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Not So De-Lovely Circumstance(s)? June 9, 2020

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“You can never give up because quitting is not an option. No matter how dark it is or how weak you get, until you take that last breath, you must fight.”


– Wayman Tisdale, professional musician and basketball player


“Sad times, may follow your tracks
Bad times, may bar you from Sak’s
At times, when Satan in slacks
Breaks down your self control

Maybe, as often it goes
Your Abe-y, may tire of his rose
So baby, this rule I propose
Always have an ace in the hole.”


– from “Ace in the Hole” by Cole Porter


Here’s a question: Have you ever experienced trauma, loss, and disability? We all have, on some level, and we all will before we leave this earth.

So, here’s a better question: Have you ever experienced trauma, loss, and disability that changed the way you viewed yourself and the world? Many who would have answered “no” to that question a month or two ago (or even a year ago), might answer “yes” now.

I specifically mention two months ago, rather than two weeks ago, because two months ago I was participating in the seventh annual Kiss My Asana yogathon, which benefited Mind Body Solutions. Known for their adaptive yoga program, which includes teacher training, and training for care givers Mind Body Solutions “helps those who have experienced trauma, loss, and disability find new ways to live by integrating both mind and body.” Founding teacher Matthew Sanford is constantly reminding us that at some point we are all going to experience trauma, loss, and disability. Even if we do not become physically disabled, we can experience trauma and loss that disables us and makes it impossible to do things the way we did them before. The practice of yoga, especially as it is applied by the teachers at MBS, is both simple and complex – because the way we deal with trauma, loss, and disability is simultaneously simple and complex… because humans are both simple and complex. Ultimately, it’s not the if/when/how we experience the trauma, loss, and disability that’s important. Ultimately, what’s important is how we deal with it.

“I am only half a man now.”


– Cole Porter to his friends in 1958


“Cancer might’ve taken my leg, but it can’t take my smile.”


– Wayman Tisdale in an ESPN interview released in 2008, five months before he died (The reporter noted that he followed the words with “that famous, ear-splitting grin.”)


Depending on how you look at them, Cole Porter (who was born today in 1891, in Peru, Indiana) and Wayman Tisdale (who was born today in 1964, in Fort Worth, Texas) don’t have a lot in common. Except for the whole birthday thing… and the fact that they were both professional musicians whose parents started their musical training at early ages. (Porter’s mother started him on violin lessons at 6 and piano lessons at 8. Tisdale’s father bought him his first bass guitar at age 8.) Tisdale said music was his “first love” and, undoubtedly, Porter would have shared the sentiment. They both ended up being known for jazz – although slightly different kinds of jazz. Oh, then there is the fact that they both engaged in highly physical activities (outside of music); Porter as an equestrian, Tisdale as a professional basketball player who was inducted into the College Basketball Hall of Fame (2009), the Oklahoma Hall of Fame (2009), and played in both the Olympics (1984) and Pan American (1983) Games. Both men were extremely well-liked and remarked upon because of their sunny dispositions.

Oh, and they were both (right leg) amputees.

Weird coincidence, huh? But, that’s not really the point today. The point today is how they dealt with their trauma, loss, and disability.

“The doctor had never given anyone chemo that was my size. They just calculated how much chemo to give me and said, ‘We hope it doesn’t mess up your kidneys. If it does, sorry.’”


– Wayman Tisdale in an ESPN interview released in 2008, five months before his death

In 1937, a horseback riding accident resulted in the horse crushing both of Cole Porter’s legs. In 2007, Wayman Tisdale fell down a flight of stairs and broke his leg – an accident that revealed he had osteosarcoma in his knee. Both men were bound and determined to live, despite their situations – which involved immense amounts of pain and uncertainty. By all accounts, including his own words, Wayman Tisdale accepted the amputation and focused on using the support around him to help him heal and move forward. He even appreciated the attitude of one of his master teachers/precious jewels, who he didn’t think wanted him to get better, stating in a 2008 ESPN interview, “At the time, I frowned on that. I look at it today that had I not persevered through a lot of the stuff [USA Team coach Bobby Knight] put me through, I probably wouldn’t be here today. I thank God for that dude because he pushed me.” Cole Porter, on the other hand, seems to have given up. He fought the amputation until he was given no other choice and, while he wrote an immense amount of music after the accident that ultimately cost him his leg, he wrote (so far as we know) not a lick after the amputation.

“The lines of ceaseless pain have been wiped from his face…I am convinced that his whole life will cheer up and that his work will profit accordingly.”


– Noel Coward writing in his diary about his friend Cole Porter, after Porter’s leg was amputated in 1958


“But when we first talked on the phone, he [Wayman] made me feel better. Ninety-five percent of us would’ve gone into a deep depression, but he didn’t.”


– Arthur Thompson, drummer and friend of Wayman Tisdale, in a 2008 ESPN interview, after Tisdale’s diagnosis and amputation


Please join me today (Tuesday, June 9th) at 12 Noon or 7:15 PM for a virtual yoga practice on Zoom, where you can check in with your attitude. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.

Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (Links will be available on Zoom and I have updated this page, with links, shortly before the Noon class. NOTE: Spotify users may have 2 Eartha Kitt songs. Enjoy.)


“For a man who lives by schedules to not know the next day because of being so fatigued, that puts things in perspective.”


– Dolphin Davis, Sr., Wayman Tisdale’s friend and personal trainer



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Fearless Play with Miles & Sally May 26, 2020

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“I’ve discovered that half the people would love to go into space and there’s no need to explain it them. The other half can’t understand and I couldn’t explain it to them. If someone doesn’t know why, I can’t explain it.”


– Sally Ride

“If you understood everything I say, you’d be me!”

– Miles Davis 


I often say that when I think of being fearless, I think of jazz and the rules of improve. I think of saying “yes, and….” I think of people like Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington, Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Charles Mingus, Dinah Washington, Charlie Parker, Thelonious Monk, Joshua Redman, the Marsalis family, and Jason Moran.

I also think about Miles Davis, who would have turned 94 today. But we’ll come back to him, because when I think of being fearless I also think of women like Christa McAuliffe and Sally Ride.

Ride, who was born today in 1951, was the first American woman in space and the third woman overall, (after Soviet cosmonauts Valentina Tereshkova and Svetlana Savitskaya). She is still the youngest American astronaut to have traveled into space and, although it wasn’t known at the time, she is now acknowledged as the first GLBTQIA astronaut. She once said, “I love the John Glenn model… I may call NASA in 25 years or so, and see it they’d like to send me to Mars.” And, she probably would have if she hadn’t been so busy teaching, running public-outreach programs for NASA, serving on two aerospace accident investigation boards, writing 7 books for children, and starting and running “Sally Ride Science” (which creates entertaining science programs and publications aimed at upper elementary and middle school children).

Part of what made Sally Ride fearless was that not only did she (to paraphrase McAuliffe) say yes to a seat on a rocket, she also said yes to being a role model. She kept the focus on the science even as she endured the most sexist questions from the public and the press; however, when she realized certain people were going to keep coming back to her gender, she used the platform she was being given to make room for more women and girls in the sciences.

“I never went into physics or the astronaut corps to become a role model. But after my first flight, it became clear to me that I was one. And I began to understand the importance of that to people. Young girls need to see role models in whatever careers they may choose, just so they can picture themselves doing those jobs someday. You can’t be what you can’t see.”

– Sally Ride

The fact that pretty much anyone (and everyone) in the public eye ends up as a possible role model can be dangerous – especially when people don’t accept the responsibility, or take it for granted. Miles Davis fits into this category. Born today in 1926, Davis said, “The thing to judge in any jazz artist is, does the man project and does the man have ideas.” Davis did and had both. He was a musical innovator who studied at the Institute of Musical Art, now known as Julliard, but also studied in jam sessions with jazz greats like Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie. He was a trailblazer, who kicked off the “cool jazz” movement, developed “hard bop,” and ultimately fused jazz with rock and funk. He would lose old fans, win new fans, and then gain the old fans back – because he did the thing he told other musicians to do: he didn’t play what was there, he played what wasn’t there.

“A legend is an old man with a cane known for what he used to do. I’m still doing it.”


– Miles Davis

For all his musical success, however, Davis battled demons. He grew up in a fairly well off family, but people often assumed he grew up poor and was uneducated. He struggled with the fact that although albums like his Birth of the Cool were historically and musically important, they didn’t have the same success as albums by white musicians in the same genre. He also struggled with cocaine and heroin addiction, once broke both ankles in a car accident, and by all accounts (including his own) he was physically and emotionally abusive to all three of his wives (and most likely any other women with whom he had a romantic relationship).

Miles Davis was a narcissistic abusive jerk. He was also a genius. Interestingly, even now, Pearl Cleage is one of the few people to speak of his abuse. Not because she personally experienced it, but because she wanted people (especially men) to stop and think about how they engage in relationships. She wanted shine a light on how not to act in relationships.

“No, you should not feel guilty. Miles is dead. We can just hope the next time he comes around his spirit and his personality will be as lovely as his music.”

– Pearl Cleage, author of Mad at Miles: A Blackwoman’s Guide to Truth, in a 2012 interview for Atlanta Magazine (when asked about listening to music by Miles Davis)

This week, we reconnect and remember those that came before and consider what lessons their lives have to teach us. Please join me today (Tuesday, May 19th) at 12 Noon or 7:15 PM for a little fearless play in the form of a yoga practice on Zoom. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class.

Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.

“Suppose you come across a woman lying on the street with an elephant sitting on her chest. You notice she is short of breath. Shortness of breath can be a symptom of heart problems. In her case, the much more likely cause is the elephant on her chest.

For a long time, society put obstacles in the way of women who wanted to enter the sciences. That is the elephant. Until the playing field has been levelled and lingering stereotypes are gone, you can’t even ask the question”



– Sally Ride in a 2006 USA Today interview with Robert Alan Benson

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also call the TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.



Shy & Fearless ‘Round Midnight (give or take 12 hours) April 25, 2020

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(“Ramadan Mubarak, Blessed Ramadan!” to anyone who is observing Ramadan. I typically talk about Ramadan at the end of the season, so keep your eyes open.)

Yoga Sutra 2.17: draşțŗdŗśyayoh samyogo heyahetuh

– “The union of the seer and the seeable is the cause of pain (that may be avoidable).”

It is a little overwhelming to reach a certain point in a challenging climb, to look out and realize how far you’ve come, and then to look forward and realize you may not be ready for the last little bit that takes you to the peak. Do you go back? Do you climb on? Do you stand in one spot, paralyzed by indecision? Do you regret or celebrate? Do you fear or persevere?

These are the questions we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives – and sometimes at multiple times in our lives. These were questions I found myself asking as I prepared for Saturday’s class and realized that perhaps I had not prepared the regulars for what was about to come. These were also the questions (or some variation of the questions) a young Ella Fitzgerald asked herself as she stood on the Apollo Theater stage during one of the early Amateur Nights.

Born today (April 25th) in 1917, Fitzgerald would eventually become a bandleader known as the First Lady of Jazz, Mama of Jazz, Lady Ella, and the Queen of Jazz. She would be championed by musicians like Benny Carter and Chick Webb (who gave her one of her big shots); composers like Ira Gershwin (who once said, “I never knew how good our songs were until I heard Ella Fitzgerald sing them”); and celebrities like Marilyn Monroe and Frank Sinatra (both of whom challenged segregation laws and racial bias, in their own ways, on Ella’s behalf). She would be heralded by universities and heads of state, awarded the National Medal of Arts (by President Ronald Reagan in 1987), and presented France’s Commander of Arts and Letters award in 1990.

On November 21, 1934, however, when she stood on the stage at the Apollo, Ella Fitzgerald was just a shy, reserved, self-conscious 17-year old orphan with a reportedly disheveled appearance.  She hadn’t become a legendary scat artist, hadn’t recorded a single song (let alone over 200 albums) and hadn’t performed at Carnegie Hall once (let along 26 times). In fact, the woman who would eventually be known for her ability to mimic any horn in the orchestra wasn’t even planning to sing!

“They were the dancingest sisters around.”

– Ella Fitzgerald describing Ruth and Louise Edwards (known as the Edwards Sisters)

Yes, you read that right: Ella Fitzgerald didn’t enter the Apollo’s Amateur Night as a singer. She intended to dance. The problem was the main event concluded with the Edwards Sisters, a crowd favorite. Seeing the Edwards Sisters’ tap dancing bring the house down – and knowing the critical (and vocal) reputation of the Apollo audience – young Ella froze, and asked herself some variation of those aforementioned questions.

“Once up there, I felt the acceptance and love from my audience. I knew I wanted to sing before people the rest of my life.”

– Ella Fitzgerald on how it felt after she sang one of her mother’s favorite songs at the Apollo

It’s a weird dichotomy to think of Ella Fitzgerald as both shy and fearless; yet, that is exactly who and what she was. Out of context it sounds odd. When you know more of her story, however, it is inspiring and encouraging. After all, every one of us can make the decision to climb on, to celebrate, and to persevere. All we need is to recognize what is already inside of us, what has gotten us this far. At the same time, what has gotten us this far is also what might have us giving up and turning back. The path forward is also the path back.

 “The uninformed, not mature, think these two paths – renunciation/contemplation (sankhya yoga) and action (karma yoga) – lead to different results, but that is not true. They are essentially the same, compare them.

Right knowing or wisdom (jnana yoga) leads to right doing. Right doing (karma yoga) gives rise to right knowing. Take either path to the very end and they meet. At that place the contemplative seeker of knowledge greets the person of action, and they are both equally free from the cycle of birth and death. The person who knows this oneness of paths really knows the Truth.”

The Bhagavid Gita: A Walkthrough for Westerners (5:4 – 5:6), by Jack Hawley

 “The [state of] realization gained through the practice of Sankhya can also be gained through the practice of Yoga. An aspirant fully established in one attains the fruits of both.”


The Bhagavid Gita (5:6), alternate translation by Pandit Rajmani Tigunait

In that moment of questioning, young Ella’s consciousness, her awareness of herself and her awareness of what she could do, merged with all the possible outcomes and in that moment there was fear of failing on the stage and also, as a teenager already taking care of herself in the world, there was the fear of failing in life. So, there was suffering – and, in this case, (mental) suffering that could also lead to (physical) pain. In that same moment, she also recognized a way to succeed and to alleviate (or avoid) some of her suffering.

This takes us back to Schrödinger’s Cat and the Emperor Marcus Aurelius saying that “the obstacle is the way.” It also moves us forward into this week’s sutra.

If you’re interested in a little fearless play (and contemplation) to celebrate Ella Fitzgerald’s birthday, please join me today (Saturday, April 25th) at 12 Noon, for a virtual yoga practice on Zoom. Some of the new Zoom security protocols have definitely kicking in; so, please use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems. Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.

Don’t forget to fearlessly Kiss My Asana!!

The Kiss My Asana livestream, all-humanity, Kick-Off gathering is also today (Saturday, April 25th) at 10 AM!! Mind Body Solutions founder Matthew Sanford will share his insights into the practice, plus there will be live conversation with MBS students and mind-body practices for all. Get a glimpse into the work, the people, and the humanity of the adaptive yoga program and help raise $50K of essential support.

Kiss My Asana is the annual yogathon that benefits Mind Body Solutions, which was founded by Matthew Sanford to help those who have experienced trauma, loss, and disability find new ways to live by integrating both mind and body. Known for their adaptive yoga classes, MBS provides “traditional yoga” classes, workshops, and outreach programs. They also train yoga teachers and offer highly specialized training for health care professionals. This year’s yogathon, the 7th annual yogathon, is only a week long. Seven days, starting tomorrow (Saturday), to do yoga, share yoga, and help others.  By participating in the Kiss My Asana yogathon you join a global movement, but in a personal way. In other words, you practice yoga… for 7 days.

The yogathon raises resources and awareness. So, my goal this year is to tell 7 stories in 7 days and raise $600 for Mind Body Solutions. You can do yoga starting Saturday. (I am still hosting my Zoom classes on Saturday and Sunday, so consider doing all three!) You can share yoga be inviting a friend to one of my classes or by forwarding one of the blog posts. You can help others by donating or, if you are not able to donate, come to class Saturday – Wednesday (or request a class you can do on your own) and practice the story poses on Thursday and Friday so that I can make a donation on your behalf.

You can add 5 minutes of yoga (or meditation) to your day; you can learn something new about your practice; or even teach a pose to someone close to you – or even to one of your Master Teachers/Precious Jewels.

To give you some ideas about how you can spend this week, consider that in past years my KMA offerings have included donation-based classes and (sometimes) daily postings. Check out one of my previous offerings dated April 25th (or thereabouts):

30 Poses in 30 Days (scroll down to see April 25th)

A Musical Preview (scroll down to see March 25th)

A 5-Minute Practice

5 Questions Answered by Yogis

Answers to Yogis Questions

Psst…Ella’s story is my first KMA offering. So far I only have one yogi submitted story, which means I need 5 more. Please tell me your story!