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All The Power of Kindness to the nth Degree (the “missing” Wednesday post) November 13, 2024

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Art, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Dharma, Donate, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Karma Yoga, Life, Loss, Love, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Poetry, Science, Suffering, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Tragedy, Volunteer, Wisdom, Yin Yoga, Yoga.
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone expressing kindness, friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom.

It’s World Kindness Day! Be nice to yourself and let the kindness ripple out from there!

This is the “missing” post for Wednesday, November 13th. There is a reference to a terrorist attacks in 2015. There is also a note indicating how you can skip that part. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).

Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.

“In Chinese medicine, the emotions are simply an expression of chi and are not considered good or bad. It is less important which emotions are present and more about whether they are able to flow without impediment, whether they are blocked or repressed. Every prolonged disturbing emotion affects the [health] of our organs and meridians, and every imbalance in our organ-meridian system is tied to a propensity for certain emotions.”

— quoted from the “Emotional Qualities” section of “6. The Kidneys and Urinary Bladder” in Insight Yoga by Sarah Powers (Forward by Paul Grilley, Photography by Matthew Carden)

Just as we did throughout this last week, take a moment to bring awareness to how you are feeling and then breathe into how you are feeling. Many people have a tendency to place a value judgement on their feelings; however, in many Eastern philosophies (like Yoga and Buddhism), everything is recognized as a manifestation of energy — including our emotions.

It can sometimes be helpful to sit with our emotions, breathe into them, and maybe even name them. We might tell ourselves (or others) the story behind them. But, part of this practice is about noticing how our emotions change. In some of the Eastern philosophies (and their accompanying sciences and practices), emotions can have a “near peer” (what is classically referred to in some Buddhist traditions as a “near enemy”) as well as an “opposite”, or two (what is classically referred to in some Buddhist traditions as a “far enemy”). This particular practice highlights the idea of emotions and their opposites — with a particular focus on lovingkindness, which is the opposite of anger/frustration.

“Studies have found that acts of kindness are linked to increased feelings of well-being. Kindness has also been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood.”

— quoted from the “Celebrating World Kindness Day 2024 with Save the Children” on the Save the Children website

November 13th is World Kindness Day. Established in 1998, by the World Kindness Movement, a coalition of non-governmental organizations (NGOs) from around the world, this day is an opportunity to express kindness; highlight good deeds; and focus on the goodness that can be found around the world. It is a day to look beyond trivialities that separate us and focus on the things that unite us.

Some organizations use World Kindness Day to highlight the “Significance” of kindness and how it can cultivate more harmony in the world. For example, Save the Children focuses on the connection between kindness and a child’s ability to be “physically and emotionally healthy and intellectually curious” with their World Kindness Day theme: “The Importance of Kindness in Child Development”.

“So before you go out searching
Don’t decide what you will find
Be more kind, my friends
Try to be more kind

You should know you’re not alone
And that trouble comes, and trouble goes”

— quoted from the song “Be More Kind” by Frank Turner

There are formal/official events around the world, but you can celebrate kindness (today or any day) in really simple ways. You can offer someone a hug and/or a remind that they are not alone. You can remind someone (even yourself) that “this too shall pass”. You could do something nice for yourself and/or someone you love. For instance, you could listen to someone who is having a hard time. You could just hold the door or the elevator for someone in a rush. Another way to observe is to volunteer and/or make a donation. You could also perform a random act of kindness for someone you have never met and will never meet. Remember, a little kindness can go a long way and it doesn’t have to cost you anything.

Consider that being nice can benefit you and the people around. Just think of a really challenging moment, a moment when you are angry and/or frustrated. Now, consider how the energy in the room can shift when you do doing something nice — for yourself or the person with whom you are sharing the challenging experience. For that matter, consider how your mood shifts when you do something nice for someone not connected to your anger and frustration. This is one of the ways we can cultivate the opposites.

Yoga Sūtra 2.33: vitarkabādhane pratipakṣabhāvanam

— “When these codes of self-regulation or restraint (yamas) and observances or practices of self-training (niyamas) are inhibited from being practiced due to perverse, unwholesome, troublesome, or deviant thoughts, principles in the opposite direction, or contrary thought should be cultivated.”

There are times when it can be particularly challenging to be wise and skillful. There are times, as Patanjali pointed out in the Yoga Sūtras, when we may not be practicing the philosophy (or have not practiced long enough for it’s principles to be a habit). For instance, we might be in a state of panic, because someone is committing an act of terrorism.

You may skip to the next highlighted quote.

In 2015, Paris experienced several terrorist attacks. Early in the year, two terrorists attacked the headquarters of Charlie Hebdo, a weekly satirical magazine. Many people were injured. Twelve people were killed, including Ahmed Merabet, a 42-year old police officer. For weeks afterwards, there was more death and more terror — some coming in the form of retaliation against people who were perceived as being similar to the terrorists (because of their perceived religion, race, and/or ethnicity).

For weeks afterwards, there was also kindness: In a show of solidarity, people around the world proclaimed, “Je suis Charlie” and “Je suis Ahmed” (“I am Charlie” and “I am Ahmed”).

Fast forward to November 13, 2015, when three groups of terrorists coordinated attacks outside the Stade de France in Saint-Denis (a northern suburb of Paris); at a series of cafés and restaurants in Paris; and at the Bataclan theatre in Paris. The stadium was full of fans attending an international football match; the cafés and restaurants were crowded; and the theatre was hosting a sold-out concert. In fact, Eagles of Death Metal, an American rock band, had just started playing a song from their 2004 album, Peace, Love, Death Metal. Approximately 416 people were injured and 130 were killed, including 90 at the Bataclan. One of the people killed at the theatre was 36-year old Nick Alexander, who had been selling merchandise for Eagles of Death Metal. As is always the case with terrorism, some of the injuries are on the inside. At least three people later died by suicide that resulted from PTSD related to the attacks.

The kindness that followed the attacks came in a lot of different forms, including musical forms. Proceeds from Eagles of Death Metal’s cover of the Duran Duran song “Save a Prayer” were donated to charity. Josh Homme, the drummer for Eagles of Death Metal (EOD), encouraged other musicians to cover the EOD song “I Love You All the Time” — with proceeds from those covers going to victims of the attack by way of the 501(c)(3) Sweet Stuff Foundation.

“Ah dis-moi pourquoi
Ah dis-moi pourquoi
Ah dis-moi pourquoi”

— quoted from the end of the song “I Love You All the Time” by Eagles of Death Metal (written by Jesse Nathaniel Hughes / Mark Ramos Nishita)

NOTE: The final French lyrics can be translated into English as “Oh tell me why” (3x)

We all witness people come together during great tragedies. But, sometimes we forget that there is always someone watching to see how we deal with any challenging situations and emotions. The children of the world are always watching us.

Just as it is important to remember that we can come together on any given day, it is important to remember that people are watching to see if/when we do — and how we do it. World Kindness Day is as good time as any to remember that we can all set an example for the children around us. This is true even if we are not parents; even if we are not teachers.

This is true even if we are not always perfect and wise. For example, in 2011, a professional basketball player, who was born today in 1979, legally changed his name to Metta World Peace — which translates to Lovingkindness World Peace. Now known as Metta Sandiford-Artest, a surname that combines his birth surname and his wife’s surname, he said that he made the initial change “to inspire and bring youth together all around the world”.

“Think of your fellow man
Lend him a helping hand
Put a little love in your heart

You see it’s getting late
Oh, please don’t hesitate
Put a little love in your heart”

— quoted from the song “Put a Little Love in Your Heart” by  Jackie DeShannon, covered by Eagles of Death Metal (written by Jackie De Shannon / Jimmy Holiday / Randy Myers)

Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “11132024 All The Power of Kindness to the nth Degree”]

This cover is not (yet) on the playlist.

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

“Because I believe that the most
daring, outlandish, revolutionary thing
you can do in 21st century America
is to treat everybody
people you know, people you don’t know
with dignity and kindness whenever possible.”

— quoted from the song “Rebel” by King Straggler

### Definitely Be A Rebel ###

More Like Birds & Trees (the “missing” Tuesday post) July 26, 2023

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Confessions, Daoism, Depression, Gratitude, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Maya Angelou, Meditation, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Pema Chodron, Philosophy, Poetry, Science, Suffering, Taoism, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Twin Cities, Wisdom, Writing, Yin Yoga, Yoga.
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Stay hydrated, y’all, and “may our hearts be open!”

This is a “missing” post for Tuesday, July 25th. NOTE: Some links direct to sites outside of this blog. You can request an audio recording of either practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.)

“When we suffer, we tend to think that suffering is all there is at that moment, and happiness belongs to some other time or place.”

― quoted from from “1. The Art of Transforming Suffering: Suffering and Happiness are not Separate” in No Mud, No Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh

How are you doing today?

Seriously. I really want know how you’re feeling and how you’re doing today.

I’m asking because I care.

I’m also asking because, in order to answer (honestly), you have to check in with yourself – and that’s an important part of the practice.

My personal practice includes this blog, my class notes (a. k. a. the notebooks full of hieroglyphics), videos and playlists, and my personal journals. All of those bits and pieces of the process give me the ability to look back and notice how the ways I’m feeling change: from one moment/day/week/month/year to the next. Nestled together are big changes and little changes that I might have missed if I didn’t have this type of practice. There are instances where I find myself experiencing the same things around the same time of year (or month). Similarly, there are times when an emotion/sensation that was simmering in the background comes to a boil.

Then, there are times when something like anger is still present, but no longer carries the same charge.

“Anger is a mental, psychological phenomenon, yet it is closely linked to biological and biochemical elements. Anger makes you tense your muscles, but when you know how to smile, you begin to relax and your anger will decrease. Smiling allows the energy of mindfulness to be born in you, helping you to embrace your anger.”

― quoted from “Two – Putting Out the Fire of Anger: Tools for Cooling the Flames” in Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh

A couple of years ago, I was contemplating anger, because it was everywhere. As I do, I turned to my practice, which included a bit of history and the wisdom of teachers like Thích Nhất Hạnh and Pema Chödrön. I noted that external factors, like the “great heat, major heat”, can affect our emotions. I even dived into the tropes and stereotypes around “angry Black women” and I touched on the flip side of that – people thinking I shouldn’t feel strong emotions because I practice yoga and meditation. That last part is something that some men in certain cultures have also had to deal with because of tropes and stereotypes related to their gender and emotions.

I also mentioned how eastern philosophies and their medical sciences – like Daoism and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and Yoga and Ayurveda – view every emotion as an energetic experience (as well as a mental, psychological, physiological, biological, and biochemical experience) whereby energy is either in-balance or out-of-balance. Finally, I outlined some steps any one of us can take in order to move into balance. Keep in mind, as Dr. Beau Lotto pointed out, that what may seem like a baby step to me, may feel like a giant leap to you (and vice versa).

The thing is, all of the anger that I referenced, in 2021, is still present. For some people, it has even been magnified. However, anger is no longer on the top of the list of the things I’m feeling. Instead, I’m a little weary… and tired of the shenanigans that previously made me so angry. This feeling is something that I brought up this time last year, in a “9 Days” video* inspired by a map (that a little kid gave me back in 2008) and a Dermot Kennedy song.

“My sense of wonder’s just a little tired”

― quoted from the song “Lost” by Dermot Kennedy, co-written by Carey Willetts

Considering our emotional experiences from an energetic standpoint may help us accept our emotions as natural (which they are) – even if we don’t believe in the traditional sciences. First, they give us a place to start; a first and second step if you will. The eastern philosophies and their sister sciences can be useful processing paradigms, because every energetic experience has an opposite reaction (as well as what we can consider a near-peer) and we are encouraged to cultivate the opposites (when we are out of balance). As I mentioned on Sunday and Monday, heart (YIN) and small intestine (YANG) meridians have several associations, including joy (when in-balance) versus anxiety (when out-of-balance). The other big emotion pairs (based on Yin Yoga) include:

  • Anger and Frustration versus Kindness/Lovingkindness
  • Worry versus Peace, Faith, and Acceptance (or Trustful Surrender)
  • Grief and Sorrow versus Courage, Resilience, Tenacity (balanced with non-attachment), and Reverence
  • Fear versus Wisdom

Consider, for a moment, how your emotions shift when you are feeling angry and/or frustrated and then do something kind (for yourself and/or for someone else). Consider, also, what happens when cultivating a moment of peace/acceptance enables you to let go of a worry. Maybe, in that moment, of trustful surrender you find the wisdom inside of yourself that alleviates some fear.

Years ago, in a meditation group, my dharma and yoga buddy Lenice dropped a little wisdom during a particularly harsh winter: What if we were more like the trees? Think about it, as long as they are alive, they grow and blossom and let go of the things that no longer serve them. In the essay, “Africa,” published in the collection Even the Stars Look Lonesome, Maya Angelou wrote about trauma and stated, “An African proverb spells out the truth: ‘The ax forgets. The tree remembers.’” Another way to think about that is: the tree remembers it’s trauma, but keeps living; keeps blossoming and growing; keeps letting go of what no longer serves it.

Of course, Dr. Angelou and Victor Hugo also remind us that we are (or can be) like birds – and, sometimes the practice just comes down to knowing what we need in order to blossom, grow, sing, and let go of what no longer serves us.

“Be like the bird, who
Halting in his flight
On limb too slight
Feels it give way beneath him,
Yet sings
Knowing he hath wings.”

– quoted from the poem “Be Like the Bird” by Victor Hugo

NOTE: In Abbie Betinis’s musical composition (which is on the playlists), “she” has wings.

Again, you might be having a moment where some (or all) of this feels like giant leaps. And, that’s OK. Maybe it’s too much to think about smiling, blossoming, singing, and flying. Maybe you just need to focus on the breathing! The key is to find the thing that makes sense for you in this moment.

Then, when it makes sense, consider what seems like the next logical step, given where you are and how you’re feeling. Maybe, what you need is a different perspective; so, you reach out to a friend or a professional. I recently heard of a new app, called “White Flag,” that cultivates peer-to-peer support. (Full disclosure, I haven’t checked it out or investigated it much, but I’ve heard good things.) Maybe what you need is to go back to that first step and breathe some more.

Maybe what you need is more movement or maybe less movement (depending on the weather). Maybe you don’t wanna move today (and there’s now a video on the Carry app for that). Either way, keep in mind that, as Sarah Powers pointed out in Insight Yoga: An innovative synthesis of traditional yoga, meditation, and Eastern approaches to healing and well-being, “All emotions associated with the organs are considered natural responses to life. Yet when they become compulsive or prolonged, they become injurious to our overall health.”

“If we can learn to see and skillfully engage with both the presence of happiness and the presence of suffering, we will go in the direction of enjoying life more. Every day we go a little farther in that direction, and eventually we realize that suffering and happiness are not two separate things.”

― quoted from from “1. The Art of Transforming Suffering: Suffering and Happiness are not Separate” in No Mud, No Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh

So, how are you doing, in this moment?

While I hope you are doing well, I also recognize that you may be, simultaneously, feeling a certain kind of way about things and that you might label some of those ways as “not so well” and/or “not so good.” You might even be having one of the moments/days/weeks/months/years/lifetimes that you would describe as “mostly good.”

Or, maybe in this moment, you’re “good” and you’re taking everything a moment at a time.

I see all that. I care about that. May you be where you need to be; “[going] in the direction of enjoying life more;” moving towards your experience of happiness – whether that experience is an ecstatic kind of joy, not being miserable, or somewhere in between.

“Happiness is possible right now, today―but happiness cannot be without suffering. Some people think that in order to be happy they must avoid all suffering, so they are constantly vigilant, constantly worrying. They end up sacrificing all their spontaneity, freedom, and joy. This isn’t correct. If you can recognize and accept your pain without running away from it, you will discover that although pain is there, joy can also be there at the same time.”

― quoted from from “1. The Art of Transforming Suffering: Suffering and Happiness are not Separate” in No Mud, No Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh

Due to technical difficulties, we used two different set of playlists for this practice. The evening playlist is the one specifically mixed for this date.

Tuesday afternoon’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “04102021 Si se puede & Birds”]

Tuesday evening’s playlist is also available on YouTube and Spotify.

NOTE: The evening playlist on YouTube contains additional videos. I was not aware of this “Birdsong” when I made the playlist, so it is not (currently) included on either format.

“Each morning I offer a stick of incense to the Buddha. I promise myself that I will enjoy every minute of the day that is given me to live.”

― quoted from “Five – Compassionate Communication: Nourishing Ourselves” in Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh

*That aforementioned 9 Days” video

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

During the practice, I mention a new app (White Flag), which I have not researched, but which may be helpful if you need (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

### NOTICE HOW WHAT YOU’RE FEELING CHANGES ###