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FTWMI: A Quick Note & Excerpt About Breathing and…. October 26, 2025

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Art, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Donate, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Karma Yoga, Life, Meditation, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Vipassana, Volunteer, Wisdom, Yoga.
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone cultivating friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom on Intersex Awareness Day.

May everyone be healthy and strong; may everyone be peaceful and happy; and may everyone recognize their whole self.

For Those Who Missed It: The following was originally posted in 2024. Class details have been updated.

“[A monk] then applies this perception to his own body thus: ‘Verily, also my own body is of the same nature; such it will become and will not escape it.’

Thus he lives contemplating the body in the body internally, or he lives contemplating the body in the body externally, or he lives contemplating the body in the body internally and externally. He lives contemplating origination-factors in the body, or he lives contemplating dissolution factors in the body, or he lives contemplating origination-and-dissolution-factors in the body. Or his mindfulness is established with the thought: ‘The body exists,’ to the extent necessary just for knowledge and mindfulness, and he lives detached, and clings to nothing in the world. Thus also, monks, a monk lives contemplating the body in the body.”

— quoted from Satipatthana Sutta (The Foundations of Mindfulness) translated by Nyanasatta Thera

Prāņāyāma — the awareness of breath (and the extension of breath) — is a big part of the physical practice of yoga (haṭha yoga, regardless of the style or tradition). As we bring awareness to our breath, on and off the mat, we may start to notice the things that take our breath away. We can experience things that take our breath away because they are surprising and beautiful. We can experience things that take our breath away because they are surprising and terrifying. Then there are things that take our breath away because they are just surprising, unexpected….

We may rush to qualify them with some adjective or another and, in doing so, rush to some conclusion about what we need to do… when, really, we just need to breathe (that’s today’s first step); recognize what is (that’s today’s second step); and repeat the first two steps (that’s the third step).

CLICK ON THE EXCERPT TITLE BELOW FOR THE RELATED POST (& VIDEO).

For Those Who Missed It: Third Step: Repeat the First & Second Steps

“Myth 2: Being intersex is very rare


According to experts, around 1.7% of the population is born with intersex traits – comparable to the number of people born with red hair.”

— quoted from the Amnesty International article “Its Intersex Awareness Day – here are 5 myths we need to shatter”

October 26th is Intersex Awareness Day, which highlights and raises awareness about human rights issues faced by intersex people. It also raises awareness around the fact that there are people — all around the world — who are born with one or more sex characteristics that “do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies.” According to the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, these characteristics include chromosome patterns, gonads, and/or genitalia.

While there may be just as many people in the world with red hair as there are people in the world with intersex traits, the latter are not as easy to spot. Estimates on how many people are born with intersex traits may vary (depending on the traits and/or conditions) from 3% to 0.0009%. Aside from the fact that I’m referencing statistics related to over 40 intersex conditions, the wide variation in estimates is related to the fact that some people are not initially identified (medically) as intersex. Additionally, some people may never be identified as intersex. Lack of diagnosis can be the result of something relatively small — like the fact that a baby’s chromosome patterns (and/or gonads) are not typically tested. However, lack of diagnosis can also be the result of something fairly major — like the fact that sex (and gender) are typically assigned at birth based on the external appearance of a baby’s genitals.

And, here’s the kicker: If a baby’s genitalia appears ambiguous (to a medical practitioner) and/or atypical, a common practice has been to surgically alter the genitalia. Sometimes, even a baby’s internal sex organs (gonads) will be altered. Again, these surgeries and medical treatments happen to babies, as well as to children and young adults, who are too young to consent and/or may not be informed about their options. Sometimes, even their parents are not informed!

Medical attitudes and practices related to people with intersex characteristics are changing, in part because of people like Morgan Holmes and Max Beck, who both participated in the first public demonstration of intersex people (and their allies) in North America, today in 1996. Dr. Holmes (a Canadian sociologist) and Mr. Beck (who died in of cancer in 2008) attended the American Academy of Pediatrics annual conference in Boston, Massachusetts, with the intention of delivering a presentation on the long-term outcomes of “fixing” intersex infants through cosmetic surgery. However, they were met with what they described as “hostility” and escorted out of the venue. They later returned, outside of the venue, to demonstrate and advocate for better medical awareness. In 2003/2004, Betsy Driver (who was mayor of Flemington, New Jersey, January 2, 2019 – January 3, 2023) and artist and activist Emi Koyama organized the first official Intersex Awareness Day on the anniversary of that first public protest. Since then, people like Morgan Carpenter and Laura Inter have advocated for self-determination, while also providing peer support and education for and about people who have intersex traits.

For the next two weeks — up until November 8th, which is Intersex Day of Remembrance (also known as Intersex Solidarity Day) — grassroots organizations around the world will host events related to intersex visibility. Some of these events will be celebrations and opportunities for networking. Some of these events will be moments of reflection and remembrance. Some of these events will be all about political action and advocacy. All of these events will be about putting an “end [to] shame, secrecy and unwanted genital cosmetic surgeries on intersex children.”

“The flag is comprised of a golden yellow field, with a purple circle emblem. The colours and circle don’t just avoid referencing gender stereotypes, like the colours pink and blue, they seek to completely avoid use of symbols that have anything to do with gender at all. Instead the circle is unbroken and unornamented, symbolising wholeness and completeness, and our potentialities. We are still fighting for bodily autonomy and genital integrity, and this symbolises the right to be who and how we want to be.”

— quoted from the creator statement entitled “The intersex flag” by Morgan Carpenter, PhD. 

Please join me today (Sunday, October 26th) at 2:30 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra     (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Sunday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10272020 Pranayama II”]

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).

Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.

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Biographies of People Who Have Always Been Here, PRIDE edition (the “missing” Sunday post) June 29, 2025

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, First Nations, Gratitude, Healing Stories, Hope, Life, Love, Mathematics, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Poetry, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Wisdom, Yoga.
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Happy Pride! Many blessings to everyone!!

This is a “missing” post for Sunday, June 29th. This post includes passing references to sex, gender, sexuality, and to incidents of terrorism and of homophobia. Also, note that at least one of the embedded links directs you to YouTube. My gratitude for your patience if you came to the Zoom practice and my apologies for not posting this earlier. You can request an audio recording of this practice or a previous practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra   (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).

Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.

“Now you cannot change this
You can’t erase this
You can’t pretend this is not the truth”

— quoted from the song “Tuesday Morning” by Melissa Etheridge (written by Melissa Etheridge and Jonathan Taylor)

Since this is the last weekend of June, some people are celebrating PRIDE (and some people who are celebrating PRIDE are also bringing awareness to men’s mental health, since June is dedicated to both). I mentioned, yesterday, that this year hits / feels different to me because the days and dates coincide exactly with the Stonewall Uprising in 1969. So, obviously, I shared bits of PRIDE’s backstory and offered a brief history of the Stonewall Inn and the Stonewall Uprising — which included gay people, lesbians, bisexual people, transgender people, queer (and questioning) people, intersex people, asexual people (ace), aromantic people (aro), demi-sexual people, non-binary people, and a whole lot of other people. My catch-all “a whole lot of other people” includes straight people; because, allies have always been part of PRIDE.

Sadly, haters — in all categories — have also always been part of the story.

And there’s the other reason this year hits hard for a lot of people: because there are people in power who want to strip people within the LGBTQIA+ community of their civil rights, their humanity, their identity, their history, their hope, and their joy. While, a lot of people get distracted (positively and negatively) by the PARTY that is PRIDE, aspects of PRIDE have always been about maintaining / retaining civil rights and humanity as well as giving people an opportunity to define themselves while also sharing history, hope, and joy.

So today, as this month’s PRIDE celebrations are coming to a close, I wanted to go a little deeper into the history and share the true stories of some people you may not know were/are in the community. 

“It was a rebellion, it was an uprising, it was a civil rights disobedience – it wasn’t no damn riot!”

— Stormé DeLarverie

Just to clarify, I talk about people within the LGBTQIA+ community throughout the year. Sometimes, I mention their sexuality and/or their identity; but, sometimes I don’t — because, honestly, it’s often the least interesting thing about the people I highlight throughout the year. The same can be said about the people I am highlighting today. In most cases, their identity and/or sexuality is only notable because of the times in which the lived (and often thrived, despite the sociopolitical climate in which they lived).

So, why not highlight these people throughout the year?

Honestly, there’s just too many things and people I would like to highlight.

Some of these people I’ve struggled to figure out days when I can squeeze them all in. This year, this became the day (because of the last person I am highlighting).

“So what do we do when they say our love is forbidden
And what if I don’t wanna pray our love is forgiven
I’m willing to fight every day of life that I’m given
You’re a rule that I’m willing to break
An exception I’m willing to make
You’re a risk that I’m willing to take”

— quoted from the song “Forbidden” by Todrick Hall, featuring Jade Novah & Keala Settle (written by Carl Seante Mcgrier, Jean-yves G. Ducornet, Todrick Dramaul Hall, Kofi A. Owusi-ofori) 

Most of the people on today’s list are people I have never mentioned in class (or on the blog). However, the first person I highlighted is someone I have referenced — in passing — over the years. Her name is Tam O’Shaughnessy, PhD (b. January 27, 1952). She is a science teacher and an associate professor emeritus of school psychology, who researched preventive interventions for children with reading difficulties — which I find super interesting, as someone who loves to read (and is also interested in how the brain works). She is also a former professional tennis player (who played in the U.S. National Championships, now known as the U.S. Open, in 1966, 1970, and 1972.

Dr. O’Shaughnessy is the author of 12 science books for children — 6 of which she wrote with the astronaut Sally Ride, who was her life partner for 27 years. In addition to writing together, the couple co-founded the science education company Sally Ride Science at University of California, San Diego (along with Karen Flammer, Terry McEntee, and Alann Lopes).

“Gladstone calls herself ‘queer’, ‘pansexual’ and ‘straight’. ‘I can’t put a label on it,’ she says. ‘One of the big things that tipped me to my queerness is I don’t have the draw to motherhood the way a lot of women have. There was a period of my life when I thought I might be asexual because I had no sexual attraction to anybody. I had a romantic attraction to everybody but no sexual desire. Then the word “demisexual” came into play, where it’s, like, I don’t feel sexual stirring at all unless I actually care about this person, no matter who they are.’ That’s a better fit, she thinks, although she won’t say if she has a partner.”

— quoted from the April 25 2025, The Times article, entitled “Lily Gladstone: queer, pansexual or straight? I might be demisexual — The star of Killers of the Flower Moon talks about her new comedy Wedding Banquet, defining her sexuality and hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio” by Ed Potton

Lily Gladstone (born August 2, 1986) is an actress who was raised on the Blackfeet reservation. She is of Piegan Blackfeet, Nez Perce, and European heritage and her ancestors include a Kainai Nation chief (Red Crow) and a British Prime Minister (William Ewart Gladstone). She is the first Native American to win the Golden Globe Award for Best Actress in Motion Picture Drama and the first Native American to be nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress.

To me, what is even more interesting than their awards, is the fact that they taught an image theatre acting method where the actor/sculptor molds the actors/statues through touch. This “sculpture garden”, as they called it, was part of a violence prevention program sponsored by the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center.

And, yes, I switched pronouns on you, which might be interesting when you consider the context — and the reminder that Two Spirit people (not to mention Muxe and other indigenous people who are gender non-conforming, by our modern/Western ideas) existed on this continent long before there was a United States of America (or even a set of European colonies).

“‘And in most Native languages, most Indigenous languages, Blackfeet included, there are no gendered pronouns. There is no he/she, there’s only they,’ Gladstone adds.”

“‘So Blackfeet, we don’t have gendered pronouns, but our gender is implied in our name. But even that’s not binary,’ says Gladstone….” 

“‘So, yeah, my pronoun use is partly a way of decolonizing gender for myself.’”

— Lily Gladstone, quoted from the December 31, 2023, People article, entitled “Lily Gladstone on Why She Uses She/They Pronouns: A Way of ‘Decolonizing Gender for Myself’” by Eric Andersson

The musician Melody McKiver, who is featured on the playlist, is a member of the Obishikokaan Luc Seul First Nations, who shared similar sentiments in the April 12, 2017 ICT News interview “Great Videos and Music from 8 Indigenous LGBTIA and/or Two Spirit Musicians” by DeLesslin George-Warren, stating:

“‘Fundamentally, everything in my body of work is a part of my work as a 2S musician because it’s who I am’”

We like to put people in narrow boxes, but most people are not one thing. We are multifaceted and every bit of light is part of the whole. In that way, we are like a rainbow: people may see different things about us on the outside, but what shines through is coming from the same source.

Rainbows, as a symbol, show up in the world in a lot of different ways and they showed up in my childhood in multiple ways. They are a symbol of hope in the Abrahamic religions and, throughout my childhood, they also popped up as a symbol of people from different racial and ethnic backgrounds coming together to fight for equality (here in the United States and in South Africa). Finally, there was that myth about a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Growing up, that leprechaun’s gold was Romantic and symbolized success and the life of one’s dreams. To me, doing what you love, loving what you do, and being successful is like finding the gold — which means we are all “chasing rainbows”. Just like Alice Anderson.

Alice Anderson (born June 8, 1897) was the founder and owner of Miss Anderson’s Motor Service (Kew Garage), the first all-women garage in Australia. She also wrote a regular motoring column for Woman’s World and once drove the smallest car in the world across the Never Never. While anyone could use the services of Miss Anderson’s garage — services that included full auto repair, chauffeuring, interstate touring trips, driving classes, and petrol stations — Alice Anderson only hired women as mechanics and professional drivers. Like those in her employment, Miss Anderson not only worked in a male-dominated industry, she wore breeches, suits, and ties.

It’s important to remember that people’s concepts of what is gender-conforming is different in different cultures and can change (within a culture) over time. For example, there was a time when “a proper man” in some European cultures wore stockings, wigs, and painted their face (as well as their nails). Similarly, Alice Anderson lived in a time and place where the things she liked to do (and the clothes she liked to wear) were, on a certain level, acceptable. Of course, that didn’t stop her mother (who was born and bred in Ireland) from disapproving of her career and life choices.

Neither did it stop Alice from inspiring generation after generation of drivers, mechanics, and entrepreneurs.

“An LGBTQ advocacy group has taken the name Alice’s Garage, and Anderson’s tie pin, engraved with same Joan of Arc-inspired motto that was stamped on her business cards—‘Qui ne risque, rien n’a rien,’ or ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained,’— is on permanent display at the National Motor Museum in Birdwood, South Australia.”

— quoted from “Founder of Australia’s First All-Women Garage Alice Anderson 1897–1926” by Briohny Doyle, published in Overlooked: A Celebration of Remarkable, Underappreciated People Who Broke the Rules and Changed the World by Amisha Padnani and the [New York Times] Obituaries Desk

Inspiration is one of the reasons that representation matters; because it is hard to believe you can do something if you haven’t seen anyone like you do anything remotely like the thing you want to do. Without representation, certain things can feel “impossible”.

Just consider, for a moment, that there is a young ventriloquist who is very popular in this day and age. She has blond hair, blue eyes, and is sweet as a button. She looks and sounds like a southern belle, In other words, she fits some people’s stereotype of classic femininity. In interviews, she has mentioned being inspired by a particular male ventriloquist and, if you are of a certain age, maybe you can only think of a handful of male ventriloquist. However, there are some women who became famous as ventriloquist — including Terri Rogers (born May 4, 1937).

Terri Rogers and her doll, Shorty Harris, toured the world and even appeared on the HBO special Blockheads. She was also a magician — although, when it came to magic, she is remembered more for the illusions she crafted from people like David Copperfield and Paul Daniels.

Her comedy could be shocking and bawdy (the doll’s name was Cockney slang for “short arse” after all), but could also be cleaned up for shows like the ones she did at NATO headquarters.  What really stood out for people, though, was the way she made you forget that she was acting and that she was also the doll. Then there was her voice. People were often struck by Terri Rogers’s her incredible vocal range. What most of those people didn’t know was that she was transgender. 

“[Terri] Roger’s partner, the magician Val Andrews, once wrote that she remembered the comedian Jimmy Wheeler admonishing her audience: ‘Blimey, you don’t realize what you’ve seen and heard!’”

— quoted from “Transgender Ventriloquist and Magician Terri Rogers 1937–1999” by Jeanne Thornton, published in Overlooked: A Celebration of Remarkable, Underappreciated People Who Broke the Rules and Changed the World by Amisha Padnani and the [New York Times] Obituaries Desk

Terri Rogers wasn’t the first (nor the last) to perform in clothes typically associated with a different sex or gender from the one they were assigned at birth. There is a difference, however, between someone who dresses and/or performs in drag and someone who is transgender (who might also perform in drag). Consider many (if not most) actors have appeared in drag. Similarly, many politicians have dressed in drag — which makes some of them hypocrites, but that’s another story for another day.

While drag queens get a lot of attention (just as there is a lot of focus on transgender women), there are drag kings (just as there are transgender men). But, again, there is a difference. Of course, when we look back at people in history, it can be hard to tell sometimes if someone was performing in drag, transgender, or both.

For example, Gladys Bentley (born August 12, 1907) was one of the most famous entertainers of the Harlem Renaissance. Poets like Langston Hughes and Countee Cullen sang her praises. If you’re thinking, “Wait a minute, how can someone be so famous and I’ve never heard of them?” Well, she was a Black, gay/lesbian person who mostly performed sang, danced, and played the piano in a top hat and tails. She referred to herself as a woman and yet she is quoted as saying that she didn’t feel like a woman. In fact, she felt more comfortable in men’s clothes and, when necessity required it, she presented as a man.

The thing about Gladys Bentley is that she was focused on survival at a young age. She ran away from home at 16 years old — after what was essentially 16 years of rejection from most of her family members — and she got her first job as an entertainer, because she presented as a man. Later, as the government changed and laws changed, she forced herself to wear a dress to perform (and even married a man, after claiming she had married a woman). But, Gladys Bentley wasn’t as successful as an entertainer wearing dresses as she was wearing pants.

Maybe, because she wasn’t comfortable in the dresses, because she didn’t feel like herself.

“Scholars who have studied [Gladys] Bentley’s life said that the story Bentley told about being ‘cured’ in the Ebony article [‘I Am A Woman Again’, written in 1952] was likely a response to the McCarthy Era and its hostile claims that homosexuality and communism were threats to the country. [Jim] Wilson also says that Bentley, who was aging and no stranger to reinvention, was likely making deft use of the press. ‘I like to believe that Gladys Bentley had her thumb on the pulse of the time. She knew what was popular, what she could do, and what people would pay to see,’ he says.”

— quoted from the March 14, 2019 “Women Who Shaped History: A Smithsonian magazine special report” entitled “The Great Blues Singer Gladys Bentley Broke All the Rules: For the Smithsonian’s Sidedoor podcast, host Haleema Shah tells the story of an unapologetically gay African-American performer in 1920s and 30s” by Haleema Shah

The next person on the list is the second person that I sometimes mention is passing: Marsha P. Johnson, one of the people who was at Stonewall on June 28-29, 1969. She was a transgender, gay rights activist who also worked as a prostitute and (occasionally) performed in drag. While she battled with mental health issues and was often homeless, she seemed tireless when working on behalf of homeless youth and/or advocating for the healthcare of people with HIV and AIDS.

Since “transgender” was not a widely used term during much of her lifetime, Marsha P. Johnson used women’s pronouns and “referred to herself as gay, as a transvestite, or simply as a queen” (according to her Overlooked obituary written by Sewell Chan). People have describe Marsha P. Johnson as fierce and fearless and people also remember her for her grace, her whimsical nature, and her joy for life. She was all that… and a bag of chips.

Or, er, peaches.

“Johnson was also part of a drag performance group, Hot Peaches, which began performing in 1972. She told anyone who asked—including, once, a judge— that her middle initial stood for ‘pay it no mind.’ The surname came from a Howard Johnson’s restaurant where she liked to hang out.”

— quoted from “Transgender Pioneer and Activist 1945–1992” by Sewell Chan, published in Overlooked: A Celebration of Remarkable, Underappreciated People Who Broke the Rules and Changed the World by Amisha Padnani and the [New York Times] Obituaries Desk

Just in passing (since I’m about to quote them), I want to mention the Wachowski Sisters. Lana (born June 21, 1965) and Lilly (December 29, 1967) Wachowski are writers, directors, and producers who co-created the Matrix franchise as well as V for Vendetta (2005) and live-action Speed Racer (2008). In addition to movies and television, the siblings have also collaborated on comic books and video games. With regarded to their gender identity, they have repeatedly stated that the original Matrix (1999) movie was an allegory about how we consume information and how we form identity and understanding based on our consumption of media — and, in particular, how a person’s outward identity may or may not reflect the inward experience (and vice versa). In other words, it’s a transgender allegory that is also about waking up to reality — something a lot of people seem to have missed.

“Morpheos [to Neo]: …Remember: all I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more.”

— quoted from the 1999 movie The Matrix written and directed by The Wachowskis

While we are on the subject of gender identity, it’s important to remember that sex and gender (as well as gender expression) are not the same things (and not the same for everyone). Again, different countries and cultures have different expectations around sex and gender and individuals have individual experiences. Someone can be female, be a cisgender woman, and present in a very feminine (girly way) and/or in a very masculine way — simply based on what feels good and how they think they look — and they may not get the side or a double take. This is also true for other people; however, it can be more challenging for someone who is a cisgender man to present as feminine in some places.

More to the point, however, there are people who can now be identified by Western science as intersex, which is an umbrella term to describe a variety of people whose sex characteristics — including chromosome patterns, gonads, or genitals — “do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies”. (NOTE: The fact that Western science is constantly evolving means that there might come a day when doctors pinpoint a reason some people are transgender.)

Here, again, if you have heard of someone (on the news, on social media, or even in a book) who is intersex, there is a good chance that it was an athlete like Caster Semenya (born January 7, 1991) who, for most of her life, did not know she could be medically diagnosed as intersex. You may not, however, have heard of someone like the John Kenley (born February 20, 1906) whose atypical sex organs were identified at birth, but whose parents decided his life would be easier as a man than as a woman. Even though he was baptized in the Russian Orthodox church as a boy and served in the Merchant Marines during World War II, the American theatre producer (of Slovakian descent) never really felt comfortable as a man and reportedly spent his downtime living as a woman named Joan. 

John Kenley may not have been comfortable in his own skin, but he was successful. He revolutionized summer stock by inviting celebrities (specifically television and movie stars) to star in live theatre productions. He was also the first theatre producer to desegregate a theatre in Washington, D. C.

“The ways in which trans people have been represented have suggested that we’re mentally ill, that we’re that we won’t exist. And yet here we are. And we’ve always been here.”

— Laverne Cox, quoted in the trailer for her 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure: Trans Lives on Screen

During the (live) 2025 class, I inadvertently mixed up some of the details about John Kenley with the details about Alan L. Hart (born October 4, 1890). Also known as Robert Allen Bamford Jr., Dr. Alan Hart was a physician, radiologist, tuberculosis researcher, and writer. He published over nine short stories and four novels and his revolutionary (at the time) use of X-ray photography in tuberculosis detection continues to save innumerable lives.

However, much of what he accomplished professional almost didn’t happen because he was transgender and his medical degree was issued in his birth name (with a note added to his records) — which did not match his outward appearance and effect or his name once he legally changed it.

Alan Hart was one of the first people (in the United States) to receive counseling and surgery (including a hysterectomy) with regard to his gender dysphoria. At the point (in his adulthood) that he medically transitioned, he had lived most of his life as a man and he was fortunate that his family accepted his gender identity at a very young age. He was also fortunate that, for the most part, he was able to be recognized as a boy and then a man throughout his school years. However, he did fear that his prospects were limited because how he appeared on the outside (and felt on the inside) did not match his credentials. 

“Unpopular ideas can be silenced, and inconvenient facts kept dark, without the need for any official ban. Anyone who has lived long in a foreign country will know of instances of sensational items of news — things which on their own merits would get the big headlines-being kept right out of the British press, not because the Government intervened but because of a general tacit agreement that ‘it wouldn’t do’ to mention that particular fact. So far as the daily newspapers go, this is easy to understand. The British press is extremely centralised, and most of it is owned by wealthy men who have every motive to be dishonest on certain important topics. But the same kind of veiled censorship also operates in books and periodicals, as well as in plays, films and radio. At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed that all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to say this, that or the other, but it is ‘not done’ to say it, just as in mid-Victorian times it was ‘not done’ to mention trousers in the presence of a lady. Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with surprising effectiveness. A genuinely unfashionable opinion is almost never given a fair hearing, either in the popular press or in the highbrow periodicals.”

— quoted from an originally unpublished introduction to Animal Farm by George Orwell

Just as there is a difference between sex and gender, there is also a difference between someone’s sex and/or gender and their sexuality. And this is a big point of contention for some folks within the community, who feel like the community is too inclusive and/or has become like a big state whose geographic regions have completely different interests, concerns, and priorities.

And yet, the same people who want to erase transgender people from history (including from the history of Stonewall) are the same people who want to ignore the fact that Bayard Rustin (born March 17, 1912) was a gay rights activist as well as the primary organizer of the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom (in 1963) and the Freedom Rides, as well as one of the organizers of Southern Christian Leadership Conference — all of which provided a platform for the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The same people that made it impossible for Mr. Rustin and his partner, Walter Naegle, to get married want you to ignore the fact that the couple found a creative work around so that could legally be connected and not let their sexuality overshadow their activism.

Those same people don’t want you to know that Tam O’Shaughnessy and Walter Naegle both accepted Presidential Medal of Freedom awards that were posthumously awarded to their late partners in 2013.

Those same people also don’t want you to know that the British mathematician Alan Turing, PhD (born June 23, 1912) was persecuted for being gay — even though his computer and code breaking skills accelerated the end of World War II. Using a computer called the Bombe, Dr. Turing was one of the cryptanalysts charged with deciphering the Enigma code used by Nazi Germany. In doing so, they enabled the Allied forces to evade German submarines. His success meant that he had briefings with then-Prime Minister Winston Churchill and then-President of the United States Franklin D. Roosevelt. He was also the inventor of the Turing Machine and innovations in computing that are still leading to advancements in computer technology.

Now, someone may say that his persecution was really just justice for gross indecency. However, if you look at the details of his case, you will find that Dr. Turing called the police to report a burglar. When it came out he and the other victim in the crime were in a relationship, they were both charged with breaking Section 11 of the United Kingdom’s Criminal Law Amendment Act 1885 (48 & 49 Vict. c. 69). The law, most of which has been repealed, was intended to protect women and girls. Somehow, however, it included a provision that meant a man could be charged and convicted for having a consensual romantic relationship with another man. Note: This law applied to public and private spaces and was not (necessarily) related to sexual intercourse.

In Dr. Alan Turing’s case, his security clearances were revoked, he lost his ability to continue his work with the government, he was barred from traveling to the United States and he had to undergo “chemical castration” — which was basically hormone therapy. While it was not intended to make him sterile, the therapy did make him impotent and caused his breast tissue to grow. Additionally, the British government monitored his correspondence (which he may or may not have known) and deported someone coming to visit him before they could meet.

In 2009, then-Prime Minister Gordon Brown responded to the first in a series of petitions by acknowledging the the travesty of Alan Turing’s situation and offering a formal apology to “Alan and the many thousands of other gay men who were convicted, as he was, under homophobic laws….” There was, however, no pardon. More petitions and letter writing campaigns followed, which led to several bills being presented to Parliament requesting that Alan Turing be pardoned (posthumously). Despite the fact that people in the House of Lords and the House of Commons repeatedly blocked the bills, Queen Elizabeth II signed an immediate pardon for Alan Turing on December 24, 2013 and pronounced it in August 2014. The Policing and Crime Act 2017 includes a a passage referred to as the “Alan Turing law”, which pardons men who were convicted for homosexual acts that are no longer considered criminal offenses.

“44”

— can be police radio code for “suspicious person”, “aggravated kidnapping”, etc. depending on country, region, and department 

In my book, as in many people’s books, Alan Turing was a hero who saved countless lives — and you can’t change that fact. Neither can you change the fact that Mark Bingham, another hero, was gay.

You may or may not know Mark Bingham (born May 22, 1970) by name. You may or may not remember his smile. However, if I mention that he died on Tuesday, September 11, 2001 — and reference United Airlines Flight 93 — you start to get the picture. 

Mr. Bingham was a 6-foot, 4 inches (193 cm) tall, 225-pound (102 kg) rugby player who was interested in filmmaking and worked as a Public Relations executive. He was the owner of the Bingham Group and, since he had just opened up a satellite office in New York, he was planning to put together a rugby team so he could play on both coasts. He was running late that ill-fated Tuesday and almost the flight that was headed to San Francisco, where one of his fraternity brothers was getting married.

Mark Bingham ended up sitting next to Thomas Edward Burnett Jr., who was originally from Bloomington, Minnesota. The PR exec and the vice-president and chief operating officer of a medical devices company weren’t that far apart in age (31 and 38, respectively) and they grew up in different parts of the country. But, they probably could have had a really great conversation during their trip — even though their lives were different in some fairly obvious ways. Mr. Burnett was married and had 4 children (included a daughter he had given up adoption when he was young). Todd Beamer and Jeremy Glick, sitting a few rows back, were also married with children (3 and 1, respectively). On the flip side, Mark Bingham couldn’t legally get married.

Even though their lives were different, when it became obvious that the plane had been hijacked by terrorists and that the hijacking was part of a larger plan, the four men came together and decided to retake the plane. They were the tip of the arrow; Lou Nacke, Rich Guadagno, Alan Beaven, Honor Elizabeth Wainio, Linda Gronlund, and William Cashman, as well as flight attendants Sandra Bradshaw and Cee Cee Ross-Lyles joined in the planning and became the shaft.

The four men were not able to land the plane, but they were able to prevent the hijackers from hitting their intended target — and, in doing so, they saved hundred of lives.

“And the things you might take for granted
Your inalienable rights
Some might choose to deny him
Even though he gave his life
Can you live with yourself in the land of the free
And make him less of a hero than the other three?”

— quoted from the song “Tuesday Morning” by Melissa Etheridge (written by Melissa Etheridge and Jonathan Taylor)

Even though I tell the story of 9/11 on that date, I don’t know the individual stories of all the passengers, all the people in and around the Twin Towers, all the people at the Pentagon that day, and all the first responders. For instance, I didn’t know that one of those big burly, heroic men was gay.

But now I can’t unknow it — and neither can you. 

And, if you are one of those people who only thinks in stereotypes, consider this: When Todd Beamer said, “Okay. Let’s roll.”, Mark Bingham did did not back down; he did not let go.

“So you have to, at some point, start putting aside your lack of understanding and saying, like, ‘I support human rights, period. It doesn’t matter if I understand.’ Because, look, I don’t understand your experiences as a cis-person, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to withhold my support for your civil and human rights until you can explain it to me.”

— Journalist, author, artist, parent, and activist Beau Brink, interviewed in the Conspirituality podcast episode “143: Trans Reality, Trans Possibility”

Sunday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [“06292025 PRIDE, biographies”]

NOTE: The Spotify playlist includes an extra interlude track (since this message Sunday is not part of the studio recording. The YouTube playlist includes videos, at least one of which is referenced during the practice.

“When you look at me
What do you see
Am I not breathing with the same
Respiratory”

— quoted from the song “Stop Killing Us” by Neverending Nina

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

“But [Gil] Scott-Heron also had something else in mind—you can’t see the revolution on TV because you can’t see it at all. As he [said] in a 1990s interview:

‘The first change that takes place is in your mind. You have to change your mind before you change the way you live and the way you move. The thing that’s going to change people is something that nobody will ever be able to capture on film. It’s just something that you see and you’ll think, “Oh I’m on the wrong page,” or “I’m on I’m on the right page but the wrong note. And I’ve got to get in sync with everyone else to find out what’s happening in this country.”’

If we realize we’re out of sync with what’s really happening, we cannot find out more on television. The information is where the battles are being fought, at street level, and in the mechanisms of the legal process.”

— quoted from the Open Culture article “Gil Scott-Heron Spells Out Why ‘The Revolution Will Not Be Televised’” by Josh Jones (posted June 2nd, 2020)

### PROTECT YOUR JOY / MAINTAIN YOUR PEACE & DIGNITY ###

I ALWAYS Moustache You An Important Question (a repurposed note w/excerpt) November 3, 2024

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in 31-Day Challenge, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Donate, Faith, Fitness, Food, Gratitude, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Karma Yoga, Life, Men, Music, One Hoop, Philosophy, Science, Volunteer, Wisdom, Yoga.
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone grateful for friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom.

May you be peaceful and happy / May you be healthy and strong!

“Moving for mental health is a tradition that goes back to the dawn of Movember.”

— quoted from “The Order of Mo’s Guide to Move” on the Movember (US) website

Most of you mou’ what’s up. Most of you mou’ that it’s Movember and that means I’m once again joining other Mo Bros, Mo Sisters, and Mo Siblings in the effort to change the face of men’s health. This is one of those practices when I talk about men’s physical and mental health — and we get our mooooove on.

Then, we get a little mou’ rest, cause…

“‘We respond differently to life’s unexpected challenges. Sometimes, though, that can leave us feeling worried or overwhelmed. It’s our hope that we can connect men with the right support, and equip their peers with the confidence and skills to reach out and help when it’s most needed.’”

— Brendan Maher, Global Director of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention, Movember

CLICK ON THE EXCERPT TITLE BELOW FOR MORE.

UPDATED 2023: I Moustache You An Important Question

Please join me for a 65-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, Movember 3rd) at 2:30 PM. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Sunday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “Movember 3rd 2020”]

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).

Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.

### MO FOLK COME TOGETHER! ###

A Quick Note & Excerpt About Breathing and…. October 26, 2024

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Art, Books, Buddhism, Changing Perspectives, Donate, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Karma Yoga, Life, Meditation, One Hoop, Pain, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Vipassana, Volunteer, Wisdom, Yoga.
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone cultivating friendship, peace, freedom, understanding, and wisdom on Intersex Awareness Day.

May everyone be healthy and strong; may everyone be peaceful and happy; and may everyone recognize their whole self.

“[A monk] then applies this perception to his own body thus: ‘Verily, also my own body is of the same nature; such it will become and will not escape it.’

Thus he lives contemplating the body in the body internally, or he lives contemplating the body in the body externally, or he lives contemplating the body in the body internally and externally. He lives contemplating origination-factors in the body, or he lives contemplating dissolution factors in the body, or he lives contemplating origination-and-dissolution-factors in the body. Or his mindfulness is established with the thought: ‘The body exists,’ to the extent necessary just for knowledge and mindfulness, and he lives detached, and clings to nothing in the world. Thus also, monks, a monk lives contemplating the body in the body.”

— quoted from Satipatthana Sutta (The Foundations of Mindfulness) translated by Nyanasatta Thera

Prāņāyāma — the awareness of breath (and the extension of breath) — is a big part of the physical practice of yoga (haṭha yoga, regardless of the style or tradition). As we bring awareness to our breath, on and off the mat, we may start to notice the things that take our breath away. We can experience things that take our breath away because they are surprising and beautiful. We can experience things that take our breath away because they are surprising and terrifying. Then there are things that take our breath away because they are just surprising, unexpected….

We may rush to qualify them with some adjective or another and, in doing so, rush to some conclusion about what we need to do… when, really, we just need to breathe (that’s today’s first step); recognize what is (that’s today’s second step); and repeat the first two steps (that’s the third step).

CLICK ON THE EXCERPT TITLE BELOW FOR THE RELATED POST (& VIDEO).

For Those Who Missed It: Third Step: Repeat the First & Second Steps

“Myth 2: Being intersex is very rare


According to experts, around 1.7% of the population is born with intersex traits – comparable to the number of people born with red hair.”

— quoted from the Amnesty International article “Its Intersex Awareness Day – here are 5 myths we need to shatter”

October 26th is Intersex Awareness Day, which highlights and raises awareness about human rights issues faced by intersex people. It also raises awareness around the fact that there are people — all around the world — who are born with one or more sex characteristics that “do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies.” According to the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, these characteristics include chromosome patterns, gonads, and/or genitalia.

While there may be just as many people in the world with red hair as there are people in the world with intersex traits, the latter are not as easy to spot. Estimates on how many people are born with intersex traits may vary (depending on the traits and/or conditions) from 3% to 0.0009%. Aside from the fact that I’m referencing statistics related to over 40 intersex conditions, the wide variation in estimates is related to the fact that some people are not initially identified (medically) as intersex. Additionally, some people may never be identified as intersex. Lack of diagnosis can be the result of something relatively small — like the fact that a baby’s chromosome patterns (and/or gonads) are not typically tested. However, lack of diagnosis can also be the result of something fairly major — like the fact that sex (and gender) are typically assigned at birth based on the external appearance of a baby’s genitals.

And, here’s the kicker: If a baby’s genitalia appears ambiguous (to a medical practitioner) and/or atypical, a common practice has been to surgically alter the genitalia. Sometimes, even a baby’s internal sex organs (gonads) will be altered. Again, these surgeries and medical treatments happen to babies, as well as to children and young adults, who are too young to consent and/or may not be informed about their options. Sometimes, even their parents are not informed!

Medical attitudes and practices related to people with intersex characteristics are changing, in part because of people like Morgan Holmes and Max Beck, who both participated in the first public demonstration of intersex people (and their allies) in North America, today in 1996. Dr. Holmes (a Canadian sociologist) and Mr. Beck (who died in of cancer in 2008) attended the American Academy of Pediatrics annual conference in Boston, Massachusetts, with the intention of delivering a presentation on the long-term outcomes of “fixing” intersex infants through cosmetic surgery. However, they were met with what they described as “hostility” and escorted out of the venue. They later returned, outside of the venue, to demonstrate and advocate for better medical awareness. In 2003/2004, Betsy Driver (who was mayor of Flemington, New Jersey, January 2, 2019 – January 3, 2023) and artist and activist Emi Koyama organized the first official Intersex Awareness Day on the anniversary of that first public protest. Since then, people like Morgan Carpenter and Laura Inter have advocated for self-determination, while also providing peer support and education for and about people who have intersex traits.

For the next two weeks — up until November 8th, which is Intersex Day of Remembrance (also known as Intersex Solidarity Day) — grassroots organizations around the world will host events related to intersex visibility. Some of these events will be celebrations and opportunities for networking. Some of these events will be moments of reflection and remembrance. Some of these events will be all about political action and advocacy. All of these events will be about putting an “end [to] shame, secrecy and unwanted genital cosmetic surgeries on intersex children.”

“The flag is comprised of a golden yellow field, with a purple circle emblem. The colours and circle don’t just avoid referencing gender stereotypes, like the colours pink and blue, they seek to completely avoid use of symbols that have anything to do with gender at all. Instead the circle is unbroken and unornamented, symbolising wholeness and completeness, and our potentialities. We are still fighting for bodily autonomy and genital integrity, and this symbolises the right to be who and how we want to be.”

— quoted from the creator statement entitled “The intersex flag” by Morgan Carpenter, PhD. 

Please join me today (Saturday, October 26th) at 12:00 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10272020 Pranayama II”]

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).

Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.

Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.

### O ###

EXCERPTS: “Who Is Minding the Store?” & FTWMI: Nom de Destiné, Part “Deux” (the surprise part) January 9, 2024

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, 9-Day Challenge, Abhyasa, Books, Changing Perspectives, Healing Stories, Life, Men, New Year, One Hoop, Philosophy, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.
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May your mind-body-spirit be well, be great, and be in harmony with your thoughts, words, and deeds.

This can be considered a “missing” post for Tuesday, January 9th. Other than the Wednesday (7:15 PM, CST) practice, there are no Zoom practices until Saturday, January 13th. You can request an audio recording of previous practices via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

“What is an adult? A child blown up by age.”

— quoted from The Woman Destroyed by Simone de Beauvoir

The following excerpts are from a slightly revised post for January 9, 2021:

“Do you ever take note of yourself? In particular, do you take note of who you are and what you are all about — and how you got in the habit of being you? That last part may seem weird, because you’re thinking that you just are you and that being you is a state, not a habit. However, philosophically speaking, we become who we are — more and more, every day — and, as we become who we are we less and less likely to deviate from a certain pattern of behavior. In other words, who we are in this moment is a habit.

Simone de Beauvoir, born [January 9th] in 1908, was (along with her longtime companion Jean-Paul Sartre) one of the founders of existentialism; the philosophical and literary idea that freedom and the expression of personal freedom should be the foundation of and motivation for everything. Despite the fact that the couple, individually and collectively, sought to define themselves regardless of social conventions, there was a point when de Beauvoir had not considered how her sex and gender (and people’s ideas around her sex and gender) limited her freedom of being. In fact, she specifically told Sartre that she had not experienced any oppression or marginalization because she was a woman. (A comment I always find astonishing since one of the reasons the couple didn’t marry was because she had no dowry and said that made marriage ‘impossible.’)

Sartre basically told de Beauvoir to go deeper, and she did. The result of that deep dive was The Second Sex.”

I noted in 2021 that, “Sometimes Simone de Beauvoir’s behavior was so much ‘like a man’ that had she actually been a man, I might put her in the same category as President Richard Nixon, born [January 9th] in 1913, and not ever focused a class on her contributions. A double standard? In this case, yes.”

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE ABOUT THE HABIT OF BEING & THE DOUBLE STANDARD.

The 2021 playlist for January 9th is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10202020 Pratyahara”]

The 2022 playlist for January 9th is also available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “01102021 Being, The Habit”]

“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.”

— quoted from “Part IV — The Formative Years: Chapter XII. Childhood” in The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

FTWMI: In 2022, I created a video series called “Nine Days” that focused on setting intentions and cultivating habits. This is the first video in the series and the beginning of the practice.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

### ABHYASA ###

UPDATED 2023: I Moustache You An Important Question November 3, 2023

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Changing Perspectives, Depression, Fitness, Food, Healing Stories, Health, Karma Yoga, Life, Men, Science, Wisdom, Yoga.
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May you be peaceful and happy / May you be healthy and strong!

“‘As long as records have been kept in all countries, women have lived longer than men,’ said Amelia Karraker, a program official at the National Institute on Aging. ‘Across, basically, almost every major cause of death, men are more likely to die than women are.’”

— quoted from the March 2023 CNBC Health and Science article entitled, “Here’s why American men die younger than women on average and how to fix it” by Charlotte Morabito

The following was originally posted in 2020. The post has been revised, with some statistics updated (or added) to reflect more recent data. NOTE: Some links will direct you away from this site. WARNING: This post discusses physical and mental health issues.

Today is a big day. Not just in the United States, but all over the world, today is a day for changing and also for gaining insight. Today is Movember 3rd — also known as the 3rd day of No(shave)mber, a month dedicated to “changing the face of men’s health.” This month of awareness started in Melbourne, Australia in 2004, but has its origins in a 1999 story about a group in Adelaide, South Australia that coined the word “Movember.” The Adelaide group, of about 80, spent the month “growing whiskers for whiskers” (possibly while drinking whiskey, since they started in a pub) while also raising money for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) by selling Movember t-shirts.

When Adam Garone, Travis Garone, Luke Slattery, and Justin (JC) Coughlin started the Melbourne group — of 30 “Mo bros” raising awareness for prostate cancer and men’s mental health (specifically depression) — they didn’t realize that they were starting a movement. In 2005, almost 500 people joined the original 30 and raised over $40,000 for the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia, the PCFA’s largest donation at the time. Today, the Movember Foundation is an official charity in Australia and the movement has spread all over the world. Furthermore, the movement now includes “Mo sistahs” and other “Mo folks” and the focus has shifted to all aspects of men’s health and the discrepancies between men’s health and women’s health.

“Globally, men die an average of six years earlier than women, and for reasons that are largely preventable. Which means that it doesn’t have to be that way: we can take action to live healthier, happier and longer lives.”

“Mo your own way….”

— quoted from the (US) Movember website

Statistics (for 2019) showed that the average life expectancy for men was 76.3 years, versus 81.4 years for women. Estimates related to COVID-19 indicated that men would lose an average of 2.8 years versus 2.1 years lost by women. In any given year, 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed with cancer (versus 1 in 3 women) and studies show that a third of all cancers are preventable through diet, exercise, and other lifestyle choices. Those same lifestyle choices also benefit everyone’s cardiovascular systems, digestive systems, and mental health. 

Despite all the statistics and research about lifestyle choices, a large percentage of men are overweight (with 42.4% of Americans, in general, dealing with obesity and 9.2% with severe obesity). Note, however, that the term “obese” is tricky, especially in the United States, because our metrics can diagnose a very fit and muscular person as “obese.” Consider this then: 13.6% of men over the age of 18 consider themselves in fair to poor health — and many suffer from diabetes and heart disease without even knowing it.

Skin cancer is on the rise for all genders and is the most common cancer diagnosis for men, followed by prostate cancer. While melanoma is treatable and recoverable, the 2023 mortality rate for men is over twice that of women. 

In 2020, over 1.4 million men (globally) were diagnosed with prostate cancer — which is treatable and recoverable — while testicular cancer (which is also treatable and recoverable) is the most common cancer in men between the ages of 15 and 35. There’s over 70,000 new cases of testicular cancer every year (74,500 in 2020), with a little over half a million men (worldwide) living with (or beyond) it. The risk of both prostate cancer and testicular cancer increase if someone has a brother or father who has had that particular cancer; if a person has African-American ancestry; and (in the case of testicular cancer) if they have previously had that type of cancer. To make matters worse, men can also get breast cancer — which also has a genetic component.

All of the physical aspects of poor health take a mental health toll in a typical year. Keep in mind, however that 2020 was anything but typical (and the same can be said for 2021 – 2023) — especially when it comes to mental health. Then consider that, at the beginning of 2020, about 51.5 million Americans adults reported experiencing mental health issues within the previous 12 months and that that was an increase from previous years. In previous years, 15 million Americans (in general) were specifically diagnosed with depression. In 2018, an estimated 11.4 million people attempted suicide — with 48,344 Americans reported as dying from suicide. However, men die by suicide almost 4 times more than in women, and the highest rate of suicide is in middle-aged white men (who accounted for 69.67% of the suicides indicated above). In 2021, the number of deaths went down, but the percentage of middle-aged white men in that count was slightly higher. Additionally, veterans are at a high risk for suicide, regardless of gender.

And, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: gender. One set of stats that is only recently being tracked is the physical and mental health of transgender people. Just as diet and exercise affect physical and mental, so too does everyone’s level of hormones — which means hormone treatments could increase or decrease risk of certain illnesses. Additionally, physical and mental health improves when people have emotional support on their life’s journey. In my opinion, the high rate of suicide within the transgender community — as well as the high rate of violence against transgender people — indicates a lack of support and awareness. Thankfully, this is changing; however, as our perceptions change we need to make sure we do not leave transgender (or even non-binary) people out of the conversation.

  1. Spend time with people who make you feel good.

  2. Talk, more.

  3. Know the numbers. (If you are male and over 45, ask your doctor if you need a PSA test.)

  4. Know thy nuts. Simple.

  5. Move, more.”

— quoted from the (US) Movember website

According to the (US) Movember website, “70% of men say their friends can rely on them for support, but only 48% say that they rely on their friends.” This is always a wild (and frankly ridiculous) staticstic to me — but it points directly to the stigma and social mores or norms that make it challenging to be a healthy man in today’s society. Don’t get me wrong, as Dr. M. Scott Peck pointed out, “Life is difficult” for everyone. The individual aspects of each person’s life come with distinct physical and mental health risks. However, life is easier and people are healthier when we pay attention to what we’re feeling and also share what we’re feeling with people who respect us and treat us well. If you can’t count five people (or even three people) with whom you can have a mutually beneficial conversation — and between those five or three conversations cover every subject under the sun — you might want to consider how that lack of support translates into your quality of life and general well-being.

  1. Get your annual physical.

  2. Don’t smoke.

  3. Stay active.

  4. Eat heart healthy foods.

  5. Manage your stress.

  6. Drink in moderation.

  7. Know your family history.”

— Tips printed in Men’s Health

This is a supplemental posted related to the First Friday Night Special (as well as to some upcoming practices). Click here for details about the Movember 3rd practice in 2023.

If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.

If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

### MO BREATH, MO BETTA ###

Nom de Destiné, Part “Deux” (mostly the music w/ a link) January 9, 2022

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Changing Perspectives, Healing Stories, Life, Music, Philosophy, Wisdom, Women, Yoga.
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“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.”

*

– quoted from “Part IV – The Formative Years: Chapter XII. Childhood” in The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

Please join me for a 65-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Sunday, January 9th) at 2:30 PM. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

Sunday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “01102021 Being, The Habit”]

Click here for 2021 post related to this date.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)

### 🎶 ###

Who Is Minding the Store? (the Saturday post) January 10, 2021

Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, Confessions, Dharma, Healing Stories, Hope, Life, Loss, Men, One Hoop, Peace, Philosophy, Wisdom, Women, Yoga.
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[This is the post for Saturday, January 9th. It was slightly edited in 2023. You can request an audio recording of Saturday’s practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.

In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.]

 

“Man’s unhappiness, says Descartes, is due to his having first been a child. And indeed the unfortunate choices which most men make can only be explained by the fact that they have taken place on the basis of childhood. The child’s situation is characterized by his finding himself cast into a universe which he has not helped to establish, which has been fashioned without him, and which appears to him as an absolute to which he can only submit. In his eyes, human inventions, words, customs, and values are given facts, as inevitable as the sky and the trees….

 

From childhood on, flaws begin to be revealed in it. With astonishment, revolt and disrespect the child little by little asks himself, ‘Why must I act that way? What good is it? And what will happen if I act in another way?’ He discovers his subjectivity; he discovers that of others. And when he arrives at the age of adolescence he begins to vacillate because he notices the contradictions among adults as well as their hesitations and weakness. Men stop appearing as if they were gods, and at the same time the adolescent discovers the human character of the reality about him. Language, customs, ethics, and values have their source in these uncertain creatures. The moment has come when he too is going to be called upon to participate in their operation; his acts weigh upon the earth as much as those of other men. He will have to choose and decide. It is comprehensible that it is hard for him to live this moment of his history, and this is doubtless the deepest reason for the crisis of adolescence; the individual must at last assume his subjectivity.”

 

– quoted from “II. Personal Freedom and Others” in The Ethics of Ambiguity by Simone de Beauvoir

 

“What is an adult? A child blown up by age.”

 

– quoted from The Woman Destroyed by Simone de Beauvoir

Do you ever take note of yourself? In particular, do you take note of who you are and what you are all about – and how you got in the habit of being you? That last part may seem weird, because you’re thinking that you just are you and that being you is a state, not a habit. However, philosophically speaking, we become who we are – more and more, every day – and, as we become who we are we less and less likely to deviate from a certain pattern of behavior. In other words, who we are in this moment is a habit.

Simone de Beauvoir, born today in 1908, was (along with her longtime companion Jean-Paul Sartre) one of the founders of existentialism; the philosophical and literary idea that freedom and the expression of personal freedom should be the foundation of and motivation for everything. Despite the fact that the couple, individually and collectively, sought to define themselves regardless of social conventions, there was a point when de Beauvoir had not considered how her sex and gender (and people’s ideas around her sex and gender) limited her freedom of being. In fact, she specifically told Sartre that she had not experienced any oppression or marginalization because she was a woman. (A comment I always find astonishing since one of the reasons the couple didn’t marry was because she had no dowry and said that made marriage “impossible.”)

Sartre basically told de Beauvoir to go deeper, and she did. The result of that deep dive was The Second Sex.

Published in 1949, the two volumes of The Second Sex (Facts and Myths and Lived Experience) provided a history of the treatment of women; made a distinction between biological sex and socially-constructed gender; and became the foundation for modern feminist theory – although its author was reluctant to call herself a feminist. One of the bottom lines from The Second Sex is that men (and in particular, in certain cultures, white men) are seen by society as the “norm” and that everyone else (and everything associated with everyone else) is defined (on a scale beneath men) in a way that “Others,” fetishizes, and demeans them. Additionally, she pointed out that to deviate from the “norm” and the resulting hierarchy can be detrimental.  

“If her functioning as a female is not enough to define woman, if we decline also to explain her through ‘the eternal feminine’, and if nevertheless we admit, provisionally, that women do exist, then we must face the question ‘what is a woman’?

 

To state the question is, to me, to suggest, at once, a preliminary answer. The fact that I ask it is in itself significant. A man would never set out to write a book on the peculiar situation of the human male. But if I wish to define myself, I must first of all say: ‘I am a woman’; on this truth must be based all further discussion. A man never begins by presenting himself as an individual of a certain sex; it goes without saying that he is a man. The terms masculine and feminine are used symmetrically only as a matter of form, as on legal papers. In actuality the relation of the two sexes is not quite like that of two electrical poles, for man represents both the positive and the neutral, as is indicated by the common use of man to designate human beings in general; whereas woman represents only the negative, defined by limiting criteria, without reciprocity. In the midst of an abstract discussion it is vexing to hear a man say: ‘You think thus and so because you are a woman’; but I know that my only defence [sic] is to reply: ‘I think thus and so because it is true,’ thereby removing my subjective self from the argument. It would be out of the question to reply: ‘And you think the contrary because you are a man’, for it is understood that the fact of being a man is no peculiarity.”

 

– quoted from “Introduction: Woman as Other” in The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir  

 

We may think nothing of the way we think and the way our brains process stimuli, until there is a problem – a fracture in our understanding of “reality” – or we engage in a contemplative practice that requires us to question everything; including the way we think. The Yoga Philosophy continuously asks us to question… everything. As we must understand our selves and the way our mind understands the world (through the senses), the 8-limbed philosophy explores how everything we think, say, do, and experience creates a mental/psychological impression (samskara) through which we filter the next thing we think, say, do, and experience. We also look at how we repeat this pattern throughout every moment of our lives and how, unless we take note and do something to lift the “veil of impressions,” we become who we are because we are hardwiring ourselves to be a certain way.

Another way to think of this is purely neurological. Every time we do something new (so, everything we think, say, do, and experience) a neural pathway is created in the brain. This pathway gets hardwired as we repeat a thought, word, deed, or experience and this is how a habit is formed – whether it is the habit of eating or not eating certain food; drinking or otherwise imbibing to excess (or not at all); working out (or not); working 80 hours a week; procrastinating; not getting enough sleep or sleeping too much…. The list goes on, because once we repeat a behavior enough times, we do it without thought or consideration. And, when you think about it, this is how we become who are; who we are in the habit of being.

“Stendhal said: ‘All the geniuses who are born women are lost to the public good.’ To tell the truth, one is not born a genius: one becomes a genius; and the feminine situation has up to the present rendered this becoming practically impossible.”

 

– quoted from “Part II – History: Chapter VIII. Since the French Revolution: The Job and the Vote” in The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir  

“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.”

 

– quoted from “Part IV – The Formative Years: Chapter XII. Childhood” in The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir  

Using Simone de Beauvoir as an example, consider how her understanding of the world (as she had been taught as a child) meant that her lack of dowry prevented her from getting married. Yet, that same lack of dowry (that prevented her from getting married) allowed her to study an academic discipline she may not have been able to study had she been married with children. At some point and on some level, she decided to focus on the freedom she “gained” from not being married rather than on the limitations society placed on her because her family wasn’t wealthy. Freedom and expression of that freedom became everything! At various points throughout her life, there were situations (of oppression) that she was in the habit of ignoring, because she was in the habit (as her father said) of thinking “like a man” and acting accordingly.**

In some ways, the explanations above are overly simplified, because they barely touch all the layers. The reality is that all of our experiences are based around external sensations (whereby we receive information about an object through our sense organs) and the internal processing of these sensations (which is a mental engagement). Yoga looks at five senses, plus the mind: smelling, tasting, seeing, touching, hearing, and thinking. These senses are physically and mentally (neurologically) tied to a sense organ; to the mind; and, also, symbolically and energetically tied to a chakra. That chakra connection means that each sense is also associated to a part of the body that is not directly (physically) connected to the sense organ. Additionally, each sense is tied to an action: eliminating, (pro)creating, moving, grasping/holding, speaking, and thinking. When Patanjali explains the practice and experience of pratyāhāra (which is literally defined as “pulling the mind from every direction and in every respect to a focal point”), he specifically mentions indriyāņām, which are the 5 expressions of the physical-mental sense organ engagement and the 5 expressions of the corresponding action – with thinking sometimes ranking as an 11th indriya.

To get the real “big picture” we must also factor in our (emotionally) feelings about what we are sensing and thinking, as well as whether that emotion is rooted in the presence or (as is more often the case) rooted in the past. In the commentary for this week’s sūtra (2.55), Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, PhD, points out that there is a point in the (continued) practice when, “The joy engendered by this union [between mind and prana] engulfs the mind’s roaming tendencies. The cortex, which is the seat of the manas, the thinking mind, stops brooding on the future. This leads to freedom from anxiety. The amygdale, which is the seat of chitta, the storehouse of memories [and the processing point for decision-making and emotional responses], stops interacting with emotions associated with past issues. This leads to freedom from sorrow.”

Yoga Sūtra 2.54: svaişayāsamprayoge cittasyasvarūpānukāra ivendriyāņām pratyāhārah

 

– “Withdrawing from every direction toward a focal point, the sense organs and actions cease engaging with the [corresponding] sense objects and become like the true nature of the mind.

 

Yoga Sūtra 2.55: tatah paramā vaśyatendriyāņām

 

– “From that [pratyahara] comes the highest level of mastery over senses

Think back to the classic analogy of the senses being wild horses*; the mind/brain being the reins; the body being the chariot; the mind/intellect being the charioteer; and the Atman-Self being the passenger along for the ride. Think about how every experience involves a variety of sense objects which will attract the attention of the horses. Think how, if not controlled, the horses keep pulling in the direction of the sense object each one finds most appealing. Chaos reigns.

And we fear the chaos.

Now, think about what happens if the horses have been trained (though experience) to know which way is “the barn” and that “the barn” equals whatever appeals to the senses. Now, you could drop the reins and the horses would all go to “the barn.” The only problem is they are still pulling in a different direction – only now you know the why and the where. This is a more controlled form of chaos, because now the senses and the brain are in the habit of doing certain things given certain information (stimuli) and conditions.

What if, however, “the barn” is not where you are going? Now, you have to struggle a bit, to keep the horses on course – especially since each horse may be pulling towards a different “barn.” Maybe you hold too tightly to the reins, especially when you notice you’re going in the “wrong” direction; and then you go nowhere fast. The alternative, according to Patanjali, is to intentionally train the senses by drawing them in – almost like an American football huddle.

 Remember, this is not about suppressing or repressing natural abilities. Neither is this about becoming so “numb” you are sleep walking through life. No, this is about training – and/or retraining – the mind-body to process sensation/information in different ways. It’s not about being reactive, it’s about being responsive. It’s not about improving your sight, but rather about improving your vision (of yourself and the world). It’s not about denying or suppressing reality, but rather about believing in yourself. And, ultimately, it is about being in the habit of being your best self.

The beauty of this practice is that while it is not magical, and doesn’t happen overnight, it does happen.

“To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object: a woman in love is neither asleep nor dead; there is a surge in her which unceasingly ebbs and flows: the ebb creates the spell that keeps desire alive.”

 

– quoted from “Part IV – The Formative Years: Chapter III. Sexual Initiation” in The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir  

 

Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “10202020 Pratyahara”]

 

*NOTE: I decided to stick with the tried and true wild horse and chariot analogy, rather than the store analogy referenced in the title.

**NOTE: Sometimes Simone de Beauvoir’s behavior was so much “like a man” that had she actually been a man, I might put her in the same category as President Richard Nixon, born today in 1913, and not every focused a class on her contributions. A double standard? In this case, yes.

“The new feminism is radical, by contrast. As in 1968, its watchword is: change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.”

 

– quoted from After the Second Sex: Conversations with Simone de Beauvoir by Alice Schwarzer

 

### Riding with a Charioteer Named Purpose ###