One might describe today’s yogi as a peaceful warrior, a mindful warrior, a handy warrior, or even a loving and kind warrior. There could even be some times in his life when he’s a fierce warrior. However, I most often think of Kevin as a curious and insightful warrior. And curiosity and insight go hand in hand.
While he did not directly inspire my Kiss My Asana questions, I knew I was on the right track when – soon after I made my decision to ask these questions – I heard Kevin telling a mutual friend about A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life by Brian Grazer and Charles Fishman. Grazer’s weekly “curiosity conversations” have inspired him to create and produce TV shows like 24 and Arrested Development, and movies like A Beautiful Mind and Splash. I haven’t read the book (yet), but I love the results.
The goal of A Curious Mind is simple: I want to show you how valuable curiosity can be and remind you how much fun it is. I want to show you how I use it, and how you can to use it.
Life isn’t about finding the answers, it’s about asking the questions.” – Brian Grazer
My conversation with Kevin continued long after the camera stopped rolling. (Wait; does that idiom even make sense when I’m using a smart phone?)
Part of our continued conversation included questions he had for me, but most of it centered around the Movember classes I do on Men’s Health. So, as a thank you to Kevin and a KISS MY ASANA extra, today’s video includes one of my Movember playlists. Can I get a “Woop woop!” on YouTube?
“Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
I am a curious person by nature, and it is an attribute of my personality that was nourished when I was a child. So, it’s no surprise that my favorite letter to a young poet contains advice on questions and answers. What often surprises people, however, is when I explain that I didn’t take yoga teacher training so that I could teach – I took it so I could help answer questions.
When I started practicing yoga in Houston, I would constantly encounter family, friends, and even strangers whose main intersection with yoga was me. Naturally, these people had questions. These questions might start off simple: What do you like about yoga? How often do you do yoga?
But, before long the conversation veered outside my pay grade*: (1) Can I (or Should I) do yoga if I have high or low blood pressure? (2) I can’t do yoga because I have arthritis, right? (3) Is yoga bad for me or my unborn baby? (4) What do I do to get rid of this pain in my bottom or back side?
Keep in mind; I studied English in college, not holistic health – and I was practicing yoga, not studying it.
But, the questions kept coming up. And people didn’t seem satisfied when I invited them to take a class taught by one of my teachers or told them they should ask their doctor (who often didn’t know anything about yoga). They knew me, felt connected to me; so, they wanted my answers.
It was like the universe was echoing Rilke, “Live the questions…live your way into the answers.” So, I did.
These days, I don’t always have the answers, and I still refer people to their health care providers. But, now I know enough about the questions to recognize how to help someone live their questions or how to direct them to a resource, like Rilke directs Kappus to Nature.
The mind-body connection is part of Nature. Tapping into that connection allows us to live our way into answers. But, people often feel disconnected from their bodies or their minds in a way that creates suffering, discomfort, dis-ease, and questions. These questions can only be answered by tapping into our mind-body connection.
See the Catch-22? If you feel disconnected from yourself, your whole self, how can you tap into yourself? One word: Yoga. The only problem is that many people think they have to be a certain way or have a certain physique in order to “do yoga.” Many people don’t realize there is a yoga practice for everyone; you just have to find yours.
The adaptive yoga taught by Matthew Sanford, and the other teachers trained by Mind Body Solutions, is an approach to yoga which helps “those who have experienced trauma, loss, and disability to find new ways to live by integrating both mind and body.” It is a way of practicing yoga which helps people tap into their whole selves in order to live their way into answers.
“When you leave this short time that we have together, you will spend the rest of your life fulfilling or answering a single question. The question is a simple one, it’s very straightforward. But I want you to think about it. The question is, “What’s next?”
Ultimately, I decided to offer an opportunity to explore the what, why, and who behind the practice. But, these questions (and answers) I’m posting as part of my 2016 Kiss My Asana offering are not only opportunities to explore the practice of yoga, they are also an opportunity to live it and share it. (The first “enhanced” video is here if you are reading this via email.)
Thank you, in advance, to everyone who donates and/or volunteers to answer these questions. If you’re interested in answering the questions (on camera), you can grab me after most classes Friday – Tuesday or email your video to myra at ajoyfulpractice.com. (Please note: If you are sending me a video, leave a 6-minute pause before each answer.)
Keep an eye out for the practices inspired by the answers and the donation-based classes coming soon!
~ NAMASTE ~
*NOTES:
(1) Yes, you can practice yoga if you have blood pressure issues; however, you may not be able to practice all poses or sequences if your blood pressure is unregulated. As with all physical exercise, get clearance from your health care provider before starting something new and then check in with your yoga teacher before class to make sure you receive modifications as needed.
(2) Wrong. While, again, some poses or sequences may be counter-indicated if you have arthritis, certain types of yoga are weight-bearing exercise, which means they are good for osteoarthritis. You may not experience the similar symptom-related benefits if you have rheumatoid arthritis, but yoga can still help you manage stress and promote overall wellness.
(3) Not if you’re mindful. Prenatal yoga and prenatal yoga modifications are great for moms-to-be, babies-to-be, and even dads-to-be. Check in with your health care provider and your yoga teacher to make sure you receive modifications as needed.
(4) It all depends on the type of pain, location of the pain, and why you may be experiencing the pain. Sometimes the answer isn’t a hatha yoga (physical yoga) pose or sequence, sometimes it’s a lifestyle or mattress change.
To paraphrase Timothy Leary, it’s time to Turn on, Tune in, and Pucker Up! February is going to be a busy month what with the usual holidays, everybody’s favorite yogathon (2016 KISS MY ASANA), and Walker Art Center’s “Winter of Love” event. Save the dates!
Tune In, Pucker Up & KISS MY ASANA!
When you think about it, February is the most obvious month to pucker up and KISS MY ASANA! Once again I am committing 4 weeks to raising awareness and resources for the adaptive yoga program at Mind Body Solutions. Matthew Sanford and the teachers at Mind Body Solutions “help those who have experienced trauma, loss, and disability find new ways to live by integrating both mind and body.” They provide classes, workshops, outreach programs, yoga teacher training and highly specialized training for health care professionals. Their mission reminds us that there’s a yoga practice for everyone. And KISS MY ASANA is an opportunity to do yoga and share yoga, while helping others. For my 2016 offering, I have a few questions….
Keep in mind, this is only a preview so that you can start thinking about your answers. Tune in for daily KISS MY ASANA posts in February!
Turn On, Tune In & Breath Love!
To celebrate the last few weeks of their Hippie Modernism exhibit, Walker Art Center is offering “Winter of Love” – 12 hours of free programming during Valentine’s weekend. Join me on Saturday, February 13th at 5 PM and/or at 7 PM in the Star Tribune Art Lab for a brief introduction to meditation and a guided meditation suitable for all ages and experience levels. A limited number of cushions, mats, and chairs will be provided. (Please note that the sessions may be different.) Check out the museum’s website for more details about the exhibit and event.
“(1, raised to the first power) times (2, raised to the second power) times (3, raised to the third power)”
– One of John G’s responses to my question about other people’s favorite reasons 108 is significant
“That’s the way, I remember it, I remember it that way / From the day, I was living there, I remember it that way / Some of our stories fade as we grow older / Some get sweeter every time they’re told / That’s the way, I’ll remember you that way”
– “That’s The Way I Remember It” by Chris Gaines (aka Garth Brooks)
Memory is a funny thing. It is more about perspective than reality – and, as such, the days and moments we remember change as we remember them. On the flip side, our perspective shapes our reality.
So, if we remember ourselves overcoming obstacles and meeting challenges, we will put on our big boy/girl panties, keep our chin up, and ride through the next storm. If, however, we forget we survived the challenge, forget that we found a way to make the obstacle the way (to paraphrase Marcus Aurelius), and only remember how hard it was to ride while soaking wet, we’ll stop riding – which is just another way to say we stop living.
Doing 108 Sun Salutations is a wet and wild ride! While doing it, people experience all kinds of things. There are moments when they aren’t sure they’ll make it one more breath – let alone 6. 12. Or 20. There are moments when they wonder how they got talked into doing it in the first place. There are moments when they feel like I’m a toddler saying, “Again!” There are moments when they can’t believe they aren’t done – or that they’re still standing. There are moments when they feel vibrant and alive. There are moments when they are amazed at everyone moving and breathing together. There are moments when everything outside of the present moment ceases, stops.
Then, there is the moment when they finish – and, as Patricia and Elizabeth said first, they feel a great sense of accomplishment. And that’s what most people remember. That’s the reason people keep coming back to do it again, and again, and again.
A feeling of accomplishment, especially when it comes from harnessing the power of awareness (mind), community (body), and breath (spirit), produces a combination of momentum and clarity. Momentum and clarity are one way to consider the two kinds of energy that make things happen: Shakti (Prakriti) and Shiva (Purusha).
Shakti (Prakriti) is nature in action and stillness. Like the seasons, it is the power of change and movement. It is symbolically female and thus gives birth to ideas so that they move from the brain or heart and into the world. Shiva (Purusha) is pure consciousness. It is arrogantly untainted by doubt, fear, or prejudice. It is symbolically male and thus provides seeds of awareness. Everything and everyone in the world is created when an idea – which is a single (or series) of electrical impulse(s) in the mind – meets the step-by-step plan that makes the way for things to happen.
“As my teacher Pandit Rajmani Tigunait explains: Tantric masters discovered long ago that the success in both the outer world and the spiritual realm is possible only if we awaken our latent power, because any meaningful accomplishment and especially the attainment of the ultimate spiritual goal requires great strength and stamina. The key to success is “shakti” – the power of the soul, the power of the divine force within. Everyone possesses an infinite (and indomitable) “shakti”, but for the most part it remains dormant. And those whose “shakti” is largely unawakened have neither the capacity to be successful in the world nor the capacity to enjoy worldly pleasures. Without access to our “shakti”, true spiritual illumination is not possible. Awakening and using “shakti” is the goal of tantra.”
A few Sundays ago I ended a conversation (with Terre and Jill at the Blaisdell Y) by saying, “Everything is tantra.” Meaning: Everything is the weaving of “the richness of spiritual experience and the fabric of everyday life into a single vibrant tapestry.” (Rod Striker, The Four Desires). You feel this weaving in the 108 mala when you have to deal with your personal limitations (physical, mental, and emotional) in order to connect the movement with the breath, and your mind-body with the spirit of the group. You feel the weaving when you recognize your heart’s desire – and start making it a real thing in the world. In The Heart of Yoga, T. K. V. Desikachar says “to attain what was previously unattainable” (i.e., coming together with your goal) is one way to define yoga.
Yoga and Hindu philosophies, however, are not the only places where you find this idea of weaving the seen and the unseen, the profane and the sacred. It is a fundamental aspect of Jewish, Christian, and Muslim mysticism. It is why the Dervishes whirl; it is why anchorites and anchoresses (like Julian of Norwich) withdrew from the world; it is, on a certain level, why people say Mazel tov!
As I mentioned at the end of the 2016 New Year’s Day practices, I often find myself wanting to wish someone, including myself, “Mazel tov!” Just before New Year’s Eve 2015, I ended a journal page with the above blessing and then thought, “Good luck…that doesn’t sound quite right in this context.” But it felt right. So, I went deeper.
“The word mazel literally means ‘a drip from above’ (in reference to the zodiac)….Thus mazel is the influence dripping down from the stars.”
“There is another meaning of the word mazel that is more relevant to the phrase Mazel Tov. Mazel is the term used in Jewish mysticism to describe the root of the soul. The mystics say that only a ray of our soul actually inhabits our body. The main part of the soul, our mazel, remains above shining down on us from a distance.”
On special occasions, Moss says, we feel the power of that drop splashing down into us. It is a moment when we are consciously aware of our unlimited possibilities. It is a moment when we feel we can accomplish anything. And a critical part of success is remembering that feeling!
Completing 108 Sun Salutations is as much a symbolic accomplishment as it is a physical/mental/emotional accomplishment. That symbolic feeling may last for a few hours, a few days, or – like a drop of mazel – you may feel it splashing into you throughout the year.
I hope the latter will be the case for everyone reading this.
If you were not one of the 51 people who started 2016 with me or with a sense of accomplishment, do something now (!!!) that is the symbolic equivalent. Try something new, something you didn’t realize you could do, and (maybe) do it with some friends. Most importantly, do it with awareness. Then, once you’ve harnessed your power, set an intention (not a resolution, but a promise to yourself) to remember this powerful feeling.
2015 Group Sankalpa (Intention): “I am an instrument of peace and love. I am healthy, happy, and whole.”
2016 Group Sankalpa (Intention): “I have what I need to fill the world with love and light. I am healthy, happy, and whole.”
I am humbled, honored, and continually amazed by the presence of the people who share their practice with me. Know that you will be a great source of inspiration to me - and others this year. Thank you, thank you, thank you - 108 times over!
Aron Moss ends his mazel article with the following blessing, which I offer to you:
“May this drip of inspiration from your soul above not dissipate, but rather have a positive and lasting effect, that from this event onwards you should live your life with higher consciousness. You should be aware of the blessings in your life and be ready to receive more and more…. Good mazel!”
We are closing in on the end of 2015. And many of us are wondering, “Where do we go from here?” or “How do I go on without him/her/them?” or “Now what?”
It’s those unseen (and unspoken) questions lingering between our readiness to be done with some parts of this year; our desires to move on; and our need to let go of the old – so some healing can begin – that can create fear-based behavior and make us move into deep hibernation. But, as much as I’m a fan of hibernating in order to heal, I’m more of a fan of putting things in perspective and moving on. So, let’s remember that this year hasn’t been all bad.
Remember, for instance, if you set an intention at the beginning of the year and now realize the “stars aligned” to help you reach your goal. Maybe you wanted a new experience, a new job, a new love – or maybe you wanted to heal as an old experience, job, or love passed out of your life. Either way, with all the craziness (and scariness) we’ve seen in the world this year, I think it’s important to remember our own personal highs-and-lows, ebbs-and-flows, risings-and-fallings.
Sun Salutations (surya namaskar) are a moving meditation which mimics the natural tendencies of our bodies and our lives. We rise, we fall, we ebb, we flow – and, if we do enough of them, we experience highs and lows. Practicing a 108 Sun Salutations is the yoga equivalent of a marathon. Like a distance runner, we repeat the same steps over and over again; finding our breath, finding our rhythm – until there is no difference between our breath, our rhythm, our minds, our bodies. We become the cycle, we become the circle or ring (mala). In essence, we are practicing effortless repetition (ajapa japa): where a whisper becomes a scream and then drifts away to silence. (See link above; it’s so worth it!)
It is the last few moments of Movember (which, for those in the know, is the month following Pinktober) and while some folks are still digesting the first of many holiday meals, I want to offer a little food for thought. Enjoy and be grateful!
~ May you have ease and well-being, and accept all the conditions of the world ~
“Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing?”
– Rosalind as Ganymede as Rosalind in William Shakespeare’s As You Like It (Act I, Scene 4)
At this point in our lives, we’re pretty clear about what we like – and what we don’t like. We build our days, as much as we can, around our preferences – enabling us to indulge in what we like and avoid the things we don’t like. We often equate this to indulging in happiness and avoiding suffering. But, there’s a loophole. It’s not the things that make us happy or not happy. And, our little, seemingly innocuous, preferences can lead to big suffering.
Buddhism teaches that attachment leads to suffering. And yoga – like Buddhism – teaches that true freedom comes from the practice of non-attachment. But, it’s so hard! I mean, when you find something (or someone) you like, appreciate, and value, it’s human to want more…and more….and more. And, as long as it feels good and serves us in the present moment, there is very little incentive to give up our attachment. Unless, of course, we’re practicing – or forced/encouraged to practice – non-attachment.
Within hours of arriving in Houston, I was hip-deep in a discussion about yoga preferences. (This always sounds like an oxymoron or the beginning of a bad joke, but it’s just life.) My friends and I made plans to attend a class led by a teacher one of them liked. The studio was packed; there was amazing live music; I was between two very dear friends; and just before we started one of them placed her hands on me, looked deep in my eyes, and whispered, “Sorry, this isn’t going to be what you’re used to.”
Got it; time to practice my new mantra!
The class was great. So great, that two of us made plans to take another class from the same teacher the following night. Only our timing didn’t work out – and so we quickly made plans to take from another teacher. My friend apologized for the change and asked how I felt about taking a class from a teacher neither of us had tried. Only my answer didn’t matter, because this unknown teacher had a sub. Who was super nervous and (it seemed) relatively new as a teacher.
I marveled at how quickly we become attached…and then I focused on practicing my new mantra.
My annual Thanksgiving trip to Texas is definitely part of my practice. It’s a break from my current routines, which is actually a break from my old routines. And as I reacquaint myself with my old routines, everything becomes new. I get a chance to soak up all the people and things I love and appreciate about being home, while also giving me the time and space to reflect on all the people and things I love and appreciate about being in Minnesota. I also get to notice what’s different, what’s changed. And this year I came with a mantra in hand:
Don’t be greedy; be grateful.
It’s simple really. When you find yourself “liking” something, take a moment to remember that all of life is not Facebook (or Instagram). Step back, take a breath, and appreciate – express a little gratitude by being specific about why you like something. Then, when you find yourself wanting more (which is the next step in that whole attachment thing) repeat the process. Step back, take a breath, and appreciate again. This works when you’re contemplating a piece of homemade peach cobbler (thanks Helen) or a great yoga class with friends and live music (thanks Lee, Mimi, Kelly, and Ganesh Express).
It also works when your regular yoga class has a sub.
I am super grateful for all the very talented teachers who are covering my classes – as well as for all the people who show up for those classes. Thank you to everyone who has shared their practice and their thoughts about the practice over the years. There is a leaf on my gratitude tree for each of you – and for every one of those practices (on and off the mat)!
The Nokomis Yoga schedule will be as follows:
Tuesday, Nov. 24th @ 12:00 PM (60 minutes with ERIKA)
Tuesday, Nov. 24th @ 7:15 PM (75 minutes with ELIZABETH)
The Wednesday night Slow Flow at Flourish will be cancelled on November 25th. Please join me on December 2nd.
For information on my incredible YMCA subs, please check the online schedules. (Also, please note that the Downtown Minneapolis will run an alternate schedule 11/26 – 11/27.)
Finally, an extra special thank you to Shelby (at Blaisdell) for covering my 6:30 PM class on Sunday, December 6th!
~~ HAVE A PEACEFUL, GRACEFUL, GRATEFUL, & JOYFUL HOLIDAY SEASON ~~
A: Something that feeds your mind, body, and spirit!
A friend mentioned today that she’s not sure she feels as fulfilled as she does when she’s in our yoga class. She expressed a desire to feel that full (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) during more parts of her life. (Naturally, she’s coming on our retreat to fill up some more!) But, in our conversation, we both recognized how hard it is to set aside the time to fill up a little bit – let alone enough to carry that awareness into the other parts of our lives.
This conversation is one I hear again and again. Especially this year, as many people consider how they can join us on our first yoga retreat. For some, it seems hard to join us for the whole weekend because the beginning of fall is already full of so many commitments or because the summer was relatively busy. Still, the desire lingers….
And as that desire lingers at the back of your mind or heart, you may spend these next few weeks eating meals with people you love, attending yoga classes as you can, and wishing for more – like the opportunity to put it all together and feel more.
Be joyful at your festival – you and your son, and your daughter, and your manservant, and your maid-servant, and the Levite, and the stranger, and the orphan, and the widow who live within your city.
For seven days you must celebrate the Festival to YHVH*, your God, in the place which YHVH* shall choose, because the Lord, your God, will bless you in all your produce, and in all the work of your hands, and you will only be happy.
(*NOTE: YHVH is commonly translated as “the Lord” in English.)
– Deuteronomy 16:14 – 15
Every cultural has rituals, meaningful traditions, marking liminal or threshold moments throughout the year. The Hebrew Bible / Old Testament outlines a series of ritual “holidays,” times when people are to gather for reflection, remembrance, and thanksgiving. Sukkot, the Festival of the Tabernacles, is the seventh and final holiday outlined in Deuteronomy, which some people view as a mandate for happiness. In fact, it is sometimes referred to as the Season of Happiness.
But, what is happiness? How is it defined by the sages of various cultures? And how do we make ourselves happy? For that matter, how can we “only be happy” for any given period of time?
The answers to all those questions (and more) are within you. You just have to go deeper.
At the end of Sukkot 2015, join Myra K. Rucker, Sandra Razieli, and Meghan Murray for a weekend of community, ritual, harvest focused meals, and yoga – all centered around the link between gratitude, mindfulness, and happiness.
WHEN: Friday, October 2nd – Sunday, October 4, 2015 (see full schedule below)
WHO: Everyone (sons, daughters, neighbors, strangers) are welcome.
WHAT: Beginning with Friday night’s festive dinner+, each day will include conversation and meditation practices to cultivate gratitude. Over the course of the weekend, Myra and Sandra will lead five (5) alignment and breath focused yoga practices focusing on gratitude and the ritual of Sukkot. Meghan will prepare yoga-friendly, vegetarian, gluten-free fall harvest meals that will tantalize the taste buds. Saturday the celebration culminates with KIRTAN! All in all, it is a weekend to nourish the mind-body-spirit.
FULL PACKAGE A (Includes all events and meals+, plus a bed in a communal space in the renovated creamery): $250 – $450 **only 7 beds remaining** SOLD OUT!
FULL PACKAGE B (Includes all events and meals+): $200
A la carte package: Pick and choose which events to attend: $15 – $300
10% discount for students / seniors purchasing full package A or B.
+ Meals are not certified Kosher. Refrigeration is available for any attendee.
We will provide a limited amount of mats and props. At least one (1) meal and one (1) meditation/yoga practice will be held outdoors. Events are intended to be communal; however, quiet spaces will be reserved for anyone wishing to retreat in silence – and conversation pits will be reserved for anyone wishing to continue dialogue during the silent portions of the weekend.
~ We are grateful for your presence ~
Friday, October 2nd:
6:00 – 7:00 PM Check In
7:00 PM Festive Dinner & “Guided” Conversation
9:30 PM Deep Relaxation Yoga (On 2nd Floor) / Silent Time (1 room on 1st floor designated for conversation)
10:45 PM Lights Out! / Silent Time
Saturday, October 3rd:
7:00 AM Morning Pages and Walking Meditation / Silent Time (1 room designated for conversation)
7:30 AM – 8:30 AM Heart Opening Yoga
8:45 AM – 9:30 AM Breakfast
***
11:30 AM – 1:30 PM YOGA (vinyasa) – open practice
1:30 PM – 2:00 PM Snacks (1 room designated for silence / journal writing)
2:00 PM – 3:00 PM LUNCH
***
5:00 PM – 6:00 PM YOGA
6:15 PM – 7:15 PM DINNER & “Guided” Conversation (1 space designated for silence)
7:30 PM – 9:00 PM KIRTAN
9:30 PM Deep Relaxation Yoga / Silent Time (1 room on 1st floor designated for conversation)
10:45 PM Lights Out! / Silent Time
Sunday, October 4th:
7:00 AM Morning Pages and Walking Meditation / Silent Time (1 room designated for conversation)
7:30 AM – 8:30 AM Yoga
8:45 AM – 9:30 AM Breakfast
9:30 AM Closing Ceremony
“Thanks to everyone who came out to support Mind Body Solutions on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. The essence of Matthew Sanford’s teaching is transformation. It was deeply inspiring to see everyone open their minds and bodies to this exploration.” – Kari Anderson’s message to the yogis who donated $315 at our April 18th donation-based event.
As we approach the end of the 2015 KISS MY ASANA yogathon, I find myself overwhelmed on so many occasions that I sometimes feel like I have lost my “big girl words.” Time and time again, I have been blown away by the generosity and kindness of people on the mat. I set my 2015 donation goal thinking I could raise a few more dollars than last year – and already some joyful yogis from at least two (2) states have more than doubled my initial goal! (Thank you all for that!)
Time and time again, I have been moved by an encounter with a Mind Body Solutions teacher, student, or volunteer. And, every time – every single time – I take a class from Matthew Sanford, I am blown away and my mind is completely boggled. In fact, I shudder to think how many times I said, “I was blown away…” or described something as “mind boggling” during last Saturday’s donation-based class. Maybe it’s cute at first, especially if you’re expecting further explanation down the road; however, some things can only be experienced to be fully understood. So, I invite people to catch a Monday class with Matt and, every once in awhile, I mention Mind Body Solutions in class and try to channel a little Matt the way I sometimes channel a little Yoda. During last Saturday’s donation-based class, I felt my words were so inadequate I relied on words written by Bruce Kramer and Cathy Wurzer in We Know How This Ends.
For those of you unfamiliar with his story, Bruce Kramer was a former dean at the University of St Thomas Twin Cities who chronicled his life with ALS on Cathy Wurzer’s Minnesota Public Radio show. We Know How This Ends describes their parallel journeys through this process of living and dying, while sharing the process of living and dying. The book is raw, and rich, and so real I had to set it aside for a moment after I first received it from a mutual friend and student of Bruce and mine. But, before Saturday’s KISS MY ASANA class, I read the chapter where Bruce and Cathy talk about “Dis Ease Yoga.” And I was so moved (read, “blown away”), I decided to share Cathy Wurzer’s words as part of our introduction and Bruce’s words as our conclusion.
“There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light / And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it” – Head Full of Doubt / Road Full of Promise by Avett Brothers
In We Know How This Ends, Bruce Kramer describes aspects of yoga that are very familiar to me – even though I’ve never been in a wheelchair or felt the extreme decline of my body. He describes benefits from and challenges in his yoga practice that may be familiar to anyone who spends a little time on a mat. And, like me, he was a big music fan. (Thank him for the Avett Brothers song referenced here! And like it on YouTube!) He and Cathy Wurzer also talk about a point before ALS, before “Dis Ease Yoga,” when they didn’t really get the significance of the practice.
“If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected / Decide what to be and go be it” – Head Full of Doubt / Road Full of Promise by Avett Brothers
I was fortunate in that my introduction to yoga included an introduction to yoga as a philosophy and to the idea that yoga can be practiced by anyone – you just have to find your practice. It wasn’t until I started teaching that I discovered people who would stop practicing yoga, because of an injury or an unfortunate circumstance. And, it never fails to break my heart when someone gives up what can be a healing practice, because their body (and/or their doctor) says, “No more push-ups.” That’s when a yoga teacher can step in and say, “OK, you’re not doing that anymore, but you can do this!” Only, I remember hearing former paratrooper Arthur Boorman’s healing story and thinking, “How is it possible that Diamond Dallas was the only yoga teacher willing to help this guy?!?” Well, bottom line, too many Western yoga teachers are ill-equipped to teach the physical practice (let alone the meta-physical practice) to someone who isn’t already considered physically and/or mentally “able.” Thankfully, Matthew Sanford and the other teachers at Mind Body Solutions are changing that!
“There was a dream and one day I could see it / Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it / And there was a kid with a head full of doubt / So I’ll scream till I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out” – Head Full of Doubt / Road Full of Promise by Avett Brothers
Mind Body Solutions is on “a mission to transform trauma, loss and disability into hope and potential by awakening the connection between mind and body.” It sounds all lofty and wonderful, right? But, it’s also very real and very raw. It’s a mission that, as the Avett Brothers sing, gets “the last of those bad thoughts” out so we can realize that as long as we’re breathing there is a mind-body-spirit connection. And it’s there, even when machines are helping us breathe.
Despite occasionally practicing with Matt; implementing some of what he teaches in my own practice and teaching; and having a few personal connections to people being served by the mission, I am slightly removed from the very real and very raw experiences found in adaptive yoga. If you’re not living the mission or deeply connected to someone being served by the mission, I think it is easy to fall into a space where this whole adaptive yoga thing just sounds like a good idea – you know, a worthy cause – but somehow separate from what the rest of us are doing. As I mentioned earlier, reading the “Dis Ease Yoga” chapter in We Know How This Ends helped remind me that we are all in bodies together and so, therefore, we are all in this yoga thing together. It’s not the style or the tradition that makes something yoga, it’s the coming together.
“ I feel part of the universe open up to meet me / My emotion so submerged, broken down to kneel in/Once listening, the voices they came / Had to somehow greet myself, read myself /Heard vibrations within my cells, in my cells “ – Better Days by Eddie Vedder
There are plenty of times when I feel part of the universe – and I feel connected to every other part of the universe. There are times I relish that feeling. Superficial as it may seem, I sometimes relish that feeling when it comes from seeing someone with a yoga mat and thinking, “Hey, that person’s a yogi, like me!” Even without knowing anything about them, or their practice – even knowing sometimes the person could be going to Pilates or something else altogether – I still have that moment of affinity; that moment when I feel connected and want to go deeper, find out more about them. But, it’s very rare that I have that feeling about someone in a wheelchair, or someone on a ventilator, or someone missing a limb. Cognitive, I know we are connected – but I very rarely have that visceral, bone-deep, cellular feeling like I do with someone with whom I have a shared experience.
Last Sunday I had a one of those rare bone-deep, visceral yoga/union moments.
I wore my Yoga and Body Image Coalition “This is what a yogi looks like” t-shirt while teaching, but (y’all know how I layer) between classes I wore my long sleeved 2015 KISS MY ASANA shirt. Somehow, despite my hoodie and my winter coat, a woman in a wheelchair spotted my yogathon t-shirt. We were going in opposite directions, but as we passed one another she shouted, “I practice there too!” I said, “It’s awesome.” She sighed, “I know,” with a big smile on her face.
About twenty minutes later, Carrie and I ended up in the same coffee shop – and we got to talk about yoga. She encouraged me to try a practice at Courage Center and told me about her teachers, only two (2) of whom were familiar to me. For a moment I thought about how by supporting the yogathon, teachers and students like me create opportunities for more teachers and students like Carrie, and her teachers.
But, ultimately, when I remember my discussion with Carrie, I will remember her saying she loved how friendly everyone is when she practices. I will remember that big Cheshire grin on her face when she said her favorite part of class was the relaxation part – and how her grin looked exactly like the big Cheshire grin my regulars get when they ask if we can do a 60-minute Savasana. I will also remember how that feeling I had when she first noticed my shirt, was the same feeling I have when I notice someone carrying a yoga mat: I will remember that moment when we were one and the same.
A Joyful Practice 