First Friday Night Special #54 — Invitation to “Trust Yourself to Soothe Yourself” May 2, 2025
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Donate, Faith, Healing Stories, Health, Karma Yoga, Life, Love, Meditation, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Suffering, Volunteer, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: 988, Baby and Child Care, compassion, Dorothea Fox, Dr. Benjamin Spock, emotions, Health, KISS MY ASANA, mental health, movement, Restorative Yoga, soothing, yoga, yoga practice
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Many blessings to anyone Counting the Omer or observing the second week of Pascha!
Peace and many blessings to everyone!!
Some elements of the following have previously been posted.
“TRUST YOURSELF.
1. You know more than you think you do.”
— quoted from “Preparing for the Baby” in The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care (pub. 1946) by Benjamin Spock, M. D. (with illustrations by Dorothea Fox)
Dr. Benjamin Spock, who was born today in 1903, started off his bestselling book with advice to parents that also applies to our yoga practice (on and off the mat). Even if this is your first time on the mat, trust yourself. Even if this is your 50,000th time on the mat, trust yourself. See what you see and notice how you engage what you see, inside and outside.
Bring awareness, also, to how you engage what is unseen — and, how you engage yourself. Notice what makes you tense up — as if you are bracing for impact — and notice what allows you to relax, release, and rest. Notice the state in which you are most comfortable. Notice the state in which you are most productive. Notice if you are relaxed, comfortable, and productive — or if you find yourself comfortable in a situation where you are not resting and not productive.
Notice what helps you shift, inside and outside.
Remember, as Dr. Spock reminded parents, that each child [read: individual] is unique.
This is the practice.
“What is the meaning of these rhythmic movements? I don’t think we know for sure, but here are some suggestions. In the first place, these motions usually appear in the second half of the first year, in the age period when babies naturally begin to get a sense of rhythm and try to sway in time to music. But this is at best only a partial explanation. Jouncing and head-banging occur mostly when a baby is going to sleep or is partly awakened. We know that many babies when they are tired do not go directly and peacefully to sleep, but must go through a slightly tense period first. There are the 2- and 3-month-old infants who always scream for a few minutes before dropping off. Perhaps those older babies who suck their thumbs to go to sleep, and the others who bang their heads or jounce, are also trying to soothe away a tense feeling.”
— quoted from “How Baby Is Doing: Common Nervous Symptoms — 124. Head-rolling, head-banging, jouncing.” in The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care (pub. 1946) by Benjamin Spock, M. D. (with illustrations by Dorothea Fox)
Please join me tonight, Friday, May 2, 2025, 7:15 PM – 8:20 PM (CST) for “Trust Yourself to Soothe Yourself”. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
This Restorative Yoga practice is accessible and open to all.
Friday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “05032024 Balancing Holding On & Letting Go”]
NOTE: At the beginning of the practice, you will be prompted to pause and select a track. The playlist tracks are slightly different in length and duration; however, the overall content is the same.
A playlist inspired by Dr. Benjamin Spock’s life and work is also available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “05022020 Dr Spock’s Big Day”]
Prop wise, I will suggest using a ball (or water bottle) and this is a kitchen sink practice. You can practice without props or you can use “studio” and/or “householder” props. Example of “Studio” props: 1 – 2 blankets, 2 – 3 blocks, a bolster, a strap, and an eye pillow. Example of “Householder” props: 1 – 2 blankets or bath towels, 2 – 3 books (similar in size), 2 standard pillows (or 1 body pillow), a belt/tie/sash, and a face towel.
You may want extra layers (as your body may cool down during this practice). Having a wall, chair, sofa, or coffee table will also be handy.
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
You can still click here to Kiss My Asana Now! (Or, you can still also click here to join my team and get people to kiss [your] asana!)
### PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION ###
Creativity, Light, & Freedom (the “missing” Wednesday post) February 12, 2025
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Art, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Food, Gratitude, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Kumbh Mela, Life, Love, Men, Music, New Year, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Vipassana, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.Tags: 988, Abraham Lincoln, Amrit Snan, Black History Month, Carnival, Charles Darwin, Contemplation, Creativity, Da Shuhua, dǎshùhuā, Diana Galloway, discernment, Dongfang Shuo, Dragon Boat Festival, emotions, First Officer Stephanie Grant, Frances Mayes, Fugitive Slave Act, Jade Emperor, Jan Swammerdam, Judy Blume, Lantern Festival, Lunar New Year, Maha Kumbh Mela, Mahā Kumbha Mēlā, riddles, Strait Times, tangyuan, Thích Nhất Hạnh, Thich Nhat Hanh, Tuskegee Airmen, Tuskegee Institute, Vipassanā, Wang De, Year of the Snake, Yuan Xiao
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Many blessings to everyone, and especially those celebrating Carnival, Maha Kumbh Mela, and the the Lantern Festival!
Peace, ease, and contemplation throughout this “Season for Nonviolence” and all other seasons!!!
This “missing” post for Wednesday, February 12th (which was also the 15th and final day of the Spring Festival) is a compilation post. It includes some new material, some revised material, and excerpts. You can request an audio recording of this practice or a previous practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).
Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.
“Always old, sometimes new…”
— a riddle* (read post for clues, see the end for the answer)
Philosophically speaking, part of our yoga practice is about bring awareness to what we know — or what we think we know — about ourselves and the world around us. Once we do that, we have begun the process of recognizing how what we know or think we know determines our actions, our thoughts, our words, our deeds. Our beliefs influence the we interact with ourselves, with others, and with our environment. Once we really get into it, we also start to notice when — or if — we incorporate new information into our belief system; thereby adjusting our actions as we grow and mature.
At some point, we may start to notice how our experiences shape our beliefs and how our experiences and beliefs determine what we chose to do on any given day. Hopefully, we also recognize that other people make other choices based on the their beliefs and experiences. If we can see that, be open to the reality of that, and maybe dig a little deeper into that reality, we gain better understanding of ourselves (and maybe of the world). In other words, we gain insight.
Vipassanā is a Buddhist meditation technique that has also become a tradition. It literally means “to see in a special way” and can also be translated as “special, super seeing”. In English, however, it is usually translated as “insight”. This insight is achieved by sitting, breathing, and watching the mind-body without judging the mind-body. Part of the practice is even to recognize when you are judging and, therefore, recognizing when you are getting in your own way. This can be seen as a (non-religious) form of discernment — which also requires observation — all of it is part of our yoga practice.
Of course, there are times when what we are feeling and/or the way we are feeling makes it hard to see clearly. In fact, the stronger we feel something, the harder it may be to focus on what is important.
“Anger is a mental, psychological phenomenon, yet it is closely linked to biological and biochemical elements. Anger makes you tense your muscles, but when you know how to smile, you begin to relax and your anger will decrease. Smiling allows the energy of mindfulness to be born in you, helping you to embrace your anger.”
— quoted from “Two – Putting Out the Fire of Anger: Tools for Cooling the Flames” in Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
Anger, fear, frustration, jealousy, worry, love, hate, anxiety, grief, and joy are some of the strong emotions that manifest in our bodies — e.g., in our expressions and gestures. Born February 12,1637, the Dutch biologist and microscopist Jan Swammerdam probably could have told us which muscles engage and which muscles relax when we smile versus when we frown. He studied muscle contractions; is recognized as the first person to observe and describe red blood cells; and also recognized as one of the first people (in Western science) to use a microscope in dissection.
Like Charles Darwin, who was February 12, 1809, Dr. Swammerdam had some controversial ideas about the origins of things — specifically about the origins of insects. Both men stirred up strong emotions in the peers and the populace, just like Abraham Lincoln (who was born on the exact same day as Charles Darwin — which also happens to be the anniversary of the day President George Washington signed the Fugitive Slave Act of 1793).
February 12th is also the anniversary of two other notable moments in American history. First, it was the day (in 1930) when the executive committee of the Rosenwald Fund approved two grants (totaling $10,000) to the Alabama State Board of Health — which would be used to start a syphilis treatment pilot program in Macon County, at Tuskegee Institute. Later, in 2009, it was the day when then Captain Rachelle Jones Kerr, First Officer Stephanie Grant, and Flight Attendants Robin Rogers and Diana Galloway became the first all African American commercial flight crew. Their historic flights (on Atlantic Southeast Airlines flights #5202 and #5106, between Atlanta and Nashville) were not planned; they happened because someone called in sick. Still, the odds of everything falling into place as it did were pretty low considering there were less Black women licensed to fly then than there are now; and now, there are still less than 1%.
“When we got to the gate in Nashville, and all of the passengers were off, we asked the gate agent would she take our picture. So we stuffed ourselves in the galley and one by one, she took our cell phones and snapped our picture. She asked us, ‘Why do you want your pictures taken?’ Flight Attendant, Diana Galloway said, “Oh, it’s because we’re sisters!’ The gate agent’s response was priceless. She said, “Oh, your mother must be so proud!’”
— quoted from “12th Anniversary of the First All-Female African American Flight Crew” by First Officer Stephanie Grant, Director of Development for Sisters of the Skies, Inc.
CLICK ON THE EXCERPT TITLES BELOW FOR MORE.
Golden Tigers Made of Steel (a Black History footnote)
En L’Air (a special Black History 2.5-for-1 note)
“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.”
— quoted from Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume (b. 02/12/1938)
Since strong emotions also manifest in our words, they show up in the stories of our lives and the stories we tell about our lives — and these stories, in turn, can elicit strong emotions. For example, consider the stories Judy Blume, who was born February 12, 1938. She has written books that often get banned and that have also changed people’s lives — in the best possible way. She writes about topics people often find hard for to discuss, including: racism, gender, menstruation, divorce, bullying, masturbation, sex and sexuality, and emotions like anger, fear, and grief. To some people, the worst part is not only that she has tackled these issues in her books; it’s that most of her books are intended for children and young adults. And, let’s be honest, nothing pushes people’s buttons like someone talking about things they are uncomfortable discussing. While we can say that there are some things better left unsaid, there are also things that need to be said — just in a skillful manner and… while treating ourselves and others with lovingkindness.
Just as we can look to modern fiction and nonfiction for skillful/wise, and kind ways to navigate strong emotions, we can also look to ancient and sacred stories. In fact, strong emotions show up in all the stories I’ve shared over the last few weeks in relation Black History Month, Navaratri, Maha Kumbh Mela, and the Lunar New Year / Spring Festival. “Creativity”, the “Season for Nonviolence” principle for Wednesday, February 12th, also plays a part in the stories and the traditions related to the Lantern Festival, which is the culmination of the Spring Festival.
Click on the excerpt title below for the full post related to Jan Swammerdam, Charles Darwin, and Judy Blume (on a different Lunar New Year day).
Anger and the Importance of Having “Treats” Before You Speak (a post-practice Monday post)
LANTERN FESTIVAL (LUNAR NEW YEAR DAY 15, excerpt):
“We buy blood oranges and tiny green lentils from a jar, chestnuts, winter pears, winy little apples, and broccoli, which I’ve never seen in Italy before. ‘Lentils for the New Year,’ she tells us.”
— quoted from “Green Oil” in Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes
As I mentioned over the last two weeks, some people celebrate the Lunar New Year for a handful of days and then go back to their regular routines. For some, however, there’s the Spring Festival: a 15-day celebration that culminates with the Lantern Festival. The Lantern Festival takes place on the first full moon of the Lunar New Year (which was Wednesday night in 2025). One of the traditional customs turns the event into something similar to modern-day Valentine’s Day. Traditionally, women would write their contact information on oranges and then toss the oranges in the river where men would scoop them up. Then, the men would eat the oranges. A sweet orange meant the couple could potential have a good relationship, but a bitter orange meant the match was best avoided.
The oranges in the river make for a pretty sight, but that’s not the main focus of the Lantern Festival — nor is it the most spectacular. In fact, weather permitting, anyone observing areas celebrating the Lantern Festival would primarily notice cities, towns, and villages adorned in red lanterns and lit up… almost like everything is on fire.
There are several different legends associated with the Lantern Festival. In one story, the Emperor Ming of the Eastern Han Dynasty wanted every person in every class to honor the Buddha as the monks would on the fifteenth day of the year. According to another story, Dongfang Shuo (a scholar and court jester) came upon a homesick maiden from the palace. To console her and lift her out of her despair, he told the young lady that he would reunite her with her family. Then he dressed up like a fortune teller and told everyone who came to his stall that they must beg the “red fairy” for mercy on the thirteenth day of the new year. If they didn’t ask for mercy, everything would burn down in a couple of days.
When the maiden, Yuan Xiao, appeared all dressed in red, people flocked to her. The only thing the surprised maiden could think to do was say that she would take a message to the emperor. Of course, Dongfang had already “tricked” the emperor and convinced him to tell Yuan Xiao to make her trademarked sweet-rice dumplings called tangyuan, because they were the favorite dessert of the God of Fire.
The whole town, and people from surrounding towns, came together to make the dumplings as a tribute to the God of Fire. As word spread, more people came — including Yuan Xiao’s family. And this is why Dongfang Shuo’s plan was so clever: In Chinese, the dumplings are 湯圓 or 汤圆 (pinyin: tāngyuán), which sounds like 團圓 or 团圆 (pinyin: tuányuán), which means “union”. While the round dumplings are enjoyed at a variety of events and festivals throughout the year, they are a staple during the Lantern Festival, which is actually 元宵節 or 元宵节 (pinyin: Yuánxiāo jié) — Yuan Xiao’s Festival.
“‘When you see it, it’ll affect you profoundly…’”
— Wang De quoted in the Feb. 19, 2019, The Strait Times article entitled “Blacksmiths keep alive the flame of China’s molten steel ‘fireworks’”
There are more variations on this theme, but the legend with which I am most familiar, and the one I share in the practice, is the story of the Jade Emperor and his favorite bird, a crane. This crane was beautiful and unlike any other bird or species. In some stories, the ruler of heaven and earth decided to treat people with a glimpse of the exotic bird. In other versions of the story, the crane got discombobulated and flew close to the earth. Either way, what happened next is why we can’t have nice things: Someone shot the exotic bird.
The Jade Emperor was furious and decided to send down fire breathing dragons to destroy the towns and villages. However, the Jade Emperor’s daughter warned the townsfolk and someone suggested that if they lit lanterns, started bonfires, and set off fireworks, the dragons — who are not very smart in these stories – would think everything was already on fire. The trick worked… on the dragons. The Jade Emperor was not tricked, but his anger had passed and he decided to offer a little compassion to the people on Earth.
To this day, people carry on the tradition of lighting up the skies. Traditionally, lanterns are made of paper, wooden, or jade. Some people will spend months designing and creating delicate lanterns that they will enter into competitions. Other people will make simple lanterns or purchase fancy store-bought lanterns. In addition to the plethora of basic red lanterns, there will also be animal-shaped lanterns — the most popular of which are in the shape of the animal of the year. Many of the lanterns will have riddles at the bottom — which adds to the fun, because if you know the answer to the riddle you can go find it’s owner and they will give you tangyuan (those sweet dumplings that sound like “union”) as a reward.
In addition to the lanterns, there are bonfires, fireworks, and a 300-plus years old tradition called Da Shuhua.
Da Shuhua is one of the English spellings for 打树花 (dǎshùhuā in pinyin), which is a 300-500 years old tradition handed down through families of blacksmiths in China´s northern Hebei province. It is sometimes referred to as the poor man’s fireworks, because it is produced from scrap metal that people in the remote village of Nuanquan give to the local blacksmiths. Dressed in straw hats, sheepskin jackets, and protective eyewear, the blacksmiths and their assistants melt down the scraps and then the blacksmiths throw the molten liquid up against a cold stone wall. When the liquid metal — which can reach up to 2,900 degrees Fahrenheit (1,600 degrees Celsius) — hits the cold wall, sparks fly.
The spectacular display looks like a blossoming tree and so the name of the art form translates into English as “beating tree flowers”. Although there are a few other places in China where this art form is showcased, it is traditional to Nuanquan. There is a square in the remote village (“Tree Flower Square”), which was specifically built to hold tourists who travel to the village to see the display. In addition to three days of performances at the end of the Spring Festival, the tradition is also performed during the Dragon Boat Festival. Also called Double Fifth Festival, this second event takes place on the fifth day of the fifth month of the Lunar New Year (May 31st in 2025).
Although UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization) designated Da Shuhua as a prime example of China and Hebei province’s intangible cultural heritage, the tradition may be dying out. In 2019, there were only four blacksmiths trained in the art form and the youngest was 50 years old. Wang De, one of the four, had trained his youngest son; however, like so many of the younger generations, his son moved to the big city and started working in a different industry. His concerns, and hopes, for his legacy are not unlike those of his ancestors.
“‘It’s extremely dangerous and it doesn’t make much money,’ said Wang, who also farms corn to supplement his blacksmith’s income.
[…] Still, Wang De is hopeful he will return to keep the flame alive.
‘When we no longer can pull this off, people can learn from him. I have this confidence that (Da Shuhua) will be passed on.’”
— quoted from the Feb. 19, 2019, The Strait Times article entitled “Blacksmiths keep alive the flame of China’s molten steel ‘fireworks’”
Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “Lantern Festival 2023”]
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
“But we can see the past, though we may not claim to have directed it; and seeing it, in this case, we feel more hopeful and confident for the future.
The world has never had a good definition of the word liberty, and the American people, just now, are much in want of one. We all declare for liberty; but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing. With some the word liberty may mean for each man to do as he pleases with himself, and the product of his labor; while with others the same word may mean for some men to do as they please with other men, and the product of other men’s labor. Here are two, not only different, but incompatible things, called by the same name—liberty. And it follows that each of the things is, by the respective parties, called by two different and incompatible names—liberty and tyranny.
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep’s throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty, especially as the sheep was a black one. Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of the word liberty; and precisely the same difference prevails to-day among us human creatures, even in the North, and all professing to love liberty. Hence we behold the processes by which thousands are daily passing from under the yoke of bondage, hailed by some as the advance of liberty, and bewailed by others as the destruction of all liberty.”
— from an address at a “Sanitary Fair” on April 18, 1864 in Baltimore, Maryland by President Abraham Lincoln (b. 02/12/1809)
*RIDDLE NOTE: The riddles at the bottom (or sometimes underneath) the lanterns, are literally called “riddles written on lanterns”, but are sometimes referred to as “tiger riddles”, because solving them (in Chinese) is akin to wrestling a tiger. They often have three parts: the riddle, a hint or suggestion (which is that the answer is in the post and in the practice), and the answer. In this case, I took a page from Dongfang Shuo’s book and only gave you part of an English riddle so that instead of having one definite answer, there are three possible answers. Highlight the space between the hashtags for the answers.
### The moon (which is the original answer), a bit of history you didn’t know, and a legend from a culture with which you are unfamiliar. A habit, was CS’s very clever suggestion in 2025! Let me know if you got the answer(s)! ###
All The Power of Kindness to the nth Degree (the “missing” Wednesday post) November 13, 2024
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Art, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Dharma, Donate, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Karma Yoga, Life, Loss, Love, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Poetry, Science, Suffering, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Tragedy, Volunteer, Wisdom, Yin Yoga, Yoga.Tags: #mettaworldpeace, 988, Ahmed Merabet, anger, Charlie Hebdo, Duran Duran, Eagles of Death Metal, emotions, energy, Florence + the Machine, Frank Turner, Frustration, Jackie DeShannon, Jesse Nathaniel Hughes, Jimmy Holiday, kindness, King Straggler, loving-kindness, lovingkindness, Mark Ramos Nishita, Matthew Carden, Metta, Metta Sandiford-Artest, Metta World Peace, Paris France, Paul Grilley, Randy Myers, Sarah Powers, Save the Children, Sweet Stuff Foundation, vedanā, vibration, World Kindness Day, Yoga Sutra 2.33
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone expressing kindness, friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom.
It’s World Kindness Day! Be nice to yourself and let the kindness ripple out from there!
This is the “missing” post for Wednesday, November 13th. There is a reference to a terrorist attacks in 2015. There is also a note indicating how you can skip that part. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).
Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.
“In Chinese medicine, the emotions are simply an expression of chi and are not considered good or bad. It is less important which emotions are present and more about whether they are able to flow without impediment, whether they are blocked or repressed. Every prolonged disturbing emotion affects the [health] of our organs and meridians, and every imbalance in our organ-meridian system is tied to a propensity for certain emotions.”
— quoted from the “Emotional Qualities” section of “6. The Kidneys and Urinary Bladder” in Insight Yoga by Sarah Powers (Forward by Paul Grilley, Photography by Matthew Carden)
Just as we did throughout this last week, take a moment to bring awareness to how you are feeling and then breathe into how you are feeling. Many people have a tendency to place a value judgement on their feelings; however, in many Eastern philosophies (like Yoga and Buddhism), everything is recognized as a manifestation of energy — including our emotions.
It can sometimes be helpful to sit with our emotions, breathe into them, and maybe even name them. We might tell ourselves (or others) the story behind them. But, part of this practice is about noticing how our emotions change. In some of the Eastern philosophies (and their accompanying sciences and practices), emotions can have a “near peer” (what is classically referred to in some Buddhist traditions as a “near enemy”) as well as an “opposite”, or two (what is classically referred to in some Buddhist traditions as a “far enemy”). This particular practice highlights the idea of emotions and their opposites — with a particular focus on lovingkindness, which is the opposite of anger/frustration.
“Studies have found that acts of kindness are linked to increased feelings of well-being. Kindness has also been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood.”
— quoted from the “Celebrating World Kindness Day 2024 with Save the Children” on the Save the Children website
November 13th is World Kindness Day. Established in 1998, by the World Kindness Movement, a coalition of non-governmental organizations (NGOs) from around the world, this day is an opportunity to express kindness; highlight good deeds; and focus on the goodness that can be found around the world. It is a day to look beyond trivialities that separate us and focus on the things that unite us.
Some organizations use World Kindness Day to highlight the “Significance” of kindness and how it can cultivate more harmony in the world. For example, Save the Children focuses on the connection between kindness and a child’s ability to be “physically and emotionally healthy and intellectually curious” with their World Kindness Day theme: “The Importance of Kindness in Child Development”.
“So before you go out searching
Don’t decide what you will find
Be more kind, my friends
Try to be more kind
You should know you’re not alone
And that trouble comes, and trouble goes”
— quoted from the song “Be More Kind” by Frank Turner
There are formal/official events around the world, but you can celebrate kindness (today or any day) in really simple ways. You can offer someone a hug and/or a remind that they are not alone. You can remind someone (even yourself) that “this too shall pass”. You could do something nice for yourself and/or someone you love. For instance, you could listen to someone who is having a hard time. You could just hold the door or the elevator for someone in a rush. Another way to observe is to volunteer and/or make a donation. You could also perform a random act of kindness for someone you have never met and will never meet. Remember, a little kindness can go a long way and it doesn’t have to cost you anything.
Consider that being nice can benefit you and the people around. Just think of a really challenging moment, a moment when you are angry and/or frustrated. Now, consider how the energy in the room can shift when you do doing something nice — for yourself or the person with whom you are sharing the challenging experience. For that matter, consider how your mood shifts when you do something nice for someone not connected to your anger and frustration. This is one of the ways we can cultivate the opposites.
Yoga Sūtra 2.33: vitarkabādhane pratipakṣabhāvanam
— “When these codes of self-regulation or restraint (yamas) and observances or practices of self-training (niyamas) are inhibited from being practiced due to perverse, unwholesome, troublesome, or deviant thoughts, principles in the opposite direction, or contrary thought should be cultivated.”
There are times when it can be particularly challenging to be wise and skillful. There are times, as Patanjali pointed out in the Yoga Sūtras, when we may not be practicing the philosophy (or have not practiced long enough for it’s principles to be a habit). For instance, we might be in a state of panic, because someone is committing an act of terrorism.
You may skip to the next highlighted quote.
In 2015, Paris experienced several terrorist attacks. Early in the year, two terrorists attacked the headquarters of Charlie Hebdo, a weekly satirical magazine. Many people were injured. Twelve people were killed, including Ahmed Merabet, a 42-year old police officer. For weeks afterwards, there was more death and more terror — some coming in the form of retaliation against people who were perceived as being similar to the terrorists (because of their perceived religion, race, and/or ethnicity).
For weeks afterwards, there was also kindness: In a show of solidarity, people around the world proclaimed, “Je suis Charlie” and “Je suis Ahmed” (“I am Charlie” and “I am Ahmed”).
Fast forward to November 13, 2015, when three groups of terrorists coordinated attacks outside the Stade de France in Saint-Denis (a northern suburb of Paris); at a series of cafés and restaurants in Paris; and at the Bataclan theatre in Paris. The stadium was full of fans attending an international football match; the cafés and restaurants were crowded; and the theatre was hosting a sold-out concert. In fact, Eagles of Death Metal, an American rock band, had just started playing a song from their 2004 album, Peace, Love, Death Metal. Approximately 416 people were injured and 130 were killed, including 90 at the Bataclan. One of the people killed at the theatre was 36-year old Nick Alexander, who had been selling merchandise for Eagles of Death Metal. As is always the case with terrorism, some of the injuries are on the inside. At least three people later died by suicide that resulted from PTSD related to the attacks.
The kindness that followed the attacks came in a lot of different forms, including musical forms. Proceeds from Eagles of Death Metal’s cover of the Duran Duran song “Save a Prayer” were donated to charity. Josh Homme, the drummer for Eagles of Death Metal (EOD), encouraged other musicians to cover the EOD song “I Love You All the Time” — with proceeds from those covers going to victims of the attack by way of the 501(c)(3) Sweet Stuff Foundation.
“Ah dis-moi pourquoi
Ah dis-moi pourquoi
Ah dis-moi pourquoi”
— quoted from the end of the song “I Love You All the Time” by Eagles of Death Metal (written by Jesse Nathaniel Hughes / Mark Ramos Nishita)
NOTE: The final French lyrics can be translated into English as “Oh tell me why” (3x)
We all witness people come together during great tragedies. But, sometimes we forget that there is always someone watching to see how we deal with any challenging situations and emotions. The children of the world are always watching us.
Just as it is important to remember that we can come together on any given day, it is important to remember that people are watching to see if/when we do — and how we do it. World Kindness Day is as good time as any to remember that we can all set an example for the children around us. This is true even if we are not parents; even if we are not teachers.
This is true even if we are not always perfect and wise. For example, in 2011, a professional basketball player, who was born today in 1979, legally changed his name to Metta World Peace — which translates to Lovingkindness World Peace. Now known as Metta Sandiford-Artest, a surname that combines his birth surname and his wife’s surname, he said that he made the initial change “to inspire and bring youth together all around the world”.
“Think of your fellow man
Lend him a helping hand
Put a little love in your heart
You see it’s getting late
Oh, please don’t hesitate
Put a little love in your heart”
— quoted from the song “Put a Little Love in Your Heart” by Jackie DeShannon, covered by Eagles of Death Metal (written by Jackie De Shannon / Jimmy Holiday / Randy Myers)
Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “11132024 All The Power of Kindness to the nth Degree”]
This cover is not (yet) on the playlist.
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).