the same: We fight, we flee, or we freeze/collapse. Note that in this case, fighting is not always arguing or coming to fisticuffs; fighting is engaging, which in life can sometimes bring us to a compromise. This all happens in the present moment and, if we experience trauma, we can experience it in the present even after the original situation is in the past.
Benjamin Franklin said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” In life, as in yoga, there are challenges. Some challenges are expected and we mindfully prepare for them. On the flip side, some challenges are expected, but we don’t prepare for them. Finally, there are those challenges we didn’t see coming. When life (or a yoga teacher) throws us a curve ball, we swing or we don’t. In this analogy, it’s not whether or not we hit the ball that matters. What matters is that we are prepared to swing.
This brings us back to Marcus Aurelius, Thomas Edison, and those Navy Seals.
Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph, highlights successful people at their most resilient moments. One of the things that stood out to me when I read Holiday’s book, was that many of the people he referenced spent their whole lives preparing for what became a defining moment. It wasn’t that they anticipated the challenge; instead, they lived life to the fullest and it turned out the causes and conditions that caused them to “fall down” also gave them the tools to get back up.
Consider the Navy Seals. An elite combat unit, the Seals only accepts the best of the best. To determine who makes the cut, qualified applicants must successfully complete one of the hardest and toughest 10-day training programs in the world. Because there is no telling what a Navy Seal might encounter in real life, the training is a way to practice scenarios which test their mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual endurance. They are taught to Survive, Evade, Resist, and Escape if confronted with capture. The skills tests become more challenging in and of themselves, but they also become more challenging because applicants are moving closer and closer to their personal edge. Each second, each minute, each hour, each day creates an opportunity for growth. Seals get better, so that the challenges of yesterday seem easier once mastered. Ultimately, though, basic training pushes Navy Seals to engage, escape, evade – or get the heck out of the way for someone who is willing to swing when the curve ball is thrown.
“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”
– from The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth by M. Scott Peck
Life, for some, is like basic training in that it can be dangerous, full of pitfalls, and something that must be survived. But, for all of us, life is full of the causes and conditions that result in people to falling down and also full of the tools that help people get back up.
Yoga isn’t intended to be as hard (or as dangerous) as life or basic training. However, the yoga mat is a safe place to notice how you engage challenges, setbacks, and desires. It’s a safe place to explore different ways of being in the world. Every moment, every breath, every pose, every sequence prepares us for the next moment, the next breath, the next pose, and the next sequence. Sometimes we are very aware of how things are put together “in a special way.” Sometimes we are full engaged in the moment and are surprised when we meet a challenge with grace, wisdom, courage, and strength. Other times, we fall flat. Either way, the process starts all over again every time we inhale, every time we exhale.
MOTHER TO SON – by Langston Hughes
Very deliberately, move into Child’s Pose (Balasana). Notice the extension of the spine. Notice the softness of the belly. Notice the deep breath in and the deeper breath out. Allow your breath to move through the spine. Allow your soft belly to rise and fall with the breath. Allow your mind to follow the breath and the body’s reaction the breath. Start to engage your locks (bandhas) on the exhale: spread the toes and press the feet down (in this case tops of the feet down) for the Foot Lock (Pada Bandha); squeeze the perineum muscles together, lifting the pelvic floor for the Root Lock (Mula Bandha) – which engages your lower abdominal cavity; belly button up and back for abdominal core lock (Uddiyana Bandha) – which engages your upper abdominal cavity; draw the chin towards the throat and chest, lengthening the neck, for the Throat Lock (Jalandhara Bandha).
Once you’ve engaged your mind-body-spirit, move into Table Top: stack shoulders over elbows, elbows over wrists, hips over knees. Press down to lift up, activating the arms, the legs, and the lower three (3) locks. Notice the length of the spine, and how you support it. Move through Cat/Cow or the “Un-Cat” sequence precisely matching the movement to the breath. Move from your core so that the gaze is the last thing to come up and the last thing to turn down.
Find the place where your movements are strong, but not forced, and then curl your toes under and exhale into Downward Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana). Double check your engagement of the pose. Make sure all your fingers are spread wide, with the majority of the weight/pressure in your hands moving into the thumb and first finger. (So that, there is less weight/pressure applied to your outer wrists.) When you relax your head and shoulders, make sure your big toes are parallel to each other and at least a foot apart. Big toes can be behind the thumbs or behind the middle fingers. Hips are high, heels are low (reaching, but not necessarily touching the mat); and neck is long. Even if you have to bend your knees, find Cow Pose in this position (so that you have a straight line from your middle fingers all the way up to your hips and then a second straight line from your hips to the back of your knees). Eyes are on your nose, your belly button, or the space between your toes. Engage your locks (bandhas) as you are able. Notice the length of the spine and how you support it.
Remember your can skip the arm balancing, by moving into Staff Pose (Dandasana) and positioning the arms accordingly or using “Dolphin Dog.” Another modification would be to do the pose on the wall. Either way, strongly engage your legs and your core.
Stretch back (meaning, push your spine towards your thighs) and on an exhale walk your hands to your feet or bring your hands and feet together. Once hands are in line with the toes and heels are flat to the mat, inhale to a Half Lift/Flat Back or Extended Forward Bend. (This pose may be called Ardha Uttanasana or Urdhva Uttanasana.) Place your hands on your thighs and press the shoulders into the metaphorical back pockets. Remember, you want to engage in a similar fashion to Cow Pose, Staff Pose, and Downward Facing Dog. In fact, inhale and find a little bit of Cow Pose (even if you have to bend your knees). Now, press the heels down and – as much as you are able without losing the extension of the spine – engage the quadriceps to extend through the knees and press the thigh bones into the wall behind you. Engage your locks (bandhas) as you are able.
If you have unregulated blood pressure, low back issues, eye issues like glaucoma, or if this is already challenging, remember to stay here with knees bent. Otherwise, if it is not contraindicated, bend the knees and flex from the hips to prep Forward Bend (Uttanasana). Keeping the upper back extended, place the hands on the floor or a block and begin to extend through the legs while pressing the thigh bones into the backs of your legs. Do not force the extension. Use the exhales to settle the heart on the thighs (as much as you are able without losing the extension of the spine.) If your legs are completely straight, make sure the knee caps are lifted and that you are not hyper-extending the knees. Also double check to ensure that if the knees are straight the hips are over the knees, not behind the ankles. Remember to engage your locks (bandhas). Notice the length of the spine. Soften into yourself and into the stillness of the moment.
Inhale to Half Lift / Flat Back and use the exhale to engage your core. With hands on the hips, maintain the length of the spine and lift up to standing. Relax your arms by your sides. Balance the weight between all four corners of both feet. Feel free to move side-to-side or back and forth on the feet until you feel you are centered. Spread the toes, press big toes and little toes down, as well as both sides of the heels. (This establishes “all four corners of both feet.”) Engage the quadriceps in order to lift the knee caps and firm up the thighs. Sit bones point down so that the pelvic bones lift up. Engage your locks (bandhas). As you press down in order to lift the sternum up, use the core abdominal to draw the lower rib cage down. Relax the shoulders and gaze straight ahead. This is Equal Standing / Mountain Pose (Samasthiti/Tadasana). Notice the length of your spine.
Changing as little as possible, stretch the arms out like the letter T. Once your arms are wide, extend out of the center of your chest. Make sure shoulders, lower rib cage, and sits bones are reaching down. Now, turn the palms up and inhale your arms overhead. (Many traditions refer to this as Arms Reaching Overhead (Urdhva Hastasana), but I tend to call this Tadasana.) Double check to ensure you have maintained balance and alignment. Notice the length of your spine. After several breaths, lower the arms to your sides on an exhale.
Now, use the whole inhale to lift the arms overhead and the whole exhale to press the hands together through heart center. On the exhale of the third centering breath, walk to the front of the mat with hands through heart center.
Equal Standing is like a soldier in the “Ready” position. Moving through half of a Sun Salutation (Surya Namaskar), inhale arms over head into Arms Reaching Overhead; exhale and stretch the arms out wide as you dive between the hands into a Forward Bend; inhale to a Half Lift / Flat Back; exhale back to Forward Bend. Keeping the knees bent and the core engaged, inhale to reverse swan dive and then exhale hands back to your sides. Repeat the sequence until you feel you are alignment is strong and your mind is focused (on the breath), and your movement is fluid.
After the final exhale into Forward Bend, inhale into a Half Lift/ Flat Back and then step your left leg way back into a low lunge. Make sure the feet are in two separate lanes. Inhale to lengthen the spine and then exhale the back knee to the mat. Give yourself cushion under the back knee, as needed. Pressing down evenly into both feet, lift your torso up and place hands on your right thigh for a variation of Crescent Lunge (Anjaneyasana).
Use an exhale to slide the hips over the back knee and then place the back of the right hand on your sacrum (the flat part of your bum/hips) and place your left hand on the front of your pelvic bones. Your hands are now bracketing your hips. Slide the back hand down in order to direct the sit bones down. You may feel the front hand lifting as the pelvic bones lift. Notice the length of your spine, especially your low back. You may also feel engagement in your left hip and thigh. Stay here or bend the front knee deeper into the lunge – remembering to maintain the space in your low back. Hands can come to your front thigh or reach the hands over head. Again, engage your locks (bandhas). If you have Hot Half Moon (Ardha Chandrasana) in your practice, feel free to add it by lifting the left arm up and reaching it towards the right.
When you are ready to move on, place the hands on the mat and step back to Child’s Pose. From Child’s Pose, inhale to Cow Pose and exhale to Downward Facing Dog. Repeat the sequence of standing poses (starting with the first Forward Bend after Downward Facing Dog, substituting left for right).
After the second side of standing poses, move into Staff Pose (Dandasana). Remember, this pose is not disposable. Consider the length of your spine and how you use your locks (bandhas) to maintain it.
Keep the left leg extended and bend the right knee in order to set up the Sage Twist. Remember to keep the left heel and the right foot flat on the floor. You can place the right foot next to the inside or the outside of the left leg, as long as the knees are comfortable and the right foot is flat on the floor.
On an inhale, lift your right arm up and, as you watch it, reach the right arm back to the floor behind your hips. As you settle into the twist, adjust your left arm to provide additional support wherever you need it. You can always sit on a block and/or place a block under your hand if you’re hips and low back are really tight. If you don’t have a block, substitute a book.
Watch how you engage your base, your core, and your breath in order to lengthen your spine. Remember to start the twist in your base (not in your neck). Do not allow your body to collapse or untwist until you complete 3 – 5 complete breaths. After the third or fifth exhale, inhale to center, give the lifted knee a squeeze, and return to Staff Pose. Repeat the Sage Twist instructions for the Sage Twist (replacing right with left).
After the third or fifth exhale on the left, inhale to center and give the lifted knee a squeeze. Bend both knees, placing the feet flat on the floor. (NOTE: If you’d rather not balance on your sits bones, lie down on your back and follow the cues.)
Reach the arms forward with elbows next to the knees. Press down as if you are going to jump forward. Spread your toes, squeeze your perineum muscles together, belly button is up and back, press your shoulders down, and draw the chin towards the neck. Look up and press down to lift the ribs up on the inhale. As you exhale, lean back until the feet are off the ground and you are balancing on your tail bone. Bring legs up parallel to the ground. Check in with your locks (bandhas) – maybe even lifting the corners of your mouth up towards your ears for a smiling bandha. Begin to extend the legs by engaging the quadriceps and pushing through the heels. Keep your nose up and your eyes on your nose.
Find your edge, making sure your core works harder than your jaw or your arms. And then, lower down onto your back for Corpse Pose (Savasana). Find a place where your body and mind are still. Let the breath natural ebb and flow. Notice the strength of the body, all it is capable of doing. Give thanks. Notice the strength of the spirit, all it endures. Give thanks. Breathe peace in, breathe peace out. Give thanks.
In addition to being National Poetry Month and the month of when I ask you to Kiss My Asana, April is also Parkinson’s Awareness Month, National Child Abuse Prevention Month, Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, and the Month of the Military Child. The people whose stories are behind these awareness-building observations are some of the same people benefiting from the programs supported by Mind Body Solutions via your Kiss My Asana donation.
This opportunity to explore a poem on the mat is part of my offering for the 2018 Kiss My Asana yogathon. I encourage you to set aside at least 5 minutes a day during April, to practice with the poem as inspiration. You can practice in a class or on your own, but since the Kiss My Asana yogathon raises resources as well as awareness, I invite you to join me at the donation-based classes on April 28th.
I also challenge you to set aside a certain amount every day that you practice with a poem in mind. It doesn’t matter if you set aside one dollar per practice or $25 – set aside that amount each time you practice and donate it by April 30th.
Founded by Matthew Sanford, Mind Body Solutions helps those who have experienced trauma, loss, and disability find new ways to live by integrating both mind and body. They provide classes, workshops, and outreach programs. They also train yoga teachers and offer highly specialized training for health care professionals. By participating in the Kiss My Asana yogathon you join a global movement, but in a personal way. In other words, you practice yoga. Or, as this year’s tag line states….
A Joyful Practice 