A Little Note & FTWMI: Contemplating Death, Dying, and All the Living in Between July 8, 2025
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Vairagya, Wisdom, Women, Writing.Tags: 988, Death, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, grief, Ken Ross, Life, Loss, meditation, mental health, On Death and Dying, On Grief and Grieving, Philosophy, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh, yoga
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Peace and blessings to all!
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
“Strange though it may seem to you, one of the most productive avenues for growth is found through the study and experience of death. Perhaps death reminds us that our time is limited and that we’d better accomplish our purpose here on earth before our time runs out. Whatever the reason….Those who have been immersed in the tragedy of massive death during wartime, and who have faced it squarely, never allowing their senses and feelings to become numbed and indifferent, have emerged from their experiences with growth and humanness greater than that achieved through almost any other means.”
— quoted from Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
There are places in the world where people have almost always had to grapple with life and death and dying on a daily basis. However, for many in the world, the last few years have included more struggles with life and death and dying.
These are hard things to contemplate, but they are also important things to contemplate; because, death and dying (and the feelings associated with them) are all part of life.
My condolences to people who are dealing with death and dying, especially when it is an unexpected loss, a tragic loss, and/or the loss of those who were so very young.
May their memories bring you comfort.
For Those Who Missed It: The following was originally posted today in 2020 & 2023. Class details and some formatting have been updated. I have also moved some quotes around.
“I cannot leave out the problem of life and death. Many young people and others have come out to serve others and to labor for peace, through their love for all who are suffering. They are always mindful of the fact that the most important question is the question of life and death, but often not realizing that life and death are but two faces of one reality. Once we realize that we will have the courage to encounter both of them….
Now I see that if one doesn’t know how to die, one can hardly know how to live—because death is a part of life.”
— quoted from The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation by Thích Nhất Hạnh
Today’s post and class will be tricky for some. Today’s theme is always tricky for some. Although, I would assert that it shouldn’t be. After all, death is part of life. That can come off glib and easy to say — specifically because it is a little glib, or shallow, because it belies the fact that loss is hard and that most of us haven’t/don’t really face the concept of death until we (or someone we love) is dying. The statement “death is part of life” is also shallow because it belies the fact that, even if we meditate on and prepare for death, loss is still hard. Yes, death and dying are something that we all have to deal with, but to just leave it at that is what makes the subject tricky. We have to, as Thích Nhất Hạnh instructs in The Miracle of Mindfulness, go deeper.
“The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one[s] we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or goes in a prescribed order.”
— quoted from On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler
Born in Zürich, Switzerland today in 1926, Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was the oldest triplet in a family of Protestant Christians. Despite her father’s wishes, she grew up to be a psychiatrist known for her work on death and dying, life and death, and the five stages of grief. Her ultimate work was in part inspired by her work with refugees in Zürich during World War II. After the war, she participated in relief efforts in Poland and, at some point, visited the Maidanek concentration camp in Poland. As a young woman, standing in a place of destruction, she was struck by the compassion and human resilience that would inspire someone to carve hundreds of butterflies into the walls of the death camp.
Dr. Kübler-Ross originally planned on being a pediatrician. However, she married a fellow medical student (in New York in 1958) and became pregnant. The pregnancy resulted in the loss of her pediatrics residency, so she switched to psychiatry. Unfortunately, she also suffered two miscarriages before giving birth to two children. The loss of her residency and her miscarriages were not her first (or last) experiences with loss. Her marriage ended in divorce and, when she attempted to build a Virginia hospice for infants and children with HIV/AIDS, someone set fire to her home (in 1994). The house and all of the belongings inside were lost to arson.
When she started her psychiatry residency, Dr. Kübler-Ross was struck by the way hospitals in the United States treated patients who were dying. She began to host lectures where medical students were forced to meet and listen to dying people outside of a clinical setting. Her intention was to get medical students to “[react] like human beings instead of scientists…and be able to treat [terminal patients] with compassion the same compassion that you would want for yourself.” As she moved through her career, she continued hosting the series of seminars which used interviews with terminally ill patients. Her work was met with both praise and criticism — most of the latter was because she was so obviously questioning the traditional practices of psychiatry. In 1969, she released her seminal book On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families, which provided a grief model for people who were dying and for those they were leaving behind.
“Those who have the strength and the love to sit with a dying patient in the silence that goes beyond words will know that this moment is neither frightening nor painful, but a peaceful cessation of the functioning of the body.”
— quoted from On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Dr. Kübler-Ross explained from the beginning that her outline was not intended to be linear and yet, people wanted to be able to step through the stages with grace and ease. The problem with that mindset is… life is messy and so is grieving. A perfect example of the messiness of life and death can be found in Dr. Kübler-Ross’s own life… and death. In 1995, after a series of strokes which left her partially paralyzed on her left side, she found herself confronted with the reality of her own death. Added to her grief was the closing of Shanti Nilaya (“Final Home of Peace”), a healing and growth center which she had established in the later 1970’s (shortly before her divorce) after convincing her husband to buy 40-acres of land in Escondido, California.
Despite a 2002 interview with The Arizona Republic, where she stated that she was ready to die, Dr. Kübler-Ross struggled with the fact that she could not choose her own time of death. He son Ken, Founder and President of the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation, served as her caregiver for the last decade of her life. In a 2019 interview with the hosts of ABC Radio’s Life Matters, Ken said, “A few weeks before she passed she said to me, ‘Kenneth, I don’t want to die.’”
“It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.”
— quoted from Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Ken Ross admitted that he was taken aback by his mother’s statement that she did not want to die. It turned out, Dr. Kübler-Ross was not only physically paralyzed; she was also stuck in the anger stage of her own grief model. She caught flak in the media — as if she were somehow above being human simply because she had studied, taught, and spoken so openly and so frequently on the subject of death and dying. She did not stay there (in the anger stage), however, as her family and friends encouraged her to keep living and to keep processing the experience of dying. Her son even literally pushed her out of her comfort zone by assisting her in wheelchair marathons and in visiting her sisters in Europe.
“[She] let herself be loved and taken care of, then that was her final lesson — and then she was allowed to graduate. For years I thought about this and what I realized was that’s exactly what she teaches. [When] you learn your lessons you’re allowed to graduate.”
— Ken Ross in a 2019 “Life Matters” interview on ABC Radio National
“In Switzerland I was educated in line with the basic premise: work, work, work. You are only a valuable human being if you work. This is utterly wrong. Half working, half dancing – that is the right mixture. I myself have danced and played too little.”
— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. in an interview
Please join me today (Tuesday, July 8th) at 12:00 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “07082020 On Death & Dying”]
“If we could raise one generation with unconditional love, there would be no Hitlers. We need to teach the next generation of children from Day One that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear.”
— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D.
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is an app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
Revised 07/08/2023 & 2025.
### “People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” EKR ###
EXCERPT: “Grace & FTWMI: What Dreams May Come (on May 6th)” May 6, 2025
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Donate, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Karma Yoga, Life, Music, One Hoop, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Volunteer, Wisdom, Yoga.Tags: 988, Anna O, Bertha Pappenheim, dream interpretation, dreams, Josef Breuer, KISS MY ASANA, psychoanalysis, rabbits, Sigmund Freud, yoga, Yoga Sutra 1.10, Yoga Sutra 1.38, Yoga Sutras 1.5-1.10
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Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone Counting the Omer and/or observing the third week of Pascha.
“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.”
— from a letter written by Sigmund Freud to Dr. Wilhelm Fleiss, otolaryngologist (dated 10/15/1897)
Sigmund Freud was born today in 1856. Click on the excerpt title below for more.
If you’re curious about what I might “dream up” next, please join me today (Tuesday, May 6th) at 12:00 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “05062020 What Dreams May Come”]
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
You can still click here to Kiss My Asana Now! (Or, you can also still click here to join my team and get people to kiss [your] asana!)
### How Do You Know What You Know About Yourself? ###
FTWMI: Here Be The Wild Things (a post-practice Monday re-post) June 10, 2024
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Art, Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Healing Stories, Life, Music, Pain, Philosophy, Religion, Suffering, Vairagya, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: 988, addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, Anne Smith, asana, Bill Wilson, Counting the Omer, disability, Dr. Bob Smith, Dragon Boat Festival, Eastertide, Eugene Glenn, G. Alan Marlatt, Holocaust, In the Night Kitchen, Loss, Maurice Sendak, Mindfulness, Outside Over There, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, recovery, Richard Gottlieb, Stanton Peele, survivors, trauma, Where The Wild Things Are, yoga practice
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Happy Pride! Many blessings to everyone and especially to anyone observing Eastertide; Counting the Omer, and/or working to cultivate peace, freedom, and fulfillment (inside and outside).
For Those Who Missed It: The following was originally posted in 2020 and is related to the practice on Monday, June 10th. Some formatting, links, and 2024-related information have been updated or added. The 2024 prompt question was, “What is your concept of a sacred space?” You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es).
Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.
“And so we have…this critical problem as human beings of seeing to it that the mythology—the constellation of sign signals, affect images, energy-releasing and -directing signs—that we are communicating to our young will deliver directive messages qualified to relate them richly and vitally to the environment that is to be theirs for life, and not to some period of man already past, some piously desiderated future, or—what is worst of all—some querulous, freakish sect or momentary fad. And I call this problem critical because, when it is badly resolved, the result for the miseducated individual is what is known, in mythological terms, as a Waste Land situation. The world does not talk to him; he does not talk to the world. When that is the case, there is a cut-off, the individual is thrown back on himself, and he is in prime shape for that psychotic break-away that will turn him into either an essential schizophrenic in a padded cell, or a paranoid screaming slogans at large, in a bughouse without walls.”
— quoted from A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living by Joseph Campbell
How do we keep from becoming, to paraphrase Joseph Campbell, a screaming paranoid person? How do we face trauma, loss, and disability with a smile on our face, as Wayman Tisdale did? Maybe we have to go all the way back to the womb to figure out why some people survive the challenging circumstances they face in life. Maybe we have to go back even farther than that to see why some people just inherently know how to stay connected to their “inside stuff” even when life throws them one curve ball after another fast ball. Whatever the reason some people rebound and some people don’t (or don’t as easily as others), trying to figure out that reason has fascinated people since the beginning of time.
Children’s book author and illustrator Maurice Sendak, born today in 1928, in Brooklyn, New York, once said, “I only have one subject. The question I am obsessed with is: How do children survive?” Like the poets mentioned during the June 7th class, Mr. Sendak wrote about what he saw — and what he saw was a family decimated by the Holocaust and trying to acclimate to a new country and a new culture. He saw kids being kids, being alive and full of so much life despite the overwhelming and pervasive feeling of perpetual mourning. The adults called the unruly children “vilde chaya,” which is Yiddish for “wild animal.” Mr. Sendak turned it into “wild things” and wrote a children’s book that become the center of a trilogy about (you guessed it) how children survive and thrive.
“I grew up in a house that was in a constant state of mourning.”
— Maurice Sendak, quoted from a 2002 interview with children’s book historian Leonard Marcus
“’And now,’ cried Max, ‘let the wild rumpus start!’”
— quoted from Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
Where The Wild Things Are, published in 1963, tells the story of preschool-age Max who, as adults would have said during my childhood, gets a little too big for his britches. He is sent to his room without his dinner because he can’t behave and, as children do, he lets his imagination take over. His bedroom becomes a magical land full of wild animals, beasts, monsters….
[In 2020] My amazing friend Julie K just sent me a recent essay in The New Yorker about metaphorical monsters. I found it problematic because the identity of the monsters is too vague. Mr. Sendak, however, was always very clear; the monsters in his first book were the perpetually mourning and stern adults in his family. He just exaggerated them into something endearingly grotesque. As Max manages his emotions, becoming “king of all wild things” (a. k. a. the “most wild thing of all”), he finds his way back to the regular world. Managing one’s emotions, it turns out, is the secret to making one’s way back to the regular world.
“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again. You really don’t have a sacred space, a rescue land, until you find somewhere to be that’s not a wasteland, some field of action where there is a spring of ambrosia—a joy that comes from inside, not something external that puts joy into you—a place that lets you experience your own will and your own intention and your own wish so that, in small, the Kingdom is there. I think everybody, whether they know it or not, is in need of such a place.”
— quoted from A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living by Joseph Campbell
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen.”
— quoted from Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
As I mentioned before, Where The Wild Things Are was the first of a three-part series to be published, but it is actually the centerpiece to the trilogy. In The Night Kitchen (published in 1970) follows toddler-age Mickey as he falls, naked, into the Night Kitchen, where he has to avoid getting baked into the cake batter and eaten up. Max, again, is preschool-age. Outside Over There (published in 1981) features pre-adolescent Ida, who shirks her responsibility and then has to face the consequences of making things right. It is interesting to note that while there is always a symbol of a mother and evidence of a mother’s love in all three books, Ida is the only real-live human girl featured prominently in the books and she is given (in the book) the mother’s role of caregiver — a role she initially fails to take seriously.
“When Papa was away at sea and Mama in the arbor, Ida played her wonder horn to rock the baby still – but never watched.”
— quoted from Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak
Maurice Sendak’s trilogy is recognized as a series which traces the psychological development of children. Each protagonist has age appropriate responsibilities, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Each protagonist also has to navigate and find balance between the (age appropriate) expectations of the simultaneously present yet absent parent(s) and their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. One of the emotions that figures prominently, especially in Where The Wild Things Are, is rage and one of the themes that figures prominently in the books is how to manage emotions like rage. Because, as I sated before, managing one’s emotions is the secret to making one’s way back to the regular world. It is the boon, as it were, of this particular hero’s journey/cycle.
“But it is more than mere survival that Sendak aspires to, for his children and for himself. He asks the question of resilience: How do children surmount and transform in order to prosper and create? It is tempting to imagine that Sendak conceives of the trajectory of his own life and art as a model for the way he has handled these questions in his works.”
— quoted from a 2009 The Psychologist article by psychoanalyst Richard Gottlieb
When Where The Wild Things Are was turned into a movie, therapists like Richard Gottlieb offered their clinical take on the book and the movie. Psychoanalyst and attorney Stanton Peele noted in a 2009 article for Psychology Today that Dr. G. Alan Marlatt, a psychologist who focused on addiction, “specifically developed mindfulness as a relapse prevention technique, one that assists addicted people to combat cravings. In brief, a user may imagine the urge to use again as a physical challenge – like a wave – that he or she rides out.” Then, Stanton Peele called Mr. Sendak’s work “a model of mindfulness.” For his part, Richard Gottlieb did not think it was an accident that Mr. Sendak’s work was so psychologically applicable. In fact, he specifically highlighted various “psychological proddings and teachings” which influenced Maurice Sendak’s life — including the fact that his partner (for over 50 years) was psychoanalyst Eugene Glenn — and shared bits of conversations with colleagues who also see the value in the book.
“I’m not the milk and the milk’s not me. I’m Mickey!”
— Mickey, quoted from In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
Call it a coincidence, a cowinkydink, God winking, or serendipity, but it is interesting to note that Maurice Sendak, whose seminal book has been hailed and praised by addiction experts, was born on the anniversary of Dr. Bob Smith’s last drink, which is also the anniversary of Alcoholics Anonymous. Today in 1935, Bill Wilson and Dr. Smith’s wife Anne gave a severely hung-over Smith (a. k. a. “Dr. Bob”) a beer so that he would be “steady enough” to go into surgery. Hours beyond when the surgery should have ended, Smith announced that yes, the surgery was successful and that he had spent the remaining time reaching out to creditors and others he had hurt when he was drinking. Founded by Smith and Wilson, with support from Smith’s wife Anne, Alcoholics Anonymous is a 12-step rehabilitation program that has helped some people cope with alcoholism. It is also the model for other 12-step programs. While I have not counted the steps as they apply to Maurice Sendak’s work, there are very definite parallels in the way the main characters acknowledge their problems, turn inward, and offer restitution and express remorse. There are also, in the books and in recovery, humongous amounts of love and forgiveness (in particular, self-love and self-forgiveness).
“If Ida backwards in the rain would only turn around again and catch those goblins with a tune, she’d spoil their kidnap honeymoon!”
— quoted from Papa’s song in Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak
NOTE: For some people, a sacred space is on the outside; for some it is on the inside; and for some it is both. For some it is all of that mixed in with tradition, ritual, and intention. Ultimately, to go back to the words of Joseph Campbell and Maurice Sendak, it is a place where everything falls into place — where we have good “luck.” It is a place we have to find and/or cultivate, as we do in our practice and as some people do during the Dragon Boat Festival.
The 2024 practice coincided with the Dragon Boat Festival in China and other parts of Southeast Asia. Held on the fifth day of the fifth month of the lunar calendar, the celebration (and it’s counterparts in places like Korea, Japan, and Vietnam), features dragon boat races, dumplings, and what some consider “the poor man’s fireworks.” Since double fives (in Chinese) is considered inauspicious, some people will make a point to protect their homes and/or offices by adorning their doors with garlic and flowers that repel insects. Some will also stick pins in pictures of five poisonous animals — a snake, centipede, scorpion, lizard, toad, and/or spider — as a way to ward off illness or bad fortune.
“Quiet down there!”
— Mickey, quoted from In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
There is no playlist for the Common Ground Meditation Center practices.
Since music soothes the wild beasts, the goblins, and the cooks, the 2020 playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “06102020 Here Be The Wild Things”]
MUSIC NOTE: YouTube is the original playlist and includes the video below.
My all time favorite rendition!
If you are thinking about suicide, worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, you can dial 988 (in the US) or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call this TALK line if you are struggling with addiction or involved in an abusive relationship. The Lifeline network is free, confidential, and available to all 24/7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.
White Flag is a new app, which I have not yet researched, but which may be helpful if you need peer-to-peer (non-professional) support.
If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgement-free place to talk, you can also click here to contact the TrevorLifeline (which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors).
### “I’LL EAT YOU UP!”• “I LOVE YOU!” ###
EXCERPT: “Uncovering Layers to Reveal Truth” February 27, 2024
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Lent / Great Lent, Life, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Religion, Science, Suffering, Wisdom, Women, Yoga.Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Anna O, Bertha Pappenheim, Cooper Union, Elizabeth KOULTON, Gene Knudsen Hoffman, Josef Breuer, psychoanalysis, psychology, samskāras, Samyama, Season for Nonviolence, Season of Non-violence, Sigmund Freud, slavery, Stephen Douglas
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Many blessing to anyone observing (or getting ready to observe) Lent. Peace and ease — and more listening — to all, throughout this “Season for Nonviolence” and all other seasons!
“An enemy is one whose story we have not heard.”
— the title of a 1997 essay by Gene Knudsen Hoffman
The following excerpt is from the 2023 revision of a previous post:
“Imagine that, at a very early age, you are exposed to an idea. It doesn’t have to be a big idea, stated and codified in a systematic way. It could just be a simple statement. It could be an idea (or a statement) about age, gender, race, ethnicity, religious and/or political beliefs — it could even be an idea about height or weight or hair texture (or length) or skin and/or eye hue. Or maybe it’s a statement about ability. Either way, the moment that you are exposed to the idea, some part of you questions whether it is true and even considers the validity of the idea/statement based on the source. You may not be conscious of this questioning, but it happens – sometimes quickly, in a blink — and then, as you move forward, other things (and people) either confirm the veracity of the idea or invalidate the idea.
Now, imagine that you grow up with this idea and this idea, whether you feel it is directed at you or at people around you, becomes — on a certain level — the lens through which you view yourself and the world. You may not be conscious of this lens. In fact, in most cases, this bias (whether we view it as positive or negative) is unconscious… subterranean. In the Yoga Philosophy, saṃskāra is a Sanskrit word for mental “impressions,” that can also be defined as “idea, notion, conception.” Saṃskāra are the foundation or roots of our thoughts, words, and deeds. Neurologically speaking, we can think of them as hard-wired pathways that are sometimes such an integral part of us they make habitual responses to certain situations appear instinctual. They are the beginning of the best of us… and also the worst of us.”
CLICK HERE for the entire post about Bertha Pappenheim (born today in 1859) and about a speech given by Abraham Lincoln today in 1860.
NOTE: The linked post contains information about mental health and United States history. It also includes links to a different playlist.
“This can already be seen in the different reception given a new citizen of the world. If the father or someone else asked what ‘it’ was after a successful birth, the answer might be either the satisfied report of a boy, or—with pronounced sympathy for the disappointment— ‘Nothing, a girl,’ or ‘Only a girl.’”
— Bertha Pappenheim (b. 1859) as quoted in The Jewish Woman: New Perspectives, edited by Elizabeth Koultun
Please join me today (Tuesday, February 27th) at 12:00 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom. You can use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Tuesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “08282021 The Heart’s Wildest Dream”]
“If any man at this day sincerely believes that a proper division of local from federal authority, or any part of the Constitution, forbids the Federal Government to control as to slavery in the federal territories, he is right to say so, and to enforce his position by all truthful evidence and fair argument which he can. But he has no right to mislead others, who have less access to history, and less leisure to study it, into the false belief that ‘our fathers who framed the Government under which we live’ were of the same opinion — thus substituting falsehood and deception for truthful evidence and fair argument. If any man at this day sincerely believes ‘our fathers who framed the Government under which we live,’ used and applied principles, in other cases, which ought to have led them to understand that a proper division of local from federal authority or some part of the Constitution, forbids the Federal Government to control as to slavery in the federal territories, he is right to say so. But he should, at the same time, brave the responsibility of declaring that, in his opinion, he understands their principles better than they did themselves; and especially should he not shirk that responsibility by asserting that they ‘understood the question just as well, and even better, than we do now.’”
— quoted from Abraham Lincoln’s address at Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, February 27, 1860, (during which he repeatedly quotes a statement made by Senator Stephen Douglas)
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
### [ARE YOU] LISTENING? ###
FTWMI: Contemplating Death, Dying, and All the Living in Between July 8, 2023
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Vairagya, Wisdom, Women, Writing.Tags: Death, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Ken Ross, Life, meditation, On Death and Dying, On Grief and Grieving, Philosophy, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh, yoga
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Peace and blessings to all!
For Those Who Missed It: The following was originally posted today in 2020. Class details have been updated.
“If we could raise one generation with unconditional love, there would be no Hitlers. We need to teach the next generation of children from Day One that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear.”
– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D.
“I cannot leave out the problem of life and death. Many young people and others have come out to serve others and to labor for peace, through their love for all who are suffering. They are always mindful of the fact that the most important question is the question of life and death, but often not realizing that life and death are but two faces of one reality. Once we realize that we will have the courage to encounter both of them….
Now I see that if one doesn’t know how to die, one can hardly know how to live—because death is a part of life.”
– quoted from The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation by Thích Nhất Hạnh
Today’s post and class will be tricky for some. Today’s theme is always tricky for some. Although, I would assert that it shouldn’t be. After all, death is part of life. That can come off glib and easy to say – specifically because it is a little glib, or shallow, because it belies the fact that loss is hard and that most of us haven’t/don’t really face the concept of death until we (or someone we love) is dying. The statement “death is part of life” is also shallow because it belies the fact that, even if we meditate on and prepare for death, loss is still hard. Yes, death and dying are something that we all have to deal with, but to just leave it at that is what makes the subject tricky. We have to, as Thích Nhất Hạnh instructs in The Miracle of Mindfulness, go deeper.
“The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one[s] we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or goes in a prescribed order.”
– quoted from On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler
Born in Zürich, Switzerland today in 1926, Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was the oldest triplet in a family of Protestant Christians. Despite her father’s wishes, she grew up to be a psychiatrist known for her work on death and dying, life and death, and the five stages of grief. Her ultimate work was in part inspired by her work with refugees in Zürich during World War II. After the war, she participated in relief efforts in Poland and, at some point, visited the Maidanek concentration camp in Poland. As a young woman, standing in a place of destruction, she was struck by the compassion and human resilience that would inspire someone to carve hundreds of butterflies into the walls of the death camp.
Dr. Kübler-Ross originally planned on being a pediatrician. However, she married a fellow medical student (in New York in 1958) and became pregnant. The pregnancy resulted in the loss of her pediatrics residency, so she switched to psychiatry. Unfortunately, she also suffered two miscarriages before giving birth to two children. The loss of her residency and her miscarriages were not her first (or last) experiences with loss. Her marriage ended in divorce and, when she attempted to build a Virginia hospice for infants and children with HIV/AIDS, someone set fire to her home (in 1994). The house and all of the belongings inside were lost to arson.
When she started her psychiatry residency, Dr. Kübler-Ross was struck by the way hospitals in the United States treated patients who were dying. She began to host lectures where medical students were forced to meet and listen to dying people outside of a clinical setting. Her intention was to get medical students to “[react] like human beings instead of scientists…and be able to treat [terminal patients] with compassion the same compassion that you would want for yourself.” As she moved through her career, she continued hosting the series of seminars which used interviews with terminally ill patients. Her work was met with both praise and criticism – most of the latter was because she was so obviously questioning the traditional practices of psychiatry. In 1969, she released her seminal book On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families, which provided a grief model for people who were dying and for those they were leaving behind.
“Those who have the strength and the love to sit with a dying patient in the silence that goes beyond words will know that this moment is neither frightening nor painful, but a peaceful cessation of the functioning of the body.”
– quoted from On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Dr. Kübler-Ross explained from the beginning that her outline was not intended to be linear and yet, people wanted to be able to step through the stages with grace and ease. The problem with that mindset is… life is messy and so is grieving. A perfect example of the messiness of life and death can be found in Dr. Kübler-Ross’s own life… and death. In 1995, after a series of strokes which left her partially paralyzed on her left side, she found herself confronted with the reality of her own death. Added to her grief was the closing of Shanti Nilaya (“Final Home of Peace”), a healing and growth center which she had established in the later 1970’s (shortly before her divorce) after convincing her husband to buy 40-acres of land in Escondido, California.
Despite a 2002 interview with The Arizona Republic, where she stated that she was ready to die, Dr, Kübler-Ross struggled with the fact that she could not choose her own time of death. He son Ken, Founder and President of the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation, served as her caregiver for the last decade of her life. In a 2019 interview with the hosts of ABC Radio’s Life Matters, Ken said, “A few weeks before she passed she said to me, ‘Kenneth, I don’t want to die.’”
“It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.”
– quoted from Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Ken Ross admitted that he was taken aback by his mother’s statement that she did not want to die. It turned out, Dr. Kübler-Ross was not only physically paralyzed; she was also stuck in the anger stage of her own grief model. She caught flak in the media – as if she were somehow above being human simply because she had studied, taught, and spoken so openly and so frequently on the subject of death and dying. She did not stay there (in the anger stage), however, as her family and friends encouraged her to keep living and to keep processing the experience of dying. Her son even literally pushed her out of her comfort zone by assisting her in wheelchair marathons and in visiting her sisters in Europe.
“[She] let herself be loved and taken care of, then that was her final lesson — and then she was allowed to graduate. For years I thought about this and what I realized was that’s exactly what she teaches. [When] you learn your lessons you’re allowed to graduate.”
– Ken Ross in a 2019 “Life Matters” interview on ABC Radio National
“In Switzerland I was educated in line with the basic premise: work, work, work. You are only a valuable human being if you work. This is utterly wrong. Half working, half dancing – that is the right mixture. I myself have danced and played too little.”
– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. in an interview
Please join me for a 90-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Saturday, July 8th) at 12:00 PM. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) a joyfulpractice.com
Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “07082020 On Death & Dying”]
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
“Strange though it may seem to you, one of the most productive avenues for growth is found through the study and experience of death. Perhaps death reminds us that our time is limited and that we’d better accomplish our purpose here on earth before our time runs out. Whatever the reason….Those who have been immersed in the tragedy of massive death during wartime, and who have faced it squarely, never allowing their senses and feelings to become numbed and indifferent, have emerged from their experiences with growth and humanness greater than that achieved through almost any other means.”
– quoted from Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.
Revised 07/08/2023.
### “People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” EKR ###
Grace & FTWMI: What Dreams May Come (on May 6th) May 6, 2023
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Books, Changing Perspectives, Dharma, Donate, Faith, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Karma Yoga, Life, Music, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Volunteer, Wisdom, Women, Yoga.Tags: Anna O, Bertha Pappenheim, Carl Jung, dream interpretation, dreams, Electra, Josef Breuer, KISS MY ASANA, Oedipus, psychoanalysis, rabbits, Shastra, shastra kripa, Sigmund Freud, US movie, yoga, Yoga Sutra 1.10, Yoga Sutra 1.38
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Many blessings to everyone, and especially to anyone Counting the Omer!
“The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water.”
– possibly Sigmund Freud, as quoted in his New York Times obituary (09/24/1939)
Last week’s explanation of different traditions having different understandings of the meaning of shastra, might have induced fever dreams. However, the essence of the different meanings – as it relates to our practice and the concept of “grace of shastra” – is the same: Shastra is a collection of knowledge or laws of nature that are true, that have “always been and will always be” true, and that can be communicated directly. Some of the difference in meanings comes from how the knowledge or rules of nature are communicated – and to whom. Because, for some, the knowledge can only be communicated directly from the Divine to someone who has done the work to reach a certain state of enlightenment and/or awareness.
Of course, a teacher can then communicate the truth to others; however, those others must also do the work in order to truly understand the knowledge or precepts. Today, let’s consider one of the ways in which someone could initially and directly receive the truth. (Warning: Yoga Sūtra 1.10 is a bit of a caveat.)
Yoga Sūtra 1.38: svapna nidrā jñānālambanaṁ
– “Or by meditating on the knowledge gained from dreams and sleep, one acquires stability of mind.”
For Those Who Missed It: The following was originally posted on May 6, 2020. Other than moving the very first quote (above), I have added a link and updated the class details, but the content is the same.
“The conscious mind may be compared to a fountain playing in the sun and falling back into the great subterranean pool of subconscious from which it rises.”
– Sigmund Freud, as quoted in his New York Times obituary (09/24/1939)
“The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind.”
– from The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud
Let’s talk about our dreams. During this pandemic, some people have mentioned having particularly wild dreams – even when they weren’t sick. People have also talked about either remembering or not remembering their dreams, but in the opposite way than what is normal for them. I recently dreamed there was a brown rabbit sitting at the foot of my bed. It wasn’t doing anything; just hopped up and sat there for a bit. Not touching me, or biting me – not even really looking at me or wiggling its nose – just sitting there.
Prior to seeing the movie US, a dream like that would have had me running to search for Freud’s take on the symbolism of rabbits. Rather than going down that particular (and surprising) rabbit hole, let’s just stick with the work and the history.
Born today (May 6th) in 1856, Dr. Sigmund Freud was a neurologist who studied researched cerebral paralysis or cerebral palsy, as it is known today. In an attempt to better understand the workings of the brain, Freud collaborated with Dr. Josef Breuer, a physician who utilized a type of hypnosis very different from what Freud had previously studied. Breuer’s work, especially with a patient referred to as “Anna O,” laid the foundation for psychoanalysis – the development of which would lead to Freud’s legacy as the “Father of Psychoanalysis” and dream interpretation.
“…here we have another limitation to the effectiveness of analysis; after all, analysis does not set out to make pathological reaction impossible, but to give the patient’s ego freedom to decide one way or the other.”
– from The Ego and the Id by Sigmund Freud
“Psychoanalysis in the hands of the physician is what confession is in the hands of the Catholic priest. It depends on its user and its use, whether it becomes a beneficial tool or a two-edged sword.”
– Bertha Pappenheim (also known as “Anna O”)
Bertha Pappenheim (a.k.a. “Anna O” and “Only A Girl”) was a Jewish Austrian feminist, education organizer, and writer who was born into a wealthy and prestigious family. She was highly educated, cultured, and spoke multiple languages. She was immersed in a variety of cultures throughout her childhood. In her twenties, around the same time that her father became ill, she started experiencing a variety of physical and mental ailments. The ailments became worse after her father’s death. Breuer initially diagnosed her with hysteria (a pretty common diagnosis for women at that time, regardless of how they presented) and started her on a new type of hypnosis therapy. Rather than trying to cure or “correct” her, however, Breuer placed “Anna O” under hypnosis and encouraged her to talk in order to reveal the underlying causes of her symptoms. Breuer believed that the underlying causes were childhood traumas, suppressed memories, and suppressed thoughts. “Anna O’ referred to this therapy as her “talking cure” and it did in fact alleviate some of her symptoms and reduce the intensity of others. (NOTE: She discontinued her therapy with Breuer after accusing him of getting her pregnant; an accusation that is either not mentioned in either of their biographies or dismissed as a symptom of her illness. Later in life, as an educator, Pappenheim would not allow girls in her care to utilize the therapy that had become commonplace.)
By the time Freud (who never met Bertha Pappenheim) started collaborating with Breuer, he had pretty much given up on the possibility of hypnosis being a consistently viable treatment for his patients. Breuer’s method, however, was different and so Freud began to encourage his patients to speak freely about whatever came up in whatever manner it came up. He referred to this stream of consciousness as “free association” and eventually concluded that dreams were the key to the subconscious and repressed memories. His clinical experience evolved into the development of psychoanalysis.
“Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity.”
– Sigmund Freud
Keep in mind that during the bulk of this work on a new form of treatment, Freud himself was experiencing symptoms that, had he been a woman, would have led to a diagnosis of hysteria. Naturally, he started using his new treatment on himself and ultimately codified a system of symbols and dream interpretation that supported his theories about sexual development and its correlation to maturity; an understanding of “wish fulfillment” and the desires of the ego and super ego; his seduction theory, which explained certain neurosis as the result of repressed sexual trauma and abuse; and postulation of the Oedipus Complex, which he said manifested as “castration anxiety” in men and “penis envy” in women. (NOTE: Freud firmly dismissed Dr. Carl Jung’s discussions of an “Electra complex,” positing that there was one issue experienced by different genders in different ways, as opposed to multiple issues which could be experienced by any gender.)
As I started reading Freud at a tender age, I could go on like this all night… especially since the history is just as interesting as the clinical concepts. But, at some point I need to go to sleep – perchance to dream. And if you ask me if you’re in my dreams, the answer may surprise you. (Or not: after all, a little over half of small business professionals dream about work and the vast majority who dream of work, put those dreams into action when the wake. Keep that in mind next time you think I dreamed up a sequence.)
“Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.”
– from The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud
If you’re curious about what I might “dream up” next, please join me for a 90-minute virtual yoga practice on Zoom today (Saturday, May 6th) at 12:00 PM. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below or by emailing myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “05062020 What Dreams May Come”]
Yes! You can still click here to Kiss My Asana Now! (And, you can also still click here to join my team and get people to kiss [your] asana!)
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.”
– from a letter written by Sigmund Freud to Dr. Wilhelm Fleiss, otolaryngologist (dated 10/15/1897)
### SOMETIMES THE APPLE STAYS CLOSE TO THE TREE ###
FTWMI: Uncovering Layers to Reveal Truth (the “missing” Monday post) February 28, 2023
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Faith, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Mysticism, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Religion, Suffering, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Anna O, Bertha Pappenheim, Cooper Union, Dr. Irvin Yalom, Elizabeth KOULTON, Elizabeth Loentz, Glückel of Hamelnl, Jesse William Weik, Josef Breuer, Malchut, Noah Brooks, psychoanalysis, psychology, samskāras, Samyama, Sigmund Freud, slavery, Stephen Douglas, Virginia Satir, William H. Herndon, Yoga Sutras 3.4-3.6
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Many blessings to all, and especially to those observing Lent or preparing to observe Great Lent during this “Season for Non-violence” and all other seasons!
For Those Who Missed It: This “missing” post for Monday, February 27th is a revised version of a 2021 post. You can request a recording of either practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice. Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.)
Check the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming practices.
“This can already be seen in the different reception given a new citizen of the world. If the father or someone else asked what ‘it’ was after a successful birth, the answer might be either the satisfied report of a boy, or—with pronounced sympathy for the disappointment— ‘Nothing, a girl,’ or ‘Only a girl.’”
– Bertha Pappenheim as quoted in The Jewish Woman: New Perspectives, edited by Elizabeth Koultun
Imagine that, at a very early age, you are exposed to an idea. It doesn’t have to be a big idea, stated and codified in a systematic way. It could just be a simple statement. It could be an idea (or a statement) about age, gender, race, ethnicity, religious and/or political beliefs – it could even be an idea about height or weight or hair texture (or length) or skin and/or eye hue. Or maybe it’s a statement about ability. Either way, the moment that you are exposed to the idea, some part of you questions whether it is true and even considers the validity of the idea/statement based on the source. You may not be conscious of this questioning, but it happens – sometimes quickly, in a blink – and then, as you move forward, other things (and people) either confirm the veracity of the idea or invalidate the idea.
Now, imagine that you grow up with this idea and this idea, whether you feel it is directed at you or at people around you, becomes – on a certain level – the lens through which you view yourself and the world. You may not be conscious of this lens. In fact, in most cases, this bias (whether we view it as positive or negative) is unconscious… subterranean. In the Yoga Philosophy, saṃskāra is a Sanskrit word for mental “impressions,” that can also be defined as “idea, notion, conception.” Saṃskāra are the foundation or roots of our thoughts, words, and deeds. Neurologically speaking, we can think of them as hard-wired pathways that are sometimes such an integral part of us they make habitual responses to certain situations appear instinctual. They are the beginning of the best of us… and also the worst of us.
“The conscious mind may be compared to a fountain playing in the sun and falling back into the great subterranean pool of subconscious from which it rises.”
– Sigmund Freud, as quoted in his New York Times obituary (09/24/1939)
We all know that if we want to get to the root of a problem, we have to start at the surface – or start with what we can see – and dig deep. This is obvious, but it’s not easy. It’s not easy because, even knowing this very basic principle about where things begin, we can easily get distracted by fruit flies, rotting trunks, fungi, and beings throwing things at us from the tree limbs because we have worn out our welcome. We can just as easily get caught up in the beauty of the blossoms or the promise of a swing. We can also get defeated by all the work/effort that it takes to get to the bottom of things.
However, being distracted (or defeated) doesn’t change the fact that to get to the bottom of something, we have to literally get to the bottom of something. It also doesn’t change the fact that if we want to grow or build something – something that has a chance of withstanding the changing of the times – we have to build from the ground up. Nor does it change the fact that when we run into a problem – as we build a life, a business, and/or a home – we may not have to tear everything down and start over from scratch; however, we do have to trace back from the top to the bottom.
This very basic principle is the reason why existential therapists, like Virginia Satir and Irvin Yalom, said that the “presenting issue,” “surface problem,” and/or life’s “givens” were not the problem. Instead, they said that people’s problems are how they deal or cope with various elements in their lives. This is commonly understood today; but, in the 1950’s and 1960’s these were still groundbreaking theories. While modern psychotherapists (and even corporate change management specialists) continue to build on the efforts of those aforementioned therapists from the mid-1900’s, the roots of their work can be found in the work of Drs. Sigmund Freud and Josef Breuer and in the life and work of Bertha Pappenheim.
She would ultimately become a feminist, education organizer, activist, writer, and translator – whose work and life often appeared in newspapers. The works she translated into German include: Mary Wollstonecraft’s The Vindication of the Rights of Women; the Western Yiddish memoirs of her own ancestor, Glückel of Hamelnl; the “Women’s Talmud;” and other Old Yiddish texts (written for and/or by women). She also founded organizations like Jüdischer Frauenbund (JFB, the Jewish Women’s Association); served as the first president of JFB and as a board member of Bund Deutscher Frauenvereine (BDF, Federation of German Women’s Associations), when JFB joined the national organization; and also served as director of an orphanage for Jewish girls that was run by Israelitischer Frauenverein (Israelite Women’s Association). She even appeared onstage as her own ancestor in a play (that she produced) based on her version of Glückel’s memoirs. But before she made a name for herself through her efforts to improve the conditions of the world around her – especially the living and working conditions of the women and girls around her, Bertha Pappenheim was known to the psychoanalysis world as “Anna O” or “Only A Girl,” because of the work she did to improve her own internal conditions.
“Other details of Glückel’s life story doubtless also held great appeal for Pappenheim. As a survivor of mental illness and the inventor of the ‘talking cure,’ Pappenheim may also have been intrigued by Glückel’s disclosure that she started her memoirs as a sort of ‘writing cure’ to ward off ‘melancholy thoughts’ in the sleepless nights after her husband’s death.”
– quoted from Let Me Continue to Speak the Truth: Bertha Pappenheim as Author and Activist by Elizabeth Loentz
Born in Vienna on February 27, 1859, Bertha Pappenheim was the third daughter born into a wealthy and prestigious Jewish family, with Orthodox roots. She was born knowing that her family and her community prized sons over daughters, boys over girls. She was raised as was appropriate for her station in life – learning needlepoint and multiple languages and attending a Roman Catholic girls’ school while observing Jewish holidays. At the same time, she had to deal with the understandable emotions that came from knowing that one of her older sisters died in adolescence (before Pappenheim was born) and then experiencing the death of the second sister in adolescence (when Pappenheim was eight). Then there was the normal stress that occurred when her family moved into a primarily impoverished neighborhood (when she was eleven); the expected jealousy she felt when her younger brother went to high school (even though she had to leave school at sixteen, despite her curious mind – because of the whole being a girl thing); and then that whole being “just a girl” thing that loomed like a specter over many of her experiences.
Notice, I use words like “understandable,” “normal,” and “expected” to describe Pappenheim’s experiences and emotions. In her lived reality, however, her emotions were not recognized, acknowledged, nor honored as valid. In fact, as was common for the time and her station in life, her experiences were largely ignored… until there was a problem. Her “problems” initially presented themselves as physical and mental ailments: “a nervous cough, partial paralysis, severe neuralgia, anorexia, impaired sight and hearing, hydrophobia, frightening hallucinations, an alternation between two distinct states of consciousness, violent outbursts, and the inability to speak German, her native tongue.”
The presenting ailments started when her father became ill, when she was twenty-one, and worsened after her father died. She was diagnosed with “hysteria,” because… well, that was the most common diagnosis given to women at the time regardless of symptoms. As I mentioned on the anniversary of Freud’s birth, Breuer didn’t try to cure or “correct” the patient he would call Anna O. Instead, he started her under a new therapy he was trying out: he hypnotized her and encouraged her to talk in order to reveal the underlying causes of her symptoms. Pappenheim called it her “talking cure” or “chimney sweeping” and reported that it alleviated her symptoms. In theory (Breuer’s theory), it helped her get to the root of her problems.
“Psychoanalysis in the hands of the physician is what confession is in the hands of the Catholic priest. It depends on its user and its use, whether it becomes a beneficial tool or a two-edged sword.”
– Bertha Pappenheim (also known as “Anna O”)
Breuer’s “theory” became Freud’s “therapy.” But, take a moment to notice that these ideas about how the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind interact and manifest in our mind-body can actually be found in ancient texts like Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita, and even the Ashtavakra Gita – texts on systems and processing “therapies” that predate the births of everyone mentioned above! Patanjali even described obstacles and ailments which match up with Bertha Pappenheim’s symptoms. (Also interesting to note is the fact that modern medical scientists and historians, after reviewing her case, have diagnosed Pappenheim with everything from “complex partial seizures exacerbated by drug dependence” to tuberculosis meningitis to temporal lobe epilepsy.) Even more important than Pappenheim’s diagnosis is what she was able to achieve once she was able to get to (and address) the root of her problems – and the methods by which she got to the roots.
In describing his therapy methods in The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud wrote, “The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind.” Again, there is a parallel, as the entire 8-Limbed Philosophy of Yoga is sometimes called “Rāja Yoga” (literally “king union” or “chief union”), which is understood as “royal union.” Given her background, Bertha Pappenheim might have equated a royal path with the sefirot (or divine attribute) of Malchut, which is Queenship or Kingship on the Tree of Life and denotes mastery. While Rāja Yoga as a whole is full of tools for introspection, the ultimate tools are the last three limbs (dhāranā, dhyāna, samādhi) which combine to form the most powerful tool: Samyama, which is like a laser beam or a drill that lets you see beneath the surface.
Yoga Sūtra 3.4: trayam-ekatra samyama
– “Samyama is [the practice or integration of] the three together.”
Yoga Sūtra 3.5: taj-jayāt prajñālokah
– Through the mastery or achievement of Samyama comes higher consciousness or the light of knowledge.
Yoga Sūtra 3.6: tasya bhūmişu viniyogah
– It is to be applied or practiced in stages.
Yoga Sūtras 3.4 – 3.6 are not only instruction or guidance; they are also a warning from Patanjali. In short, no matter how excited or anxious we may get about the powers and abilities that can be achieved through the practice, it is best not to rush the practice or skip steps. Perhaps Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher Isherwood summarized it best in their commentary when they wrote, “It is no use attempting meditation before we have mastered concentration. It is no use trying to concentrate upon subtle objects until we are able to concentrate on gross ones. Any attempt to take a short cut to knowledge of this kind is exceedingly dangerous.”
The dangers are relatively obvious when we are dealing with certain poses. For instance, we would be ill-advised to practice a Sideways Floor Bow (Pārśva Dhanurāsana) if we have never practiced a regular Floor Bow (Dhanurāsana) – How would we even get into the pose?? And, it would not be very beneficial to attempt Floor Bow if a backbend like Locust (śalabhāsana) is not accessible. While we can easily see that in the physical examples, it can be a little harder to see when it comes to concepts and ideas. For instance, when we see something wrong in the world – and we know the roots of the problem – we may be in such a rush for other people to see what we see that we skip the steps that allow them to get it. Just as there is great power in the process, there is great power in being able to walk someone through the logical process.
“It only remains to say that his speech was devoid of all rhetorical imagery, with a marked suppression of the pyrotechnics of stump oratory. It was constructed with a view to the accuracy of statement, simplicity of language, and unity of thought. In some respects like a lawyer’s brief, it was logical, temperate in tone, powerful – irresistibly driving conviction home to men’s reasons and their souls.”
– quoted from Herndon’s Lincoln: The True Story of a Great Life (Volume 3) by William H. Herndon and Jesse William Weik
On February 27, 1860, the future President Abraham Lincoln gave a speech at Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art. The address essentially walked people towards the roots of the problem of slavery and the opposition to ending slavery in the United States. He started with the Declaration of Independence and the “intention” of the Founding Fathers. Then, he elucidated on the differences between Republican and Democratic views at that time. It was one of his longest speeches and one that required a great deal of research. Many historians agree that the Cooper Union address solidified Lincoln’s selection as the Republican nominee for President and, possibly, clinched his win. It was even printed in the newspapers and distributed as part of his campaign. (William Herndon, Lincoln’s law partner at the time, stated that while it may not have actually taken campaign workers three weeks to fact check the speech – since most of the facts came from single set of sources – the fact checking was no small endeavor.)
Lincoln’s Cooper Union address has been described as “stunningly effective” and one of the “most convincing political arguments ever made in [New York] City.” It did not, however, convince everyone; perhaps, in part, because while he went towards the roots, he didn’t really get to the bottom of the problem. The bottom of the problem being that, while the Founding Fathers recognized the problems and inhumanity of slavery, they compromised on the issue in order to gain the political leverage they needed to unanimously declare independence from Great Britain.
Lincoln was also willing to compromise – and in a similar fashion; however, he was very adamant in his belief that the original compromise was enacted with an understanding that slavery would end on its own (as a natural evolution of the country’s development) and/or that the there were means available for the Federal Government to step in and make the changes needed for the country to adhere to its founding principles.
“If any man at this day sincerely believes that a proper division of local from federal authority, or any part of the Constitution, forbids the Federal Government to control as to slavery in the federal territories, he is right to say so, and to enforce his position by all truthful evidence and fair argument which he can. But he has no right to mislead others, who have less access to history, and less leisure to study it, into the false belief that ‘our fathers who framed the Government under which we live’ were of the same opinion – thus substituting falsehood and deception for truthful evidence and fair argument. If any man at this day sincerely believes ‘our fathers who framed the Government under which we live,’ used and applied principles, in other cases, which ought to have led them to understand that a proper division of local from federal authority or some part of the Constitution, forbids the Federal Government to control as to slavery in the federal territories, he is right to say so. But he should, at the same time, brave the responsibility of declaring that, in his opinion, he understands their principles better than they did themselves; and especially should he not shirk that responsibility by asserting that they ‘understood the question just as well, and even better, than we do now.’”
– quoted from Abraham Lincoln’s address at Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, February 27. 1860 (during which he repeatedly quotes a statement made by Senator Stephen Douglas)
There is no music for the Common Ground Meditation Center practice.
The playlist used in 2021 is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “05062020 What Dreams May Come”]
“This is the testimony of one who was present on that historic occasion: ‘When Lincoln rose to speak, I was greatly disappointed. He was tall, tall, – oh, how tall, and so angular and awkward that I had, for an instant, a feeling of pity for so ungainly a man. His clothes were black and ill-fitting, badly wrinkled – as if they had been jammed carelessly into a trunk. His bushy head, with the stiff black hair thrown back, was balanced on a long and lean head-stalk, and when he raised his hands in an opening gesture, I noticed that they were very large. He began in a low tone of voice – as if he were used to speaking out-doors, and was afraid of speaking too loud…. But pretty soon he began to get into his subject; he straightened up, made regular and graceful gestures; his face lighted up as with an inward fire; the whole man was transfigured. I forgot his clothes, his personal appearance, and his individual peculiarities. Presently, forgetting myself, I was on my feet like the rest, yelling…. When he reached the climax, the thunders of applause were terrific. It was a great speech. When I came out of the hall, my face was glowing with excitement and my frame all a-quiver, a friend with his eyes aglow, asked me what I thought of Abe Lincoln, the rail-splitter. I said: “He’s the greatest man since St. Paul.” And I think so yet.’”
– quoted from Abraham Lincoln and the Downfall American Slavery by Noah Brooks (published 1888)
### “The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water.” ~ SF, maybe ###
Uncovering Layers to Reveal Truth (the “missing” Saturday post) March 2, 2021
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, Depression, Faith, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, Mysticism, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Religion, Suffering, Wisdom, Women, Writing, Yoga.Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Anna O, Bertha Pappenheim, Cooper Union, Dr. Irvin Yalom, Elizabeth KOULTON, Elizabeth Loentz, Glückel of Hamelnl, Jesse William Weik, Josef Breuer, Malchut, Noah Brooks, psychoanalysis, psychology, samskaras, Samyama, Sigmund Freud, slavery, Stephen Douglas, Virginia Satir, William H. Herndon, Yoga Sutras 3.4-3.6
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Many blessings to those observing Lent or the 19-Day Fast!
[This is the post for Saturday, February 27th. You can request an audio recording of Saturday’s practice via a comment below or (for a slightly faster reply) you can email me at myra (at) ajoyfulpractice.com.
In the spirit of generosity (“dana”), the Zoom classes, recordings, and blog posts are freely given and freely received. If you are able to support these teachings, please do so as your heart moves you. (NOTE: You can donate even if you are “attending” a practice that is not designated as a “Common Ground Meditation Center” practice, or you can purchase class(es). Donations are tax deductible; class purchases are not necessarily deductible.
Check out the “Class Schedules” calendar for upcoming classes.]
“This can already be seen in the different reception given a new citizen of the world. If the father or someone else asked what ‘it’ was after a successful birth, the answer might be either the satisfied report of a boy, or—with pronounced sympathy for the disappointment— ‘Nothing, a girl,’ or ‘Only a girl.’”
– Bertha Pappenheim as quoted in The Jewish Woman: New Perspectives, edited by Elizabeth Koultun
Imagine that, at a very early age, you are exposed to an idea. It doesn’t have to be a big idea, stated and codified in a systematic way. It could just be a statement. It could just be an idea (or a statement) about age, gender, race, ethnicity, religious and/or political beliefs – it could even be an idea about height or weight or hair texture (or length) or skin and/or eye hue. In the moment that you are exposed to the idea, some part of you questions whether it is true and even considers the validity of the idea/statement based on the source. You may not be conscious of this questioning, but it happens – sometimes quickly, in a blink – and then, as you move forward, other things (and people) either confirm the veracity or the idea or invalidate the idea.
Now, imagine that you grow up with this idea and this idea, whether you feel it is directed at you or at people around you, becomes – on a certain level – the lens through which you view yourself and the world. You may not be conscious of this lens. In fact, in most cases, this bias (whether we view it as positive or negative) is unconscious… subterranean. In the Yoga Philosophy, samskaras are mental impressions and they are the foundation or roots of our thoughts, words, and deeds. Neurologically speaking, we can think of them as hard-wired pathways that are such an integral part of us they make habitual responses to certain situations appear instinctual. They are the beginning of the best of us… and also the worst of us.
“The conscious mind may be compared to a fountain playing in the sun and falling back into the great subterranean pool of subconscious from which it rises.”
– Sigmund Freud, as quoted in his New York Times obituary (09/24/1939)
We all know that if we want to get to the root of a problem, we have to start at the surface – or start with what we can see – and dig deep. This is obvious, but it’s not easy. It’s not easy because, even knowing this very basic principle about where things begin, we can easily get distracted by fruit flies, rotting trunks, fungi, and beings throwing things at us from the tree limbs because we have worn out our welcome. We can just as easily get caught up in the beauty of the blossoms and the promise of a swing. We can also get defeated by all the work/effort that it takes to get to the bottom of things.
However, being distracted (or defeated) doesn’t change the fact that to get to the bottom of something, we have to literally get to the bottom of something. It also doesn’t change the fact that if we want to grow or build something, that has a chance of withstanding the changing of the times, we have to build from the ground up. Nor does it change the fact the fact that when we run into a problem – as we build a life, a business, and/or a home – we may not have to tear everything down and start over from scratch; but we do have to trace back from the top to the bottom.
This very basic principle is the reason why existential therapists, like Virginia Satir and Irvin Yalom said that the “presenting issue,” “surface problem,” and/or life’s “givens” were not the problem; rather, people’s problems are how they deal or cope with various elements in their lives. This is commonly understood today, but in the 1950’s and 1960’s these still groundbreaking theories. While modern psychotherapists (and even corporate change management specialists) continue to build on the efforts of those aforementioned therapists from the mid-1900’s, the roots of their work can be found in the work of Drs. Sigmund Freud and Josef Breuer and in the life and work of Bertha Pappenheim.
She would ultimately become a feminist, education organizer, activist, writer, and translator – whose work and life often appeared in newspapers. She would translate Mary Wollstonecraft’s The Vindication of the Rights of Women; the Western Yiddish memoirs of her own ancestor, Glückel of Hamelnl; the “Women’s Talmud; and other Old Yiddish texts (written for and/or by women) into German. She also founded organizations like Jüdischer Frauenbund (JFB, the Jewish Women’s Association); served as the first president of JFB and a board member of Bund Deutscher Frauenvereine (BDF, Federation of German Women’s Associations), when JFB joined the national organization; and also as director of an orphanage for Jewish girls that was run by Israelitischer Frauenverein (Israelite Women’s Association). She even appeared onstage as her ancestor in a play (that she produced) based on her Glückel’s memoirs. But before she made a name for herself through her efforts to improve the conditions and the world around her – especially the living and working conditions of the women and girls around her, Bertha Pappenheim was known to the psychoanalysis world as “Anna O” or “Only A Girl,” because of the work she did to improve her internal conditions.
“Other details of Glückel’s life story doubtless also held great appeal for Pappenheim. As a survivor of mental illness and the inventor of the ‘talking cure,’ Pappenheim may also have been intrigued by Glückel’s disclosure that she started her memoirs as a sort of ‘writing cure’ to ward off ‘melancholy thoughts’ in the sleepless nights after her husband’s death.”
– quoted from Let Me Continue to Speak the Truth: Bertha Pappenheim as Author and Activist by Elizabeth Loentz
Born in Vienna on February 27, 1859, Bertha Pappenheim was the third daughter born into a wealthy and prestigious Jewish family, with Orthodox roots, and she was born knowing that her family and her community prized sons over daughters, boys over girls. She was raised as was appropriate for her station in life – learning needlepoint and multiple languages and attending a Roman Catholic girls’ school while observing Jewish holidays. At the same time, she had to deal with the understandable emotions that came from knowing that one of her older sisters died in adolescence (before Pappenheim was born) and then experiencing the death of the second sister in adolescence (when Pappenheim was eight). Then there was the normal stress that occurred when her family moved into a primarily improvised neighborhood (when she was eleven); the expected jealousy she felt when her younger brother went to high school (even though she had to leave school at sixteen, despite her curious mind, because of the whole being a girl thing); and then that whole being “just a girl” thing that loomed like a specter over many of her experiences.
Notice, I use words like “understandable,” “normal,” and “expected” to describe Pappenheim’s emotions, but the reality is that her emotions were not recognized, acknowledged, nor honored as valid. In fact, as was common for the time and her station in life, her experiences were largely ignored… until there was a problem. Her “problems” initially presented themselves as physical and mental ailments: “a nervous cough, partial paralysis, severe neuralgia, anorexia, impaired sight and hearing, hydrophobia, frightening hallucinations, an alternation between two distinct states of consciousness, violent outbursts, and the inability to speak German, her native tongue.”
The presenting ailments started when her father became ill, when she was twenty-one, and worsened after her father died. She was diagnosed with “hysteria,” because… well, that was the most common diagnosis given to women at the time regardless of symptoms. As I mentioned on the anniversary of Freud’s birth, Breuer didn’t try to cure or “correct” the patient he would call Anna O. Instead, he started her under a new therapy he was trying out: he hypnotized her and encouraged her to talk in order to reveal the underlying causes of her symptoms. Pappenheim called it her “talking cure” or “chimney sweeping” and reported that it alleviated her symptoms. In theory (Breuer’s theory), it helped her get to the root of her problems.
“Psychoanalysis in the hands of the physician is what confession is in the hands of the Catholic priest. It depends on its user and its use, whether it becomes a beneficial tool or a two-edged sword.”
– Bertha Pappenheim (also known as “Anna O”)
Breuer’s “theory” became Freud’s “therapy.” But, take a moment to notice that these ideas about how the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind interact and manifest in our mind-body can actually be found in ancient texts like Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita, and even the Ashtavakra Gita – texts on systems and processing “therapies” that predate the births of everyone mentioned above! Patanjali even described obstacles and ailments which match up with Bertha Pappenheim’s symptoms. (Also interesting to note is the fact that modern medical scientists and historians, after reviewing her case, have diagnosed Pappenheim with everything from “complex partial seizures exacerbated by drug dependence” to tuberculosis meningitis to temporal lobe epilepsy.) More important, even, than Pappenheim’s diagnosis is what she was able to achieve once she was able to get to (and address) the root of her problems.
In describing the methods of his therapy in The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud wrote, “The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind.” The entire system of the 8-Limbed Philosophy of Yoga is sometimes called “Rāja Yoga” (literally “king union” or “chief union”), which is understood as royal union. Given her background, Bertha Pappenheim might have equated it with the sefirot (or divine attribute) of Malchut, which is Queenship or Kingship on the Tree of Life and denotes mastery. While the system as a whole is full of tools for introspection, the ultimate tools are the last three limbs (dhāranā, dhyāna, samādhi) which combine to form the most powerful tool: Samyama, which is like a laser beam or a drill that lets you see beneath the surface.
Yoga Sūtra 3.4: trayam-ekatra samyama
– “Samyama is [the practice or integration of] the three together.”
Yoga Sūtra 3.5: taj-jayāt prajñālokah
– Through the mastery or achievement of Samyama comes higher consciousness or the light of knowledge.
Yoga Sūtra 3.6: tasya bhūmişu viniyogah
– It is to be applied or practiced in stages.
This week’s sūtras are not only instruction or guidance, but also a warning from Patanjali. In short, no matter how excited or anxious we may get about the powers and abilities that can be achieved through the practice, it is best not to rush the practice or skip steps. Perhaps Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher Isherwood summarized it best in their commentary when they wrote, “It is no use attempting meditation before we have mastered concentration. It is no use trying to concentrate upon subtle objects until we are able to concentrate on gross ones. Any attempt to take a short cut to knowledge of this kind is exceedingly dangerous.”
The dangers are relatively obvious when we are dealing with certain poses. For instance, we would be ill advised to a Sideways Floor Bow (Pārśva Dhanurāsana) if we have never practiced a regular Floor Bow (Dhanurāsana) – how would we even get into the pose?? And, it would not be very beneficial to attempt Floor Bow if a backbend like Locust (śalabhāsana) is not accessible. While we can easily see that in the physical example, it can be a little harder to see when it comes to concepts and ideas. For instance, when we see something wrong in the world and we can see the root of the problem, we may be in such a rush for other people to see what we see that we skip the steps that allow them to get it. Just as there is great power in the process, there is great power in being able to walk someone through the process.
“It only remains to say that his speech was devoid of all rhetorical imagery, with a marked suppression of the pyrotechnics of stump oratory. It was constructed with a view to the accuracy of statement, simplicity of language, and unity of thought. In some respects like a lawyer’s brief, it was logical, temperate in tone, powerful – irresistibly driving conviction home to men’s reasons and their souls.”
– quoted from Herndon’s Lincoln: The True Story of a Great Life (Volume 3) by William H. Herndon and Jesse William Weik
On February 27, 1860, the future President Abraham Lincoln gave a speech at Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art. The address essentially walked people towards the roots of the problem of slavery and the opposition to ending slavery in the United States. He started with the Declaration of Independence and the “intention” of the Founding Fathers and then elucidated on the differences between Republican and Democratic views at that time. It was one of his longest speeches and one that required a great deal of research. Many historians agree the Cooper Union address solidified Lincoln’s selection as the Republican nominee for President and, possibly, clinched his win. It was even printed in the newspapers and distributed as part of his campaign. (William Herndon, Lincoln’s law partner at the time, stated that while it may not have actually taken campaign workers three weeks to fact check the speech – since most of the facts came from single set of sources – the fact checking was no small endeavor.)
Lincoln’s Cooper Union address has been described as “stunningly effective” and one of the “most convincing political arguments ever made in [New York] City. It did not, however, convince everyone; perhaps, in part, because while he went towards the roots, he didn’t really get to the bottom of the problem. The bottom of the problem being that, while the Founding Fathers recognized the problems and inhumanity of slavery, they compromised on the issue in order to gain the political leverage they needed to unanimously declare independence from Great Britain. Lincoln was also willing to compromise in a similar fashion; however, he was very adamant in his belief that the original compromise was enacted with an understanding that slavery would end on its own (as a natural evolution of the country’s development) and/or that the there were means available for the Federal Government to step in and make the change that was needed for the country to adhere to its founding principles.
“If any man at this day sincerely believes that a proper division of local from federal authority, or any part of the Constitution, forbids the Federal Government to control as to slavery in the federal territories, he is right to say so, and to enforce his position by all truthful evidence and fair argument which he can. But he has no right to mislead others, who have less access to history, and less leisure to study it, into the false belief that ‘our fathers who framed the Government under which we live’ were of the same opinion – thus substituting falsehood and deception for truthful evidence and fair argument. If any man at this day sincerely believes ‘our fathers who framed the Government under which we live,’ used and applied principles, in other cases, which ought to have led them to understand that a proper division of local from federal authority or some part of the Constitution, forbids the Federal Government to control as to slavery in the federal territories, he is right to say so. But he should, at the same time, brave the responsibility of declaring that, in his opinion, he understands their principles better than they did themselves; and especially should he not shirk that responsibility by asserting that they ‘understood the question just as well, and even better, than we do now.’”
– quoted from Abraham Lincoln’s address at Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, February 27. 1860 (during which he repeatedly quotes a statement by Senator Stephen Douglas)
Saturday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. [Look for “05062020 What Dreams May Come”]
“This is the testimony of one who was present on that historic occasion: ‘When Lincoln rose to speak, I was greatly disappointed. He was tall, tall, – oh, how tall, and so angular and awkward that I had, for an instant, a feeling of pity for so ungainly a man. His clothes were black and ill-fitting, badly wrinkled – as if they had been jammed carelessly into a trunk. His bushy head, with the stiff black hair thrown back, was balanced on a long and lean head-stalk, and when he raised his hands in an opening gesture, I noticed that they were very large. He began in a low tone of voice – as if he were used to speaking out-doors, and was afraid of speaking too loud…. But pretty soon he began to get into his subject; he straightened up, made regular and graceful gestures; his face lighted up as with an inward fire; the whole man was transfigured. I forgot his clothes, his personal appearance, and his individual peculiarities. Presently, forgetting myself, I was on my feet like the rest, yelling…. When he reached the climax, the thunders of applause were terrific. It was a great speech. When I came out of the hall, my face was glowing with excitement and my frame all a-quiver, a friend with his eyes aglow, asked me what I thought of Abe Lincoln, the rail-splitter. I said: “He’s the greatest man since St. Paul.” And I think so yet.’”
– quoted from Abraham Lincoln and the Downfall American Slavery by Noah Brooks (published 1888)
MAKE SURE YOU’VE SAVED THE DATE! This Friday (March 5th) is the next “First Friday Night Special! Join me (7:15 PM – 8:20 PM, CST) to “give something up” / “let someone go.” Additional details are posted on the “Class Schedules” calendar!
### “The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water.” ~ SF, maybe ###
Contemplating Death, Dying, and All the Living in Between July 8, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in "Impossible" People, Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Healing Stories, Health, Hope, Life, One Hoop, Pain, Peace, Philosophy, Science, Suffering, Tragedy, Vairagya, Wisdom, Women, Writing.Tags: Death, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Ken Ross, Life, meditation, On Death and Dying, On Grief and Grieving, Philosophy, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh, yoga
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“If we could raise one generation with unconditional love, there would be no Hitlers. We need to teach the next generation of children from Day One that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear.”
– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D.
“I cannot leave out the problem of life and death. Many young people and others have come out to serve others and to labor for peace, through their love for all who are suffering. They are always mindful of the fact that the most important question is the question of life and death, but often not realizing that life and death are but two faces of one reality. Once we realize that we will have the courage to encounter both of them….
Now I see that if one doesn’t know how to die, one can hardly know how to live—because death is a part of life.”
– quoted from The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation by Thích Nhất Hạnh
Today’s post and class will be tricky for some. Today’s theme is always tricky for some. Although, I would assert that it shouldn’t be. After all, death is part of life. That can come off glib and easy to say – specifically because it is a little glib, or shallow, because it belies the fact that loss is hard and that most of us haven’t/don’t really face the concept of death until we (or someone we love) is dying. The statement “death is part of life” is also shallow because it belies the fact that, even if we meditate on and prepare for death, loss is still hard. Yes, death and dying are something that we all have to deal with, but to just leave it at that is what makes the subject tricky. We have to, as Thích Nhất Hạnh instructs in The Miracle of Mindfulness, go deeper.
“The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one[s] we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or goes in a prescribed order.”
– quoted from On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler
Born in Zürich, Switzerland today in 1926, Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was the oldest triplet in a family of Protestant Christians. Despite her father’s wishes, she grew up to be a psychiatrist known for her work on death and dying, life and death, and the five stages of grief. Her ultimate work was in part inspired by her work with refugees in Zürich during World War II. After the war, she participated in relief efforts in Poland and, at some point, visited the Maidanek concentration camp in Poland. As a young woman, standing in a place of destruction, she was struck by the compassion and human resilience that would inspire someone to carve hundreds of butterflies into the walls of the death camp.
Dr. Kübler-Ross originally planned on being a pediatrician. However, she married a fellow medical student (in New York in 1958) and became pregnant. The pregnancy resulted in the loss of her pediatrics residency, so she switched to psychiatry. Unfortunately, she also suffered two miscarriages before giving birth to two children. The loss of her residency and her miscarriages were not her first (or last) experiences with loss. Her marriage ended in divorce and, when she attempted to build a Virginia hospice for infants and children with HIV/AIDS, someone set fire to her home (in 1994). The house and all of the belongings inside were lost to arson.
When she started her psychiatry residency, Dr. Kübler-Ross was struck by the way hospitals in the United States treated patients who were dying. She began to host lectures where medical students were forced to meet and listen to dying people outside of a clinical setting. Her intention was to get medical students to “[react] like human beings instead of scientists…and be able to treat [terminal patients] with compassion the same compassion that you would want for yourself.” As she moved through her career, she continued hosting the series of seminars which used interviews with terminally ill patients. Her work was met with both praise and criticism – most of the latter was because she was so obviously questioning the traditional practices of psychiatry. In 1969, she released her seminal book On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families, which provided a grief model for people who were dying and for those they were leaving behind.
“Those who have the strength and the love to sit with a dying patient in the silence that goes beyond words will know that this moment is neither frightening nor painful, but a peaceful cessation of the functioning of the body.”
– quoted from On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Dr. Kübler-Ross explained from the beginning that her outline was not intended to be linear and yet, people wanted to be able to step through the stages with grace and ease. The problem with that mindset is… life is messy and so is grieving. A perfect example of the messiness of life and death can be found in Dr. Kübler-Ross’s own life… and death. In 1995, after a series of strokes which left her partially paralyzed on her left side, she found herself confronted with the reality of her own death. Added to her grief was the closing of Shanti Nilaya (“Final Home of Peace”), a healing and growth center which she had established in the later 1970’s (shortly before her divorce) after convincing her husband to buy 40-acres of land in Escondido, California.
Despite a 2002 interview with The Arizona Republic, where she stated that she was ready to die, Dr, Kübler-Ross struggled with the fact that she could not choose her own time of death. He son Ken, Founder and President of the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation, served as her caregiver for the last decade of her life. In a 2019 interview with the hosts of ABC Radio’s Life Matters, Ken said, “A few weeks before she passed she said to me, ‘Kenneth, I don’t want to die.’”
“It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.”
– quoted from Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Ken Ross admitted that he was taken aback by his mother’s statement that she did not want to die. It turned out, Dr. Kübler-Ross was not only physically paralyzed; she was also stuck in the anger stage of her own grief model. She caught flak in the media – as if she were somehow above being human simply because she had studied, taught, and spoken so openly and so frequently on the subject of death and dying. She did not stay there (in the anger stage), however, as her family and friends encouraged her to keep living and to keep processing the experience of dying. Her son even literally pushed her out of her comfort zone by assisting her in wheelchair marathons and in visiting her sisters in Europe.
“[She] let herself be loved and taken care of, then that was her final lesson — and then she was allowed to graduate. For years I thought about this and what I realized was that’s exactly what she teaches. [When] you learn your lessons you’re allowed to graduate.”
– Ken Ross in a 2019 “Life Matters” interview on ABC Radio National
“In Switzerland I was educated in line with the basic premise: work, work, work. You are only a valuable human being if you work. This is utterly wrong. Half working, half dancing – that is the right mixture. I myself have danced and played too little.”
– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. in an interview
Please join me today (Wednesday, July 8th) at 4:30 PM or 7:15 PM for a yoga practice on Zoom, where there will be work, dance, and play. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You will need to register for the 7:15 PM class if you have not already done so. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
“Strange though it may seem to you, one of the most productive avenues for growth is found through the study and experience of death. Perhaps death reminds us that our time is limited and that we’d better accomplish our purpose here on earth before our time runs out. Whatever the reason….Those who have been immersed in the tragedy of massive death during wartime, and who have faced it squarely, never allowing their senses and feelings to become numbed and indifferent, have emerged from their experiences with growth and humanness greater than that achieved through almost any other means.”
– quoted from Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Revised 07/08/2023.
### “People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” EKR ###
Here Be The Wild Things June 10, 2020
Posted by ajoyfulpractice in Art, Books, Changing Perspectives, Faith, Healing Stories, Life, Music, Pain, Philosophy, Religion, Suffering, Vairagya, Wisdom, Writing, Yoga.Tags: addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, Anne Smith, asana, Bill Wilson, disability, Dr. Bob Smith, Eugene Glenn, G. Alan Marlatt, Holocaust, In the Night Kitchen, Loss, Maurice Sendak, Mindfulness, Outside Over There, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, recovery, Richard Gottlieb, Stanton Peele, survivors, trauma, Where The Wild Things Are, yoga practice
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“And so we have…this critical problem as human beings of seeing to it that the mythology—the constellation of sign signals, affect images, energy-releasing and -directing signs—that we are communicating to our young will deliver directive messages qualified to relate them richly and vitally to the environment that is to be theirs for life, and not to some period of man already past, some piously desiderated future, or—what is worst of all—some querulous, freakish sect or momentary fad. And I call this problem critical because, when it is badly resolved, the result for the miseducated individual is what is known, in mythological terms, as a Waste Land situation. The world does not talk to him; he does not talk to the world. When that is the case, there is a cut-off, the individual is thrown back on himself, and he is in prime shape for that psychotic break-away that will turn him into either an essential schizophrenic in a padded cell, or a paranoid screaming slogans at large, in a bughouse without walls.”
– from A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living by Joseph Campbell
How do we keep from becoming, to paraphrase Joseph Campbell, a screaming paranoid person? How do we face trauma, loss, and disability with a smile on our face, as Wayman Tisdale did? Maybe we have to go all the way back to the womb to figure out why some people survive the challenging circumstances they face in life. Maybe we have to go back even farther than that to see why some people just inherently know how to stay connected to their “inside stuff” even when life throws them one curve ball after another fast ball. Whatever the reason some people rebound and some people don’t (or don’t as easily as others), trying to figure out that reason has fascinated people since the beginning of time.
Children’s book author and illustrator Maurice Sendak, born today in 1928, in Brooklyn, New York, once said, “I only have one subject. The question I am obsessed with is: How do children survive?” Like the poets mentioned during Sunday’s class (06/07/2020), Sendak wrote about what he saw – and what he saw was a family decimated by the Holocaust and trying to acclimate to a new country and a new culture. He saw kids being kids, being alive and full of so much life despite the overwhelming and pervasive feeling of perpetual mourning. The adults called the unruly children “vilde chaya,” which is Yiddish for “wild animal.” Sendak turned it into “wild things” and wrote a children’s book that become the center of a trilogy about (you guessed it) how children survive and thrive.
“I grew up in a house that was in a constant state of mourning.”
– Maurice Sendak in a 2002 interview with children’s book historian Leonard Marcus
“’And now,’ cried Max, ‘let the wild rumpus start!’”
– from Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
Where The Wild Things Are, published in 1963, tells the story of preschool-age Max who, as adults would have said during my childhood, gets a little too big for his britches. He is sent to his room without his dinner because he can’t behave and, as children do, he lets his imagination take over. His bedroom becomes a magical land full of wild animals, beasts, monsters….
My amazing friend Julie K just sent me a recent essay in The New Yorker about metaphorical monsters. I found it problematic because the identity of the monsters is too vague. Sendak, however, was always very clear; the monsters in his first book were the perpetually mourning and stern adults in his family. He just exaggerated them into something endearingly grotesque. As Max manages his emotions, becoming “king of all wild things” (a. k. a. the “most wild thing of all”), he finds his way back to the regular world. Managing one’s emotions, it turns out, is the secret to making one’s way back to the regular world.
“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again. You really don’t have a sacred space, a rescue land, until you find somewhere to be that’s not a wasteland, some field of action where there is a spring of ambrosia—a joy that comes from inside, not something external that puts joy into you—a place that lets you experience your own will and your own intention and your own wish so that, in small, the Kingdom is there. I think everybody, whether they know it or not, is in need of such a place.”
– from A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living by Joseph Campbell
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen.”
– from Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
As I mentioned before, Where The Wild Things Are was the first of a three-part series to be published, but it is actually the centerpiece to the trilogy. In The Night Kitchen (published in 1970) follows toddler-age Mickey as he falls, naked, into the Night Kitchen, where he has to avoid getting baked into the cake batter and eaten up. Max, again, is preschool-age. Outside Over There (published in 1981) features pre-adolescent Ida, who shirks her responsibility and then has to face the consequences of making things right. It is interesting to note that while there is always a symbol of a mother and evidence of a mother’s love in all three books, Ida is the only real-live human girl featured prominently in the books and she is given (in the book) the mother’s role of caregiver – a role she initially fails to take seriously.
“When Papa was away at sea and Mama in the arbor, Ida played her wonder horn to rock the baby still – but never watched.”
– from Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak
Maurice Sendak’s trilogy is recognized as a series which traces the psychological development of children. Each protagonist has age appropriate responsibilities, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Each protagonist also has to navigate and find balance between the (age appropriate) expectations of the simultaneously present yet absent parent(s) and their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. One of the emotions that figures prominently, especially in Where The Wild Things Are, is rage and one of the themes that figures prominently in the books is how to manage emotions like rage. Because, as I sated before, managing one’s emotions is the secret to making one’s way back to the regular world. It is the boon, as it were, of this particular hero’s journey/cycle.
“But it is more than mere survival that Sendak aspires to, for his children and for himself. He asks the question of resilience: How do children surmount and transform in order to prosper and create? It is tempting to imagine that Sendak conceives of the trajectory of his own life and art as a model for the way he has handled these questions in his works.”
– from a 2009 The Psychologist article by psychoanalyst Richard Gottlieb
When Where The Wild Things Are was turned into a movie, therapists like Richard Gottlieb offered their clinical take on the book and the movie. Psychoanalyst and attorney Stanton Peele noted in a 2009 article for Psychology Today that Dr. G. Alan Marlatt, a psychologist who focused on addiction, “specifically developed mindfulness as a relapse prevention technique, one that assists addicted people to combat cravings. In brief, a user may imagine the urge to use again as a physical challenge – like a wave – that he or she rides out.” Then, Peele called Sendak’s work “a model of mindfulness.” For his part, Gottlieb did not think it was an accident that Sendaks’ work was so psychologically applicable. In fact, he specifically highlights various “psychological proddings and teachings” which influenced Sendak’s life – including the fact that his partner (for over 50 years) was psychoanalyst Eugene Glenn – and shares bits of conversations with colleagues who also see the value in the book.
“I’m not the milk and the milk’s not me. I’m Mickey!”
– Mickey in In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
Call it a coincidence, a coinkydink, God winking, or serendipity, but it is interesting to note that Maurice Sendak, whose seminal book has been hailed and praised by addiction experts, was born on the anniversary of Dr. Bob Smith’s last drink, which is also the anniversary of Alcoholics Anonymous. Today in 1935, Bill Wilson and Smith’s wife Anne gave a severely hung-over Smith (a. k. a. “Dr. Bob”) a beer so that he would be “steady enough” to go into surgery. Hours beyond when the surgery should have ended, Smith announced that yes, the surgery was successful and that he had spent the remaining time reaching out to creditors and others he had hurt when he was drinking. Founded by Smith and Wilson, with support from Smith’s wife Anne, Alcoholics Anonymous is a 12-step rehabilitation program that has helped some people cope with alcoholism. It is also the model for other 12-step programs. While I have not counted the steps as they apply to Maurice Sendak’s work, there are very definite parallels in the way the main characters acknowledge their problems, turn inward, and offer restitution and express remorse. There are also, in the books and in recovery, humongous amounts of love and forgiveness (in particular, self-love and self-forgiveness).
“Quiet down there!”
– Mickey In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
“If Ida backwards in the rain would only turn around again and catch those goblins with a tune, she’d spoil their kidnap honeymoon!”
– Papa’s song in Outside Over There
Please join me today (Wednesday, June 10th) at 4:30 PM or 7:15 PM for a practice inspired by the inner workings of a child’s heart and mind. Use the link from the “Class Schedules” calendar if you run into any problems checking into the class. You will need to register for the 7:15 PM class if you have not already done so. Give yourself extra time to log in if you have not upgraded to Zoom 5.0. You can request an audio recording of this practice via a comment below.
Since music soothes the wild beasts, the goblins, and the cooks, Wednesday’s playlist is available on YouTube and Spotify. (NOTE: YouTube is the original playlist and includes the video below.)
My all time favorite rendition!
A Joyful Practice 